r/confidence • u/Akashh23_pop • 5d ago

How do you fix your low-self esteem?

I think part of reason I seem to lack confidence is because I have low self esteem and I think this problem has occurred because I've never really challenged myself and accepted defeat easily. I also didn't go outside comfort zone. I seem to put off tasks and worry all day instead of doing something about it.

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u/ExtraRawPotato 5d ago

Find a skill you really enjoy doing and work hard and get really good at it. It can be literally anything ex. Knitting, bowling, rock climbing, chess

It will help build your self esteem and confidence.

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u/plivjelski 4d ago

What if you lack self esteem and confidence because you are terrible at everything no matter how hard you work at it... ? 

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u/ExtraRawPotato 4d ago

Eh I'm gonna risk coming off a bit snobbish here and say I don't really believe that's possible. If you really put time and effort into something you're going to get better.

Ex. If someone spends an hour and a half a few days a week practicing playing the piano after a few months they are going to get better and after a few years they are going to get good. It would be really hard to do that consistently and make zero progress or improvements.

I will acknowledge however that its possible someone who feels that way just hasn't found what they enjoy spending their time doing yet and so feels that way about everything which is fine, just need to experiment. As a kid I cycled through tennis, soccer, basketball, and swimming before I realized sports isn't for me and now I play chess.

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u/plivjelski 4d ago

If you really put time and effort into something you're going to get better.

As a kid I cycled through tennis, soccer, basketball, and swimming before I realized sports isn't for me

These are contradictory statements. 

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u/ExtraRawPotato 4d ago

No.

I definitely did get better at all 4 of those sports the more I did them. Again it's very very VERY difficult to dedicate yourself to something and consistently practice it and never improve in the slightest.

However,

I also simultaneously realized I didn't enjoy doing them and wasn't passionate enough about them to stay consistent about an improvement plan, so I quit.

If I continued doing them would I have continued improving? Yes. Would it also make me miserable and hate life? Yes