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u/Fair-Butterscotch-25 2d ago
I do all of that, it doesn’t work
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u/ptaah9 1d ago
The key is to be present and grateful in every moment. Our thoughts get in the way of this.
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u/5thlvlshenanigans 1d ago
I have a hard time understanding this. Let's say I spend at least 12 hours a day on my smartphone, or playing video games that i don't even enjoy, mostly while lying in bed. Should I be present in my bed? I guess I could be grateful that I have a bed....
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u/BeingHuman30 2d ago
Then do the opposite ....
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u/TryAwkward7595 1d ago
It doesn’t work because we always try to ask the question did that make me happy ? The immediate answer may come as a no. But as you keep doing it the negative thoughts are less frequent. You feel positivity . But don’t try to find it. It may sound a bit cliche but give it a try. When you do these activities just do those activities and don’t think of other things
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u/Capertie 1d ago
Yeah, but I would probably feel even worse if I didn't do those things so, eh, it's not bad advise but the pills from the psych are definitely more helpful.
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u/19_curiosity 2d ago
I understand this post is meant for well-intentioned purposes and I appreciate it. If anyone does not want to be bummed out, do not read further.
With that being said, I cannot keep faking how much I like my life. I am grateful for the opportunities and people around me, trust me I am. However, I cannot feel any inspiration or motivation within me anymore, it sucks to keep feeling this way and then add on more guilt to it because there are people who have it worse.
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u/Coraline1599 1d ago
You don’t have to be happy all the time.
It’s not normal to be happy all the time.
Society tries to tell you success is waking up happy, skipping through the day filled with happiness and going to bed happy. Anything less than that must be corrected. But it’s wrong.
You can’t feel full if you never feel hungry. You can’t feel warm if you have never felt cold. You are supposed to have daily/weekly ups and downs.
It’s ok to feel down sometimes. Ok to feel unhappy, unfulfilled, frustrated and lost.
I found that once I started letting myself feel my feelings and not judging myself for my feelings I felt lighter, better. The moods would ride in and out like the tide. When things were bad, I was calmer, able to be in the moment, to address it. And when things went well, my gratitude was genuine.
I am more content than I ever imagined , just taking things one day at a time, some days I have a lot of gratitude, some days not so much.
I got in touch with who I am and what is important to me, and I do my best to follow my values, but if I fall off for a day or a week or a month, it’s ok. When I am ready I get back up and go again.
I wish it had not taken 20 years to learn that the goal is not to be nonstop happy. It’s to be resilient and rolling with life.
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u/Aemilia 2d ago
That sounds like depression, please don't ignore it as it will only get worse over time.
Source: Had depression for nearly 20 years, fortunately I'm cured now.
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u/19_curiosity 2d ago
I think it is because I am back home for the holidays which is why I am feeling this way but I am doing my dues and currently undergoing counselling so let's see
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u/ShinigamiXoY 1d ago
Then don't, its so draining to pretend. Maybe you'll find that when you stop you'll find something better. Inherent peace.
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u/Smartnership 11 1d ago
I didn’t plan this advice, so grain of salt required.
I’ve heard it said “you’re the average of the 5 people you’re most often with”
But maybe it’s the average of the 5 activities / communities you spend the most time with.
And if so, the socials you consume, especially Reddit, can be a huge factor. Like it or not, a lot of Reddit is negative, doom-obsessed, nihilistic, and dark.
Maybe reflecting on the amount of time we spend in these communities is a worthwhile endeavor.
Nevertheless, I hope the best for you, and that you find your life more fulfilling in the upcoming year and years ahead.
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u/WattzInYourWallet 2d ago edited 2d ago
Genuinely found this helpful. There was a point earlier this year where my cheating gf left me and I was feeling very depresso… but after a few months of therapy and just doing things for the sake of doing them even if I wasn’t into it helped a ton. Never felt so low in my life but on the up and up I’ve never felt like I’ve had so much direction. If you’re feeling bad about where you are in life or neglected by others I hope you can take solace in the fact that if you make yourself busy with things u know you would enjoy if you were in a better headspace then things will get better. Just my experience at least. Much love to all these motivation quote posts!
Edit: spelling, might still be wrong lol, merry Christmas all!
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u/Savings-Run-3747 1d ago
Lost my spouse April 3rd, 2022. Almost 3 years ago. I believe in the thought however; each day does present some obstacles. Especially on the holidays. I miss her a lot. Was married almost 47 years. She was my first date and my first kiss.
Getting better, I sleep alone, wake up alone , eat alone . This year, I am allowed 1 hour to see my grandchild. Her mother and dad (my son) have other things that are more important.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE. 🖕
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u/Smartnership 11 1d ago
Sincere condolences for the loss of your wife.
Here’s hoping for a better relationship with your remaining family in the time left.
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u/Inquisitor--Nox 2d ago
Take the small moments of happiness when you can. The world will take the rest.
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u/Denderian 1d ago
I agree with all these except the wake up early one personally, easier said than done for us night owls, otherwise this is a really beautiful message
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u/Timely_Hedgehog 2d ago
Oh dear God I would hate that life. That's like the generic blonde trophy wife of lives. But I like the sentiment. Obviously fall in love with your type of life and do your type of things with it.
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u/peach_xanax 1d ago
That's like the generic blonde trophy wife of lives.
because it mentioned coffee? I'm confused lol. I don't think it's a helpful sentiment at all, but I also don't understand how you got from "walks, good food, clothing you feel confident in, and music you enjoy" to "blonde trophy wife".
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u/TryAwkward7595 1d ago
Agree, no matter what level of life you are, you should take care of yourself. Materialistic things can give you high but those are momentary. Things mentioned in this post will give you much relaxation and happiness
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u/racingdann 1d ago
When going gets tough do things that make you happy and shift your mood. Gain momentum
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u/ace_high 11h ago
Fall in love with your #/@<CONSUME>@#CONFORM《BUY MORE LUXURY GOODS THAT ONLY SERVE TO INCREASE YOUR DESIRE FOR MORE LUXURY GOODS.》 cough.... uhhh... LIFE! Yeah, life.
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u/ProfessorMorifarty 7h ago
I wake up in the rubble of my home, my children and wife are dead or missing. I pick through the rubble trying to figure out what happened. The soldiers are here. I raise my arms to show I'm not a threat, we don't speak the same language anymore, but it isn't enough. They fire on me presuming I'm a threat, but I can't figure out why. It doesn't matter. In the end I lie there bleeding out as soldiers shout commands I don't understand. It's all worth it though, because someone on the other side of the world woke up early, got their favorite coffee, went for a walk, ate something nice, wore nice clothes, and listened to their favorite album.
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u/unbound_scenario 2d ago
Hmmmm, seems a bit shallow. Plus, I’d rather make my coffee and wear what makes me feel comfortable.
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u/pre-chrono 2d ago
Having 3 times the money I have right now would fix my problems literally permanently.