Question on another group:
My mother’s phone number and address have spread throughout the “non” profit world over the years, and she receives a constant flow of pleas or money. She lives alone, so I can’t intercept the mail or phone calls.
They all pretend to represent sympathetic causes – fireman, the policeman, the children of wives of policemen and firemen, wildlife, veterans, cancer fighters, etc.
They are almost all virtually criminals, but running a charity which spends all its money on “administrative fees” is not illegal.
I explain this every time I see her. But if someone asks for money, she feels obligated and sends a check. She can’t bear to say no.
She has the same problem with people selling things like lawn service and (unnecessary) home repairs,
One idea is closing her checking account and paying all her bills online. But then they’d probably take her debit card number and clean out the account.
Anyone have similar experience? What did you do?
Some answers:
- Take over her checkbook and pay her bills for her. That way, she doesn’t have access to it. I did this with my mom. I went over once a week and paid her bills with her at the table with me so she knew what was going out and coming in. She still felt that she was in control
- We had her mail forwarded, closed her checking account and took over her bill paying.
- We had a problem with this as well with my MIL. Fortunately she still had the wherewithall to understand she was being taken advantage of. She no longer donates to anyone who calls her on line. She says please send me the literature on your organization” over and over until they get tired of it.
- When solicitors call my Mom says, “I’m not in charge of the finances, you need to talk to my son.” And it was her idea, not mine. She called to tell me about the awesome defense she dreamed up!