r/Purpose Oct 17 '20

Insight READ FIRST - A message to all advertisers

17 Upvotes

Dear advertisers and life purpose coaches,

it seems you are looking at this from a personal perspective.

The purpose of this subreddit is to support others by answering their "questions" and providing them with relevant URLs for deeper understanding ("insights").

It seems you are offering your insights with the expectation of getting something in return - as in a trade. I understand the economical reasons for this, but do not feel it is appropriate in the context of this subreddit.

This subreddit is not a mine for leads.

It is a place to support others and yourself to receive life-changing answers to tough questions that are really important to people.

If you agree to interact with this subreddit in the fashion I just described, then I really don't mind you advertising for yourself. That's not what this is about. It's about growing a place on Reddit where people feel safe and genuinely taken care of.

"Consider providing value first - without the expectation of getting something in return - before you advertise for yourself."

If something (rules, etc.) is unclear, or if you have additional questions, please send a message to the moderator as I am truly interested on your take on this. Someone who dedicates their time towards guiding others to the discovery of their life purpose is a very honorable and respectful thing to be doing.

Personally, I'm impressed.

Soul Iq

r/Purpose Moderator


r/Purpose Mar 24 '22

Do You Want To Disable URLs?

4 Upvotes

In an initiative to increase the quality of r/Purpose posts, adding URLs to posts and comments will be disabled after this poll ends in 7 days.

Do you agree?

4 votes, Mar 31 '22
1 Yes
3 No

r/Purpose 9d ago

Trouble connecting

2 Upvotes

All I am ever doing is fearing what is next, what do I have to do in the nest 5 minutes, what do I have to do later? I'm never in tje present I am always anxious At work I am on auto pilot and power through everything and get home and re think every interaction and conversation I had with people an analysis and over analyse the whole day I feel like someone is always judging me and I'm not meeting the standard, or I'm being observed as a lower cretin I feel like the moment i let myself enjoy anything, the whole thing is gunna stop and I'm gonna get in trouble I don't know whatvthat means, thats the feeling that i have I have alot of trouble communicating my feelings because I feel like I am an inconvenience, I mask very highly that I am in control, to be honest people often seek my advice, and praise me, but I don't feel like I'm that person All I want to do, it is to let go, live in the moment, and be happy, but I can't find what's stopping me and why I just want to punish myself I don't socialise, and I rarely go anywhere other than to work, I am in a constant state of fear and panic


r/Purpose 10d ago

It's possible we have a higher purpose. So why do we act as if we certainly don't?

2 Upvotes

Even though a skin cell has a higher purpose (contributing to the body), it doesn't know it. We don't know if we have a higher purpose, but if we have one we have the possibility of finding it. This may be why we have consciousness and rational capabilities. I wrote more about this in my post:

https://heatdeathandtaxes.substack.com/p/find_purposeexe?r=2k3t04

I would love to hear your thoughts on it!


r/Purpose 17d ago

Why are we living?

12 Upvotes

I used to get this question a lot since my childhood. But nowadays this question is almost always there in my mind. - Why are we living?

And as I grew old (33F) I realised almost no one wants to make any genuine connection at home or at work. At home, even parents are narcissistic and only love you if they have something to gain from it. Siblings don't value you or need you.

Even life partners today don't have a proper genuine relationship. Most of the time it's just a showoff.

Friends also have something or the other going on in their families so they don't have time for each other. And even in friendship, there is not much support. Most of the time it is superficial (maybe because of digital connection).

Most of the work colleagues have office politics going around. You cannot trust anyone. Everyone cares about them and no one cares about the larger good of the team, company, etc.

We have stopped meeting and building relationships with neighbours. Even if there are some then it's mostly to show off (money, education, spouse, etc.). And it all seems so fake.

Why are we even living if we cannot build genuine connections and relationships with other humans?

Loneliness doesn't come from not having company, it comes from not having connections.

Today everywhere and especially in big cities number of people per square foot area is much higher than in old times but we are much farther than others.

Why are we living like this? Does no one feel that this is not ok and needs to change?


r/Purpose 21d ago

A lack of purpose

4 Upvotes

Male, 23, UK

Have been in and out of the self-improvement space for a few years now. A recent realisation is that I truly have no purpose. That is the most important reason for having not achieved much in any single direction. It also seems to be the cause of suffering through so many mental health symptoms.

