I am so sad

[u/DrFredz]

I am just so sad. In short, I saved up all my life and sacrificed everything I could until the age of 38 and opened a restaurant right before COVID hit. Long story short, restaurant is sold at a major loss, life savings gone and I just put up my family home for sale to pay off my debts, will be renting because my credit is shot. Will have to take my autistic son out of his private school and put him in a crappy public school. Marriage took a major hit and I’m not sure if we’ll come out of it ok. I’m out of a job and feel like I can’t work anymore, yet I cannot afford even a week without any income.

I’ve been crying all day and I can’t stop. I’m so sad my heart physically aches. I can’t sleep and cannot hold back my tears and sadness. I know everyone will say stuff like “stay strong” and “it’ll get better” or “there are others that have it worse”, but for me, since the age of 16, I have dedicated every second of every day, made so many sacrifices and suffered so much to get somewhere where I could lead a good life and leave something good for my kids when I’m gone, only to end up with such an outcome. I am destroyed and hurting so much.

I lost hope. I was always positive even when times were hard. I always believed hard work and sacrifices will eventually pay off. I always believed that if I do good I will eventually reap the benefits. I have always tried to be kind, generous, helpful and compassionate with everyone I encountered, no matter who they were. I was religious and believed I will be rewarded for my efforts. I was wrong all along and it really really really hurts to hit the wall and find out all of it was in vain.

I’m not sure what I’m looking for by posting this but I hope to feel even a little better after putting it out there. Thanks for reading me and good luck to everyone out there, life is unfair and cruel.

[u/SJWCombatant]

OP I know a thing or two about suffering and depression, and long term investments that didn't pan out leaving me destitute. And while my problems are different enough from yours that it doesn't compare please realize we both suffer/have suffered/will continue to suffer in life. All people who are not fundamentally devoid of emotion share that with us.

Realize you aren't alone in suffering, and you have many who have sympathy for you in this tumultuous time. I know one thing that you forgot to include in your description though. You have shown remarkable confidence, bravery a solid work ethic, and don't back down from a challenge. And thats a great thing because you will need these strengths for now, and whats ahead.

Financial upheaval is at the worlds door step, and will affect all but the ones lucky enough to have insider information and money and/or resources beyond measure. You got to the point those people will be at a bit earlier than most others, and while things are changing it means that there is room for opportunity where new things can come into focus. Others will heed your wisdom when they arrive at similar trials and you will have a one up on them, and keys to the kingdom of opportunity that they will just be stepping foot into.

Perhaps a youtube or tiktok series documenting your struggles while maintaining anonymity could be profitable for you? Or even just a blog where you could develop a passive income from ad revenue. Maybe you could comment on what works and what doesn't work when opening a restaurant? Or perhaps you could study financial counseling, and aid others while you help to right your ship.

My point is that one door closing often doesn't mean you are trapped in a room with nowhere to go, it can mean having the freedom to forge new paths.

The situation with your husband and son are expectedly closer to your heart, and that pain knows no bounds, and I think no words can make that better. The feeling of inadequacy with family can make you feel irredeemably worthless, and I am guilty of that feeling as well in my past, and what I found helpful was this: Change what you have control over, stand by your convictions, and everything else will fall into place.

Btw: Some schools offer scholarships for students that are the children of employees, and you have restaraunt management skills. Seems there might be a good opportunity like that if you look for it.

OP I wish you the best of luck!

[u/DrFredz → u/SJWCombatant]

Thank you so very much for your advise and input, it is greatly appreciated. I will take the time to re-read your post when the dust settles a little, there seems to be some solid stuff in it. Right now all I can think of is the magnitude of my loss and how much I am set back and I feel paralyzed. Thanks again for your help friend.

[u/SJWCombatant → u/DrFredz]

No problem. It will work out. Keep your eye on the prize.