I (18M) have been dating my boyfriend (19M) for about 6 months and we have had a pretty rocky start to our relationship. We met just before we headed off to separate colleges and didn’t immediately bounce into the relationship. While we weren’t dating (but still were saying that we loved each other) he made out with another guy drunk and then proceeded to beg for my forgiveness and asked for us to become a couple. I agreed with some hesitation and then things smoothed out for the most part. I still kept some hesitations and reluctance in the back of my mind but I saw him for more than that.

We spent a good few months together and everything seemed perfect. He introduced me to his whole family, he always would do everything right, and honestly is a good guy all around. He makes the world seem right and I find a lot of comfort in that fact.

I must preface the oncoming statements with the fact that I know that I’m in the wrong a bit for looking through his phone (it is an invasion of privacy) but so much was going on and it was the only way I felt that I had control in the relationship.

So just about two weeks ago when he came to visit me, I looked through his phone while the opportunity presented itself because he was acting suspicious recently and not like his usual self. I thought I wasn’t going to find anything but I ended up finding texts between him and another guy where my bf sent pictures of himself (not nudes but intimate photos) for money. I also found texts with another guy but that becomes relevant later. He thinks that I’m going to break up with him and cries about it and says how it is his most hated part of himself and that he has a history of this. I ask him if there is anything that he needs to tell me besides this and he says no. I think that this is all there is to the story and I push it aside after I flaming him. We decide to keep pursuing our relationship and leave it there. Everything seems better and right so I leave it there.

So, as aforementioned there were also additional texts that seemed weird. It was between my boyfriend and one of his friends from college that he previously knew from our hometown. It seemed that my bf went over to his apartment and spent time with him, and that there was some weird sexual tension in the conversation when I read over it. I confronted my boyfriend about this and he denied ever seeing the guy and that there was nothing that happened and that I should ignore it.

Until, on Christmas after spending the day with his family, I ended up going through his phone again. The aforementioned texts that I found before ended up becoming more relevant when I found images of him (the guy my bf texted) and my bf laying in bed together and basically touching each other in sensual ways and cuddling and doing sexual things. (but not sex) This happened right before he saw me at my college (where I confronted him about everything else that happened) and he held no guilt. Not only did this happen and he didn’t want to tell me, but he also continued this behavior by sending him nudes, sensual pictures, and basically pornos when he was home (after coming home from college and proceeded to do this until Christmas Eve) and did it until I confronted him about the entire situation. When I confronted my bf, his excuse was the fact that this guy payed him for all the images taken, getting in bed with him, and any images sent.

I’m going to be honest - I think that he also liked this sexually because there is a clear indication in the photos and text messages sent that he wants to engage in this behavior and is aroused by the idea of it. And it’s just plain gross.

Keeping in mind, he says that everything he did was just because he was hurting for money and that he needed it (although I truly deep down don’t think that it adds up for a few reasons)

He broke down afterwards and basically kept saying how he was going to fix the situation and be a better bf for me going forward. He showed me that he blocked the guy, but I know that he should’ve done this AGES AGO if he truly cared. He argues that he would always love me - he just did this because it seemed easy and that it wouldn’t affect me if I was oblivious to it. Every bone in my body wants to believe that but it’s just so hard. He broke my trust and I have done nothing wrong to him and it’s just impossible to even think that this man that I loved would do that. I am really unclear with how to proceed with all this information because it isn’t directly cheating but the application of it is there. What is there to do now? I really want to stay with him but there were so many lines crossed and I feel that he can’t fix anything anymore.

Throwaway because he uses Reddit.

My boyfriend (23M) and I (22F) are reaching the end of our relationship. I can see that we clash a lot as individuals and I have told him this multiple times, but he insists on trying to fix things. I've tried to get better at communicating my feelings because it has always been hard for me (childhood issues), so I don't know if I handled this situation properly.

Yesterday, my boyfriend was acting cold towards me. When I asked why, he said we need to talk. I get really anxious about texts like that and I've told him before. I asked a few questions about it and got no response, so I called him after a few hours. I asked him what he wanted to talk to me about and he said he'll talk to me after he drops by his family's house (this would take at least 3-4 hours), so I asked if I upset him. He said I didn't upset him, so I asked what the topic was. He said he doesn't have time to explain, even though he had at least 15-20 minutes free. I explained that I was feeling anxious about it and, although we could wait to have the conversation, I'd appreciate it if he could just tell me the topic. I didn't need a long summary, just something short (for example, "my family", "my work"). Again, he said no. I said he knows that this is making me feel anxious and his refusal to even tell me the topic to alleviate that anxiety proves that he does not care about how I feel. He told me to just wait until he's finished with his family (he hadn't arrived at their house yet, though), but I said it would have taken ten seconds to tell me the topic and I didn't want to have the conversation if he doesn't care about how I'm feeling in this moment. He said okay and hung up. He'll probably ignore me and then text or call randomly in the next few days, but I don't think I'll answer anymore.

