Ask an Alumni - August 05, 2024

[u/AutoModerator]

This weekly Monday thread is for members to ask questions of ttcal Alumni (members who are currently pregnant after loss or who have had a pregnancy after loss that resulted in a living child).

[u/Important-Maybe-1430]

When did you feel “safe” in your pregnancy, when did you believe it?

Had a MMC found out at my 10w scan but it stopped growing at 7.5-8w. Im now 8w2d and have a scan tomorrow. In my head as soon as that goes well, if it does, ill feel safe. But i dont think i will.

So did you feel safe when a few weeks past that point of loss last time or not.

[u/yes_please_ → u/Important-Maybe-1430]

I'm 35 weeks today and I'd say the safety thing comes and goes, but the longer you go, the longer the periods of safety last. 

I had two MMCs at 11 and 10 weeks, babies measuring 9-9.5 weeks. I definitely breathed a huge sigh of relief seeing them kick on the 11 week ultrasound, so much so that I wasn't really worried the next week at my appointment, but then by 15 weeks I needed a reassurance scan because I was spiraling. I had a good early anatomy scan at 16 weeks and felt great until 20 weeks but then they found some issues and it threw me right back into anxiety again.

By then the baby was kicking regularly and it was easier to assume they'd arrive, but I still had a reduced fetal movement incident at 23 weeks that really rattled me. It was like I was so close to viability that the anxiety actually heightened - this has been a pattern, as I reach/approach a milestone the stakes seem to get higher.  

I spent most days of the first tri worrying, now I'd guess I'm averaging 1 in 10 days being really anxious. I expect that closer to delivery it may ramp up which is why we got a doula. 

You will have joy in your rainbow pregnancy, but there's definitely a sprinkling of fear too.  Every pregnant person worries, it's just sharper for us.

[u/StrawberryAnxious245 → u/Important-Maybe-1430]

Yes wondering this too! I had a MMC at 6 weeks and found out at 8 week scan. I’m having my 8 week scan this Thursday and I’m so nervous 😭 I have a 2 year old and I remember with him he started kicking around 16 weeks. I would drink ice cold water or poke myself and he’d kick back , so this time around I’m hoping to get through the next 8 weeks. The wait is agonizing.

[u/robgoblin17 → u/Important-Maybe-1430]

For me it came in waves. NIPT coming back good was one milestone, anatomy scan being good was a milestone, 24 weeks was a big one, but it really wasn’t until 28 weeks that I let myself start really buying a lot. I had a harder time than I thought I would

[u/Important-Maybe-1430 → u/robgoblin17]

Yeh atm I’m thinking a week at a time but think a milestone at a time is a good approach.

So hard. Miss the ignorance and naivety.

[u/robgoblin17 → u/Important-Maybe-1430]

I think however you handle it is the right way for you! If one week at a time works for you then keep at it and don’t let anyone sway you one way or another.

[u/Important-Maybe-1430 → u/robgoblin17]

Was a second fucking MMC at my second scan both times. Fuckkkkkkkk

Third times a charm maybe

[u/robgoblin17 → u/Important-Maybe-1430]

Ugh I am so sorry 😞

[u/slow4point0 → u/Important-Maybe-1430]

My losses were all at 5+1 so after that I started feeling 50% better with my LC pregnancy. In this pregnancy I just pasted 5+1 a few days ago and i’m feeling 80% better even thought I had a loss in between LC and now, it was more likely a CP so I think the progesterone is working again. I felt actually safe when I could feel babe start moving consistently! We shared last time at 12 weeks too if that’s helpful.

[u/Important-Maybe-1430 → u/slow4point0]

I shared when id peed on a stick both times, no intentions of going through this alone/with just partner

[u/slow4point0 → u/Important-Maybe-1430]

I mean like, Facebook public. Close family and friends knew right away with me too because same! But if you did FB right away too more power to you!

