r/HolUp • u/Phantom-Z • 1d ago

Just hangin’ around…👀

4.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

232 comments sorted by

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u/WhatsTheHolUp 1d ago edited 1d ago

This comment has been marked as safe. Upvoting/downvoting this comment will have no effect.

OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is a holup moment:

Just a normal workout video…until you see the guy in the background is absolutely packing.

Is this a holup moment? Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.

1.7k

u/damn_dude7 1d ago

Why is it dangling so much when the guy is barely moving?? Thing got it’s own brains lol

455

u/only-4-lolz 1d ago

That fucking big it has to be self aware

19

u/Ooze3d 10h ago

It's ALIVE!!

356

u/bigSTUdazz 1d ago edited 1d ago

You ever see how an Elephant scratches his belly?

Yes...it's as horrifying as you think.

39

u/N_T_F_D 23h ago

Does the female elephant have a giant clit to do the same thing?

91

u/bigSTUdazz 19h ago

Dunno, I could never find it.

21

u/Distinct_Safe9097 17h ago

Pure gold! 😂

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36

u/Congregator 1d ago

He’s using it to scratch an itch on the side of the knee

6

u/ObliqueStrategizer 17h ago

it's called the dance of a thousand snakes

22

u/Fuck-The_Police 1d ago

That's his spotter, catches him if he starts to fall.

42

u/Change_That_Face 1d ago

You can flex it and make it hop around.

33

u/falsevector 1d ago

He's probably going to lift weights with it later

13

u/AverageBridgetMain 1d ago

Have you never seen the image of a guy doing no handed pushups??

11

u/Drudgework 1d ago

Yes, we have seen Tenacious D.

4

u/LewdLewyD13 20h ago

One is all you need.

1

u/TheEvilInAllOfUs 4h ago

We have, yes. But there are some still unfortunate enough to not know of the power of the cock pushup. The cock is a muscle, ya gotta learn how to flex it.

12

u/imarandomguy33 1d ago

It's sentient

58

u/Shackmeoff 1d ago

Iykyk.

73

u/DooDooSquad 1d ago

I really dont mang

30

u/Darth_Floridaman 1d ago

I assume the joke here is kegel exercises. Otherwise, I am similarly lost.

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15

u/Kidus333 1d ago edited 1d ago

He Probably has a half chub from working out, I even read that some people can orgasm from exercise alone.

21

u/LonHagler 1d ago

I find that the blood is needed elsewhere and the opposite happens (shrinkage).

7

u/Kidus333 1d ago edited 23h ago

Lol, the type of workout can influence it I guess. I have experienced that during bench press.

2

u/feedpoormanafish 20h ago

Jiggle Physic

1

u/johnthepervv 1d ago

And it's own soul! Bow down to me mortals for i am your new god!

1

u/jkurratt 20h ago

It serves as a gyroscope

1

u/ronaldreaganlive 18h ago

Makes me so glad I don't have that issue.

1

u/Automata1nM0tion 7h ago

It's not real. It's a staged clip.

1

u/Unfair_Bodybuilder_2 4h ago

There appears to be a fan off camera, which is causing the junk to jangle.

1.3k

u/Fredotorreto 1d ago

bro got an elephant trunk in his pants

318

u/chrisbaker1991 1d ago

It's Lt. Dangle

150

u/Neat-Land-4310 1d ago

"Lt. Dan you've got three legs!"

35

u/artygta1988 1d ago

“Magic legs”

8

u/lysergic_818 1d ago

Hello fellow red person. If the 1988 in your handle is your birth year, it's mine too. July.

5

u/ValEerie88 19h ago

1988 here, too. Us late 80's babies sure did grow up in interesting times of technological advances.

3

u/lysergic_818 19h ago

We've been through so many social and technological transitions. And even worse, we've been through many life changing events, recessions, wars, etc. It's been quite a ride so far.

3

u/ValEerie88 18h ago

It's weird, I feel like I live in a totally different world than I did as a kid. Though I suppose it IS totally different, still feels strange.

8

u/--VinceMasuka-- 1d ago

I can picture the whole scene. Way to inspire imagination.

7

u/ZombiexXxHunter 21h ago

I was waiting for a bicep tear. But it was the guy with tree trunk in his pants..

927

u/Quaintly__Coyote_ 1d ago

I was waiting for a Popeye'd bicep. I didn't see the holup until the second watch...

189

u/Black-Iron-Hero 1d ago

Yeah, almost every lifter has seen that preacher curl double bicep tear. I was watching through my hands.

39

u/No_Ability9867 1d ago

Wait, I’m a newbie to lifting. Can you please explain? Thank you so much!!

