I (F21) really fucked up. This was some weeks ago at a party we were both supposed to go to. My girlfriend wasn’t feeling well so she stayed back home, I went anyway because I’d committed to going for my friends etc. It was finals week so I told myself I’d cap it at 2 ciders for the night… then someone offered me a shot and the group went to the bars.

I don’t remember all I did at the bars, or walking back to my friend’s house. I remember hanging out and just chatting about assorted topics in her living room, and drinking a cider that someone left on the table. I don’t remember entering her bedroom. I remember her reminding me about my girlfriend, and saying “she doesn’t need to know”. I don’t remember much of the act itself. I woke up the next morning naked in her bed, still tipsy, and she drove me home. I apologized for what happened and she did too, and in the moment I said it would be something to “take to the grave”.

I can’t take this to the grave. It’s eating me up inside. I feel so awful about how I betrayed my relationship and how I got in the way of their friendship (I introduced my GF to my friends and them two in particular hit it off really well). GF thinks so highly of my friend and trusts me so much and I can’t believe I just shattered both of those things with my stupid drunk actions. I don’t even know what I was thinking at the time.

It’s been some weeks since that night, I still haven’t told her because of the circumstance (finals week and she had a really important meeting coming up) and also because I’m absolutely terrified of the fallout. Mostly the latter. I’ve been drinking a lot about it, of course. We haven’t been able to see each other for the holidays yet but I think when I next get the chance I have to tell her in person. I’m so scared and I regret my stupid actions and alcohol habits so much.

My husband of 20 years has been an alcoholic and addicted cocaine for about 4 years now. I’m trying to be super supportive for our 4 children, however when he’s drunk he’s very, very hateful and nasty towards me. He talks about my weight, and how he is with the wrong person, he should be with her (his ex gf from high school), how he fucked up and will never be happy. Then he’s soooo sorry when he’s sober or doesn’t remember. When I left him for a bit he was begging me every day to get back with him and that he loves me so much. I don’t know. I feel like when he’s drunk he is showing me how he really feels about me.

I’m 21 and the last few years I’ve been drinking more and more and it’s gotten to the point where I think it’s becoming a problem. As an 18 year old I went out occasionally with friends and all that and from 19-20 I barely drank but last year in October I got hit with 2 massive gut punch worthy personal things and since then I began drinking more and more to the point where my friends and family are concerned. I kinda shrugged off their concerns as then joking or being like “oh I’m not an alcoholic because blah blah blah” but I’ll regularly buy 750ml bottles of rum and drink them alone in one night so that I don’t feel certain things. Some occasions I’ll wake up and the first thing I’ll do is pour a drink (this isn’t too often but it’s often enough) and most days I’m just waiting to get home so I can pour myself another one. The realisation came tonight though and it sounds so stupid but I was watching the new Dexter show and one of the characters got home from work and instantly grabbed a bottle of beer from the fridge and I joked to myself (while pouring a drink) that I’d be just like him in a few years. And then it hit me that that’s just me now. And I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what steps to take or anything like that. I just feel kinda lost and reflective and I just really need some advice (and to those wondering as soon as I had that realisation I poured that drink down my sink but there is a massive temptation to pour another one). I’m just scared for my future and scared of losing people I care about.

Hi, I’m a 22-year-old female, and I recently got some bloodwork done that showed my liver enzyme levels are really concerning. My AST was 92, and my ALT was 191. I’ve been drinking about 3-4 days a week for the past year, and my doctor believes this could be the reason for the elevated counts.

I’m really scared about what this means for my liver and whether the damage is reversible. My doctor told me to stop drinking, so I’m planning to abstain completely for the next few months and follow up with additional blood tests.

I wanted to ask if anyone else has experienced elevated liver enzymes due to alcohol use? Were you able to reverse the damage, and how long did it take for your levels to improve? My anxiety is through the roof, and I could really use some reassurance or advice from anyone who has gone through something similar.

I recently found out that it’s only some people who experience a mind blowing feeling of euphoria from drinking alcohol. I had no idea but it’s made so many things make sense. I would describe it as the feeling of love pumping through my veins and I always wondered how others had the willpower to have just one or two drinks once in a while. But now I understand that it’s just not the same experience to them. I’m 4 years off the liquor and this revelation has helped me beat myself up a little less about the 2 decades I wasted on alcohol so I thought I’d share.

