r/China • u/No-Use-1712 • 1d ago
咨询 | Seeking Advice (Serious) Need advice-I got scammed by a friend
Hello everyone,
I'm in urgent need of advice. I recently got scammed by someone I considered a friend from Hong Kong. Here's what happened:
- My friend made up multiple excuses to borrow a substantial amount of money from me, totaling way way way over 70,000 HKD.
- When I asked for it back, he gave me a cheque that couldn't be cashed.
- He also sent me a screenshot of a supposed bank transfer, but I never received the money.
- Despite my efforts to resolve this amicably, he continues to ignore my messages.
I'm currently in Shenzhen and unsure if the police can help in this situation. Has anyone here experienced something similar? What steps should I take to try and get my money back? Any advice on how to handle this situation legally or personally would be greatly appreciated.
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u/H1Ed1 1d ago
Damn. Doubtful anything can be done. Sorry to hear that.
Rule of thumb for lending money to friends is to never lend the money with the idea of getting it back. Lend it with the intention of gifting it. If they repay the debt, great. But if they don’t, you’re not caught out resenting them over it, or fully cutting ties over it. If the amount is too great for you to give it away without resenting non-payment, then you shouldn’t lend it.
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u/No-Use-1712 1d ago
Yeah I know, he just made up many excuses to trick me. What's done is done, I just wanna get my money back.
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u/Johnnyhiredfff 1d ago
You won’t. Move on sadly before you piss away lore time and energy. Consider this a life learning experience
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u/narsfweasels 1d ago
“Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loan oft loses both itself and the friend.”
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u/cabalnojeet 1d ago
go to HK and file a police report
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u/No-Use-1712 1d ago
I'm considering going to HK and file a police report, just not sure if they'll help me.
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u/cabalnojeet 1d ago
why would you think the police wont help you? .. you have best success to file a complaint or claim in the location of the alleged person
plus you are literally 1 hour away...
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u/No-Use-1712 19h ago
Because it’s money issue and the police may ask me to solve this in private? I’m not sure if there’s a case here cuz the Chinese police would probably ask me go home to solve this myself. I don’t know if it’s the same in hongkong.
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u/cabalnojeet 18h ago
you can spend the time to not assume and actually go and chase this money down..
from what you sound, this money doesn't matter that much to you so .. if its too much of a trouble, then forget ..
P.s police will care if its fraud .... but again doesn't hurt to file a claim.
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u/saharatownduck 1d ago
Cheque fraud is a serious crime in Hong Kong. Reporting it to the police with the fraudulent cheque will bring significant consequences for that amazing "friend".
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u/No-Use-1712 1d ago
Yeah I think so, that's why I hesitated. I just wanted my money back but did not wanna put him in jail, so I was hoping he could give me back the money. But now it's been months, and still havent got my money back.
I guess I have no choice but go to the police station.
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u/Callmewhatever4286 1d ago
He committed the crime, so he deserves jail time. Just report it, he is not really a good friend if he doesn't want to return his debt anyway
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u/Johnnyhiredfff 1d ago
It won’t help with getting the money back, also really doubting OP has enough evidence for any of this to go down
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u/rlyBrusque 18h ago
If he has bank records and WeChat conversations, he’s got it in writing. It sounds like he does.
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u/tomt1975 1d ago
You could give him one more chance by telling him you will report him to the police if he doesn't pay up..
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u/Ididit-notsorry 1d ago
Bring the evidence to the police and let him take the penalty. He was not your friend in the first place. Grieve, learn and then move on.
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u/Suitable-Future-4364 1d ago
Do you have proof you gave your friend money with intention of him paying you back?
If you do - you can get the police involved. If you don’t - they won’t help you
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u/Noitide 1d ago
As someone who also had this happen to them- almost the exact same amount of money. 100% go to their parents and tell them what happened. Shame is the best way to get your money in China and it worked for me. The sad part was it wasn’t just me, it was a total of 6 people. And when we told his parents their first reaction was- not again…. It was the third time he’d done this. His dad has to take out a loan on his house to pay us all back but we got our money.
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u/AutoModerator 1d ago
NOTICE: See below for a copy of the original post in case it is edited or deleted.
Hello everyone,
I'm in urgent need of advice. I recently got scammed by someone I considered a friend from Hong Kong. Here's what happened:
- My friend made up multiple excuses to borrow a substantial amount of money from me, totaling way way way over 70,000 HKD.
- When I asked for it back, he gave me a cheque that couldn't be cashed.
- He also sent me a screenshot of a supposed bank transfer, but I never received the money.
- Despite my efforts to resolve this amicably, he continues to ignore my messages.
I'm currently in Shenzhen and unsure if the police can help in this situation. Has anyone here experienced something similar? What steps should I take to try and get my money back? Any advice on how to handle this situation legally or personally would be greatly appreciated.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
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u/Catcher_Thelonious 1d ago
10 years ago what I considered a friend asked to borrow USD2000. I gave him 1k and since then he's never made any effort to repay me. I wrote off the money and him.
