I am so sad

[u/DrFredz]

I am just so sad. In short, I saved up all my life and sacrificed everything I could until the age of 38 and opened a restaurant right before COVID hit. Long story short, restaurant is sold at a major loss, life savings gone and I just put up my family home for sale to pay off my debts, will be renting because my credit is shot. Will have to take my autistic son out of his private school and put him in a crappy public school. Marriage took a major hit and I’m not sure if we’ll come out of it ok. I’m out of a job and feel like I can’t work anymore, yet I cannot afford even a week without any income.

I’ve been crying all day and I can’t stop. I’m so sad my heart physically aches. I can’t sleep and cannot hold back my tears and sadness. I know everyone will say stuff like “stay strong” and “it’ll get better” or “there are others that have it worse”, but for me, since the age of 16, I have dedicated every second of every day, made so many sacrifices and suffered so much to get somewhere where I could lead a good life and leave something good for my kids when I’m gone, only to end up with such an outcome. I am destroyed and hurting so much.

I lost hope. I was always positive even when times were hard. I always believed hard work and sacrifices will eventually pay off. I always believed that if I do good I will eventually reap the benefits. I have always tried to be kind, generous, helpful and compassionate with everyone I encountered, no matter who they were. I was religious and believed I will be rewarded for my efforts. I was wrong all along and it really really really hurts to hit the wall and find out all of it was in vain.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for by posting this but I hope to feel even a little better after putting it out there. Thanks for reading me and good luck to everyone out there, life is unfair and cruel.

[u/[deleted]]

Oh my gosh. I felt like I was reading my own life. Built a food truck on my own no loans. Sold the food truck and build a restaurant on my own no loans. This included building the entire septic system and getting it inspected. I lost absolutely everything. I lost my home, I lost my business, and because the restaurant revitalization fund was held up by lawsuits by white men claiming discrimination, I lost a $30,000 grant I was approved for that would’ve saved my life.

You are not alone. You are not alone. You are not alone.

I haven’t been able to work in a year, I caught Covid and long haul made it hard to walk for nearly 8 months. We are going to make it out of this.

We can’t go back to the life we had, but we can create an entirely different life. We have to let go of the people that we were. We have to forgive ourselves for circumstances we could’ve never foreseen. If I had the money, I’d give it to you. I feel like you are me. For the last three years, it seems nothing at all has gone right. The roller coaster has to go back up right? We can only stay in the valley for so long.

I can’t thank you enough for sharing this today. I feel like I have no one to turn to and no one understands. I forget there are thousands of us. I pulled myself up by my bootstraps. I worked hard. I did everything they say you should do. It wasn’t enough. That’s not our fault. We are learning that our nation does not have our best interests at heart. We are learning that small business doesn’t matter to America. What I’m also learning, is that there’s thousands of people like you and me and that we are not alone.

Be kind to yourself. You did the darn thing. You did not fail.

[u/DrFredz → u/[deleted]]

My fried I am so sorry to hear about your situation and believe me I know how you feel. I wish I could tell you to hang in there and that things will get better but I’m not even sure I believe that myself. I’m really not in a good place right now as my whole world just crumbled down on me. That said, I wish you well and hope you get out of it and make it big. God bless my friend

[u/hellomushisushi → u/DrFredz]

I am so sorry for what both of you have gone through. While I have not personally experienced what you are going through, please know that I look up to both of you. You each were willing to take risks and make the most of opportunities to create better lives for your families and yourselves. There is credit there you both deserve.

Tacking on to what someone else said, please research about filing bankruptcy in your area. My father is currently struggling with his business, and this is the safest way to not lose your home. It is a tactic used by the rich to cop out of taxes, avoid significant losses, etc. This is just business - they don’t let it destroy their livelihood, just by doing this. The rich stay wealthy because they understand the system and work it to their advantage. Learn the system of your area, talk to lawyers with free consults, webinars by small business associations, even your local library may have resources.

Prayers for both of you in these times 🤲

[u/DrFredz → u/hellomushisushi]

Thank you so much for your kind words. I will look into it further but the advice I got so far goes against the bankruptcy given my situation. There is also the fact that I’m in Canada, I’m not sure if the rules are the same everywhere.