Little situations like this happen a lot and I've noticed and been told by people close to both of us that he has a problem with gaslighting, over-exaggerating things, promising things and then finding excuses not to deliver, etc. I feel like he deliberately used the words "we need to talk" to make me anxious, especially since he stopped replying immediately after and refused to even tell me what it was about, but I don't know if I'm overthinking. A part of me feels like I worded my feelings wrong, but another part of me recognizes that I tried to communicate, so I'm still proud of myself. I know the relationship is coming to a close, but I just want to know if I'm overreacting.

To start things off, on my (F26) girlfriend’s birthday I (M29) couldn’t get her a gift because of a situation that happened but I got her a 100 rose bouquet. She graduated from college and I got her another bouquet of flowers due to the situation that had happened that placed me in a financial situation. I told her my dad got me a laptop for Black Friday but she thought I was going to pay for it since he used his credit card. Mid December comes along and she’s buying herself a bunch of different things. Come Christmas Day I take her the gift I had gotten her and she then tells me that she didn’t get me anything for Christmas because she thought that since I didn’t get her a gift for her birthday and graduation I wasn’t going to give her anything on Christmas. Now she opens my gift and says she likes what I got her but if it’s possible to exchange it for something else. Is it wrong that I feel sad about the whole thing to a point that I feel numb over the whole thing?

I picked out a shirt for Sonic 3 a while back (if I can find it), it depicts Amy and Rouge, who were childhood favourites. I wore a different shirt with them and Cream to the first film, and I was hoping wearing this to the new one would mean something.

I was right.

Yesterday I got exposed to the ending, in which Amy is revealed. As sad as I am that I didn't experience it myself, I'm hyped to have a female lead. I'm worried that if I wear this shirt it would be considered a spoiler to others, who will probably all wear Shadow. I'm pretty sure not many people will notice, but if I do go on opening night it may be a problem.

ETA THIS WAS A PLANNED POST FOR AITA, I DID NOT GO ON OPENING NIGHT

Usually when I make myself coffee, I ask my husband if he wants some. Majority of the time he says no. He’s never asked me to make him coffee before unless if I’m making myself one. He had never personally come to me and ask me to make him a cup of coffee ever out of nowhere or just because before.

BIL and his wife have been staying with us for a month now. SIL knows how to work the machine and get coffee from our coffee bar if she wants to. Today I had an orange juice so I didn’t want any coffee. Once SIL woke up, my husband pulled me into the kitchen and said he wants some coffee and for me to make him, myself, and SIL coffee. I told him I didn’t want any but he said he still wants some and wants me to make one for her too. And I said I don’t know if she wants some and she knows how to make her own coffee. I also don’t know how she likes her coffee. I said if he wants some, he can make it himself but he insisted and said that he REALLY wants some coffee and for me to also make SIL one.

I made them both coffee but it’s been weirding me out. He says I’m overreacting and I’m twisted minded. Am I overreacting?

My mom is 60 and 5 years ago she had an abortion. She has severe arthritis and thought she was past the age of being able to become pregnant. My dad was diagnosed with cancer the week she found out and it was decided with her doctor that an abortion was the right decision for her. I’m the only one who knows, beside my dad, and she has told me not to share with the family because it’s her personal medical business and she loves being a mom and a grandma.

At Christmas dinner this year, abortion was brought up. Everyone was sitting around the table (me, my parents, my husband, brother, sister, and sisters husband). My brother, sister, and sisters husband all start talking about it, not really debating because they’re all against it. They were just saying really gross misinformation about “late-term abortion” and women who get an abortion after 3 weeks being murderers and belonging in prison.

It broke my heart to see my mom and dad just sitting there at the table in silence. Although they don’t know my mom has had an abortion, they know her political beliefs (liberal/democrat). So, I felt it was disrespectful to even bring politics up in the first place. My mom spent 6 hours on her feet making us all a meal and bought us all beautiful gifts and welcomed us into her home. She babysits my sister’s kids at least once a week. She’s the rock of our family and everyone talks to her almost daily on the phone. She’s SO LOVED, yet they made her feel like shit.

After a few minutes, when I realized they weren’t going to stop, I piped up and changed the topic in a comedic way like, “ANYWAY- HOW BOUT THIS WEATHER?” Everyone laughed and we moved on, except I know my mom didn’t. I know it hurts.

Obviously- I didn’t overreact in the moment, my question is, should I have been more blunt? I wanted to say “guys, obviously we disagree, but we know the statistics are true. 1/3 women will have an abortion in their life. There’s 3 of us here. It would feel terrible to have your family sit in a circle and talk about what a disgusting murderer you are as if you don’t think of it everyday already. It’s no one’s business. It’s Christmas. Move on.” Somehow, I know that would have devastated my mom even more. She’s right, it’s her business and she’s explicitly told me she doesn’t want anyone to know. What I really wish I would have done is punched someone in the jaw.

