r/SupermodelCats • u/clouddevourer currently catless • Jun 15 '19
PSA: please try to avoid mentioning your pets being ill/passing away in the post title
I occasionally receive comments/complaints about this issue, and I have decided to take action.
As someone who lost pets in the past, I understand both sides - the one that wants to seek comfort online and the one that just wants to see photos of pretty cats without thinking about pain or loss. The whole reason I created this subreddit was because I missed my cat so much, and while I don't mind reading about others losing their pets, I know that some people here do. So, after a lot of thinking, I came up with a compromise that I hope will work well.
From now on, please try not to mention your pets illness or passing away in the title. You are welcome to write that in the comments. In fact, it would be great if you could share your fond memories of the kitty there, or if your cat is sick, seek comfort. This gives you an opportunity to write a bit more about your situation and your kitty.
I think that this way, the people who just want to see the pictures, can do so without being burdened with sadness, but you can still share your story.
Please let me know what you think about this rule, perhaps you have a different idea that could be implemented? Please share in the comments under this post. Edit: or if you don't like the rule but fear being downvoted, please send me a PM.
Thank you for your understanding.
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u/Vulpixy Jun 15 '19
I feel like that is a very fair ruling. I like how it "protects" casual browsers like myself who are here as a sort of pick-me-up from the sad news. In addition, it allows the grieving owner more room to share their love with their kitty.
I wish a certain other major cat subreddit adopted this rule as well.
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u/Salt2Everything Apr 28 '22
Maybe dm those other mods and suggest it? I have no idea which one you mean, but I am sure that thousands of people would likely be grateful. I know the heartache and the loss too well, and every reminder just wrecks me. Be a secret mensch!
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u/yoyoadrienne Aug 01 '19
Though not officially a sub for grieving owners whose cats have passed away, r/seniorkitties is very open to posts about cats that have passed away and everyone is very supportive. I’m sure even if one’s beloved cat wasn’t elderly they would still accept a post from those looking for emotional support.
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u/clouddevourer currently catless Aug 01 '19
Thank you for sharing this! I'll keep that in mind and direct people there.
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u/yoyoadrienne Aug 01 '19
I actually just checked the rules and cats must be senior cats so no kittens but everything else I said still stands.
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u/Moonlit-Comet Jun 15 '19
I agree with this rule. I share my condolences with the ones who have lost their pets but not everyone has the mental capacity to stand hearing about losses all the time. To keep it in a more private section like the comments is respectful to all viewers and still allows pet owners to grieve.
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u/NoneIsAllMinusSome Dec 04 '19
Wow. This is how all moderaters should behave. You considered both sides, came up with an awesome solution and then asked for feedback.
I think its an excellent rule. Those of us who scroll quickly get to look at the cats without getting hit with unwanted emotional tolls.
And if one wants to share their story, they have the option to comment and talk to others about it.
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u/baepsaemv Oct 31 '19
Thank you so much for this. Seeing pictures of these beautiful kitties and knowing they have passed can be super painful, especially on a not so good day, or when looking for a pick-me-up in a happy sub like this. Having lost a few of my little cat babies before, I really empathise with wanting to share them with the world and and talk about their grieving and I think still being able to do that in the comments of the post is a good compromise.
Really good modding work!
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u/clouddevourer currently catless Oct 31 '19
Thank you for taking the time to write this! Unfortunately some users do get upset when I tell them their post has to be removed, so it is good to have positive feedback to know it's a good decision. Thank you!
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u/SithKittie Oct 24 '19
Thank you for this! I stumbled on this sub, it was mentioned in another one where there are a lot of RIP posts. One of my cats, who is only 6, is being treated for regenerative autoimmune hemolytic anemia (going on 2 years now). She’s had a few bad relapses and almost died this past summer, and every time I see one of those “RIPs” I just about lose it. I’ve lost cats several times myself in my 61 years, and it never gets any easier. I have complete & total sympathy for every one of them, but I just can’t read them right now.
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u/Salt2Everything Apr 28 '22
Sending healing vibes to your baby ♥️
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u/SithKittie Apr 28 '22
Thank you, she’s doing so much better now! My regular vet recommended an internal specialist, and he ran some more intensive blood tests. He put her on cyclosporine and it’s working real well, red cell count has been consistently on the high end of normal for a couple years. I’m so grateful!
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Nov 06 '21
Thank you. I'm very sensitive and I come to Reddit to unwind and relax, not think about someone's pet passing away. I can see both sides of the story, but at least a trigger warning would be nice.