24

u/heresjonnyyy 1d ago

https://youtu.be/aeJis9y9UC4?si=ZfVS6fMG5xHYWAzM

38

u/Redditditditdo69 1d ago

should I be afraid of the bicep tear? because what I just saw makes me afraid of the bicep tear

37

u/Quaintly__Coyote_ 1d ago

Stretch, lift within and just above your comfort level, and keep your muscles conditioned. Don't hop straight into a drop set as a warm up.

8

u/bVI7N6V7IM7 23h ago

It is common enough to not bottom out on preacher curls, if not skipping them entirely due to the fear of injury. Among the very effective ways to achieve stimulus I personally find preachers to be too risky to be worth it. Laying bilateral dumbbell curls on a flat or slightly inclined bench allows you to get a very complete stretch with a substantially larger ability to safely bail.

3

u/grammar_mattras 15h ago

I don't know the exact number, but the vast majority of tears like this happen to roided up guys.

Then there's a (relative) lot of them happening to egolifters.

And the third risk group are people that overtrain (20 sets per muscle group per week is considered sustainable).

And lastly, the vast majority of tears happen when people have had a minor injury for a while already.

If you don't do roids, control the weight and let your injuries heal sufficiently, there's a near zero chance of getting any kind of muscle tear.

Injury prevention is also the main reason why so many fitness influencers recommend "slow controlled release" during training.

I hope this calms your nerves.

1

u/hajmonika 17h ago

Don't do steroids and it's almost impossible to get a tear

11

u/No_Ability9867 1d ago

Eeeeeeek. Thank you so much 🙏🙏🙏 Probably just saved me from one!

1

u/kingepic84 10h ago

That shit seems like it hurts like hell

20

u/Minute_Engineer2355 1d ago

For how far he is descending, I thought this is what I was going to see.

5

u/Daftdoug 1d ago

And third and fourth...

443

u/StarchSoldier 1d ago

My already decimated ego is telling me this man wearing a flaccid strap on for the fun of it

223

u/BisexualCaveman 1d ago

Colostomy bag.

Now your ego should be fine.

54

u/StarchSoldier 1d ago

My ego is fine but now I feel like shit... In a bag😐

2

u/bdot1 12h ago

Jalapeno.... On a stick

24

u/harley_rydr 1d ago

Nope he just has a prolapsed anus!

8

u/findingbezu 1d ago

I wanna go pro

28

u/handtoglandwombat 18h ago

Oh yeah dw bro that thing ain’t real. It would hospitalise a woman. Porn has fucked up everyone’s expectations with plastic surgery and prosthetics.

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13

u/Lord_Melinko13 15h ago

He's definitely wearing an oversized packer. I've heard stories about it more than I've seen it (only seen it once, but I'm no gym rat). Why they do it? Trolling, personal insecurities, making videos for bait... Pick and choose my friend. No one's dingle truly dangles like that or they'd faint every time they got an erection.

414

u/kchoyin 1d ago

He brought his own cable just in case the gym is crowded.

466

u/Gerry1of1 1d ago

Plot twist - that's his colostomy bag swinging.

82

u/Strawberries_Field 1d ago

Aaaand there it is

33

u/JustHugMeAndBeQuiet 1d ago

I would read your fan fictions

5

u/nextalpha 20h ago

You just did

78

u/dark_knight920 1d ago

Who gonna address the elephant in the room?

4

u/squarabh 1d ago

*trunk

76

u/madememake1up 1d ago

NSFW - Not Safe For Wife

9

u/archiekane 22h ago

I don't want her to be the judge of that. This is the guy at the gym she tells you not to worry about.

151

u/txchexmex 1d ago

I literally can’t even focus on the main character with that foot-long hotdog in the background

20

u/notrealcc 1d ago

Jingle..jingle..focus on the main guy..jingle jingle😂😂

24

u/NA_nomad 1d ago

Plot twist-he's also a grower

8

u/Legitimate_Tough_553 1d ago

Cruelty, pure cruelty

6

u/TheBrownBaron 1d ago

WMD was never in Iraq

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28

u/PuzzleheadedWalrus71 1d ago

No way that thing is real.

1

u/chanj3 21h ago

AI is crazy now a days

24

u/izimand 1d ago
  1. That's how many times I watched it before I figured out I'm not looking at blue tanktop guy.

8

u/e4sy_143 20h ago

And how often did you rewatched after you have realized?

52

u/xDropK1ckx 1d ago

Alright alright you got me when did you get a video of me?! lol

13

u/Mike_Oxsmall_420 1d ago

Can confirm this is r/absolutelynotmeirl so it must be this guy

32

u/5narebear 1d ago

Seriously, is it possible to have a flacid footlong? And would women treat it like they do an actual subway footlong: eat half and store the rest in the fridge for later?

-13

u/TurdCollector69 1d ago

No. Penises greater than 8" don't exist. Anything over 7" is extremely rare. Pornstars that are regularly touted as 8" are usually 6.5-7".

