Found My Sister Dead On Christmas

[u/beebeebeeBe]

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[u/Hasten_there_forward]

Do not pay any of her bills. If you pay them the company can say you claimed the debt by paying on it.

You need to file for emergency guardianship if you plan to keep the kids.

You might need your dad to get the kids' birth certificates, most states will not let an uncle or aunt get a copy. He might need to get their social security cards as well.

You need to get the kids Social Security right away.

You need the kids medical, vaccination, dental and school records. Or at the very least the contact info for their doctors, dentist and school.

Get William into therapy. You did not list Max's age but depending on his age he might need it too. You should look into it for yourself as well.

[u/beebeebeeBe → u/Hasten_there_forward]

Man this is really bad, I have none of that info… I wish I could ask her where she left their social security cards but this was so sudden.

How do I even go about getting their social security numbers and stuff if I can’t find the cards? I just want to ask her…

[u/Hasten_there_forward → u/beebeebeeBe]

The oldest child might know the way to their doctor and/or dentist. Heck my kids knew the directions to their favorite restaurants in neighboring cities around the time they started kindergarten.

Watch the mail for statements from financial institutions. It is near the end of the year so any investments she may have had like a 401k should be coming soon. Look at emails on her phone for paperless statements.

Many parents do not get copies of their kids social security cards.

You can always ask the seven year old where things are. You would be surprised what kids are aware of and pay attention to.

Keep any dirty shirts she has, and her pillow cases, do not wash them. When the kids are missing her having things that smell like her can help so much.

Download any voice messages you have of her before they auto delete.

Talk with your dad about your beliefs and what comfort those can offer the kids.

If there is a song she used to sing or a book she read to them often they might get comfort from hearing it. Some kids might not want anyone else to sing or read it to them.

Start making lists of things she liked as you remember. These can be a way for them to connect with their mom as they get older and want to know more. Favorite songs, movies, books, foods, family stories, etc

[u/Princessyllek0823]

You mentioned being best friends with your sister..did she possibly put you down as an emergency contact/eligible for pickups at the kids school? If she did, they may be willing to help you with copies of what they have on file for them. Is Dad not involved at all? I'd be willing to send you a checklist that I got from social services when my step children's mother passed away last year. Some info may not apply to your situation but a lot will. It's nice to review and check things off as you go!

[u/TurkeynCranberry]

🙏🏼

[u/Davarius91]

I'm so sorry for this. I don't know what else to say, anything seems wrong and not enough. I'm so sorry.

[u/Inner_Pangolin_8842]

I’m so terribly sorry for your loss, losses. I can’t even imagine.

[u/Writingmama2021]

I am so sorry 💔

[u/ScoutBandit]

Oh, I am so very sorry!

Virtual hug from a stranger:

{{{{{{{{{{🤗🤗💔🤗🤗}}}}}}}}}}

[u/DragonfruitShot6191]

Damn bro wtf

[u/beebeebeeBe → u/DragonfruitShot6191]

My heart is broken, and her little 7 year old boy is saying the most pitiful stuff. I feel like I’m drowning in sadness and anxiety

[u/Flinkle]

I am so incredibly sorry. ❤️

[u/EUGsk8rBoi42p]

You can change the ebt pin by calling the # on the back and inputting the info they ask. Wishing your family peace.

[u/beebeebeeBe → u/EUGsk8rBoi42p]

Thanks I just hope they don’t ask for like my nephew and niece’ social security or something. I don’t know those. I have to find their birth certificates as well. I am just so unprepared for this. We had just started sorting things out from my Mom passing and now this… God…

[u/MudderSeymo → u/beebeebeeBe]

No they won't ask that stuff however u DO NEED your sisters full Date of birth and last 4 of her social security #!! After u enter that then it will ask u to enter the new pin u want and then reenter it to make SURE!! I'm sorry for your loss anyday u lose a sibling would be Hell (my little brother was murdered so I get it) but on Christmas day.... I don't think I could stand that day ever again!! I'm praying for u and your whole family love🫶🏾🙏🏾💯😭😭!!

[u/EUGsk8rBoi42p → u/beebeebeeBe]

It sounds awful, sometimes the best we can do is peace in small moments. The system is automated so you don't have to speak with anyone.

[u/Florida1974]

Check around on cremation costs if that’s the route you go. I’m in florida too, lost my mom 4 years ago and my brother 2 years ago. Mom’s cremation died of covid, brother was hit by a car while on a bicycle.

Can’t blame yourself, you being there may not have changed the outcome.

Moms cremation was $3200

Brothers was $1100.

Huge difference.

It took me weeks to say anything online bc I was soooooo sad. Only my close circle held me up, at first and it wasn’t financially.

[u/beebeebeeBe]

This is my sister’s Reddit account. This was the last note she made on her phone (she always used to use tons of notes to keep track of everything)

If I would forge a god

Out of my love for you;

I would take my unbelief

and turn it into

A space for you to occupy

If I could do it with how much

We loved each other.

[u/Smellysamsqatch]

So the first thing you decide to do not even 24 hours after your sisters death is make a Reddit post about it and a go fund me? Yeaaa nobody is buying that crap.

[u/AliKri2000 → u/Smellysamsqatch]

I realize that you have to be careful in this world, but people often reach out to others for support when they are unsure where to turn. For some people, that's a community like this.

[u/Smellysamsqatch → u/AliKri2000]

I just don’t see how taking the time to create a go fund me a couple hours after the supposed death then marketing it would even be a priority that soon after the list of a loved one especially after how tragic this was made out to be. It’s a good story though. I’ll make the o.p a deal. Post the death certificate and I’ll donate the total amount they are asking for. Let’s see what happens

[u/3Blessings03]

Very sad :(. 25 years ago my sister found her mother-in-law dead on Christmas Day as well. She was such a lovely lady. I hope you get everything you need and more.

[u/Lacy7357]

Omg. I'm so sorry. If you to talk to someone outside of the situation please feel free to DM me

[u/monymkrmom]

Like I didn't know the end was a go fund me. Are you kidding? My son after beating a traumatic brain injury 10yrs ago just died in an ev fire. Really? Sounds like a scam to me

[u/Smellysamsqatch → u/monymkrmom]

Exactly!