I found a receipt on his pay pal showing he went to store and purchased alcohol not once but 3 times over the last month. Not large amount but for an alcoholic. Any amount is too much. I'm sad. I'm mad. We're currently on vacation and I don't want to spoil it. I know I need to talk to him. Right? We're on our way to visit his family who he moved away from 6 months ago and I worry when we leave to go home he'll relapse even worse. I don't know if I have it in me to go through it again. It was hard back in July and August. He never told me his drinking was that bad and I basically found out on my own in so many ways...and it was a really struggle! I knew he was drinking those days. I can tell I recall asking repeatedly ... but looking at the receipts on paypal show he wasn't smashed. It was like one beer here and there. but that will very quickly turn into 2 4 locos and then 2 bottles of vodka in a night. Ugh :( I just really hate the lying. The gaslighting i love him so much but is a life of this worth it?

I'm sorry to drag this out i guess I just needed to vent. If anyone has words of encouragement, advice, anything at all...

My wife is an alcoholic. She has hidden alcohol from me 4 times (that I’ve caught) and just yesterday admitted she had been drinking heavily during the day for nearly a month while I was at work.

The last time I caught it was right before our youngest child’s birthday. Things have been very rocky, and I told her last year if I caught it again I would be done. She knows I’m at the end of my rope…as her addiction has caused her to lie and make horrible decisions. Even our wedding night, I got covid and was horribly sick in bed. She stayed up drinking and opened all of our presents even though everyone begged her not to do that.

Yesterday she comes up to me and says she wants to go back home across the country for a week for her sisters baby shower. She asks me to come but considering we both have kids from previous marriages and my work, that I just can’t get off of work and change everything around that quickly. I tell her I have reservations about her going that I am scared she will make bad decisions. Furthermore she didn’t even realize until today that when she wants to go is on our 2 year wedding anniversary. Didn’t even realize it. I know she’s taking the steps to repair her relationship with her family, to get better but do I have the right to be upset? How do I as the spouse of an alcoholic put aside my feelings for her recovery. I just don’t trust her at all, but at the same time I know it’s important she goes. It did hurt that she’s been selfish our entire marriage and didn’t even remember our anniversary. I’m a lost soul of an alcoholic spouse and am at the end of my rope. Any guidance would be very helpful.

I love my father very much. There is no one in this world I am closer with. He is an alcoholic and has been as long as I can remember. He has been in active addiction however the last two years pretty hard. He had a life threatening emergency 3 years ago and stopped, was sober for a year and then went heavy and hasn’t stopped since. I can’t think of any life changing events to cause this dramatic change but he can’t stop. He drinks hard liquor every day, has now gotten fired from work, and has very very suicidal and crazy thoughts he is only comfortable telling me. His liver has been in danger for months according to the doctors. He is 52.

I feel I have taken on the role of enabling him because he has been very abusive in our past (alcoholic related abuse only when I was a teenager), so I am still scared to even bring up how worried I am about him. His doctors have told him he needs to stop and he knows how bad it is. I don’t want to keep enabling him I want to help him even if it means him hating me I am scared he is going to die.

What do I do? Do interventions help? I know he cares but he just drinks the part of himself away that can. I can’t get him out of this cycle. I don’t want to watch him kill hisself

What’s up gang. 24 and about to be divorced, partially because my wife says I’m only nice and loving when I’m drunk. The rest of the time I’m stressing about money or doing whatever I can to not engage with my life because I don’t know how to be a normal person, which includes drinking among other things. Now that she’s gone I blow through a liter of vodka in 2 days. Not great. It keeps me from doing anything more stupid though, if you know what I’m saying. On top of that, my mom, who’s been an alcoholic for as long as I can remember, is now sober. She also lives 1000 miles away with the rest of my family, but yeah I am leaning very hard on alcohol to cope with my whole life blowing up in my face. Until now, it hasn’t impacted my job but I think that’s about to change. I really have no plans to stop as its the only thing that makes me feel a little bit better about working a job I hate to support a future that doesn’t exist anymore. I feel like the same dumb kid that used to cry and hold on for dear life to my dad’s legs because he had to go home and I just couldn’t understand why he didn’t live with us anymore. Except this time I’m a grown man and its my soon to be ex wife. If whiskey could talk…

My dad has been drinking more and more over the last year come home from a work doo and i had to put him in fetal position, hiding 500ml 12% cans under his dresser and finishing 3-4 bottles of wine in a night. gets angry at my mother and yells at her about how annoying she is and occasionally mentions that he wants to leave.

very nice guy sober or stoned just extremely horrible person drunk. wont admit he has a problem.

what do i do. i think the addiction will kill him

I have been drinking all the time for years. It doesn't effect my work or relationships, but I don't want to need alcohol to feel happy. I don't see a way out of this, I don't know what to do.

