"Ask A Jew" Wednesday

[u/AutoModerator]

It's everyone's favorite day of the week, "Ask A (Anti-Zionist) Jew" Wednesday! Ask whatever you want to know, within the sub rules, notably that this is not a debate sub and do not import drama from other subreddits. That aside, have fun! We love to dialogue with our non-Jewish siblings.

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[u/DO_MD]

I have a question! How do you guys feel about your own personal connection to the country of (or land of) Israel?

My girlfriend is American and Jewish raised Zionist but is slowly changing her mind and her ways but has this almost unbreakable connection to Israel. Even when I criticize Israel she still can’t help but shut down and has trouble criticizing them as well. I’m curious how you all deal with this connection to the land, and if there’s a feasible conversation to have with her that may help her see this as just a country? (If that’s even the right way to go about it)

[u/myownpersonallab → u/DO_MD]

This is a great question. It's complex. For context, I am a SWANA Jew.

Judaism as a religion is tied to the harvest cycles of the land. I see a lot of ancient wisdom about existing in the land itself that has been passed down. I cherish it as a reminder that I should strive to connect with whatever land I am living on in the same way. Support the indigenous peoples of the land by paying land tax, and learn from them. Of course, that ancient connection, imo, is still not Zionistic. It does not give Jews the right to occupy the land, displace and murder the people, and mass produce on it in a capitalistic way. It just means there is ancient history there. As there is for so many religions.

My theory is the only way past this is to treat this as brainwashing that is causing us to dehumanize ourselves and others.

I had a very Zionist early education because my grandparents were displaced from their country of origin when Israel was founded. I knew what genocide and displacement was before pre-school. I heard countless stories growing up about how unsafe it is for Jews. How any country can displace you at any moment. Because the reality is it DID happen to them. It wasn't Hasbara. Their history is real. And Zionists manipulate that real history by putting you in a fear state and present genocidal nation states as the answer. You are taught that Israel is your only savior. Imagine being a scared child and receiving a hug. Israel was essentially that hug for us.

So some parts of me do shut down when I hear criticisms of the state of Israel. But this shut down is the result of years of brainwashing, and I am an adult now who has her own thoughts and feelings. When I enter my fearful/traumatized state, I am extra kind to myself. I meet my inner child where she is at. the one who knew what genocides were before she was in school. I remind her that she is safe. She's at home, in her bed, working, cuddling with a cat. This is just the emotional self-regulation I need to do as an adult because I cannot be like my ancestors and put my trauma on other people.

But you can try and unpack what it is about her experience with Israel that keeps her connected. No matter how glossily it gets painted initially ("ancestral homeland" or whatever), the answer without fault usually ends up being fear of genocide and displacement. In our modern day with so many Jews waking up, it's fear of ostracization from the Jewish community.

For me as a person, the number one thing that makes me feel safe enough to pop off in my criticism around others is: knowing that this person will call out real antisemitism when it happens, and being vocal about the genocides and displacements their nation states carried out. I will never feel safe to criticize and shift my views if someone is not vocal about the genocides and displacements their own countries commit (for example, pro-Palestine yet pro-Erdogan people). Why that is, I don't know. I think it feels like antisemitism to me, but I haven't unpacked that deeply enough to know if that's really what it is.

I'm not sure what it will be for your girlfriend, but curiosity is a good place to start.

[u/DO_MD → u/myownpersonallab]

You know, this was so well-said, I want to just show her this exact comment and have her read it. That was perfect. Thank you for making that connection for me!

[u/myownpersonallab → u/DO_MD]

Overjoyed to hear this. The fact that she is questioning gives me hope. It took me 4 years to go from Zionist to anti-Zionist, but once you see things you can't unsee them. Make sure you take care of yourself in this process too you do not have to do all this work. Perhaps she can get involved with an organization like IfNotNow and meet other Jews who are questioning. Wishing you and your family safety, love, life, and freedom.