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u/wackfree 9d ago
you came from my balllls man.... craazy
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u/ShreksToes24 9d ago
read this in tommy chong's voice
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u/According-Rise-3708 8d ago
if you don’t read this in tommy chong’s voice you have no right smoking weed. I don’t make the rules, it is what it is
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u/coreyabak 8d ago
It’s from a Dave Chappell stand up bit.
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u/According-Rise-3708 8d ago
What are you talking about dude? I’m just referring to how I said it in my head. Idgaf if Dave Chapelle said it😭😂
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u/samyistired 8d ago
he's saying that if someone read it in dave chappell's voice, it would be just as valid as the tommy chong voice..
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u/MagnificentNerd 9d ago
I wish I’d been high when my sons were born…labor probably would have been easier 🤣🤣🤣
(I did not have an epidural with either, and while they had given me IV pain meds, I’m highly resistant and therefore didn’t get any effect (affect?) from them)
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u/Hoxford 9d ago
Oh, that's an interesting point! Would being baked during labor help in any way? Would it be harmful to the baby? Etc.
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u/remedial-gook 9d ago
it wouldn't harm the baby, that's why they can give the medications they give during labor because it's theoretically close enough time to when the umbilical cord will be cut the baby shouldn't absorb anything
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u/McNemo 8d ago
Yup! Didn't even consider that gonna pass the idea to my pregnant friend
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u/Morphine_monarch 8d ago
Unless you can provide multiple studies showing that it wouldn’t harm the baby then be quiet.
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u/remedial-gook 7d ago
bruh, look at the studies showing why it's safe to administer fentanyl and shit during labor and there ya go ding dong, I'm talking from experience not out of my ass buddy.
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u/Morphine_monarch 7d ago
Fentanyl is not weed. They’re different drugs, unless you have studies showing WEED is safe to use while in labour then be quiet, people like you kill people because you assume
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u/l0verher0in 8d ago
In compton Los angels they administrate 2(Coc-H+Cl−) + (NH4)2CO3 → 2 Coc + 2 NH4Cl + CO2 + H2O as early as possible
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u/Rangtangtangtang 8d ago
PSA for those who don't know: Smoking weed increases anesthetic resistance, and you need more for pain relief or surgery. Make sure to tell your anesthesiologist this; otherwise, you might wake up halfway through surgery!
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u/MagnificentNerd 8d ago
Interesting! I’m fucked either way. red headed genetics…. I’ve woken up in surgery before a few times
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u/Tarl_Cabot 9d ago
You didn't get any effect. R.A.V.E.N. Remember, affect verb, effect noun
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u/El_sone 8d ago
I like that, hadn’t heard that mnemonic before!
I’ve been remembering the difference by where the first letter of each word falls in the alphabet:
Affect is a verb, both words sandwich the next two in terms of alphabetical order. Effect is a noun, both words sit between affect and verb
Somehow makes sense in my head 🤷🏻♂️
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u/AverageJoeAndJane 9d ago
Yeah, as an engineering major and very technically minded person, that doesn't help me at all... Not saying you didn't try. But those things just don't stick in my brain.
"Noun, verb, adverb" you might as well just say "word, word, word"
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u/Professional-Tear420 8d ago
Effect is what something does to you, affected is how something is effected. If I remember correctly correct.
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u/According-Rise-3708 7d ago
i’m to baked to remember which effect/affect it’s supposed to be. we get you😭😂
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u/DarkMistressCockHold 8d ago
“Affect” is usually a verb that means “to influence” or “to impact”, while “effect” is usually a noun that means “the result” or “the consequence”:
Soooo…the IV meds don’t EFFECT you. I think that’s right.
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u/cap_crunchy 8d ago
The original comment should use effect but your modified sentence should use affect.
