r/Assistance • u/katenaatebate • Oct 18 '24

EMOTIONAL SUPPORT My dad is dying.

I’m 25. My dad had a brain bleed or a stroke or both (I don’t know if those are the same thing), was found by his girlfriend unresponsive. He’s intubated, his kidneys are failing, doctors said something about DKA, even after weaning sedation he’s not responsive. He’s not doing good and I’m not medical, but my mom is and when I told her what’s up she just told me to prepare myself because my dad is probably going to die. He’s having neurological fevers, body temp was stuck at 104 degrees and wouldn’t come down at all for a day and a half, they got him cooled down with ice packs. But his temp keeps spiking. He’s on dialysis. He’s not good.

I really want to hold out hope that he might get better, my mom is a pessimist. I don’t know what to do with myself because I don’t want to latch on to false hope but here I am doing it anyway. I don’t know what to do and I feel like I can’t get a break from tragedy- I don’t know what to do.

I think this is safe to say these last two years have been the worst two years of my life.

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u/izabitz Oct 18 '24

Ugh. I'm so sorry. I don't think you can ever be ready. I hope he gets better and you are able to spend more time with him. In the meantime, I would take the opportunity to tell him everything you have always wanted to tell him. Believe that he can hear you. You may not have another opportunity, even if he recovers. Sending you positive energy and internet hugs.

17

u/katenaatebate Oct 18 '24

Thank you <3 I wrote him a letter earlier with everything I wanna say and I’m going to read it to him today. I hope he can hear me, even if he can’t respond.

6

u/ComprehensiveMath235 Oct 19 '24

From someone that works bedside in healthcare, he can hear you. Whatever the outcome, he can hear you. You’re in my heart and thoughts.

2

u/katenaatebate Oct 19 '24

Thank you thank you thank you thank you. I just saw this, I don’t know what else to say other than thank you.

2

u/smithsunny Oct 19 '24

The hardest part of my life so far was losing my mother and I've had a particularly difficult life which was tumultuous bc of my mother. When she died a year ago I had the most unexpected yet kind of globally expected experience. I hated and loved her. The doctor told me she was going to die in 12 hours so I called the medical hospitals that were looking for donor bodies. Then 12 hours later the nurses told me she's being released from the ICU to the hospice care. While this may sound like a place for people who are out of it, she was so lucid she could've and would've corrected my grammar.

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u/smithsunny Oct 19 '24

I'm wholeheartedly wishing you the best that life has to offer. I'm so sad that you're experiencing this horrible thing. It isn't fair but you're loved and everyone is pulling for you and we are all ready to help answer any questions you have.