A goal that I'd like to work towards is having a purpose-built business that solves a common problem for a large number of people. Have also been involved in a fair number of what people would label as money grabs – the services and goods were provided, but there was just no longevity.

How does one find their purpose?


r/Purpose 23d ago

Am i missing something?

2 Upvotes

Hey together,

this is my first post on reddit, maybe you can give me some tips or even judge on my life.

I am feeling quite empty these days and i don't really know why. Here is my situation:

I am almost 28 years old. I am together with my beautiful girlfriend for over 9 years now and i am planning to ask her to marry me next year. I moved out to a bigger city to study after graduation and now i returned back home living in an house with my dog and girlfriend. I still see the same friends from childhood and we always have fun. I work in the county administration close my home town and i am getting paid over average. I have over 60K € as a financial reserve and currently investing to make more of it. In my free time i like to do different sports and be social but also like to be at home gaming, reading, meditating and snuggling with dog and girlfriend.

Looking at my life from outside, it is great and i feel bad about complaining. But when i have no tasks at work or at home i just feel super useless, as if don't have any purpose in life. No matter what is going on in my life, i always falls back into negative phases.

What is your opinion on that?


r/Purpose 25d ago

some thoughts I have I’m not scared sharing I guess. NSFW

5 Upvotes

is this just another example of a stim rant or are some points valid?

obviously, everything did not come from me originally but it’s mostly my thoughts, some things I’ve heard that has touched me & never left my mind. Most of it is coming from how I think but can’t act out in words irl. No one will probably read, anyway I got all Es at school so I woke up looked at it and felt pretty good

I’m going through a mental health crisis and I don’t know how to express my feelings and thoughts so I spent 11 hours writing about how my mind works and I want you to read it. Please don’t think I’m crazy. I just can’t get words out with my mind

Suicide carried off many; drink and the devil took care of the rest. We’re all theory and no action.

It’s time to break the cycle of repeated mistakes and pain - taking action is my only hope.

although it will seem difficult, the reward will be great.

We are the authors of ourselves.

I want to see you, I want you to see me, I don’t want to be an ant - you know, I mean we go through life with our antennas bouncing off of one another, continuously on ant autopilot with nothing really human required of us. Stop. Go. Walk here. Drive there. All action basically for survival. I want real human moments. I want to see you. I want you to see me. I don't want to be an ant, you know?

I've been kind of on zombie auto-pilot lately, I don't feel like an ant in my head, but I guess I probably look like one. It's kind of like D.H. Lawrence had this idea of two people meeting on a road. And instead of just passing and glancing away, they decide to accept what he calls "the confrontation between their souls." My interpretation of this would be meeting of two soul mates interwoven by .. ‘fate, destiny, divine intervention..?) I refuse to believe life has no meaning. Purpose is beautiful I’ve got the benefit in this reality of a consistent perspective. What is your consistent perspective?

It's mostly just me dealing with a lot of people who are exposing me to information and ideas that seem vaguely familiar, but, at the same time, it's all very alien to me. I'm not in an objective, rational world. Like I've been flying around high on multiple substances for years.. This is the most in myself and in my thoughts that I've been so far; introspectively learning in my mind is hard. I’m trying. I don't know it’s weird too, because it's not like a fixed state, it's more like this whole spectrum of awareness.

We seem to think we're so limited by the world and the confines, but we're really just creating them.

You keep trying to figure it out, but it seems like now that you know that what you're doing is dreaming, you can do whatever you want to. Wake up

You're dreaming, but you're awake. - You have so many options, and that's what life is about. Opportunities come and go, you have one more good one left until it’s too late.

I would rather participate at life then write a hundred stories - Thomas Mann

You cannot understand life and live life simultaneously; it’s flowing always. a life well lived is a life worth living. isolation is prison, connection is key.

Love your loved ones.

It’s short. But it’s beautiful and it’s awful, life’s a balance and it always will be. Why do they say history repeats itself? At one point in this world - earth was on hell over a 100 years ago. We live a blessed life today. The same principles apply to how lite is experienced to every one of us, ups & downs, constantly meeting in the middle.