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u/Graardors-Dad 9d ago
Man watching my wife give birth was so stressful I don’t think I could have handled it stoned
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u/The_D1rty_Squ1rt13s 8d ago
It's how I had to handle it lol shit was stressful and I couldn't stop over worrying about things go right and whether or not if my wife or son were going to be happy and healthy after. I had to literally take a chill sesh out at the car when I picked our stuff up from home just so I could be the best support I know I can be. I hated being an anxious locked up turd lol. I can't wait to tell my son when he's older the real whole birthing story.
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u/travelingenie 9d ago
My partner was in labor for 72 hours, 36 at home, and the remaining at the hospital, my homies actually drove up to the hospital at 11pm to smoke me out while I was waiting for my daughters arrival.
Truly peak moments to be baked
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u/BigPeace888 9d ago
If my friends don't do this for me I will question if I actually have any real friends
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u/travelingenie 9d ago
Not too many real ones left, and moments like that weed em out
Can confirm, dad jokes do get better
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u/401jamin 9d ago
For my first child my friend did this for me. I’m still the hospital with my second child and I’m debating having my homie stop by lol
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u/agoodfuckingcatholic 9d ago
The night I was born, my father, godfather and some family friends all went to the bar that night and there was a HUGE brawl. My godfather called my old man before it started, he told my dad to start the fight, he said this is your trouble, you start it.
My godfather lifted his beer above his head, finishes it, and slammed it on some dudes head who was nappin in a bar stool, that big farmer woke up, reached back and started pounding my godfathers face. All hell broke loose after that
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u/PubG4YouAndMe 9d ago
Sounds awful tbh lol
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u/strangetomatoe 9d ago edited 9d ago
Sounds like someone just watched 'The Boondock Saints' for the first time
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u/ldLoveToTurnYouOn 9d ago
There is a time and a place to be high. The birth of your child isn’t one of those places.
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u/cynicsjoy 9d ago
THANK YOU. These comments were making me feel like I’m crazy for thinking this is sad. If you can’t even be sober for your child’s birth you have a problem.
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u/llamalalley 8d ago
My wife pushed for three hours in the hospital and as soon as she came out I got so light headed from the rush of emotions that I almost passed out. Highest I’ve ever been!
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u/funkdialout 9d ago
One man’s sacrilege is another’s joy. I have CPTSD and AudHD. Cannabis was the reason I was able to be present and supportive to my spouse during the birth of our children instead of silent, withdrawn and panicking.
And yes the # of prescribed meds I had tried is over 70. It wasn’t till after genetic testing that I had to pay out of pocket for that I learned I had several mutations that made the majority of antipsychotics at best ineffective and at worst made me actively suicidal.
It’s easy to judge others when you don’t understand what it’s like to wake up and be them for a day.
Maybe this guy is just some jackass who is selfish, or maybe he was using the tools at his disposal he needed to be there.
And because there will inevitably be someone looking for an argument, no this doesn’t mean I condone any and all drug use around a child.
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u/FaltusSackus 8d ago
Whenever someone comments anything remotely negative about cannabis consumption people with weed prescriptions show up and act like it's a 50/50 which it isn't. It's simply false balancing
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u/ContentWeakness 8d ago
I mean give the guy the benefit of the doubt? Maybe he was smoking when her water broke!
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u/ldLoveToTurnYouOn 8d ago
Ehhh, even then when you know your wife is that close to giving birth I think you should be perpetually prepared at every moment
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u/Le0_ni 9d ago
That’s… actually kind of sad. You should be able to put down the za long enough to be sober for the birth of your child.
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u/ciwyw1 9d ago
i’m glad i’m not the only one thinking this… i smoke everyday and still i’m upset at ts. put it down, the moment is enough ESPECIALLY AT THE BIRTH OF YOUR C H I L D
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u/Le0_ni 9d ago
Same, im by no means anti weed but c’mon. You should be clear minded for something like this.
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u/wavyboiii 9d ago
The dissociative power of weed could never convince to smoke at my children’s birth. It is too special, and for me, weed would suppress some emotions of the moment.
