r/alcoholism • u/gelidascension • 1d ago

Is this the start?

I guess the question is, how did alcoholism start for you?

I'll make my story short. I'm in my twenties with an history of depression/anxiety. I never was an heavy drinker but this year I've started the habit of drinking alone while very depressed. Only little/moderate amounts (1 or 2 beers and one drink), but I take medications AND Xanax so it doesn't take much to get me tipsy. I never crossed the line of getting full drunk, however much I wanted it. This was a everyday habit for at least 1 month. After that I got told to stop and went on a sober streak of 1 month. It wasn't easy but it was feasible.

Then one day I wake up with incredibly strong cravings. I was shaking. I ended up drinking the usual dose and started back the cycle. Now I do one or two days sober (resisting cravings) and then I drink again, not very much but alas. When I don't drink, I have nausea, headache and vertigo, my hands shake a bit (and people have noticed).

I don't understand if I am developing a problem or if I'm already IN the problem and neck deep in denial... Mainly I'm shocked that I'm having withdrawals with how little I drink. (confirmed it was withdrawals by my doctor). Where do I go from here?

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u/OwnLet4364 1d ago

Thank you for sharing your story—it’s brave to reflect on your habits and question them. Based on what you’ve described, it seems like you’re in the early stages of developing a problem with alcohol. Experiencing withdrawal symptoms, even with moderate drinking, is a clear warning sign that your body is becoming dependent.

Addressing the root cause of your drinking is also crucial, as alcohol often worsens depression and anxiety. A therapist can help you develop healthier coping mechanisms.

This is your chance to take control before things progress further. Start with small, manageable goals, like removing alcohol from your home and replacing the habit with something healthier, such as herbal tea or journaling. The fact that you’re aware of the issue shows incredible strength. You’ve quit for a month before, so you know it’s possible—take it one day at a time. You’re not alone, and help is available. 💛