Sorry for the long post, I’m still feeling guilty today and I’m not sure what to do or what I should have done. My mom is my best friend. Thank you!

for context: my main goal is to complete makeup school and continue on perusing a career as a makeup artist. as a hobby, i like to post what i practice on myself to tiktok. i do creative makeup mostly so i’ll spend 5+ hours painting my face and i’ll make a few transition videos or just short clips showing the makeup. this conversation came about after i had posted a few tiktoks and sent them to my bf as well. initially he said he liked them and then asked about them a couple of days later. in this moment, i felt like my work was being discredited. over the course of time we’ve been together, he’s always made offhand comments about how i should “show ass” online because that would get me famous. i called him out on it before this situation and he said it was a “joke”. chat, am i overreacting for feeling like this?? i spoke to him in person about it and i still feel icky. he said i was making a big thing out of nothing and that it was common sense for me to understand that he was trying to give “constructive criticism” (y’all i went to art college this is NOT constructive criticism😭😭) anyways sorry for all the rambling fr i’m gonna delete this tomorrow probably because i’m paranoid one of his minions will find it and be like AYO YOUR GIRL IS ONLINE COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU so PLS LET ME KNOW

Today I calmly opened discord thinking nothing much of it, since I'm only in group chats with people that I know irl, but then I go across a chat that one of my friend sent, it was a WhatsApp conversation that was sent to her by my other friends, and the conversation was literally pictures of h3ntai (mind you we're minors), but what caught my attention the most is one of them sent a sticker of me after those messages without further context, that ofc grossed me out, I quickly called them out, but instead of them taking accountability, they blamed each other. The told me that I'm overreacting and that I shouldn't mind it, but I seriously feel so gross, they kept saying "it could've been a missclick" and that I'm picking on it for no reason, they also lied of it only being between 2 people but actually 3 people were involved. The thing is, is that we haven't compromised at all and they brushed the incident off like nothing saying stuff like "okay we got together" or smh like that (I don't know how to translate it due to the conversation not being in English), but I still left the group and message some of my other friends that were in the group, luckily they were on my side (the story is really hard to explain, so, sorry if you didn't understand something), now the question stands, did I really overreact?

My son is out of school for 2 weeks for the holidays. My ex and I both work full-time,but he always insists he can't shift his schedule to help with childcare for school breaks. Knowing this, I planned ahead with my son's grandma/ex's mom to make sure my kiddo had childcare for the break.

My ex finally asked what the plan for childcare was over the past 3 days. I did include him in all texts with his mom, so this info is available to him.

I explained how I had rearranged my schedule and worked with his mom to make sure our son is cared for. He had minimal reaction, just acknowledged the plan.

Am I overreacting for being annoyed that my ex didn't at least thank me? I'm working on figuring out a way to make my ex take on more without harming my son and/or causing more stress than just planning things myself would cause. I would ask my ex to sit down and help me, but it's the same thing - I get pushed off and eventually forgotten about because my ex is 'too busy'.

My best friend had been dsting a guy for a year, but a month ago they broke up.

I was so relieved when she told me. The whole relationship was a shit show. They never has more than one week of peace. They always fought ans he would say viscious shit to her. She started drinking again (she had stopped for months because she has a huge problem with it). I was always scared when she called, already imagining 1 hour on the phone of her complaining about the last fight they had. I even got to the point where when she was texting me a simple "hey" I thought "oh shit here we go again".

After a few months I told her that it was getting too much. I told her that I am tired of being sad for her and frustrated about her lack of action. She agreed that the relationship wasn't sustainable and was thinking about how and when to leave him.

For context, her and I both know what abusive relationships are and this isn't it. He is just a lazy, insecure & mean guy. We aren't dealing with physical violence or even manipulation; he's not smart enough. The main problem here is that my bff is scared of being alone and became willing to put up with a guy like him.

Flash forward last month they broke up finally. She stopped drinking again, went back to the gym, enjoyed her work and so on.

Last week they slept together and yesterday she told me she would prefer to spend new years eve with him (while I was, organizing an alcohol free, intimate new years for her).

I am just tired of seeing her sad and of our only conversations being about him or their relationship for a year. I am really depressed and trying to get out of it and I feel like this whole situation might be something that doesn't help.

Am I overeating? Am I an asshole for wanting to break off our friendship because of a guy?

