My take: One accusation, true or false, can tumble the most careful/innocent man’s life.
We, as men, (speaking generally, of course) go out of our way not to touch women in passing, not to look or smile at children, and be seen NOT doing these things as not to be confused with the scummy/twisted side of our gender. It’s too easy to have your life derailed by a woman with a vendetta, one that is after something, or (almost worse) a misunderstanding.
Obviously, the above is VERY generalized, but it’s something we have to think about when out in the world. One misinterpretation or bad actor can destroy everything we have.
The really sad part is that I TOTALLY get it. Women have every reason to be believed when accusing a man of advances or something worse because, in large, we’re pigs and have proven that time and time again. It’s near impossible to sort the good from the bad when it’s hearsay. All we have is our word. Which, fairly, doesn’t carry a ton of weight in the court of public opinion. Ergo.. women (in the wild) scare the hell out of me as well.
Now, whether the OP you’re responding to meant this or was just making a joke, I could be completely off base. But, as a dude, this is what came to my mind immediately upon reading that comment.
I feel like I’m stepping into a minefield with this response. Bracing myself for potential backlash, but there it is..
Thank you for your thorough and honest response. I understand your concerns, and erring on the side of caution is often the best policy. I hope that your fear doesn’t inhibit you from making friends with women or dating them. The overwhelming majority of us are mostly harmless, somewhere between boring and cool, just like the dudes.
And, no, not in the least. I’ll chat with anyone if the vibe is right. Once that first hurdle of them realizing I’m not trying to be a creep (the wedding ring helps immensely), the conversation is completely uninhibited. My friend group is a solid mix and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
My initial thought after reading this was that you are probably a fellow Xennial, so I took a little peek at your profile, and I think I might be right. I also watched a couple of your YouTube videos, and confirmed my other suspicion that you and your wife are absolutely adorable.
Haha.. Yup! Nailed it! I have to know, what gave me away? 😆
Thank you so much! That’s very kind of you to say. I certainly count myself amongst the luckiest of people to have found a soul that matches mine so perfectly. She’s the light of my life.
Hooray for you and your happy souls! I’m not sure what gave you away, exactly, it was more of your general tone and worldview. I spend (probably too much) time in r/Xennial, and your comments made me think I was in that subreddit for a second.
We are a rare and beautiful breed, born of the old ways but adaptable to the new. We say “whatever” but we actually care a lot. We are inspired by the best of Gen X (Keanu!) and forged in the fires of latch key kids drinking from the hose on the Oregon Trail, and we dig the younger generations’ open-mindedness and digital ease. Goonies never die!
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u/KennKennyKenKen Sep 13 '24
You hover your hands because you're respectful
I hover my hands because I'm afraid of women.
We are not the same