I binged for five day vodka.. then been sober, I haven’t gotten any sleep. The first doctors I went to just gave me some clonidine patches. I am thinking of going to the other Kaiser to get another subscription. Any advice? I can’t sleep and it’s annoying

I feel like going out and doing things won’t be fun if I don’t drink. I have no energy to and no desire to. I also feel like, shockingly, all my hobbies are centered around drinking - not that I have many hobbies, my “hobbies” include hanging out with friends and drinking, sitting in a boat and drinking, cooking and drinking. Idk I know at some point in my life I enjoyed things sober but I feel like nothing will ever compare to being buzzed and traversing this life. I guess I’m chasing the dragon

I know im an alcoholic. I drink 5-10 bud lights a day. But I don’t drink until I get home from work, and other than that, I drink a gallon or more water during the day while I’m working.

I have a very physically demanding job, never let my addiction cross over into work, but I’m starting to see it physically. I have a beer gut. Iv had 6 pack abs for years, but now(in the past two years) I’ve drank everyday (always bud light and nothing else).

I’ll jump right out there and say, I’m not gonna stop drinking, but I need help figuring out how to get my body back while maintaining my lifestyle

I feel as though I’m being dramatic with this whole thing, like I don’t know if I have a problem. When the thought creeps up that I do I dismiss it by saying I’m being dramatic. Things like sneaking shots when my wife isn’t looking, getting legitimately upset at myself that I’m mad when she says I shouldn’t be drinking, (never mad at her, just mad at myself for knowing she’s right), or lying to her about not drinking when I have been. Gotten pretty good at hiding it tbh. Any tips to break this alcohol thing? I dunno I think I just want to vent about it whether anyone reads it or not.

My younger brother (22m) is drinking and driving, and probably drinking at work. A couple months ago, my family (mom and dad) and I (24f) caught wind of the fact that he's been struggling. He lives at home with my parents and younger brother (15m) after dropping out of college a few years ago and works full-time. Over the summer it became apparent that he's been dealing with depression/anxiety. My parents urged him to go to the doctor who prescribed him a few things including zoloft, which he's been taking on and off. We also tried to get him into therapy for a while but after two sessions he's refused to go again. I live 2 hours away in the city so can't be home all the time, but my parents have been reporting that he's been feeling better until a few days ago when my dad found several bottles of liquor, including water bottles filled with clear liquors, in his backseat. We're sure he's been driving and working drunk, and is potentially a danger to others on the road now.

Of course I understand that calling the police to report him is the "best" thing to do—that is our option for tomorrow, we're trying to think up solutions before escalating that tonight—but he's my little brother and the idea of calling the cops on a young Black kid who is struggling is too painful for me to bear. (Even though I know that getting a call that he's hurt himself or someone else will be more painful). As a Black woman (not that it should matter, but I'm from the suburbs, highly educated, and middle class), I've never had a helpful or positive encounter with the police. I can't imagine that this would be. But our hands are tied—he refuses to listen to us (and we're worried the constant yelling and worry will lead him to do something drastic anyway). He's become increasingly more aggressive, detached, and distant from the family and his friends. I wish there was someway to force him into rehab or to speak with a professional but obviously he's a legal adult. For context, my family lives in Connecticut.

Has anyone else dealt with a situation like this? What did you end up doing—just called the police on your young black brother? Is there any other possible solution????

i woke up the other day after drinking a whole bottle of whiskey every night as usual (unfortunately i am not proud of this) and i literally could only stand for 10 seconds and i would collapse and just get back in my bed had to call boss and tell him i would not be there (i work a 7.50 hour job plus tips and am doing trade school rn) so i really didnt care what he had to say but like why did this happen. i woke up at 6:30 am and was like this until 12 pm like what is this why.

and u can say i need rehab but like im j goin thru sum and im movin out soon so im gon have to stop fs when i get a real salary job and i will do that. i just want to know why i was weak and couldnt stand for 10 secs

I’m not proud of it, but after managing to stay sober for two months. I had to much to drink yesterday and blacked out. Now I’m wondering if there’s some sort of a mental technique to help remember that exactly happened, as it scares me not knowing how I behaved and if I did something horrible. I just want to know what happened and, or why the fuck I overdid it so badly, because I am not even hangover In the long term I will simply stay sober again, so that something like this won’t happen again 😕 I’m so ashamed of myself!🫤

I guess the question is, how did alcoholism start for you?