Okay, so to make this a long story short. I 26 F, had to split from a very toxic relationship being a fulltime student and my mom very graciously let my daughter and I to move in with her till im graduated and working to move out. I havent really been having issues with her invading my privacy and almost treating me as if im 15 again. About 5 months ago I met my boyfriend and hit it off great. He stays over a lot, helps with cleaning and whatever else she needs help with around the home since she is 60. But lately, shes just been coming into my room unannounced while hes in here sleeping with me in the mornings. I sleep hot, so im usually not clothed enough for someone to just barge in my room. And yk common curtsy by knocking or cracking the door to announce shes about to come in so i can be decent. Well the first instant we had, we were both sleeping peacefully, i cant remember what she wanted but she figured to come in and tickle what she thought was my feet sticking out of the blankets. To her surprise, it was my boyfriend who only sleeps in his boxers. Theres been a few other issues recently with her just busting in without notice while we’re asleep. I did confront her about it nicely, just told her if she could please just announce herself because 1. i sleep basically nude at night, and 2. I have a man in here who also sleeps damn near naked. She went off on the spiel of “Oh my god, like i havent seen you naked before, changed your diapers, blah blah blah” just repeated myself to please just give me that privacy. I post on snapchat about it to get other’s opinions and my sister in law saw it and showed her the snap. She came home and immediately brought it up. I have texts between a friend of mine about how she responded to me. She constantly repeated herself how she knew how “weird i am with people coming in my room” Yet still did it multiple times. I didnt rebuttle because shes literally a brick wall. Im just tired of feeling like my privacy is non existent here. She works literally right next to where we live, so if shes out having a smoke and sees me and my bf get to the car i immediately get hammered thru text on what im doing where im going, etc. Its just frustrating. Am I over reacting?

So yeah, I combined two holidays, Christmas and New Years together. Also, I’m Jewish and this just feels more comfortable for me. And I have to say that I happily accept any type of kind salutation.

So I wished a customer happy holidays and I was sharply corrected by two other customers who said, “It’s Merry Christmas. “

I burst into tears. Never,ever would I have thought people would take my well wishes as an insult. I know it’s a maga thing and all, but what is our country coming to?

Edit: Believe it or not, I’m 67 years old and I have pretty thick skin and it surprised the hell out of me when I cried and I’m really embarrassed about it.

I’d like to point out that the men were very rude. Also, at that point we were so busy that things were chaos and the phone kept ringing and I was very stressed out.

Edit: Wow. Some of you are really missing the point.

Edit: I can no longer answer everyone individually, so I want to thank those of you who offered holiday greetings, kind words and thoughtful advice. I’ll keep reading but I don’t think I can answer everybody. Thanks again.

So my sister (F22) recently moved into me and my bf’s (M20/M20) apartment about 3 months ago. Prior to that we all talked about how she’s gonna move in and what our upcoming vacations are because we have 3 cats and a dog. We told her a year in advance before she moved in that me and my bf are going on vacation to Japan for a month (and kept mentioning it every month) She agreed she’d watch over our pets while we were away during that time.

Fast forward to today and it’s about 2 months until we leave for Japan. I’ve already booked all the hotels, plane and train tickets and reservations for our trip (that I kept my sister up to date on as well throughout the year) and my sister decides she’s going to hang out with her friends in a different state for a week. Of course I was absolutely pissed and confronted her about it, saying she would watch over my pets and kept reminding her when and how long we’ll be gone. She proceeded to call me and my bf selfish for not letting her do anything and that we get to go on vacation. We asked if she could go before or after but she said she can’t because they were gonna watch a concert on a certain day. She also told us to get a pet sitter but we are already way out of budget with all the booking and I can’t afford that. Am I overreacting and how can I resolve this problem.

TLDR; I asked my sister who lives with me and my bf to watch our pets while we’re on vacation, 9 months in advance. She decides to plan a week vacation 2 months before, in the middle of our vacation despite agreeing to help out.

20M and 20F.

I definitely feel like I’m a little bit in the wrong here/overreacting but here goes.

So we’ve been dating for a little over 2 months now and I’m currently back in California for winter break (we’re both in college) and she’s back in an east coast state. Although this problem still occurs when we’re in the same area for college. We’re doing mostly pretty well; no major/red flag arguments and we like spending time with one another.

I always get the feeling that I like her more than she does me and that’s a bit hard to deal with, but I try to manage. One way that i feel like this manifests is how much she communicates with me when we’re not together.

Again, I apologize if this sounds really dumb and trivial but I typically respond to her in like an average of <10 minutes, no matter what I’m doing, even if i’m hanging out with a friend or doing anything attention grabbing.. She’ll respond to her phone sometimes instaneouly or within a ‘normal amount of time’ or respond hours upon hours later.

Oftentimes this is because she is hanging out with ppl, out and about etcetera, but I often feel like she sometimes sees my texts and basically chooses to ignore them, like when she’s playing games on her phone or hanging out with someons. I mean, it’s impossible to know the case for every single case in which she leaves me hanging.

Also, she has ADHD and does not take the meds for it, which i don’t call out bc anyone can do what they want with how they treat their disorders.

So she’ll respond to my texts like anywhere from 1-6 hours later and then the whole time I’m waiting for a response i just get more stressed out, i start thinking about what she could be doing so as to not check her phone, or like just getting irritated and sad when she does this. then when she finally does respond, one of two things happen: she doesnt acknowledge why she took longer to respond most of the time, or she’ll just like facetime me as a response.