[u/Important-Maybe-1430 → u/slow4point0]

Oh no i dont really do FB announcements. Ive been engaged since feb and forgot to tell people, keep being asked about my ring. Whoops.

Might do one if its born.

[u/slow4point0 → u/Important-Maybe-1430]

lol I see then! Yes as long as the important people know and you have support that’s what’s important ❤️

[u/Sufficient-Pea-6318]

Ive seen some mentions here of people having success with progesterone and baby aspirin.. I'd love to hear more if anyone is willing to share. It's a very lonely road to be on being pregnant after multiple losses, especially in those early days. I dont know anyone who has had multiple losses and is taking these medicines. I'm only 5w2d and already finding it hard to keep my mind from spiralling.

Thank you 🙏🏼

[u/yes_please_ → u/Sufficient-Pea-6318]

No way to know if that's what did it but I'm 35+5 after two losses and aspirin/progesterone in this pregnancy.

[u/Wildsweetlystormant → u/Sufficient-Pea-6318]

I had success with progesterone and aspirin after 4 losses. Using this again for my current pregnancy. My RE recommended this after RPL testing didn’t have any answers for us

[u/Sufficient-Pea-6318 → u/Wildsweetlystormant]

Thank you! This is so nice to hear 😊

[u/PeanutButterSpoon702 → u/Sufficient-Pea-6318]

I had success with progesterone, aspirin, and prednisone after two losses. You're so right about how lonely the journey can feel. Please feel free to ask any specific questions you have, and know that I'm thinking of you.

[u/Sufficient-Pea-6318 → u/PeanutButterSpoon702]

Thank you so much ☺️ I haven't heard of prednisone before for RPL, interesting. It is such a lonely place but comments like these really shrink down that loneliness so thank you! At what stage did you stop taking those medicines or did you continue throughout?

[u/PeanutButterSpoon702 → u/Sufficient-Pea-6318]

I stopped the progesterone at 12 weeks and began tapering off the prednisone at the same time. I stayed on the aspirin through my entire pregnancy (and actually upped the dose after 12 weeks from one baby aspirin to two at the advice of my OB). Stopping the medication was so scary, but nothing bad happened despite what my anxiety was telling me!

[u/psychologied]

I posted this Ian the daily thread too because I’m freaking out. 23+4 and had a medium blob of mucusy discharge and blood in the toilet this morning (mostly discharge). Immediately panicked. This is very similar to how my 14w loss started, with odd discharge mixed with blood. I went to the OB and she said all looks well, cervix is closed, baby is healthy, but I’m in a spiral. She sent some labs to see if it could be an infection. Last time this happened they also said things were fine, sent me home, then I lost my son 12 hours later.

Has anyone had something similar at this gestational age?

[u/Wildsweetlystormant → u/psychologied]

That sounds so stressful, I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. I haven’t had this exact experience but I did have all kinds of weird discharge in the second trimester with my first rainbow baby, really freaked me out too.

[u/rachinador → u/psychologied]

So sorry you’re going through this! It seems every week has a new set of worries. Hopefully ur labs come back all clear! I’m sure everything is fine, but kudos to u for checking it out just to be safe. Sending u all the love, prayers & good vibes

[u/olliepips]

I just had my third loss 💔 two CP and an early MMC. I can't decide if I should go ahead and try something more or just continue to get pregnant naturally and hope for the best.

[u/Wildsweetlystormant → u/olliepips]

I’m so sorry. Definitely recommend RPL testing, even if they don’t find anything my RE recommended progesterone 3 dpo and baby aspirin daily as a “can’t hurt, might help” which resulted in my first rainbow baby

[u/olliepips → u/Wildsweetlystormant]

I was on progesterone but I guess I could add aspirin.

[u/pkmnlouise → u/olliepips]

I’m so sorry for your losses. I had 3 losses in a row and finally conceived what seems to be a viable pregnancy. I couldn’t afford testing or ivf so I just kept trying. I did add vitamins and baby aspirin, but honestly I think it was just luck of the draw. Only you can decide what route is with in your reach financially, physically and mentally. Whatever you decide is the right answer.

