r/boringdystopia 20d ago

Corporate Control 💼 Read the effing room

Post image

And nothing was learned. Looks like school needs to be back in session.

1.8k Upvotes

56 comments sorted by

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484

u/CraptasticCommando 20d ago

Remember when the GOP was worried about the "death panels" of single payer healthcare? Insurance companies are just for-profit death panels.

119

u/velveeta-smoothie 19d ago

Death panels are only ok if they protect shareholder value

6

u/Matrixneo42 17d ago

Capitalism! Money money money money…. Money!

211

u/Equinsu-0cha 20d ago

Im sure hell be fine and not a thing was started.  Yep.  Not a thing anyone can do.

92

u/Emmanuel_Badboy 20d ago

One American has the chance to do the funniest thing.

21

u/jizmaticporknife 18d ago

It’ll be an American with nothing left to lose and that bucket of Americans is getting bigger.

3

u/Fiona_Nerd 17d ago

It'll probably be another 26 year old fresh off their parents health insurance lol

145

u/VladTepesDraculea 20d ago

The guy has been crying about how people have been aggressive and mean when they should have shown support for the heads of a company that condemned so many to suffering and death.

That said, AFAIK, this is not a real quote.

140

u/senfood 20d ago

FYI, Andrew Witty is the CEO of UnitedHealthGROUP and has been for several years. Brian Thompson was the CEO of UnitedHealthCARE, a subsidiary. Witty isn't the replacement He's the top boss.

87

u/Simple_Song8962 19d ago edited 19d ago

Yes. And his annual salary is $24Million, double the salary of Brian Thompson. That's $2Million every month, folks. Or, $500,000 each week of the year, though we know he has generous PTO for vacation and illness. He talks about "unnecessary care." Let's continue talking about unnecessary salaries!

7

u/wheremypp 18d ago

Did you mean final boss?

61

u/Stegosaurus_Peas 19d ago

"Unnecessary care" is such an American thing to say

148

u/Forgotlogin_0624 20d ago

He said from his compound, surrounded by mercenaries, swarmed by drones. 

Their entire position is predicated on charging you but never providing services.  Of course this would be their reaction.  

They in this way remind me of feudal lords. And that reminds me of the jacquerie, a peasant revolt in France, or high reminds me of an account of said revolt. "peasants killed a knight, put him on a spit, and roasted him with his wife and children looking on. After ten or twelve of them raped the lady, they wished to force feed them the roasted flesh of their father and husband and made them then die by a miserable death".

30

u/jaklacroix 20d ago

Where's The Claims Adjuster?

6

u/RecklessRuin 19d ago

Sitting at a Starbucks on his laptop adding to the people's manifesto-

"Likewise, we guard against the pressures that exist for unnecessary care. Unnecessary care will not be provided for any appeals for sympathy or empathy. You know neither are included your plan. Both claims have been unequivocally denied. You have exhausted all appeals."

22

u/Hrtpplhrtppl 19d ago

No justice, no peace...

39

u/Accomplished-Bad3856 20d ago edited 19d ago

Just as a reminder, it is an actual crime that this guy can go to jail for, NOT to serve the interests of the shareholders.

Edit: edited for accuracy.

10

u/meatshieldjim 20d ago

Interest can be run the company well don't lose value it doesn't have to be increase the value of the stock.

7

u/Beowood03 20d ago

Yes but it always is increase the value of stock…

3

u/meatshieldjim 19d ago

I am just spit balling a lawyer's defense.

3

u/Beowood03 19d ago

Well as the post said, read the effing room

4

u/Hapalops 19d ago

Fiduciary responsibility is a civil matter. Worst case scenario is a lawsuit for lost money and losing his job. It's also a loose juris prudence that might not hold up, but it's not tested enough.

2

u/tetraenite 19d ago

It’s a crime that that’s a crime.

16

u/crustdrunk 19d ago

Unnecessary…..care? God I hate this planet

17

u/StolenRocket 19d ago

I'm gonna go ahead and bet 100$ that this guy has "bodyguards for hire", "bulletproof vest" in his recent search history

16

u/Akrevics 19d ago

DJ, cue "another one bites the dust"

11

u/tetraenite 19d ago

For all those who say Andrew Witty didn’t actually say this, yes he f’ing did. Source: https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/crime/unitedhealth-brian-thompson-shooting-media-andrew-witty-b2660646.html

4

u/zenmondo 19d ago

I wish this had more upvotes.

10

u/DominatorLJ 19d ago

Every single one of ‘em

8

u/destroth11 20d ago

Need more regulations on health care and providers!!!!

9

u/Chinchillamancer 19d ago

Someone start lubing up the guillotine.

7

u/LuckeyCharmzz 19d ago

It’s always great to know what’s going to be on someone’s tombstone months in advance

7

u/Rumpelteazer45 19d ago

Since when is auto denying everything “unnecessary care”.

7

u/TShara_Q 19d ago

This is just further proof that capitalism is not a meritocracy. I'm just saying, if my predecessor had been shot, and his death celebrated by millions of people, I'd probably keep my mouth shut.

5

u/Zealousideal_Bed9062 19d ago

BUT. THATS. NOT. YOUR. JOB!

4

u/woodisgood64 19d ago

I would think this would be a good time for everybody to google search: ‘where does Andrew Witty live’…

5

u/matthewamerica 19d ago

They are really going to make us set up a whole ass guillotine before they take a hint.

6

u/BreathingSavesMyLife 19d ago

Define "unnecessary care" you born-in-a-golden-diaper slappable piece of your-golden-human-waste. Man, I'm not even American and I'm pissed.

3

u/Vegetable-Key3600 19d ago

Fuckin cowards

2

u/themehkanik 19d ago

Cool now see if you can guard against hot lead

In a videogame of course

2

u/faribx 18d ago

dang.. can we groundhogs day Bernie Sanders running for president.

2

u/jizmaticporknife 18d ago

The politicians won’t do anything to improve it either. They’re owned by these companies and they want to continue with status quo for as long as they can. They want to gas light us into believing that we all love our private health insurance companies.

2

u/Allel-Oh-Aeh 18d ago

Lol soooo did his wife just take out a new life insurance policy on him or something?

2

u/elcee84 18d ago

"Then you shall continue to be picked off one by one" -Society

2

u/currentlyinbiochem 18d ago

Andrew Witty (500 White Oak Ridge Rd, Short Hills, NJ, 07078) should be fearful right now

2

u/wetassloser 17d ago

new CEO Target

2

u/ForGrateJustice 19d ago

Sounds like someone should take a quiet Manhattan stroll.

3

u/lightning_po 19d ago edited 19d ago

There's no press release or news article that proves he said that. This is just propaganda.
Don't get me wrong, I'm here for the sentiment, but I want to make sure there's no misinformation.

1

u/Zer0slasH 18d ago

Can't kill an idea

1

u/fusionsgefechtskopf 15d ago

u can ....it just requires some bad actions just ask the uhigours of fallusgong(misstype intentional so it does not get buzzword busted) if they have any idea wich traditions they had once......like before 2014 ish

1

u/chunkous 18d ago

"I want to be next"

0

u/Innomen 19d ago

He is reading the room, that's the entire point. People aren't gonna do anything, the whole reason this guy is a folk hero is because he actually did something, but I am basically certain that if we ever get the full true facts, we'll find it wasn't some romantic rebellion, it was just more corporate bullshit, like some other CEO wanted him dead for like tax purposes or whatever. If americans were actually ever gonna start killing our blood sucking overlords we'd have started in 2008 at the latest.
The reality is the most they have to fear from us is a spicy tweet. I'd love to be wrong, but I'm not.