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u/cragbabe Dec 11 '21
I also implemented this rule on all my subs after another cat sub had someone post a picture of the actual dead cat right after it died prompting a ban on rip posts from the mods there. I have had all positive feedback from users regarding it.
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u/thestarstastedelicio Jan 02 '22
Is there a good moderator award? You deserve a good moderator award. Thank you for being a kind and considerate good moderator.
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u/Biffingston Nov 25 '19
/r/cats allows this if you need a place to talk about it.
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u/TheDoomKitten Dec 11 '19
There’s also r/petloss where you can share your grief with others who have recently lost a pet.
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u/Sobriquet-acushla Oct 29 '21
This is a perfect compromise. You’re not banning people from talking about their late pets (the support they get here is important) but if someone just wants to scroll through to look at pretty cats, they don’t have to be bummed out.
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Jan 12 '22
I think this is a good compromise. It works for me on the 'i dont' want to get upset when i want a cute cat fix' side. Thank you.
I think if you're having a hard time and need to talk to someone, you can also try r/redditforgrownups, r/trueoffmychest, r/GriefSupport, or r/relationship_advice.
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u/val319 Feb 09 '22
Thank you. I left another sub because of it being ok to post pictures of passed animals. It’s difficult for me to deal with losing an animal i do not want to see your dead pet. It’s hard enough to see “I lost my guy today”, that crap is hard, but passed pictures are a complete no. It’s appreciated.
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u/pretzelal Dec 01 '19
The links redirecting people to other subs that allow it is helpful. But I know what you mean. I check out /r/cats often although it can be painful. But I feel so bad for them that I sometimes think I can say something comforting.
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u/ajaxxumi Apr 19 '22
Thank you for this, just lost my sweet little ginger kitty a few months ago and I'm still grieving him 💔
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u/savoy_brown73 Aug 08 '22
My 18&1/2yr old Shadow crossed the Rainbow 🌈 Bridge on May 13th. His last few weeks, he was getting very tired.
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u/clouddevourer currently catless Aug 09 '22
He's no longer in pain and can play just like when he was a little kitty. He misses you so he'll visit you in your dreams sometimes ❤️
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u/peachesncrmmm Feb 10 '22
Thank you for this. I care so much about the cats and their owners but Im one of the people who made a whole account as just a means of “eyebleach” for when I’m extra depressed so I think something like this is very thoughtful for all parties
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Aug 21 '22
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u/clouddevourer currently catless Aug 22 '22
I'm so sorry for your loss. The pain will fade with time and you'll be able to remember the good moments you shared with her and smile.
And thank you for the words of support, many people get upset by this rule and I'm not happy to enforce it, so it's good to know some agree with me.
Oh, and you can totally post a pic of Lola, just keep the post title non-descriptive and write the backstory in a comment under the post instead.
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u/No-Post-7011 Nov 20 '22
I appreciate this rule. I always feel like an asshole because I quickly scroll. I have OCD & I often suffer from obsessive thoughts/rumination about my fur babies who have passed on.
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u/JaynAlexndr Nov 30 '22
Shoot I just created a post not having seen this. My apologies I can edit it if you’d like
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u/clouddevourer currently catless Nov 30 '22 edited Nov 30 '22
If you could please delete it and post again with a different title, that would be great. Unfortunately titles cannot be edited
Edit: I can see that it was removed by the automoderator, probably due to the wording in the title, so it never showed upon the subreddit in the first place, please just post your kitty again with a different title and share your story in the comments, thank you ❤️
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u/ColorMeBlue4 Feb 24 '23
Just another idea- you could create a special thread a 2 or 3 times a week for those seeking comfort. Then hopefully they are sure to get the comfort they need from those who are able to give it.
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u/CoCoMaloEngl Feb 25 '23
I just learned of this subReddit, and I totally approve of this rule and will happily follow it. I have some lovely pictures of cats I’ve been lucky enough to have in my life that are no longer living, and hope it’s alright if I share a few. In the meanwhile, I’ll share one of my rather handsome 5-month-old boy, after I look around and see what kinds of pics people want to see here.
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u/1diotSandwich Jan 07 '24
This is a fantastic idea, I wish r/cats would adopt. My tear ducts become sore from scrolling that sub too long lol.
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Dec 15 '21
I'm so glad you mention this. Maybe these particular people should come up with a cat memorial sub of their own, but it's right up there with "Name my cat" "What breed is this cat?" and "Is my cat ugly?".
