I am so sad

[u/DrFredz]

I am just so sad. In short, I saved up all my life and sacrificed everything I could until the age of 38 and opened a restaurant right before COVID hit. Long story short, restaurant is sold at a major loss, life savings gone and I just put up my family home for sale to pay off my debts, will be renting because my credit is shot. Will have to take my autistic son out of his private school and put him in a crappy public school. Marriage took a major hit and I’m not sure if we’ll come out of it ok. I’m out of a job and feel like I can’t work anymore, yet I cannot afford even a week without any income.

I’ve been crying all day and I can’t stop. I’m so sad my heart physically aches. I can’t sleep and cannot hold back my tears and sadness. I know everyone will say stuff like “stay strong” and “it’ll get better” or “there are others that have it worse”, but for me, since the age of 16, I have dedicated every second of every day, made so many sacrifices and suffered so much to get somewhere where I could lead a good life and leave something good for my kids when I’m gone, only to end up with such an outcome. I am destroyed and hurting so much.

I lost hope. I was always positive even when times were hard. I always believed hard work and sacrifices will eventually pay off. I always believed that if I do good I will eventually reap the benefits. I have always tried to be kind, generous, helpful and compassionate with everyone I encountered, no matter who they were. I was religious and believed I will be rewarded for my efforts. I was wrong all along and it really really really hurts to hit the wall and find out all of it was in vain.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for by posting this but I hope to feel even a little better after putting it out there. Thanks for reading me and good luck to everyone out there, life is unfair and cruel.

[u/Soon2BProf]

Your first problem was saving up and blowing the money on opening a restaurant. A restaurant has the biggest failure rate than any other business. If you love cooking then cook for family and friends and let them tell you how amazing ur food is. Don’t waste time cooking for strangers. Had you invested that money wisely, you would have came out ahead. That said ur not even 40 yet. Create a 5 & 10 year plan and follow through with it step by step. Find a career you live doing that will pay well and focus on getting it. Maybe consider applying for jobs in rural communities once ur figure out what career you want. And then start applying. Your income will increase drastically if u pick the right field of work and decide to live in the middle of no where. I went back to school for a second career and moved up near Alaska. In 3 years I went from making $40,000 to $105,000; as soon as I graduated I started apply for jobs up north and got one a lot faster than any urban area.

[u/DrFredz → u/Soon2BProf]

All due respect my friend, I know many people that opened restaurants and are quite successful. I have many examples of this first hand so I don’t think it’s very fair to state such things. Regardless, thank you for your advice and I’m glad things are working out for you.

[u/Soon2BProf → u/DrFredz]

Just because people you know beat the odds doesn’t change the fact that the majority fail. ( https://www.cbc.ca/dragonsden/m_blog/four-businesses-most-likely-to-fail) that still means you are taking a greater risk than a person who chooses to go into construction, or plumber, or become a doctor, or nurse, or paramedic, or IT technician, etc. (More stable jobs with chances of greater return on your investment in education or training/trade). It’s like seeing all your friends throw their life savings into lottery tickets and winning the lottery, doesn’t mean you doing the same would result in you winning the lottery. It’s not just about working hard, it’s also about logic. Those who plan strategically and work hard, have greater odds of succeeding in life. Those that think practically. Do research and see wha jobs are hiring the most in your area and see if you like any of them, then focus on a second career. For example, nurses in my area get a $10,000 bonus for starting in my area after a 6 month commitment and $5,000 retention bonus for the first 3 years. If nursing was something I was interested in, then that’s what I would have choose. It’s not too late to succeed. Student loans aren’t the worst thing in the world. And with an autistic kid you would get more government funding. Maybe look at company’s in ur area that will help pay for private school for your kid (depending which country ur in). And then look at what jobs are in that company, see if any catch your eye. Never throw all your eggs in one basket, always have 2-3 fall back plans. My husband had his own business at one point from 2012-2018 that barely kept its head above water. I eventually made him sell it because it was a dream not worth fighting for once we had a family. Dreams change, he was devastated but realized it was for the best. Now he has a new dream to get into fish and wildlife preservation, which is something he wanted to do as a kid but couldn’t afford to go to school to study it. He is now starting school in September for it.