Both are hard to deal with because when she responds via text but doesnt acknowledge the huge space in communication I’m like kinda pissed but dont want to be angry with her or call her out for it because she’s now remedying the problem and probably in a good mood so i don’t just wanna attack her.

Then when she calls me, we just start talking and i feel like i dont have a good justification to bring up the gap in responses. So i just dont say anything.

I brought it up a couple times and those have been our only mini arguments, but she always breaks down what she did and it seems reasonable and she just says like “those are my texting habits” and that she just wont change that.

I know that this sounds very anxious attachmenty but im trying to work on that (thats why i dont blow up on her everytime) and i know that adult dating is completely different than this; a normal response time might be days for some people. But i don’t know, we’re both 20 years old and on our phones all the time so I feel hurt by this. What should I do

I also feel like this is a trivial enough problem that it doesn’t warrant a breakup over so I’m just not considering that. I mean she’s pretty special to me and I don’t wanna ruin a good thing over something so dumb.

It’s been a rough year. I finished college in 2023, wanted to do grad school, but moved back home at my mom’s insistence. Immediately got entangled into my toxic family and remembered why I left.

Came home to my shitty drug addicted brothers and despot father running the house, my mom running ragged raising her grandkids and trying to hold it together. I pushed my older brothers into rehab, one after the other.

Then my parents bought each of them houses to live and run as elderly board and care (family business).

Then my dad cheated on my mom and she kicked him out. The family dynamic drastically changed. I had to spend months holding her together, holding the house together, working on getting their newest facility up and running while both of them were going insane. After almost a year, she started getting back to normal, and they decided to work things out. Theyre back together but just as toxic. Whatever dude.

In the meantime, I’ve been trying to get my shit together. I moved out, I’m applying for grad school, trying to get my ass as far away from this bullshit as possible.

My mom is insisting that I don’t go. Her and my dad just bought a fucking house and say it’s my house. The key was in my stocking as my gift from Santa. They have a five year plan, for me to live down the street from my fuck ass brothers and run my own facility in the family business. It’s freaking me out.

Am I being fucking stupid? I feel like my future is being suffocated out, my mom gets in my ear and tells me I wont make it through grad school, I’m too mentally ill for a normal job, they’re doing this to help me, why do I have to take it as a bad thing, I can make so much money, I can have freedom and success like no one else my age, why do I wanna stick to my peers when they’re going nowhere. I tried working with them this past year and it’s so fucking awful and I’m barely making enough to cover rent, I’m literally on EBT and Medi-Cal, so IDEK what they’re saying about money when I’m scraping by working for them as is. The stipulation working for them is I have to live on site to run the elderly facility, while they get 1/2 the profit. Fair enough but it’s not a free and clear house, and it’s not mine, it’s a job and a place to live, and a lifetime commitment. I didn’t buy it, it’s not under my name, I didn’t ask for it, I didn’t plan for it, they just sprung it on me acting like I’m supposed to be happy when it’s not even “mine”, it’s just another expansion to their business.

I’m only 24. I told them today to stop calling it my house and my mom was butthurt. Am I crazy for not wanting this house?

Ughhh context: I’m away for the week and usually I call my boyfriend before bed. It was around 10 p.m. and due to his work (he works nights) he usually is awake until about 4-5 a.m. (He did not work tonight tho) so I got ready for bed after hanging out with family and called him before I showered. He answered and made no indication of going to sleep anytime soon, I told him I would call him again when I’m in bed he said ok. I take a shower and get ready for bed and call him. No answer. I let it be for awhile and then call once more. No answer: we have an Alexa and it has a drop-in feature: so I used that feature to listen to see if he was an asleep in our room. He wasn’t. Instead I heard the downstairs TV on. When he usually watches TV downstairs he lights the candles so then I started getting very worried that he fell asleep (or worse cause I’m just really anxious) and that he left the candles burning. So because he’s not answering and there’s no one I know that’s in town to check on him. I order DoorDash and tell them to knock on the door and ring the doorbell. Well this works and he wakes up. He’s mad at me and told me I’m overreacting and I probably am. I just get really anxious :(

I'll start this by saying we met mid December 2023 and immediately hit it off, by February we started saying "I love you" to each other (I know it's fast shush) and although we never really had a talk about making it "official" by the time we said we loved each other I was under the impression that we were definitely exclusive. At the time we were falling asleep on call every night and hanging out almost every week when we were free.

A couple months ago he was on his instagram in front of me and I saw messages between him and a girl with a pretty provocative PFP. And although I know this is wrong, I went through his phone the next morning while he was still asleep. Keep in mind we are in August now so we have been dating for a couple months and it's definitely official. Anyways I saw a couple of recent messages between them, nothing toonalarming so I was about to turn off his phone when I saw an ass pic she had sent him. I checked the date and it was the 25th of Feb. I scrolled up some more and saw they started talking sexually about the 15th of Feb, before that the conversations were strictly friendly. The way they started talking more sexually was when he said he had something to tell her which after her prying for more info turned out to be him confessing his attraction to her.