People aren’t always fortunate to experience the good side of the ‘balance’ when they’re physically here, i just pray whoever is out there; whoever ‘made’ us or whatever happens after death that when we leave this earth; don’t make us suffer if you didn’t let us enjoy life. The point I’m making - show kindness ro strangers & be compassionate to strangers. Everyone deserves a second chance at life.


r/Purpose 25d ago

Why even try?

1 Upvotes

Since life inherently have no purpose why even try? Why even make an effort? Fact is no cares what you do, there is no purpose anyway. Why even try? Why not just sit and play counterstrike all day? It doesn’t matter anyway ….


r/Purpose Nov 22 '24

Looking for interesting topics

2 Upvotes

Hi,

I recently got back to work with Robert Green's book “Mastery”. One of the sub-points to find my “life's task” is to reflect on topics that interest me, the problem is that I am interested in really few things. I would like to work on this and find topics, things that can help me find or show me the way. Therefore, I would like to ask you to write what topics you are interested in, and if you have, I would also like to ask you for podcasts, etc. on the topic.

Thank you in advance


r/Purpose Nov 21 '24

This is why you feel lost lately

17 Upvotes

I’ve noticed that the number of posts asking for a life direction has increased. People are more lost not just on social media but also in general.

A few years ago, I was in the same situation. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I didn’t. Since the beginning, I have followed money instead of my dreams. When you follow the money, you are exposed to infinite ways to get it, and that’s the problem. It makes you do shallow work because money is the result and not the destination of a well-planned purpose. When you chase your purpose, you narrow down your vision, eliminating all distractions.

The problem is that people nowadays outsource their power to choose what they want. They’re influenced by society’s purpose, which is completely different from their purpose, resulting in frustration. We don’t learn how to find our purpose in school, and sometimes, we’re even discouraged from pursuing it. We don’t have intention.

So, I encourage you to find something that makes you wake up motivated and with passion. The first step is to ask yourself what you want, and the rest will connect by itself. Stop thinking that you still need something outside to help you. You only need you!


r/Purpose Nov 20 '24

Quit my job and left the country

1 Upvotes
Hello everybody.
I got a degree and for 17 years I worked and felt miserable with no joy at work. I resigned a few weeks ago, I'm trying to discover who I am without all that discomfort. I look in the mirror and feel like I don't know who I am. Any tips and shares? I would like to read you and exchange ideas.

r/Purpose Nov 11 '24

I don't know myself

3 Upvotes

Bro I don't understand. I've tried things and I'm always bad st them, I crave to be good at them then succumb to laziness. For wrestling I don't even know why I'm doing it other than the fact that I want to be ambitious about SOMWTHIBG. Everyone else always has their dream so clear. So apparent to them it pisses me off. Why can't I have that clarity? Why can't I know what I'm destined for? I don't wanna live an average life where I'm just like the rest. I wanna be something great. But what? I don't know. I wanna be determined about something. I wanna be ambitious about something. Passionate about it to the point where nothing matters but that something. I don't even know what I want anymore. I know you say my "hunger is valuable" but it's so weak to the point where I'm probably gonna forget about this in liek 2 days. It's insufferable thinking about how I can go about doing nothing, yet then feel like I'm suffering from being average. How can I crave greatness, and ambition, when I myself cower in the face of adversity? Every time I've been given a chance to win, I cower. I did track back In grade 9, and I was so afraid of the races I faked being sick or in pain. And then succumbed to sadness and failure when I realized I lost my chance. But why. Why me? Why is my life like this? I've never won anything in my entire life. No medals, no awards, no appreciations, nothing. And the times I did face my fear and try, I lost and didn't even learn anything. I just succumbed to the pain of failure. People always say regret hurts more than failure but to me, they hurt the same.


r/Purpose Nov 11 '24

How a Yoga Instructor Showed Me the Power of Passion (And Changed My Life Forever)

1 Upvotes

https://javinmichael.substack.com/p/when-passion-finds-you

The first time I truly saw passion, I was in a place I could have never imagined—a yoga studio in Brooklyn with a girl I barely knew.

How did I get here? I don't know shit about yoga. I hardly even stretch after the gym, and now I'm about to spend an hour failing to touch my toes in an overheated room. What have I gotten myself into?

