30F - Just Survived a Medical Emergency and Can’t Ignore My Unhappiness Anymore. How Do I Make Real, Lasting Changes?

[u/Ok_Illustrator_4970]

Hey everyone,

I’m a 30-year-old woman, and I’ve been unhappy for years. Whatever changes I try only give me short-term relief before I’m right back where I started—feeling stuck and unfulfilled.

Last week, I had a miscarriage that required surgery and almost took my life due to complications. Coming out of the hospital, something in me shifted. I can’t keep living like this anymore, but I also don’t know how to change. I feel lost and desperate for real, lasting transformation.

A bit about me—I used to be genuinely happy in my 20s, but adulthood has completely worn me down. I feel spineless, unmotivated, and unsure of what steps to take. I’ve tried so many things—working out, journaling, meditating, doing activities I used to enjoy, and even therapy. Nothing has stuck or made a meaningful impact.

I feel like I have the foundation to be happy, but it’s not clicking. I’m starting to think I need to make drastic changes, but I don’t even know where to start.

Has anyone else been here? What actually helped you turn things around? I’d really appreciate any advice or insights.

Thanks so much for reading.