r/Assistance • u/katenaatebate • Oct 18 '24
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT My dad is dying.
I’m 25. My dad had a brain bleed or a stroke or both (I don’t know if those are the same thing), was found by his girlfriend unresponsive. He’s intubated, his kidneys are failing, doctors said something about DKA, even after weaning sedation he’s not responsive. He’s not doing good and I’m not medical, but my mom is and when I told her what’s up she just told me to prepare myself because my dad is probably going to die. He’s having neurological fevers, body temp was stuck at 104 degrees and wouldn’t come down at all for a day and a half, they got him cooled down with ice packs. But his temp keeps spiking. He’s on dialysis. He’s not good.
I really want to hold out hope that he might get better, my mom is a pessimist. I don’t know what to do with myself because I don’t want to latch on to false hope but here I am doing it anyway. I don’t know what to do and I feel like I can’t get a break from tragedy- I don’t know what to do.
I think this is safe to say these last two years have been the worst two years of my life.
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u/SuzyLouWhoo Oct 18 '24
I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I lost my mom in 2020. She was in the hospital for 2 months up and down every day, but I thought she was going to eventually come home, even if she needed a lot of care, I was prepared to have to figure it out.
I wasn’t ready for her to go. It was a shock. Which I know is crazy.
I don’t have any good advice. It sucked being unprepared for her to go. But I still say keep hoping for the best. I don’t know how it would have been different if I thought she was dying, but I like to think she knew I was there and taking care of her.
Just be with him if/when you can. He knows you love him. You’re a good kid.