r/Assistance • u/DrFredz • Mar 26 '23
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT I am so sad
I am just so sad. In short, I saved up all my life and sacrificed everything I could until the age of 38 and opened a restaurant right before COVID hit. Long story short, restaurant is sold at a major loss, life savings gone and I just put up my family home for sale to pay off my debts, will be renting because my credit is shot. Will have to take my autistic son out of his private school and put him in a crappy public school. Marriage took a major hit and I’m not sure if we’ll come out of it ok. I’m out of a job and feel like I can’t work anymore, yet I cannot afford even a week without any income.
I’ve been crying all day and I can’t stop. I’m so sad my heart physically aches. I can’t sleep and cannot hold back my tears and sadness. I know everyone will say stuff like “stay strong” and “it’ll get better” or “there are others that have it worse”, but for me, since the age of 16, I have dedicated every second of every day, made so many sacrifices and suffered so much to get somewhere where I could lead a good life and leave something good for my kids when I’m gone, only to end up with such an outcome. I am destroyed and hurting so much.
I lost hope. I was always positive even when times were hard. I always believed hard work and sacrifices will eventually pay off. I always believed that if I do good I will eventually reap the benefits. I have always tried to be kind, generous, helpful and compassionate with everyone I encountered, no matter who they were. I was religious and believed I will be rewarded for my efforts. I was wrong all along and it really really really hurts to hit the wall and find out all of it was in vain.
I’m not sure what I’m looking for by posting this but I hope to feel even a little better after putting it out there. Thanks for reading me and good luck to everyone out there, life is unfair and cruel.
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u/Loki1191 Mar 27 '23
I get the feeling. My bird died and I was just done. My bird was my best bud and my only reason to keep going. When he died my whole world fell to pieces because all my life plans revolved around him. I went to the mental facility and came back. I got a dog that I'm training for a service dog and he's the sweetest thing. Just keep going. I know it's hard and it seems like it wont ever get better right now, but when some doors close, others open. It hurts still, but I never would have got my sweet dog if I still had my bird. Look for the opportunities and once you find it, cling to it everytime you feeling low and use it to keep going. Get therapy, get job help, maybe get on some depression meds, and maybe see if you can work on some skills that you can make money on. I've been working on proofreading to get a proofreading business going.