It was a small, beautifully decorated studio with about a dozen people standing around—few of them talking to each other. In the corner of the room, there were these strange little seats that no one was using until I parked my butt in it. The girl I came with didn't join me in my antisocial pursuits. She gave a big hug to the woman working the counter and immediately turned her attention to the patrons in the room.

The first person's face lit up at the sight of her. She congratulated her on teaching her first commissioned class with the studio. That's why I was there; I wanted to support her during this milestone. Support she didn't need because another three people congratulated her in fewer minutes. She's a natural with people.

I watched in awe as her ponytail bounced with every enthusiastic head motion. Going from helping people sign in to introducing herself to strangers, she seems to glide gracefully through the room as if on rollerblades. At that moment, I realized she wasn't just a teacher—it was about her gift for making people feel seen.

Abbey and I were very different. I could hardly bring myself to spark a conversation with the woman who signed me, but she lit the room on fire.

While I fiddled with my phone in the corner, Abbey seemed to float through the room, connecting with everyone as if she'd known them for years. It was like watching someone who speaks a language fluently, while I could barely manage a 'hello.'

As I watched her, I realized this was more than just a yoga studio for her—it was her community.

Watching Abbey in her element, I couldn't help but wonder: what drives someone to light up a room this way? I understand why you'd want passion in a relationship or your fruit. But everyone harps on about how you must follow your passion for work. I never believed in that, but I started to question if I had been missing something all along.

I love working with my hands, but I took up commercial carpentry because I was good at it, and it paid well, not because of my love of the craft. It took me finding someone genuinely passionate about what they do to appreciate why it's so valuable to pursue our passions.

Passion is Contagious

When you pursue what you love, you ignite a spark that can inspire others to do the same. Passion is not just a feeling but a powerful force that can draw people in and empower them to chase their own dreams.

My passion for sharing ideas led me here to write to you. It all started two years ago in that relationship. Her fearless pursuit of what she loved gave me the push I needed to face my fears. Seeing Abbey dedicate herself to her craft made me believe I could do the same with writing.

As Abbey would tell you, I am a very passionate debater. I've always loved trying to get to the bottom of things through conversation. That enthusiasm for discourse naturally led me to desire an online community where I could engage with others who share the same inclination.

Instead of trying to start my own handyman business(which was purely pragmatic), I started creating content online to create a community for myself. That's when the fear crept in.

Passion is Jet Fuel

Who knew that my social anxiety—which kept me from talking to girls for nearly a decade—would lead to a fear of publishing my ideas. In hindsight, it's a rather obvious extension of anxiety, but I didn't make that connection at the time. I discovered how serious my social problem was when I left high school with only one true friend and zero relationships.

The following year, I did intense research to figure out how to remedy my situation. I quickly found a solution, but it took years to implement. The same solution would help me solve my online publishing anxiety. But with passion behind me, I overcame this publishing hurdle in half the time.

What was the solution? All fear can be cured through the simple practice of exposure therapy. By voluntarily putting ourselves in increasingly uncomfortable situations, our brains will adapt because they have the necessary data to know that there is nothing to fear. Substack is my exposure therapy, and I've grown to love writing to you.

And that's the beauty of passion—it doesn't just help you conquer fear; it propels you forward at a pace you didn't think was possible. When you're passionate about something, the fear becomes just another obstacle to push through, not a roadblock. Each post and online interaction becomes less about overcoming fear and more about the thrill of sharing your ideas, connecting with like-minded people, and creating something meaningful. Passion turns what was once terrifying into an exhilarating journey of growth and discovery.

Passion is the Key to Success

I feel sick writing this paragraph header. I used to vehemently disagree with the notion that you had to be passionate about something to be successful. Now I'm not so sure. While you can make a name for yourself at a job you're not passionate about, you will always be out-competed by an intrinsically driven person. As I stated before, passion will help you blast through roadblocks that others need discipline to overcome. And people will see your passion and be inspired to help you reach your goals. Success isn't just an outcome; it's a byproduct of passionate pursuits.

As I stepped out of that heated room, drenched in sweat and a little sore, I felt lighter—but not because I'd finally loosened my hamstrings. Abbey had shown me something far more flexible than my body—she'd expanded my understanding of what it means to live with purpose.

Happy Birthday, Abbey. Thank you for showing me what it means to truly care about your work and inspiring me to find that same fire in my life.

