[Request] 1 , 2yo , Luke , South Carolina

[u/pokchop92]

Hi Santas! I'm requesting for my sweet 2 year old son, Luke. He's the strongest & most inspiring person I know & he makes me want to keep choosing to be better everyday.

Luke is a little musician. Music was his very first language; it was the only thing he'd respond to in the NICU to get him to eat. He was born almost a lb & a half & spent his first 105 days in the NICU on oxygen support & he got through so much. Now he's a perfect & mostly healthy little agent of chaos. He's autistic & mostly nonverbal (except for , "puppy , choo choo , ride , go , ball , & yellow" - he also knows how to quack & Moo & he yelled "HOHOHO" in Santa's face when he met him the other day) but he signs & gestures very efficiently. He also sings very well & loves mimicking sounds he finds interesting. He has perfect pitch.

He loves guitars & pianos. He has a collection of tiny guitars for each occasion (car, bed, outside, the one he can tune, the one with all the colors...) & he can figure out simple melodies on the piano by ear (twinkle twinkle, little lamb, Mario noises). I know that sounds crazy but other people have noticed too, unprompted! He's got a fantastic taste in music; mostly soul & R&B vibes. But he's also batty for Elmo & Mrs Rachel. So, he's flexible. He gets onto you if you talk over his songs!

He's been getting very into things that go. Cars, Trucks, bikes, tractors. He's taken a real liking to trains. They go, make fun noises, & have bass. It's so fun seeing him light up & make noises of the vehicles he sees!

He loves learning & figuring out new things. & he's so smart & silly & cheeky! He'll sign something in, I swear, a sarcastic way & then side eye you & cut you the half-grin. I can't even. Keeps me on my toes.

He's been through so much. Especially in the last few months. Like has been... very blustery. We were displaced by Hurricane Helene at the end of September. We were out of power for a few weeks & had to spend everything we had & could get on hotel & food. & we lost so much. FEMA is overloaded & doesn't seem to share my urgency for Christmas. Which I totally get. But it all makes my belly hurt. Add to that, he suddenly developed a severe allergy to one of his 3 safe foods (he has ARFID & a severe oral aversion from his extended time in the vent as a baby. He will only tolerate liquids or purees in his mouth or he'll throw up & stop eating) while we were at the hotel & now only trusts one. One thing he's willing to eat. Ever. I'm not sure how to convince him that it's OK now. But he's been such a trooper. He's not able to articulate some of his clearly more complex feelings, though. He's been signing "I'm sorry" before he asks to do anything. I guess I've apologized to him & had to say no a lot lately. That also makes my belly hurt. He doesn't understand, but he's such a good boy. I don't want him to think for a second that anything with the storm & losing his stuff or how sick his food made him, had anything to do with his behavior or doing something wrong. He's actually been so very amazingly good in spite of the upheaval. I wish I could give him a whole train of ducks & puppies playing guitars for how amazing he is.

I'm so sorry for how late this request is. It was very tough for me to make & I've been trying to write this out since last night. I'm not very good at this & I have so much to say about him & why he deserves so much more than I can give him this year. I know it's long. Thank you for reading & for helping make Christmas magical. Bless y'all!

https://www.amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2F5Z4T94RRJLL?ref_=wl_share

https://imgur.com/a/OAEqzCG

[u/pokchop92]

Oh yay, thank you so much! He loves books so much & it's our favorite room in the thrift store, even before the toy room!! He loves pointing to the words he knows, & then the corresponding pictures. He's so smart & knows so many words! Even though he won't say most of them lol. His favorite music videos are the lyric videos & he won't watch any movies without captions lol.

That's so funny about the name! What a small internet 🤣

& I'm adding you to the top of the guestlist!

[u/School_House_Rock → u/pokchop92]

A friend in mine son didn't speak until he was 3 and when he decided to, he was speaking in full sentences. He had the knowledge, he just chose not to talk (he is now 32, married 2 gorgeous kiddos) - they would dx him as selective mutism now, but in the early 90s it wasn't a thing

You might find some success in the Deaf community - it all depends on the group, some are very much sticklers that you have to be Deaf, while others are happy to have individuals who sign.

The subreddit is really great and may provide some ideas on how to help him convey emotions and other expressions - he already has a grasp of adding facial expressions to his signs (which is just adorable) to help express the nuance of the sign

Subreddit name is coming - have to check for official name....

r/deaf

[u/pokchop92 → u/School_House_Rock]

Yeah, I fully expect that of him tbh. It's what he did with walking. He showed us he could, but found crawling much more efficient for a very long time. Then, we went to a Halloween carnival & he hated the hay on his hands, but wanted to get to the other side to play, so what did he do? Stood on up & toddled on over like he'd been doing it his whole life.

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll go follow them now! In my experience, the deaf/HoH community have been super welcoming to our autistic community, & especially the kiddos! We actually got connected with a deaf kids group through the NICU, who have been super helpful with accommodating signs for his dexterity & development level.

It's actually really sweet to see some of his signs. He does everything palm facing himself, so he looks like he's waving to himself lol. Any sign over an open palm (like help, again, or stop) he'll instead do it vertically like clapping. So "help" is clapping with a thumbs up, & again is clapping with one closed fist. & he'll make up signs, like "uh-oh" is splayed fingers then "o" & he mouths so I know that's specifically what he's saying lol. & lately I think he's been pulling some sign-glish bc when you say his name, he'll do "L" but make the "K" sounds worth his mouth! It's so cool & crazy to see how smart he is to put that together!

Sign was actually really important to me, even before it was apparent that he'd be less (or slower) verbal. I'm also autistic & can't vocalize when I'm overstimulated, so I really wanted to make sure he had a few ways to express his needs. I feel like there's a lot of stigma with nonverbal children on the spectrum bc of miscommunication. Luke would probably be a lot more prone to meltdown from frustration if he didn't have tools like sign to ameliorate that overstimulation before it becomes full overwhelm. He doesn't always recieve info verbally if there are too many other things going on, but he can focus on a sign. So when I see he's getting ruffled, I can sign to "stop, breathe, make a smart choice" & he'll start finger counting (or sometimes even get caught on "breathe" bc he'll pretend to blow out his candles & get silly)

Sorry for the novel; I don't get to talk to adults often, & my baby is obviously my special interest so I could talk about him forever. Plus, I was also responding to your other comment about sign lol.

Here's more pictures. Bc I just have so many.

https://imgur.com/a/d2qwc78

[u/School_House_Rock → u/pokchop92]

I am so proud of you! You are an amazing mom and it shows in Luke's bright smile!

If you want an adult to connect with, would love to! I think you two are wicked awesome!!

[u/pokchop92 → u/School_House_Rock]

I'm so sorry for the delayed response! Full disclosure: your comment made me feel lots of big feelings & I had to craft it out (made a mailbox). I really appreciate that more than you might realize. But I lack the amount of craft supplies needed to process that into words that would appropriately convey that.

So... here's a picture of my mailbox of gratitudemailbox. It's a file cabinet that I painted & taped cardboard that I wrapped in plastic Tablecloths (is calling for rain) to & the stop sign & postal sign is several gift bags & boxes Frankensteined together & wrapped in plastic wrap & then i put some lights in it. & some dollar store decorations on top of a cooler lol. I had some extra chips left from his birthday party that i needed gone, & a lotion sampler pack I won in a white elephant contest at my mom's work. Boom. Ready for Santa.

[u/School_House_Rock → u/pokchop92]

That is incredible - seriously WOW