She reciprocated and they would sext and talk a lot throughout those couple days. He would call her beautiful and all these other names and tell her how much she turned him on. The part that hit me the hardest is one night she called him randomly at about 1am - me and him were on call at the time and I was fast asleep - and when he asked her if she's okay she replied saying that she was just bored and wanted to talk. At that point he hung up on me and called her for hours. That part hurt me more than anything for some reason.

Eventually the texts stopped for a while before the most recent ones where they werent being sexual or anything. he never mentioned me once in their messages and there is nothing on his account that indicated that he had a girlfriend which sucks because not only was he lying to me but also to her.

I can't begin to explain the mental breakdown I had. Because I have BPD however, I tend to doubt if I am overreacting or not as my emotions can very quickly spiral over small things. Input from someone who thinks more rationally than me would be so appreciated even if it's harsh.

Ever since I saw those messages I have had no trust in him at all, however I do try my best to keep it to myself as I don't ever want to be controlling and jealous because I know that can quickly ruin a relationship. Please tell me if this is something I should act on or just forget, I think about this almost every day even though it happened months ago. Every time he calls me beautiful I think about how he was saying the same thing to her. Every time I wake up and out call is hung up I worry that he hung up on me to talk to another girl. It's frankly driving me insane and I can't talk to my best friend about it because I feel all her answers are very biased towards me.

TLDR - my boyfriend was sexting another girl when I thought me and him were official as we were saying ily to each other.

For context: my boyfriend used to have alcohol issues mostly before we started dating where he would drink constantly until he vomits or passes out every day and has a pretty addictive personality. After we started dating he weaned himself off on his own unbeknownst to me at the time but has opened up to me about his issues with drinking and if we fight he will go drink in secret to cope with our arguing (we fight maybe twice a year).

I am a lightweight so I don’t drink every day and will usually drink with him on his off days with dinner or if I go out with him we’ll have drinks at a bar but I can’t tolerate more than a couple drinks or I feel sick. Now here’s the issue - I feel strange about his daily drinking and feel like he’s drinking a lot more than he’s letting on at work since he got a new job that allows drinking on shift. It’s pretty upsetting because every time I try to confront him about it he brushes it off as no big deal but when he comes home after work he smells like cigs and booze and he’s slurring his words, dropping things, and falling down but he blames it on it being an accident. On his days off he wants to drink with me but I’m realizing he’s drinking every single day. Whenever we buy wine we get a litre and a half and I’ll have a glass but then the next day the bottle is empty or gone. I can’t really track his drinking because I’m not with him all the time and not counting his consumption. Is drinking every day normal for people and especially bartenders? I feel like I might be overreacting because I know bartenders need to drink for their job and I don’t have alcohol tolerance so yeah what do you think/what advice can you give me?

tldr; boyfriend used to have alcohol abuse problem and now that he is a bartender he is drinking heavily again and it bothers me

for context, i (18F) have been friends with my guy best friend (19M) for about 3 years now. i used to have a crush on him for a long time before we were friends, and once he found out he friendzoned me. ever since that point, our friendship has blossomed and the whole me liking him thing became our inside joke. he has been like an older brother to me and has genuinely been such an amazing friend to me. we used to tell each other everything and we would do practically everything together, and he always gives the best advice for anything even if it’s something that i don’t want to hear.

this past year he’s left for college that is 7 hours away from our hometown and i knew it was going to put a strain on our friendship. he is very bad with responding to texts messages and takes days at a time to respond. several times now i have reached out to him to try and hang out or update him on something in my life, and he either ignores the message completely or he changes the subject to something about him. i sent him a message almost a week ago now and he even told me that he saw my message and that he just didn’t respond. since i thought he was my best friend i keep messaging and trying to plan things, but i feel like the friendship has become one-sided. i don’t know what to do at this point. do i try and salvage the friendship or just accept that we’ve grown apart and stop reaching out? i feel like ive just put so much effort in to only be shut down time and time again.

We have been ~together for 3 years. We broke up 1 year ago, and he fought very hard to get us back together, we are together since March 2024.

In 2023 he was abroad for a job. While there, he made a few friends, some girl friends. I am normally jealous, I am not gonna lie, but one relationship in particular bothered me a lot. They would spend a lot of time together - sometimes the whole day, doing different activities, museums, taking a stroll in the park, then going for food. And then the next day they would meet again. I always thought (and clearly said it) that imo this was way too romantic, and beyond a normal friendship. She would also give him advice on everything, including our relationship. She's the kind of person that tells you what yo do the whole time, which I don't appreciate.

I have always told him that I was not comfortable, he always argued that nothing would ever happen, and that he felt really lonely being in a new country, so having this friendship was very important to him. Eventually she moved a couple hours away. He went to visit her for a weekend after a couple of months (!). I made clear this was not ok for me, he went anyway. He would have stayed at her place if it wasn't for me. I honestly don't see a lot of people in relationships being ok with this, all the while you are on the other side of the ocean. Am I crazy?

