problems with jewish identity

[u/DeadRat__]

i was not raised as a jew. my great-grandmother was jewish, but she was forced to convert to catholicism in order to marry my great-grandfather. after discovering this, i began to study judaism and felt extremely comfortable and happy with the religion, and began to contact my local synagogue for conversion. problem is: i didn't like the people that ran the local synagogue. i didn't felt welcomed for who i am and what i belive, they are staunch zionists.

there is no other synagogue in the city (i live in a small state capital in brazil).

i don't know what to do. I wasn't raised jewish, but fell in love with the religion and began to study the Halakah and observe the mitzvot.

i don't like to call myself a jew because i never did my formal conversion, but i don't feel like anything else.

what am i?

[u/sudo_apt-get_intrnet]

What branch of Judaism are you trying to convert into? Maybe some relatively nearby synagogues have a way to do at least most of the process online? Depending on where you are I know Sao Paulo and Rio have relatively large populations (my father is from the latter) so if you're even relatively nearby them you might be able to find something that only makes you visit in person a couple times.

Converting to Judaism is a difficult process. Historically some Rabbis have even claimed that you need to completely reject a potential convert three times before they can even START the process. Most denominations have it require years of formal study before they finally consider you a Jew.

I know there are some converts/converting people in this sub as well; might be worth trying to DM them?

[u/DeadRat__ → u/sudo_apt-get_intrnet]

The Synagogue in question is Conservative, there is no other nearby.

if depended exclusively on my will, i would convert to a Reformist or Reconstructivist synagogue.

i live far from Rio, São Paulo or any large population center, i feel completely alone in this process!

thank you so much for the help.