r/aspergers • u/Benn0rs • 21h ago

I don't have an elevator pitch to explain myself

So I got diagnosed early this year and since then I really try to understand myself, my life and also how I could make my life enjoyable.

As always, I read all the books I found about the topic. Especially I try to add routines I didn't have before to make my life a bit more easy. Unmasking is also a big topic I struggle with currently. In general, going to all of this is currently not easy. Instead of my life is getting more easy, I'm even more aware of myself which makes it sometimes even harder than before.

Now, it's not logical to assume people would respect your characteristics when you don't tell anyone. Therefore, I'm thinking all the time of telling people around me my condition. But I'm afraid of the situation itself. People expect an explanation of how I feel, how they can react to it or sometimes unfortunately even the "everyone is a bit autistic" nonsense. But I don't have an elevator pitch. It's just too much. It's like everything that happens in my life. Once, I started with "I have problems with handeling emotions" to old friends. But this is just one thing and not the whole story. Of course they can not understand me with this explanation, and the whole possible conversation with all it's possible outcomes now is everyday in my head since then. And it's driving me even more crazy.

Long text so far but I hope you can understand or relate to my situation. How do you handle this? It makes sense to tell other people but it feels so hard and nowadays I try to avoid it.

Thank you for reading this text.

9 Upvotes

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8

u/aspieincarnation 21h ago

Guarantee you that you have met many people all with their own problems that they dont dump on you in the first 30 seconds of meeting you and theyre doing fine. Many of them may be even worse off. You dont need an elevator pitch or a disclaimer before they even get to know you.

2

u/heyitscory 21h ago

Exactly. 

Save the explanation for the first big disaster, then you can just reference the disaster as shorthand for "please be patient I have autism" or sometimes "I know this behavior is weird and makes people uncomfortable, but with the context of Autism, it's more understandable and less irritating/confusing/threatening"

Now when someone looks at you like you're from Mars, you nod knowingly and say "cheddar cheese incident", and they say "Ah," and go about their day.

4

u/[deleted] 21h ago

I don’t know if it’ll work for you, but, personally, all I say are two words: ’I’m autistic’. From there, I’ve found people usually tend to create their own opinions and formulate their own questions. All I can do after that is debunk any myths or misconceptions and answer any queries to the best of my abilities.

2

u/heyitscory 21h ago

If I could do a rainbow with my hands like SpongeBob, I could probably just get away with one word.

1

u/[deleted] 3h ago

What a brilliant world that would be.

2

u/gudbote 7h ago

Most people don't care. Not specifically about aspies but about anyone. They have their own problems but expect a certain level of compromise in the public space. Sometimes their expectations are inconsiderate or unrealistic but they wouldn't be swayed by any 'special circumstances' of strangers, unless they specifically need and want to engage with said strangers.