Alot of women today in Kenya cannot find a man. This is a serious challenge. Uhuru noticed and talked about this problem towards the end of his term but he said it subtly. He said that Kenya will need to address a boiling challenge because many women are ending up single mothers. There is a serious crisis brewing in Kenya and our women are unable to find men they want. There are many men, but our women do not want these type of men. If you scroll on Tiktok, you will definitely come across a video of a woman saying how she does not need a man, or she does not want marriage or she is complaining he a man has done her bad. All these are side effects of women who cannot find men. When a woman says she does not want marriage, it is because she just cannot find the men she wants to marry. She has a type, but that type of man is unavailable to her for various reasons. The causes are as follows:
1. The boychild stagnated and regressed:
Society put in alot of work to empower the girlchild from the 80s onwards. Many scholarships and many programs and many NGOs and governments made alot of effort to uplift the girlchild. This was a good thing and it was a necessary thing. The girl child in the past and today, faced many challenges and it was important to uplift women. However, they forgot one thing. Uplifted women, need uplifted men.
What has happened is we now have many uplifted women, but the men stagnated and regressed. Uplifted women, want uplifted men. Your moms were okay marrying your dads who were losers. But an uplifted woman, will not marry a loser like your dads. To put it into context, your stay at home mom was okay marrying a man earning 50k. But the modern woman can make 50k easily, do you think she will be interested in marrying a man who earns 50k? No, she wants the man earning 150k upwards. The more a woman earns, the higher her bar rises. A woman earning 200k, cannot marry a loser earning 150k, she wants the man earning 400k.
More women are working than when our mothers were in the dating market. These working women will not settle for men earning the same as them. They want men earning more than them. If Eve Mungai makes 300k from Youtube very month from posting a few videos, she won't be interested in a hard working man making 200k salary. She wants a man earning 1 million and above for her to feel like she has a good man.
Any career woman today who wants marriage, will have a very hard time finding an eligible bachelor. The man she wants who is earning more than her and can provide, does not need a working woman. A man who can provide, does not care about a woman's career or money. Whether he marries a working woman or a woman who is starting out or hustling, he will provide the same lifestyle. This is why serious providers do not go for career women. To them, her money is irrelevant. When a man earns 1 million bob, he has no problem providing for a woman who earns 100k OR a woman without a job. He will pay rent, dates, and everything for either woman. Infact, the one with a job is a headache to him coz he is probably a busy man and he wants a woman who will be available when he has time, not one who will start telling him she has to work when he wants to go on vacation.
2. Hookup Culture
In the previous decades, sex was a very reserved and serious affair. A man had to put effort to get sex and convince a woman that he was worthy. But thanks to the modern world, hookup culture has become the norm. Sex has become readily available at an affordable cost. Since women became liberal, they abandoned traditions like chastity and many now dish out sex easily at a fee. This hookup culture has made many men disinterested in relationships. A man can spend 3k or 5k per week and easily access sex with a new baddie every week. Hookup culture is a big problem and society will need to find a way because more and more people are engaging in it. Hookup culture comes in many forms like "tuma fare", "my mbabaz","milayas" ,"sponsor", "spa", etc. Sex has become easy to get and men are no longer putting in the effort to get into relationships being motivated by sex.
3. Alcohol/Sherehe/Weed/ Gambling
Many men have today become disillusioned coz of sherehe and alcohol. They cannot think straight anymore. Any free time they have is spent drinking, getting high or sleeping and nursing a hangover. In Nairobi, you cannot have any social activity where a woman can meet a man who is sober and thinking straight. ALL social events have one thing in common...ALCOHOL. When a man gets into a relationship, all he knows is that he is supposed to drink every weekend and any free time he has. This leaves men with no time for family or relationships. They are used to chasing the high or sherehe lifestyle.
4. Social Media and Dating Apps
Social media and dating apps have ruined relationships for women. Their men are always sexually charged coz of social media and their men have the illusion that there is something better out there. The moment her man enters IG, he finds a woman twerking or sijui Alicia Kanini has done what. This is creating alot of sexual charge in men and making women look like sex objects. When he enters social media, he sees so many other beautiful women and they are all posting how perfect they are and all kinds of thirst traps. This makes a man believe the lie that there are better options out there. Instead of chasing a woman or fixing issues in his relationships, he is quick to dump a woman coz he believes kuna wengine huko nje. On dating apps, a man has unlimited choice. The worst place to meet a man is on a dating app coz he knows if he met u there, he can meet others there. The many single women are also subtly competing on social media. If u enter your whatsapp status now, you will see a woman posting herself in some pose. Your man sees such images all day and the constant feed of women posting all kinds of selfies and images all day creates a false sense of options to men. Reddit is a good platform coz it is more conversational.