Porn has absolutely ruined people's perception of what's normal or what's large.

If you look up most "big D" pornstars they're all like 5' tall and the women they film with are around 4'.

They also regularly use fisheye lenses that make things close to the camera look huge and things that are just a little bit further away to look much smaller.

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11

u/browslice 1d ago

Dude needs some underwear to contain that demon

5

u/IzzySirius18 madlad 13h ago

Could probably just wrap it around his waist like a Super Saiyan's tail

14

u/Soulborg87 1d ago

The old hammer lift exercise. Good for the legs.

3

u/Agreeable-Menu 1d ago

In his case, 3 legs.

7

u/Not_Sure4now 1d ago

Imagine asking for a spot, for the weight bench

8

u/-SheriffofNottingham 1d ago

Lisan Al'Ghaib!

20

u/Dribgib 1d ago

Wait where is this… I’ve seen this man and I’m not kidding

21

u/BluntTruthGentleman 1d ago

Which website?

7

u/holymacarony2526 1d ago

Need to know for research purposes.

12

u/Phantom-Z 1d ago

Colorado

17

u/INF1NITE 1d ago

I’ve seen this guy. I used to workout at Vasa in Denver. Def a fake dick bro…

21

u/TheMightyOak1123 1d ago

This is chuze fitness in Denver, I've seen this asshole at the gym. Grown ass man making tiktok pranks with a fake dick, what a joke.

4

u/Miserable_Site_850 1d ago

Pics or didn't happened

6

u/standardtissue 1d ago

Noone wants to talk about the elephant in the room.

14

u/Hyper__Beam 1d ago

i didnt even notice the guy in the back, all i thought was how he was gonna tear his biceps cuz he kept locking on all those reps

6

u/holymacarony2526 1d ago

I wonder if he gets along with dolphins.

6

u/Kitchen-Shopping8777 1d ago

😂😂🤣 shit took me a while. I was waiting for his muscle to tear. 😆

20

u/HatchetWound_ 1d ago

The dude smuggling hanging flower pots

6

u/MikeyHatesLife 1d ago

Does he wear macrame for underwear?

2

u/HatchetWound_ 1d ago

Probably only material to hold back that python belt he’s wearing.

5

u/MrDoom4e5 18h ago

Human tripod.

8

u/Charming_Victory_723 1d ago

I’m the proud owner of a Weiner dog, clearly he is a proud owner of his Weiner less the dog.

4

u/Key-Alarm7328 1d ago

Homie needs to tie a knot in it or something aye. Innapropes

4

u/fdjizm 1d ago

That's egregious

4

u/SpellingIsAhful 1d ago

Turns out his waist is actually way lower than his shirt would suggest and it's just a baby carrot

1

u/MysteriousCommand564 15h ago

There’s nothing baby about that carrot… maybe overgrown eggplant

4

u/PrideSamael31 1d ago

He's got the Grandfather Clock pendulum swing

3

u/Thinking_of_nothing 22h ago

That's not real

4

u/say-it-wit-ya-chest 14h ago

Buddy passes out every time he gets a boner.

3

u/alwayskared 1d ago

Oh that’s 3 legged Willie goes to my barbershop

3

u/evlhornet 1d ago

Where’s that breeze coming from?

3

u/ExternalAd8309 1d ago

Why'd it take me like 5 re-watches to catch that💀

3

u/SnooMarzipans8933 1d ago

Took me 3 watches to notice

3

u/master_baiter-69 1d ago

Is there any workout for that, asking for a friend

3

u/Armandeluz 14h ago

This is staged just for that

4

u/Metalbender00 1d ago

That honestly doesn't look physically possible. Its got to be terrifying for most women.

8

u/Level_Flounder_8543 1d ago

That is an unfortunately sized penis. Not only does he likely struggle to keep it up due to obvious blood flow necessity, but also what woman would want that anywhere near her.

1

u/milehin8tv 13h ago

I know plenty of men who would take that in a heart beat.

2

u/MerrillSwingAway 1d ago

clearly he is worthy to wield such a hammer

2

u/drewgrace8 1d ago

Damn a Tripod

2

u/jasno- 1d ago

Nobody really wants or can take a shorts cannon like that.

1

u/NaSMaXXL 22h ago

Seriously, anything over 9 inches gets painful. Most size queens only go up to 11.

2

u/GroundbreakingAsk645 1d ago

Dude goes blind when he gets aroused.

2

u/Ok_Translator8581 1d ago

This guy goes to my gym and I have seen it on multiple occasions. Always wearing the same basketball shorts and it is swinging around like crazy.

2

u/Suxmadic 23h ago

14" min

2

u/Technical-Nerve5611 18h ago

That has to be fake IDC if it's his dick or balls. No way.

2

u/BruHh678910 18h ago

There is no way he can even get it up by half. At this point it's just a third leg.