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u/-Pruples- Mar 20 '24
Better option is to follow r/cats lead and put a button in the right side column menu to 'exclude mourning posts' or something like that, where you can click it and not see any posts with the mourning or loss or w/e flair unless you click it again. u/clouddevourer
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u/ReasonableFig2111 Mar 26 '24
This one has the disturbing details in the title. I feel terrible for the OP, but I don't need to be scrolling then suddenly confronted with my biggest fear.
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u/melissaplexy May 16 '24
If someone comments on my pic that their pet passed away, I’m not going to ignore them. I empathize with their pain and suggest filling the void with something to care for. That’s the nurse in me.
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u/trclady Oct 20 '24
I'm fine with it either way. It's my choice to read or not read about what's happened to the kitties. But this sounds like a reasonable compromise to me for those who don't like it.
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Aug 14 '22
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u/clouddevourer currently catless Aug 14 '22
Hi, not sure if you're a bot or you commented on the wrong post by accident but either way I'm removing your comment
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Sep 21 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/clouddevourer currently catless Sep 21 '22
Idk what the comment is about so I'm removing it, sorry
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u/ReadtheReds Sep 21 '22
She's not glaring. She's saying, "That's right, get it on record - I know how good I am".
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Nov 20 '22
Regarding any loss, Illness, online is not the place to go. Personally, I feel more upset and alone when reading posts that are upsetting. Then I Google everything. Next thing I know, I have tapeworms, fleas, ticks, I’m coughing up fur balls. It’s all downhill from there. Post happy, people!!!
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u/clouddevourer currently catless Nov 21 '22
Well, some people don't have anyone but the online community to share their grief with, and not sharing it with anyone can be very painful, so I understand why people feel the need to post mourning & illness posts. However, I also understand that some people feel bad being exposed to these so I wanted them to have a way to browse safely.
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Nov 21 '22
Trust me, friend. I know what its like not to have anyone. This has been my life for years and literally fighting to live. And doing it alone. With people who wish I would go away. I speak from personal experience about online communities. I went on a few, asked for help and was told to deal with it alone. Reason I got a kitty was to heal. Your point is valid and much respect for voicing it. There is always a place for something/someone and knowing you have that..is priceless.
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u/EliRaerocks Jan 01 '23
I had a cat for 3 years! He was the sweetest! I had to take him to a shelter because I was getting ready to be homeless! I still cry but seeing everybody’s pictures of their cats makes me feel somewhat better. I don’t knock if I’ll ever have another but I certainly hope so! I do know tho that it will only happen if I’m absent sure I won’t have to go through that again! I know certainty is impossible so …
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u/aguachica35 Apr 18 '23
Glad this is popping up again after 4 years. I love this thread and other cat threads as well but being bombarded with sad stories really affects me as a pet lover. I've lost three special animals so know the pain. This thread in particular is here for us to celebrate our babies and share the fun memories.
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u/Jdorr420 Jun 16 '23
Yup my baby girl is 17 this year and I already am bothered by how much I think about the day I am going to lose her I really don’t think I’ll be able to go on I dealt with death more than I can count when it comes to people but I never lost a pet before when my baby goes she will be the first pet I not only ever had but also first pet I lost and I can’t think about it
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u/Hodgej1 Jun 21 '23
I just adopted my 2 grand-cats so and have been checking out several other cat subs looking to join a couple of good ones . One thing that I noticed immediately is that reading about pets passing away was real downer when enjoying all the pics. I'm glad I found this sub.
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u/honeyk101 Jun 29 '23
omg please stop with the sick, dying & passed away kitties. it's not fair to be hit with that when unexpected. post it in an appropriate thread
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u/RecentNewReddi Feb 17 '24
I have a general question- I messaged the mod and didn’t get a reply. I want to post some pictures of my cat, but the mid said my post karma is too low. 🤷🏻♀️. I don’t usually post on Reddit, but I comment a lot. How can I participate in this community? Thanks in advance, guys!
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u/Weak-Entertainer-856 Feb 25 '24
Kitties deserve the world. We should all be grateful and happy that we are blessed enough to be owned by a kitty.
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u/CallMeAl_ Jun 15 '19
I appreciate this rule, thank you. I am so sorry for everyone’s losses and I love your animals so much that I get sick to my stomach seeing they have passed and think about my old boy’s limited time. I will always give them an updoot and apologize for being one of the sensitive ones. Although I did not send a message about it, I understand those who did.