r/Assistance 1d ago

REQUEST Found My Sister Dead On Christmas

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u/Hasten_there_forward 1d ago

Do not pay any of her bills. If you pay them the company can say you claimed the debt by paying on it.

You need to file for emergency guardianship if you plan to keep the kids.

You might need your dad to get the kids' birth certificates, most states will not let an uncle or aunt get a copy. He might need to get their social security cards as well.

You need to get the kids Social Security right away.

You need the kids medical, vaccination, dental and school records. Or at the very least the contact info for their doctors, dentist and school.

Get William into therapy. You did not list Max's age but depending on his age he might need it too. You should look into it for yourself as well.

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u/beebeebeeBe 1d ago

Man this is really bad, I have none of that info… I wish I could ask her where she left their social security cards but this was so sudden.

How do I even go about getting their social security numbers and stuff if I can’t find the cards? I just want to ask her…

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u/Hasten_there_forward 1d ago

The oldest child might know the way to their doctor and/or dentist. Heck my kids knew the directions to their favorite restaurants in neighboring cities around the time they started kindergarten.

Watch the mail for statements from financial institutions. It is near the end of the year so any investments she may have had like a 401k should be coming soon. Look at emails on her phone for paperless statements.

Many parents do not get copies of their kids social security cards.

You can always ask the seven year old where things are. You would be surprised what kids are aware of and pay attention to.

Keep any dirty shirts she has, and her pillow cases, do not wash them. When the kids are missing her having things that smell like her can help so much.

Download any voice messages you have of her before they auto delete.

Talk with your dad about your beliefs and what comfort those can offer the kids.

If there is a song she used to sing or a book she read to them often they might get comfort from hearing it. Some kids might not want anyone else to sing or read it to them.

Start making lists of things she liked as you remember. These can be a way for them to connect with their mom as they get older and want to know more. Favorite songs, movies, books, foods, family stories, etc