MOD
Standalone Relationship Posts no longer allowed. New Daily Thread to be started.
Effective today, we're going to start a daily thread for Relationship posts. These posts tend to devolve into a lot of anger and resentment towards the people in the post, and are pretty difficult to moderate.
The daily thread will exist to vent about partners/family members/in laws and request for advice about your relationship.
We'll check back in a week or two to see how its going.
Lol yes please. Or when a family member who hasn't seen you in a while says "omg look how big you've gotten"
Like of course you're getting bigger! You're growing a human. No need to be triggered by an observation.
See also: people make comments that my baby is big/small/cute, old people talk to me in public and that makes me mad, someone tried to touch my baby and I did something I think is clever (but isn’t) in response, how can I be passive aggressive to my MIL for existing
Aww, my mother (who is certifiably crazy and definitely Has Her Moments) once told LO “Mama is my baby” and it’s one of the sweetest things I can remember her saying.
This is a good idea. I find the general griping about grandparents to be exhausting and upsetting and triggering, having lost my mother recently I’d kill for an overzealous grandparent who wants to be around my kid all the time.
I know there are a lot of mothers on this subreddit and they absolutely deserve a safe space to voice their opinions and thoughts, but there are fathers like myself and I have to say that there have been a few threads recently that have devolved into petty, casual misandry and it was beginning to make me feel as if I wasn't welcome here.
It also makes me concerned about potential bad actors using this place as a breeding grounds for discontentment, I've seen many subs in the past just accept hate towards a particular group of people as part of their identity. It really doesn't take much for a few people to plant the seeds of anger and tip the scales of what was once a welcoming forum into another hate-sub, and it can very innocuous comments that get the ball rolling.
I love seeing the responses from dads/non primary caregivers/non birthing partners. It is great to see varied opinions and experiences and honestly so refreshing to see examples of great dads in particular. My husband and I find it really frustrating when people tell me I “got one of the good ones” just because he changes a nappy even though I’m there. I love that this group has dads who are so involved that they clearly still think about their kid when they aren’t actively interacting with them.
#1: Proud dad | 316 comments
#2: "Put this on Reddit and he’ll be a meme in 24 hours" | 144 comments #3: my daughter is officially in remission! we have a long few years ahead to keep the cancer at bay, but it's working! | 137 comments
I agree, fathers and SOs who are involved with someone else’s child need their space and their say too. I’m actually really happy to see posts from fathers and concerned husbands etc here because it’s so refreshing, and it’s good to know I can try and help!
Honestly some of the male-targeted sexism and resentment in the new parent subs has genuinely surprised and disappointed me. This sub isn't the worst offender though, it is significantly worse on r/beyondthebump.
I appreciate this. Don't get me wrong, I could complain about my MIL all day and occasionally my husband drives me up a wall too. I think there should be a place where people can vent and get support but I come here for parenting advice/commiseration and not bitching about my family.
Not gonna lie, reading that brings me an unnecessary amount of cynical joy. Kind of annoying that it was marked as breaking the "brigading and trolling" rule; I have no idea how that was decided.
In the future, do I add stories like that to the daily post? (I'm assuming so)
What about good relationship posts, like bringing up how helpful SOs are? I completely agree to do this for all the venting posts, but appreciate clarification on positive posts.
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u/xKortney Dec 19 '22
THANK YOU