I'll make my story short. I'm in my twenties with an history of depression/anxiety. I never was an heavy drinker but this year I've started the habit of drinking alone while very depressed. Only little/moderate amounts (1 or 2 beers and one drink), but I take medications AND Xanax so it doesn't take much to get me tipsy. I never crossed the line of getting full drunk, however much I wanted it. This was a everyday habit for at least 1 month. After that I got told to stop and went on a sober streak of 1 month. It wasn't easy but it was feasible.

Then one day I wake up with incredibly strong cravings. I was shaking. I ended up drinking the usual dose and started back the cycle. Now I do one or two days sober (resisting cravings) and then I drink again, not very much but alas. When I don't drink, I have nausea, headache and vertigo, my hands shake a bit (and people have noticed).

I don't understand if I am developing a problem or if I'm already IN the problem and neck deep in denial... Mainly I'm shocked that I'm having withdrawals with how little I drink. (confirmed it was withdrawals by my doctor). Where do I go from here?

Well, since my last relapse. Two years ago today, I cleaned out at least a pint every evening. I was in debt and still blew 50$ on booze a day. Two years ago today, my brother found me in a puddle of my own sick for the last time. Just about overhauled everything in my life since then, I have a different job, live in a different house, hang with different people. Sometimes I miss those things, some of them all the time. But I'm never going to miss the life I was living.

Merry Christmas, and to always moving forward!

I know when people quit smoking they say they switch to lollipops to curb some of the craving because it satisfies their oral fixation. What’s the equivalent for that when you’re trying to quit drinking? My main issue right now is coping with the inescapable and crushing weight of life and work. Usually I turn to alcohol so I can breath get through it but now that I’m trying to quit it’s not an option and idk if there’s a way to breath again

I want to share my story about living with a narcissist and being under financial control. I am a middle-aged woman who married young and had children early. Coming from a poor background without higher education, I didn’t know how to secure a better future for myself. I worked with my husband for years, handling administrative tasks and traveling for meetings, but throughout this time, I endured emotional, physical, and financial abuse.

The stress and abuse even led me into alcoholism and several destructive incidents. After countless fights, therapy, and raising my children (who are now almost grown), I finally took a major step and enrolled in university full-time. I’ve also been sober for 1 year and 6 months, which I’m proud of.

While my husband has supported the idea of me pursuing a degree and was okay with me stepping away from work, he still exerts financial control over me. This holiday season has been particularly hard. He doesn’t give me pocket money or help with basic personal expenses like skincare or haircuts, I haven’t been to a hairdresser in a year. My daughter had to cut my hair when she came home for Christmas.

Recently, I asked him for a small amount of money ($40) to go to the movies and buy snacks with my daughter. He freaked out, saying it was too much and claiming we wouldn’t have enough money for food tomorrow. To clarify, we’re not financially struggling. He spends more than that amount daily on himself, but when it comes to me, there’s always an excuse. He makes investments I know nothing about and hoards money under his control.

In one argument, he accused me of only caring about money and said I could only be happy if I had money. His words and actions are incredibly humiliating and make me feel unworthy. It’s devastating that I can’t even go out with my kids or buy them anything myself.

I have two years left to finish school, and I’m holding onto the hope that I can build a life for myself afterward. For now, living under his financial control is degrading and isolating. I just wanted to share my story because this situation feels unbearable, and I know others may relate to this kind of struggle.

My significant other of 6 years broke up with me this morning because of me relapsing so much. We live together, we built a life together, I don’t know where to go now.

The saying within AA is, you see someone, you see what they have, you want what they have. Well, I saw someone, I saw what she had, and I wanted what she had. She also had 12 years sobriety and was very much involved with AA, and matters pertaining to AA, such as events. Anyway, I asked her to be my sponsor and she agreed. However, no step work began and on several occasions, she invited me to AA events that she would be attending. So, these were things that she was going to be doing whether I participated or not and that felt as if I was just tagging along. At times, she would send me the Daily Reflections and I would respond. Initially, her responses were detailed, then they became basic and at times there were no responses at all. It didn’t appear to me that my relationship with her was working so I got another sponsor.

With this current sponsor, the second time that we were supposed to get together for step work, she forgot. Nevertheless, she did meet with me through zoom. The third time that we were supposed to get together for step work, I waited for her on zoom for 30 minutes. She later told me that she had gone to sleep.

At this point, I do not feel a connection with either of them.

I am feeling very discouraged with sponsorship. I feel that many say that they want to sponsor but once they begin to sponsor, they don’t take it very seriously.

I would like to know others experiences with sponsorship. Has it worked? Have you been disappointed?