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u/perkinsonline 1d ago
I've got countless friends asking me for money. You got scammed. Unless you're going to get a collection agency (read triad), you're not going to see it.
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u/No-Use-1712 1d ago
Did you get your money back with a collection agency?
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u/perkinsonline 1d ago
Yes. A collection agency will get a huge percentage of that 70k. Don't mention anything about the collection agency to your so called friend. If you don't to this route you'll get nothing. This friend of yours isn't a friend. You're being used.
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u/Extension-Card-88 1d ago
Signed any IOU? Normally it will be gone, lend what you can afford to lose. Send you a fake transfer clip n dud cheque already confirmed he's not gonna return back your money.
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u/mp99999 1d ago
Call the police. You need the Shenzhen police to help you deal with this matter. It would be better to do so.
If you are a foreigner, this will be your advantage. The police will do their best to help you deal with the problem.
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u/No-Use-1712 20h ago
I’m thinking about go to hongkong and report to the police, cuz he’s in hongkong.
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u/KevKevKvn 1d ago
Realistically I would either press charges or some sort of coercion. Something that could scare them. It’s a terrible position to be in. My advice is probably your last resort.
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u/No-Use-1712 19h ago
Yeah I thought about pressing a charge before, but I’m in shenzhen while he’s in hongkong, so things are a bit complicated. And it seems like it’s quite expensive to hire a lawyer in hongkong. All I can think of is to report to the police first and to see how it goes. Thank you mate.
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u/ChinaStudyPoePlayer 1d ago
I lost around 120.000yuan, to a former "gf" from the Philippines. It was 5000 here 5000 there, 35000 to build a new house due to natural disasters. Now I am not having any issues with losing that money other than it is really annoying losing so much money.... Especially because I am not wealthy at all. It was several years savings.
There is nothing I can do, despite knowing her family and pressuring her. Because there is no money to get. As the saying goes: you can not drain water from a rock.
That is how I have dealt with the situation accepted my past as being shitty, and moved on.
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u/muiwobuffalo29 20h ago
Do you have any details on him? Full name, address, good, employer, family members?
Write out exactly what happened with time stamps and full names.
Share him the letter and inform him if you don't start to see some repayments back, you will mail it to his employer and family and file a police complaint.
I would personally come up with a recoup number you can live with (maybe half) and meanwhile hope you get the full amount back.
Good luck.
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u/No-Use-1712 19h ago
Yeah I have details of him. And I’m actually thinking about recoup number that he could just repay me part the money back. But he just didn’t pay me back… And your advice is really helpful, thank you mate
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u/eche050 19h ago
I was faced with the same situation, lend money to a friend but never paid back for more than 3 years. Then one of good friend who is a big time loan shark told me he can sort it out for me.
I just told my old friend that I will be using his name and details to borrow from my loan shark friend and he can settle with the loan shark himself as I am still owed money by him. When he saw my message, my money was returned the next day.
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u/czulsk 19h ago
Lawyers, police. Do you have all those evidence, WeChat, emails paperwork, etc.. to show proof?
Maybe you can get away with small claims lawsuit. 70k is a big chunk. Hard to walk away from that. That’s probably roughly 1 year salary for many locals.
Good luck
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u/No-Use-1712 18h ago
I have those evidence but the amount is way more than 70k so can’t get help from small claims lawsuits
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u/czulsk 18h ago
I have those evidence but the amount is way more than 70k so can’t get help from small claims lawsuits
You have evidence of more than 70k but not enough for small claims? How much is small claims?
Either way I would still look into it. Lawyers should some ideas if it’s more than 70k.
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u/No-Use-1712 18h ago
Small claims is less than 70k. Thank you I’ll have a look
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u/czulsk 17h ago
I used a lawyer against my employer. I got my salary back for sure less than 70k, my work documents, didn’t lose my residence permit and didn’t return any money back to the employer. They want me to pay them 20k.
That’s why I mentioned using a lawyer. They should understand the steps you can do.
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u/Otherwise-Floor-1551 8h ago
find police and provide them with your chat records(Wechat,mail). In China, this amount of fraud is enough to be considered a criminal offense. China has relatively strict regulations for this type of fraud.
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u/cornelia-shao 3h ago
I think you can try Police at first, then do not post here, post on 小红书 Little red book. Users there can also speak English but know more life experiences like this
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u/intcmd 1d ago
Let your friend know about the bounced cheque and that it's fraud, that you've given enough chances, ask that he starts making serious repayments starting this week, if nothing starts take it to the HK police with the evidence you have. He can't turn around and say he had the cash wrapped up in Christmas wrapping paper ready to go and it's also the serious kick up the ass that you also would hope to get if you were in whatever he is in also
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u/No-Use-1712 20h ago
Yeah I tried that months ago and he promised to pay back the money month by month. But he failed to make the repayment the first month after his promise.
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