[u/olliepips → u/pkmnlouise]

Aw thank you. This is very comforting. It seems like every time I google the only answer is IVF or IUI. I don't even know if IUI would help considering hubbys sperm is fine and we clearly can get pregnant.

[u/Responsible-Glove-68 → u/olliepips]

I’m so sorry for your losses. I want to reiterate what everyone else is saying and recommend RPL testing. I’ve had 4 losses, I’m 36 weeks pregnant now. They did a saline sonogram and found what they thought was a polyp (it was RPOC from a previous loss), but it could be as simple as that. They also had me do Lovenox injections this time around even though I don’t have a blood clotting disorder. We will never know if these things are what made a difference, but it never hurts to get tested! I wish you the very best whatever you decide 💕

[u/olliepips → u/Responsible-Glove-68]

I will say that I've had an HSG, is that different than a saline sonogram?

[u/Responsible-Glove-68 → u/olliepips]

They’re different in that the saline they do transvaginally but you may not need to do it if you’ve had an HSG. Maybe something to ask your doctor about though

[u/slow4point0 → u/olliepips]

RPL testing for sure. Were you on anything like aspirin or progesterone?

[u/olliepips → u/slow4point0]

Progesterone. Not aspirin.

[u/Most_Principle_8455]

21 weeks tomorrow and have been feeling baby girl move on and off since 19 weeks. Sometimes feels like nothing all day, I found out I have an anterior placenta I guess which is why.. when about do the movements get stronger and more consistent? Every time I realize I haven’t felt her move much I can’t help but think the worst is happening again

[u/Certain_Law_7090 → u/Most_Principle_8455]

I’m 28w now with an anterior placenta and started feeling inconsistent movement around week 20. I’d say by weeks 24 i could feel baby every day, though some days stronger and more often than others, I believe depending on its position. Now it still varies but it is super clear when it moves so i get reassurance much quicker. I do think it helps my anxiety a lot!

[u/Most_Principle_8455 → u/Certain_Law_7090]

Good to know thank you!! Definitely going to be an anxiety relief once more consistent!

[u/Certain_Law_7090 → u/Most_Principle_8455]

What helped me those first weeks of movement was thinking I somehow made it for 20 weeks without feeling anything and was still able to get through the anxiety. I took any movement as a bonus but focused on trusting it’s all ok without it.

[u/robgoblin17 → u/Most_Principle_8455]

Hi there, 37 weeks with an anterior placenta and the moves for me were tough. Arguably the hardest part of pregnancy after loss. I’d say around 24 weeks I felt her daily but things didn’t get consistent until 29-30 weeks in terms of feeling her a lot.

[u/yes_please_ → u/Most_Principle_8455]

28 weeks is the guideline for when you can expect consistent movement patterns, but even then it varies, even with a posterior placenta.

[u/Adventurous-Drop3850]

I am 17+4, the furthest I’ve ever gone into a pregnancy and I feel… normal? When I lost my last pregnant at 12 weeks, I had lost all symptoms at 10 weeks. I know they say in the second trimester you really do feel like yourself again, but with an anterior placenta i’m not feeling many kicks yet and I’m just kind of in this limbo of “is this normal or am I losing another baby”. I haven’t had a sudden loss of symptoms, it really has been gradual and I still have some such as sore boobs, occasional flutters and complete exhaustion. It’s just hard to know what’s good and what is a cause for concern. We saw baby boy at 15 weeks and he looked perfect! Next scan is in 2 weeks so holding out to see how he’s going

[u/schenslee]

I’ve now had 2 chemical pregnancies back to back- I know I can get pregnant. “At least you can get pregnant easily” words like a knife in the kidneys. We’re gonna take 2 cycles off. I’m gonna up my vitamins and get healthier- can anyone give me some insight to vitamins they take or if they had similar stories and welcomed a double rainbow baby?