2

u/leon_nerd 16h ago

Dr. English Cucumber

2

u/syahir77 15h ago

He can open a door while holding a big box with that thing.

3

u/imnoetic 1d ago

Jesus christ on a crutch!

3

u/Ugh_Groble_neib 1d ago

dingle dongle just dangling

🤣

2

u/Dahowlic 1d ago

Dudes pendulous nads are keeping the chronometer in check.

1

u/ogx2og 1d ago

It's dangling (or he's portraying a danger,, guy to the right)

1

u/iKeepItRealFDownvote 1d ago

I see OG Mudbone making a comeback

1

u/bitofanightmare 1d ago

Alright alright alrighttttt. You gonna learn today!

1

u/vcdrny 1d ago

It took me 4 views before I realized it lol.

1

u/FreakyFishThing 1d ago

Donkey dick aside, a cable preacher curl machine? Looks awesome I wish my gym had one of those.

1

u/guillote1986 1d ago

Damn those elbows are suffering

1

u/ApprehensiveMix2649 1d ago

Good lordy lordy 😍😍

1

u/Mossy_detergent 1d ago

Its basically twitching on its own

1

u/u_b_dat_boi 1d ago

i feel bad for that guy, he'll never know the feeling of going ballz deep.

3

u/findingbezu 1d ago

She-horse enters the chat

1

u/enorman81 1d ago

That is a lot of swinging meat.

1

u/TheRealRickC137 1d ago

Never skip kegel day

1

u/AlexWildPants 1d ago

"big things coming".  Excellent caption

1

u/Kugelfischer_47 1d ago

If you can, please make a donation to the little Donny foundation this holiday season. Every inch, I mean bit helps.😂

1

u/matyas94k 1d ago

Viktor! Viktoor!

1

u/ocotebeach 1d ago

That guy is Lil' cowbell.

1

u/alexcascadia 1d ago

This took me so many loops to see 😂

1

u/arix_games 22h ago

I thought this was gonna be another one of those biceps tear videos

1

u/Caca2a 22h ago

I loudly exclaimed "JESUS!" That ain't a man, that's a fucking tapir!

https://youtu.be/zJm6nDnR2SE?si=eJAmRs0Rdok8xvYA

1

u/blottingforgreatness 21h ago

Dude. That’s a big fuckin cock gah dam

1

u/DarkAmbivertQueen 21h ago

I just saw it. lmfao 🤣 😭

1

u/Chanathebanana 21h ago

Bro has a pendulum lol

1

u/mandark214 20h ago

Dude hangs dong

1

u/melloboi123 20h ago

I need these problems

1

u/feedpoormanafish 20h ago

That ain't a handgun, that's a whole rifle

1

u/yaaaawwnn 19h ago

You think it's the balls or the penis?

1

u/sat-nak 17h ago

Um am I too blind to see it?

1

u/bloccboibillie 16h ago

That thing is about to grab it’s own barbells

1

u/bloccboibillie 16h ago

That thing is about to grab it’s own barbells

1

u/HangDownStanky 13h ago

earn ...chief earn .....chief earn .....chief 🫏

1

u/Ok_Veterinarian9758 11h ago

That's not what they meant by bring your own jump rope

1

u/ScarletRose1265 11h ago

Do.... Do they really get THAT big? I mean how does his heart support that thing?

1

u/Tornfalk_ 11h ago

Brazzers is about to put a bounty on this guy's head.

(For recruitment purposes)

1

u/Mickxalix 11h ago

50% sure he has those "penis enlargement" devices that stretches your thing.

1

u/Mogadodo 8h ago

What devices? Asking for a friend

2

u/Mickxalix 6h ago

Male pro extender 3 is what I could find with a quick search.

1

u/OrangeXJam 10h ago

I was focusing on the dude's biceps . . .

1

u/thatkurokitsune 10h ago

Just found Kevin Hart's dad

1

u/8champi8 10h ago

I didn’t notice the snake I was too concentrated on this guy’s beautiful muscles. Am I gay ?

1

u/beeglowbot 7h ago

it took me a second watch to realize wtf I was watching 👀 holy moly

1

u/miztiq 7h ago

3 watches to see wtf is going on LMAO.

1

u/Mach1zmo 6h ago

Thought it had to be the guys left arm being smaller then the right... for reasons.

1

u/Weather0nThe8s 6h ago

there's a YT video about a guy with a similar situation. it's basically all foreskin.

1

u/TUANDORME 5h ago

If this is real?.. then how come people aren't making him wear underwear so it's not hanging down and banging up against the shorts of the whole time & so the world can notice?!?

1

u/kgb747 15h ago

That is a Michelle Obama size dong!

1

u/Rossasaurus_ 1d ago

Look up sicle cell anemia megalophallus.