I still can't touch my toes, but I walked out of that studio with something more valuable than flexibility: a new understanding of what it means to live with purpose. Turns out, maybe passion really is the key to lasting success.


r/Purpose Nov 05 '24

23 and clueless

3 Upvotes

I (M23) graduated high school in 2020. Ive worked an array of odd jobs: restaurant, bar, cashier, at a machine shop, at a university when I briefly attended, sales ( i was really bad, felt weird to try and convince people to buy something they dont need) now a plumbing office. I am short and scrawny so I dont think Id be able to do trades. I got my associates last December, and went to university this spring. It wasn’t really for me, I also thought it was expensive. Looking at my options now I don’t know what Id do moving forward. I have no real passions, i work from 7-5 and after work all i really do is eat and shower and sleep. Ive had 2 girlfriends in the past, but they’ve both ended mostly because of me. I dont know how to function. I get with a girl thinking it will motivate me, and it does momentarily but then I guess I get too attached and girls dont like that. I really dont know what to do with myself, I need to keep working so I can pay bills and pay off my debts (drowning in it). Any words of encouragement will help. Thank you


r/Purpose Nov 05 '24

The Dilemma of Moving Forward Despite Doubts

1 Upvotes

An individual faces a mental conflict, torn between two opposing lines of thought, each strongly influencing their ability to make decisions for the future.

On one hand, there is a voice encouraging growth, rooted in the wisdom of self-help books and positive advice from others. This side advocates for trying new things, accepting that mistakes may happen along the way but that these are valuable learning experiences. It suggests that with proper planning and effort, one should continually strive forward, trusting in the journey and one’s ability to improve.

On the other hand, a persistent fear of failure holds them back. This voice is shaped by past experiences, which have led to self-doubt and apprehension. It warns that attempting something new may not just lead to failure but could result in deep embarrassment, damaging their reputation among family and friends. Loss of self-respect and maybe even physical harm adds to the hesitation, making the prospect of taking any action feel daunting and risky.

The individual recognizes that action is necessary to move forward in life, yet the conflicting voices create a paralysis of indecision. They worry that without change, their current state will deteriorate over time. However, the fear of a possible downfall if they act leaves them equally immobilized. How can one navigate such opposing thoughts to make progress?


r/Purpose Nov 02 '24

42M with no Purpose

3 Upvotes

Let me start by saying that I'm a piece of shit. Now that that's out of the way - Married 10 years, two little boys (7.5, 6). Gainfully employed. Family, friends, or casual onlookers would say I've got it made. I want none of it.

I've been working with a psychologist/career coach for the last four months to try and come up with a personal statement of purpose, and my page is still blank.

One question I ran across: if there were no limits in life, how would you like to see yourself 10 years from now? My answer: alone in the wilderness fighting for my own survival. Like Castaway style, but without a Wilson, for the remainder of my life.

I feel like I'm crushed by responsibilites, both personally and professionally, and I provide for others with minimal ability to meet any of my own needs. I've given up all my hobbies. Diet is trash, no exercise. I've put on over 30lb in the last year. Two nights a week the wife and kids are gone for classes, and I sit at home in silence and do nothing. It's the best part of my week. I don't want to be at work, and I don't want to be at home (unless I'm alone).

I've also been under the care of a psychiatrist for the last 2 months doing ketamine treatments for low mood, but I feel like I'm sliding (if not there already) into full blown depression.

Long term, I feel like my kids would be better off, psychologically, if I just left, so they didn't have to witness this spiral on a day to day basis.

I have no guiding purpose, though, it's not for lack of trying.

I don't want to be dead, I just want to be left alone.

I don't know how to find a purpose while I'm stuck in this rut.


r/Purpose Oct 31 '24

Give me something to do

1 Upvotes

Yeah uh what the title says idk everything is meaningless so please give me a goal or something


r/Purpose Oct 09 '24

Purpose through a Story

0 Upvotes

Hi everyone, this is my first post so I am just throwing something out there. In a paragraph can you tell me about a time in your past where you felt most alive and how did that relate or enhance your purpose in life.

For example, the day(s) my kiddos were born. The connection I felt to my wife, God, my kids, the Earth, my community. It seemed to encompass all the facets of my life in a single moment. I have my multiple layers of purpose in my life, but the birth of my kids highlighted the love that I share amongst all these things and therefore love being at the heart of my purpose.