All the while I am trying not to be jealous, but i also dont wanna be dumb. We have several discussions and fights over this. He moved back home by the end of last year. So did she (she's from the same country as him), so now they live in the same country. When he told me that she was moving back, he was very excited, and thought it was weird I was not happy to see "one of his closest friends" coming back. So she graduated from a friend he needed because he was lonely to "one of his closest friends". I thought I would not have to deal with this anymore, since he was not lonely and abroad anymore. Fights, fights, fights.

They met a few times, and I am always unhappy about it. He know damn well I don't like it, and that I think the kind of relationship they had while abroad is not a straight forward friendship, I mean spending soooo much time together 1:1, sharing desserts, etc, but this has never stopped him. I think I cannot get over this.

Recently he said he was holding back on meeting her because it made me uncomfortable, but he thinks it's not ok that I stop him from having this friendship so he won't hold back anymore. He has many friends in his home country, and many girl friends. But this one I don't like, and I feel like the fact that he continues to see her - and wants to meet her more often - despite the fact that it makes me really unhappy means something.

If I had met a new guy friend, and me spending (a lot of) alone time with them made him this uncomfortable, I would not pursue it. I have friends, and I need my friends, but a new person that creates this kind of feeling in my relationship is just not worth the hurt imo. It's not an old friend (now it'd been a couple of years, but only because he purposely put a lot of effort in this, despite how it made me feel).

Am I being unreasonable? I dont want to live with this feeling. I am having doubts if I am able to get over it. Am crossing a line meddling in his friendships? Does the fact that he refuses to step back from this relationship even thought it causes me so much stress mean something? Please help me navigate this.

Tldr: bf has a female friend that I think he spent way too much time with, and he won't back down even though it makes me very unhappy.

Firstly i’m extremely sorry if this is incorrect. I dated this guy for a few months when I just turned 16. At first I thought things were going to be great… that quickly changed he became vv obsessive. Constantly making comments about my body and telling me he would look people up on prn that looked like me… I remember i felt so disgusting but also this was my first boyfriend so he made me feel like how he was acting was normal. I constantly felt pressured by him he wanted to rush everything and I didn’t I wanted to get more comfortable with him. He was always touchy at time when it was not necessary and I clearly seemed like I didn’t not want to he knew he was my first boyfriend and was nervous. He would just tell me it was fine so i felt like I was just being sensitive. He would constantly ask me over and over after I said no multiple times ( he wanted me to kiss him goodbye we had been talking for a week I simply just didn’t want to and he kept pulling me back every time I tried to leave ) then he would just make me feel bad about saying no to things. I felt like he constantly was just in my head in one breath he was acting like that then other times he would do something really nice. Eventually I had some girls that knew him come up to me and tell me I needed to get out that they knew him and he wasn’t a good guy . I absolutely freaked out I already felt trapped and felt like he had already crossed some boundaries

Ultimately I needed out and broke up with him but things only got worse from there. He told me he was going to harm himself. He went driving recklessly... long story short someone got him to go home. He would continuously blow up my phone and my friend's phone trying to get me to get back with him, or trying to figure out where I am and what i'm doing. He would send me videos of him sobbing and saying he hasn't been able to eat for days. He would text me that he would go and just sit at places we would hangout... you can see my room from the street and he would literally text me what color my lights were on or send me videos of him driving c saying he going to hit the guard rail after i repeatedly asked him to stop. One of the last things was he found out me and a friend of mine were at subway and showed up there… after like a month or 2 he finally left me alone.

I (25F) moved in with a friend (31F) in mid-November 2024. We’ve known each other for about two years, and I moved into one of her spare rooms to save money and pay off debt. She owns her home, has two cats, and is the caretaker for her grandfather.

Over the last six months, her life has been chaotic. She hates her toxic job but hasn’t been able to find a new one. Her grandfather has serious health issues, including cancer and uncontrolled diabetes, requiring constant doctor’s appointments. On top of all this, she had to put down her childhood dog in June, which was really hard for her. She’s also on the board of a nonprofit, heavily involved in our church (with commitments outside of Sundays), and plays tennis 2-3 times a week.

When I moved in, we agreed I’d help with her cats, cook occasionally, and pay $600 in rent. Soon after, she started talking nonstop about wanting another dog—specifically a puppy. I was against this idea because I felt like she already had too much on her plate and was constantly overwhelmed. I told her all the reasons why I didn’t think it was a good idea.

At first, we agreed to reevaluate in six months (May). Then she decided she’d wait until she reached her weight loss goal (March). Later, her therapist suggested reevaluating every two months (February).

Fast forward to the holidays: I left on Thursday to visit my family out of state. On Saturday morning, she called me, but I missed it. When I called back on Sunday, she showed me a puppy over FaceTime. I hung up.. . She called back and said she needed the dog, and that her therapist and coworkers told her she should get it . Maybe I don’t feel the way that she feels but I just didn’t understand why she needs it while she has all these things going on. I feel like you could want a dog… but need it?

