Funeral costs

[u/Realistic_Law5085]

Hi all! So, my mom died last week and now the funeral home is calling which is the last thing I want to deal with at the moment due to... obvious circumstances. But I don't have much of a choice. The holidays are the worst time for funerals, and I hate even making posts.

My job (school lunch lady) doesn't pay me for the two weeks off I get from winter break, so that's a check gone.

Anyways, I don't have enough money, nobody in my family is willing to help pay for it bc they didn't really like my mom.

The cremation is 1700, I have 700 of it. And obviously I don't expect to get all of that from a reddit post but ANY help is appreciated.

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[u/witchcraftbeer]

First of all I am so sorry for your loss. My mom died in 2015 with no insurance at hospice and the coroner's office in Savannah that I had to talk to 10 minutes afterward was brutal. But they did refer me to a crematorium after I fell the hell apart on the phone. The crematorium was so nice and was able to offer me a rate off 1000 and broke it into 4 parts for me and delivered my mom's ashes afterward. I hope this helps!

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/witchcraftbeer]

Thank you by the way. I hate this situation. I hate how I found out, I hate when it happened I hate it.

[u/witchcraftbeer → u/Realistic_Law5085]

What city is she in? I know at the time y Mom died I could barely think or figure out quick decisions. Lean in all of us redditors for a minute and let us Google.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/witchcraftbeer]

She's in Alabama, and I had googled it! The funeral home she is in, doesn't do payment plans

[u/witchcraftbeer → u/Realistic_Law5085]

DM me. I'm with the Episcopal Diocese in GA. I'll try to reach out to the Diocese in Alabama and see if anyone can assist.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/witchcraftbeer]

This is in Alabama, and I'm not there to jump through hoops to do that. I feel awful! She died alone, but I don't know how to do any of that. I called the funeral home, but they can't do anything because I'm not there in person.

[u/Blondiebun2001 → u/Realistic_Law5085]

She may be able to be transferred to a different funeral home at this point if you didn’t get anything done yet. State should cover basic cremation

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/Blondiebun2001]

They covered some! But not the entire thing, which is why I'm here! It was originally closer to 2000? I think. My next step is gofundme

[u/RiffRafe2]

When my mum passed away, I had to take out a funeral loan and the mortuary had all the paperwork on hand. That is one way to go, if you can't get enough through crowd-funding.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/RiffRafe2]

I'm going to try that next if I can't get anything through this. This is the last thing I wanted to do around the holidays, plan my mom's funeral.

[u/RiffRafe2 → u/Realistic_Law5085]

My sincerest condolences. Losing a parent is terrible at any time but being around this season compounds it.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/RiffRafe2]

Thank you, she wasn't the easiest woman but she was my mom. My mommy, and I'll forever miss her more than life.

[u/emmybabycat]

You’re going to have to make a gofundme. They do well here for cases like yours. I’ve had luck posting mine on r/gofundme . Most funeral homes will also help you set up a payment plan…so you may not have to pay it all in one go. Depends on the place, though.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/emmybabycat]

Thank you!

[u/TheACN]

Post here when you’re able to make a gofundme page.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/TheACN]

I'm just seeing how this goes for the night, if nothing happens then I'll make one tomorrow. I don't expect anything from anyone, since ik this time of year is hard money wise on everyone!

[u/TheACN → u/Realistic_Law5085]

For most it’s more about the privacy than anything else. I never liked using Venmo or PayPal etc for helping out since I don’t want my name out there, and I don’t trust cashapp.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/TheACN]

Oh yeah I get that! I use cash app most, bc I don't understand PayPal or venmo for the most part!

[u/Landsharkian → u/Realistic_Law5085]

Venmo literally works the same as cash app?

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/Landsharkian]

They're super different to me, idk why!

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/TheACN]

I've never had any issues with Cash app if that's any help

[u/meditation_account → u/Realistic_Law5085]

You’ve had a lot of interaction on your post, all those people are potential donors and could have donated $5, $10, $20 on a gofundme by now. The longer you wait, the more likely your post is going to get buried and go by unnoticed. You’re losing an opportunity to raise funds the longer you wait to do this.

[u/Snapdragon_4U → u/Realistic_Law5085]

You really need to make the GoFundMe. People like to see if other people have contributed. This woman posted a request the other day that I offered to cover but then I saw there were multiple people who also sent it and i wasn’t informed. Kind of rubbed me the wrong way but I’m sure the person needed it.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/Snapdragon_4U]

Oh yeah I get that!!! Usually, if I'm offered or anything I say thanks in the post!!! Sometimes. Unless asked otherwise. But I do change the flair

[u/SadBit8663 → u/Realistic_Law5085]

The only way you're realistically going to be able to ask for that much money on this sub, is through a go fund me, so many people can contribute a small amount that adds up. You're probably not going to get 1000 dollars from one stranger. And 1000 bucks is a lot of money.

Hope you get this sorted out. Sorry for your loss.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/SadBit8663]

No no I don't expect all of it!!! Even a little helps. I'm picking up a shift at a restaurant waitressing this week so that's something.

[u/Soggy_Butterscotch66]

Did she have life insurance, a pension or a death benefit? When my Mom died I just had to show the funeral home documentation that I was the beneficiary of her life insurance and they let me pay them once the insurance company paid me.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/Soggy_Butterscotch66]

She didn't! Which sucks bc that would be helpful

[u/Royal_Tough_9927]

See if social services can provide a pauper funeral. Cremation is usually covered. Donate her body. Sometimes they return cremains to family after use.

[u/SELamby]

When my brother passed away, I found out that his state would pay for $x amount for basic cremation and burial. I think it was $900. We did a go fund for the rest. Maybe check your state to see if they have any programs that can help. Elder services may know as well.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/SELamby]

We did all of that, unfortunately the state she was in only covers so juch. The 1700 is what we owe left, after the state covered it!!

[u/Flinkle]

I'm so sorry about your loss, and the hassle you shouldn't have to deal with. ❤️

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/Flinkle]

Thank you! I'm holding out hope it gets easier eventually

[u/EmployeePrestigious6]

So sorry for your loss at the holidays. My thoughts are with you.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/EmployeePrestigious6]

Thank you! It sucks so much

[u/Sheahazza]

I wasn’t really able to afford a full funeral service for my grandmother when she passed, but they have cremation services online. I think it was about a grand. I want to say. And then the remains get delivered to your house if that helps.

[u/buzzybody21]

Your best bet is a gofundme. You can share the link here, and with others in your life.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/buzzybody21]

That's an option I haven't thought of!

[u/EducationKey2543]

I'm sorry for your loss.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/EducationKey2543]

Thank you, I miss her every day. She was my best friend and the best woman I know. Despite anything she was my mom

[u/SailorMoonatLBV]

Have you thought about donating the body to science they might cover cremation for the donation

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/SailorMoonatLBV]

She didn't want he rbody to be donated! That's a last report of I can't get it covered

[u/One-Basket-9570 → u/Realistic_Law5085]

You only have so long after she passes for that. And she had to be accepted for it. It’s not something that happens right after. I know a few people who have been denied.

[u/Realistic_Law5085 → u/One-Basket-9570]

I know, my grandma had been donated to science! My mom didn't want that