Thank you all!


r/Purpose Oct 01 '24

City

2 Upvotes

Don't Fw someone money because you don't know what will happen to you everyday is a blessing and a live lesson don't let it get over your head it's better to be yourself than be liked by everyone else.


r/Purpose Sep 23 '24

From Lost Generalist to a Motivating Career Vision

11 Upvotes

A while ago, I felt completely lost in my career. As a generalist with countless interests, I was constantly pulled in different directions. I could see myself thriving in various roles, but committing to one path felt suffocating. My creativity sparked endless ideas, but it also led to "shiny object syndrome," resulting in career jumps and a lot of unfinished projects.

For a long time, I struggled with the desire to make an impact while wanting mastery. Yet, my diverse passions made it hard to focus and stay consistent. It was frustrating not to have a clear path that aligned with my potential and brought me joy and success.

The pain of this struggle got so deep that I realized I needed to change. I started reading tons of career and self-improvement books and doing some serious reflection. Here are the three key things that helped me the most:

  1. I discovered what energizes me. I started an energy log, making it a daily habit to jot down three things that energized me the most.
  2. I dissected my interests. I took time to understand what specifically attracted me to each passion.
  3. I defined my ideal lifestyle. I envisioned what I wanted from life beyond just work, which clarified my priorities.

These insights allowed me to create a personal vision that narrowed down my choices. One of the biggest issues I faced was having too many options, leading to choice overload. But by clearly defining what I want most, saying "no" to everything else became intuitive and natural.

What truly made the difference was my ability to define that personal vision—what I genuinely want. This motivation feels entirely different and much more meaningful. It gives me purpose.

A few months into this process, I'm happy to say that thinking about my ideal life and work vision energizes me like nothing else. I find myself reflecting on it while I'm at the gym, which drives me to push harder. It motivates me to wake up early and gives me the courage to tackle challenges outside my comfort zone.

While I can’t say this motivation will last forever, I can confirm that it has fueled me for several months now.

I post this in the hopes that other fellow generalists find some hope and guidance, as that is what I would have wished for a few years back.


r/Purpose Sep 17 '24

Food, Religious, and Purpose Struggles- Seeking Advice

2 Upvotes

“I have struggled with my relationship with food and binging/restricting since middle school. It has been and it still is a weekly, daily thing- with food predominately on my mind in all situations. It’s marked events in my life and a continual burden and thought I still have not conquered or learned how to manage (and I think the big thing is, I don’t know how to identify and manage my emotions many times). Presently, I literally took off work today and haven’t joined the collective yet because of the “fuck it all” mentality. I restricted to look good to see my ex boyfriend this Saturday/Sunday morning, so Sunday afternoon and evening to today I have eaten like crazy and bought whatever foods sound endearing and pleasurable. I know eating foods never fills a void and it always, ALWAYS leaves me feeling unsatisfied, unmotivated, and disliking how I feel- yet it’s a habit I’ve lived with for years- it’s comfortable. It’s knowable…

Around March I tried and have been working towards changing my mindset and actions with food. It actually helped a lot, but triggers and weekends still felt overpowering and unmanageable. My mentality is better than it has been before, but the last few days have brought me back to old patterns. I’m not hating myself anymore for it- I am accepting I’m not the victim anymore (I am making these choices), so that has given me control and awareness back (partially). I’m choosing to do this- but why? I approach it with curiosity, but right now I am just so frustrated. Why do I keep going back to the same unhelpful and even toxic patterns, habits, and ways that I ultimately want eliminated, yet not enough to choose differently? How do I choose to have the desire enough to change these habits? Do I just do it regardless of desire and want? I’ve learned that we ought to do things, ESPECIALLY when we don’t want to. We choose to live in the uncomfortable, as that’s the only way to be different and grow. How do I make that shift to live in the ucomfortable and actually CHOOSE to decide that, everyday? Because mentally right now, I have absolutely not made that choice. I’m reaching out, because a big part of me wants to make that choice. That’s why I’m here. I’ve slowly tried to implement that (a couple times saying no to overeating, running at the park when I really didn’t want to, etc.), but god do I have an immense amount of work to do…

My “why” is scattered I think. With the losses that have occurred in my life (the passing of my father this July, the loss of my boyfriend of over a year, and the loss of my identity due to growing up Christian then completely denouncing that religion and living differently around mid 2021, so losing what I previously thought was the purpose of my existence), my direction is foggy, or even blacked out (if I can talk in visuals). I just moved in with a friend of mine now, I’m working somewhere I enjoy thankfully… I have ambitions- but they all seem fruitless and unobtainable as I don’t feel smart enough to achieve them, or strong enough to fight the struggles. And even if I found and lived in the drive to achieve them- for what? My existence and purpose of living many times boils down to, “I don’t know- maybe there is no purpose.”