Now I feel stuck. It’s her house and her dog, but I live there too, and I’m worried she’s going to ask me to help with the puppy, which I never wanted. I’m upset because I feel like this decision adds even more stress to an already overwhelming situation and I’m going to have to help out with the dog now when she’s inevitably busy. I can’t just up and leave now due to financial constraints but feel that should look into it even more now.

Am I overreacting?

i’ve always had a problem with this friend requiring a lot of attention which is something that has been addressed multiple times over the years and only has gotten worse since i’ve had a child of my own. the text about the other kids not being mine is true. i love kids, a lot of the kids in my family were raised by me in early childhood so all kids in my family are referred to as my children. it’s a running joke in my family but not really a joke, i’m basically the bonus parent and on call nanny which is something i love. this year my family rented cabins in wisconsin, my christmas gift to everyone was for my husband and i to deal with all the kids, putting gifts together, etc while the adults enjoyed the rest of the resort. this is something my friend knew about. am i being dismissive? this particular friend isn’t close with her family and is in a poor financial situation so the holidays is a bad time for her mentally but take that anger out on me you know? am i over reacting by reading this as jealousy toward the kids? do you guys think that’s not what’s happening here? the whole “putting everyone before me” and “only one is actually your kid” thing in reference to kids threw me off. i even spent time with her and gave her a gift before leaving because i knew she’d be weird about not having my attention on christmas day. not pictured is a 5 min long instagram voice message ahe sent earlier about feeling as if i wasn’t making our friendship a priority so that’s how i knew she was intoxicated. at first i thought she was joking who my texts in the beginning were meant to be lighthearted.

I (28F) have always had long hair, maybe with a few sensible layers. I was excited to switch things up with a short, shaggy haircut - think Hayley Williams’ current hair. I got the haircut a couple days ago and I really like it a lot, though I’m still learning how to style it right.

When I got back from the salon my dad said “someone your age won’t know who this is but you look like Rod Stewart from the back.” I do know what Rod Stewart looks like, and I was hurt, but I just said something like “wow that’s not really a compliment” and let it go.

Just now, my mom walked in when I was drying my hair and said “wow! You look like a Beatle!” I kind of laughed in disbelief. “What do you mean a Beatle? Like the male musicians?” And she tried to backpedal and say “no I just mean you look like a cool Londoner!”

I know, I know, this is all pretty funny. But as background, I’m extremely insecure in my femininity and my appearance. Debilitatingly so, until the last few years with therapy and inner work. My parents don’t really know the extent of it. These comments about my hair have made me want to crawl in a hole and hide from the world, I’m so embarrassed to be seen. My mom has similar appearance issues and is constantly insulting her own appearance. I have suggested therapy for this but she has refused.

And here’s where I think I overreacted. I kind of escalated and made it clear I was extremely insulted by that comment and left the room obviously upset. A few minutes later, she came back and apologized and said “I just meant that it’s amazing how versatile that haircut is, the Beatles had a very effeminate look, etc.” And I’m not proud of this, but I loudly laughed at her attempt to explain. I just don’t understand how she thought I would be anything but hurt by the comment. She was hurt at this and said something like “well clearly you’re going to hate me for this for the rest of your life.” I know that last statement was an overreaction on her part, but I do think her attempt to make amends was genuine.

I since went back and tried to accept her apology but things are really tense with us now and I’m feeling really bad for how I reacted to what was probably just a clumsy attempt at a compliment and her genuine attempt to apologize and explain. Did I overreact?

TLTR: I break things off because the male best friend of the woman im dating still lust over her.

I [M33] started dating this woman [F33] last August, she was a coworker who for personal reasons moved away from the place we worked and during the vacation period we started to talk and things were going well, since the beginning I knew she's a very busy woman who is very well known in town I work and since I'm not a clingy guy, I rolled up even when there wasn't much time available to see each other.

Moving forward and after some ups and downs this male friend appears in one of those downs commenting on her social media (and getting lots of attention from her) and after I expressed my worries she told me it was her "bestie" and he knew about us. Things improved between us until last week. First she turned down and invitation to see each other even when we both are in a vacation period, and since the last weekend she barely replied my texts and when she does it was just brief responses or just reactions. Since isn't the first time I didn't took it personally until two days ago she reposted a instagram story from that "best friend" with a song video that said how much he still desire her and "feel butterflies" when she's around. I got mad at first but waited until tomorrow to reach her, her excuse was that they're just friends and he have a girlfriend. To make things worse today when I woke up, she had put his name on his bio with the following emojis 🤍🔒.

This is when I decided to have enough and tell her that no matter how much I appreciate her (I really do) I feel things aren't gonna work between us. After reading that she got mad and again double down telling me that he's a friend, knew about us and show me a pic of his gf, and blocked me from all the places.