I apologize if this is too much information. But the more I explain where I am, the more I might be able to find resolution, find community and ideas. Maybe some can relate with me, maybe some can offer guidance. I’m 25 and know answers are out there, and I’m tired of living the way I have for what feels like forever. I want to break the cycle. I want to find freedom from what has felt like a mental and physical stronghold for so many years. I want recovery, if that’s how people see it. I want answers. I want my life back- not that I have lost my life, it’s always been right in front of me… but maybe my sanity and logic and correct perception…

Part of me is expecting and wanting to find the solution, the one thing that will fix all these problems- but that’s not how life works, and I know it’s gonna take time, effort, dedication, inner game/inner work to get out of this “mental trap and decision barrier,” if you will, to see results. As I’m literally devouring/binging on pumpkin roll, ice cream, Nutella, and animal crackers as we speak (as I’m typing all this out)… what’s the resolution? How have you all overcome this? How have you found freedom from food, if at all? How have you found and/or made and/or identified your “why?”How do you perceive things? What’re the answers for you?

Thanks for coming to my TedTalk and ranting rampage😅- excited to hear some responses, if any at all 🙂.”


r/Purpose Sep 16 '24

Meaning of life

4 Upvotes

I recently overcame a tough situation that took a great toll on my mental health. Although things were tough at first, I am improving my outlook on life and the world. While introspecting, I realized I have no clear interests or purpose in life. Can someone provide insight on how I can discover my life's purpose?


r/Purpose Sep 15 '24

32M feeling lost in life

9 Upvotes

I am a 32 years old unmarried, childless man and I am currently feeling lost in life. Therefore, and facing some embarrassment at first, I picked up the courage to seek professional support from a therapist for the first time in my life. Nonetheless, I've decided to post here in order to get additional advice from both men and women who are part of this community.

I think that my current feeling of being lost (or left behind) in life mainly stems from two circumstances: mild bullying which resulted in the inability to fully experience my teenage years if and when I compare them with the ones experienced by my peers and the loss of my father due to cancer when Covid-19 was ravaging in 2020. The first circumstance, in fact, turned me from a quite extroverted and carefree boy into an introverted, overthinking and resentful man while the second one wreaked havoc in my everyday life as I abruptly lost one of the most important people I was attached to in a phase in which everyone is supposed to settle down both personally and professionally. Cancer is basically like having to deal with a time bomb where you cannot see the timer and this puts you face to face with the precariousness of life.

Those events profoundly affected me, as I practically spent my teenage years most of the time alone focusing on my studies and these last years trying to settle down professionally facing great difficulties in both dealing with people (as I work in Sales & Distribution) and life itself. There are days in which I feel completely absorbed by what I am doing and therefore I manage to get things done as expected without having to deal with what my therapist calls "intrusive thoughts" and others in which I feel overwhelmed by a hurricane of negative thoughts and sensations about myself and the future ahead of me that make me cry silently on my pillow as soon as I get home at the end of the day.

I deeply regret the fact of not having been able to experience love in its blossoming, intense and raw nature during my teenage years, unlike my peers, the fact that those times and hangouts will never come back again thus leaving a deep scar inside my heart and lastly, the fact that I am very often going to be at unease in social settings when acquaintances/colleagues etc. discuss about their family, children and career prospects. At the same time I also drastically reduced the amount of time I spend on social media as people just seem to share the good things in their lives but I always try to take any opportunity to hang around my friends and family members, even if some of them are starting a family and this makes me feel at unease as I previously explained. Going out for dinner/ a movie/ a play at the theatre all by myself is too much for me to handle and, quite frankly, humiliating at the moment. Casually going out for some drinks or travelling instead, are more manageable activities but come with some strain as well.

I'd like to become more optimistic and resilient in order not to find myself alone and hopeless as I reach maturity and retirement. What advice would you give me? Thank you for your help and please forgive me if I made some mistakes but I am not a native English speaker.


r/Purpose Sep 11 '24

I don't want to give up, but I don't want to give up on what?...

12 Upvotes

I always find myself thinking about "Why should I do this?" If I start exercising to get stronger, I ask myself why; Studying physics, I wonder why; Simpler things like just sitting down and playing a game, I wonder why, and so on.

I just feel this emptiness. It's horrible to live thinking that everything you do won't have a greater purpose, and some might even say that life doesn't need such a thing, but that idea seems even worse, to me at least.

In fact I find myself constantly jumping from both extremes. There are days when I seek a greater purpose in every small action I do, even if it's just to help other people. Other times I simply embrace the little things in life and try to enjoy the simplicity of my days.

Whatever the case, I never feel satisfied. One of my favorite works is Kara no Kyoukai, and there is a phrase that I think resonates a lot with all of us: "Having infinite emptiness also means that you can be infinitely filled...". I try to value it more. Not feeling satisfied can actually be a great sign, but I feel like all I need is to find that "Something bigger" that identifies me...

If I had to make an analogy, I feel like a car with a full tank of gas but in the middle of a desert. In short, I feel something in me that just won't let me give up, but not give up on what? I don't have a direction to follow, even though I want to... It's strange, I know, but I think it's the best way to describe myself

I wanted to know if anyone else feels similarly and if they have anything to say about it. Regardless of anything, I thank you


r/Purpose Aug 31 '24

Confused and heartbroken

3 Upvotes

For the past few years, I've been trying to focus on my purpose which is a close subject to my medical career but takes me on a completely different path. It seems that I'm going nowhere with it. Recently I've started to focus on my exams but they're demanding and I'm mostly sure I'll have to forget my life goals of business and purpose if I get serious with it. I also have nightmares when I focus on my career.

I feel old to pursue my purpose and too lost and far away. Should I pick my career or my purpose?

Also, I come from an asian household and I'm pursuing my career further because it makes my father happy. He has sacrificed a lot to get us here. I don't want to be a disappointment.


r/Purpose Aug 30 '24

Something I just realized..

6 Upvotes

I've always wondered why I'm still here, fir context, I'm In my mid 30s now. Teenage and early 20s were spent partying and doing really stupid shit because I thought I was invincible. Around age 25 I decided to fight a semi truck with a dodge Dakota. (Forgot I didn't drive a Ram) I lost, 3 years later in the depths of heroin addiction I went to rehab and got clean. I got out, reconnected with an old flame, had a kid, got a good job, got promoted, bought a house. Now im living "the American dream" being stuck in the rat race while paying for kids I get maybe a couple hours with a day and a wife that is consumed by work and struggles with denial about her mental health. I myself have done plenty of that and have been seeing a therapist for over a year. I've had dozens of former classmates die, close friends, a sponsor, addict friends in addiction, addict friends in recovery. My only other long term relationship ended up getting killed in a car accident about a mile from a jobsite I was working on. during addiction we got a bad batch and I survived because I was around people while my friend who was an 18 year old girl and had a kid was alone and died. I thought about that alot during detox. Anyway, last week a guy I contract for died at 41 from a blood infection he picked up from getting sand in a cut, he has a 6 and 8 year old. It's a rare day, I'm picking the kids up from school, stuck in this ungodly unstructured car line and asking myself why the fuck am I alive. It dawns on me that I've saved quite a few people. I rolled up on two Hispanics on a jobsite in tbe middle of nowhere with one in diabetic shock and the other spoke no English. I got the paramedics there and navigated them back to where he was. His brother to this day if he sees me he always says thank you. When I was 18 I was headed to a girlfriends house and a woman and child were running down the road in the middle of the night. So I stopped, the lady was screaming he is after us and that's when I noticed some guy in a truck parked in the woods who made a break for it the moment they got in. I drove them home and made a report. Narcanned a few people. I like to believe my stroy has helped others when i was in the rooms. I saved my wife from an extremely violent ex, turns out bullies don't pick on people twice their size. Anyway, there's a few more stories but maybe, besides raising these kids, my real purpose may be linked to these and future events. I dunno. Anyway