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u/ciwyw1 9d ago
i didn’t even think about it like that i was thinking in terms of memory, like how are you going to remember the smells,sounds and feelings in the room if you’re high asf i don’t get it??? and remembering THOSE moments should be top priority but for some it’s clearly not which is disappointing asf.
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u/Koibi214 8d ago
I'm not saying this IS the case for him, but some people, me included, with aphantasia can't do any of that, I can recognize those things if they happen to pop back up, but when I imagine sight, nothing, imagine a scent, nothing, my memory ability is entirely based on describing my surroundings to myself, and sometimes weed makes me think of a fun way to present something and it sticks in my memory far longer than way.
I agree being blasted is definitely not the way to go though.
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u/GiganteTNC 9d ago
I was not high for the first and was blitzed for the second no diference at all.
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u/MonkeyBrick 9d ago
Whats so insane to me is that their wife is struggling to birth their child and he's looking to get high...
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u/SoftestBoygirlAlive 9d ago edited 9d ago
Then again, a lot of the times babies are born when you least expect it and come quick. High probability dad was baked when the water broke. That or the labor went on for a really long time and then suddenly baby. I have many younger siblings and niblings and some were hours/days long ordeals, and some came very quickly and easily. Anywho, seems like everyone involved is ok with it
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u/g00fyg00ber741 8d ago
Thanks for responding to their extremely judgmental and stigmatizing comment with a sensible and reasonable perspective.
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u/AVeryHighPriestess 9d ago
Maybe he took an edible not expecting his wife to give birth an hour later
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u/remedial-gook 9d ago
man y'all have way too low of tolerances
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u/SylvesterLundgren 9d ago
I don’t even think it’s tolerances for most people. For 10-15 years I could smoke all day and not think about it. The last 5 years or so a flip switched and I just cannot function while high. Doesn’t matter how much or how little, it just doesn’t work. Same quality of stuff too.
Bodies are different and change once in awhile. Same reason why some people can face a 200mg edible and feel slightly buzzed while another dude could stretch that into getting high 10 times.
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u/remedial-gook 9d ago
that is very true, everyone's different. some people can function, some people can't
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u/Dependent_Stop_3121 9d ago
After you have a baby at the hospital they teach you how to roll your newborn up into a “swaddle”.
They teach you proper blanket placement and how to tuck the corners and how to get a nice tight roll.
It’s pretty much like rolling your baby up into a joint. Minus the grinding step. lol 😂
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u/ljshea1 9d ago
Y'all need help. Imagine being so addicted you have to get baked while your wife is going through the most painful, potentially traumatic moments of her life. How could anyone say with pride, "yeah the first time I held my child I was ripped out of my gourd lol". Sad af
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u/miraclewhipisgross 8d ago
Nobody said she didn't just randomly have her water break while he was baked as shit. Afaik water breaking is pretty unpredictable.
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u/Previous_String_4347 8d ago
Yeah Bro it's not addictive now pass me the j so I can be happy for the birth of my son
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u/secretgargoyles 8d ago
ngl this isn’t cute 😭 you’ve got every day of your life to smoke weed—some days you abstain
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u/Jonsa123 8d ago
As a life long stoner, I can honestly say that when each of my four kids was born I was naturally high for a couple of days. Smoke a celebratory joint after each and all they did was make my eyes red cause I was so high already.
The very best days of my life.
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u/reevoknows 9d ago edited 9d ago
I was high when my twins were born but it was an accident kinda lol. My wife got induced and it was moving really slowly, the doctor said she should be fully dilated by 6pm, it was 2pm at that time so I thought I’d go hit my vape pen and take a nap well I did that and when I came back I got comfy on the couch and what felt like 10 minutes later the nurse came in to check things out and my wife was ready to go lmao needless to say my anxiety was through the roof. My wife started pushing and that was enough to sober me up lol
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8d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Bearking422 8d ago
My dad doesn't have the name he was supposed to or a middle name cause grampa was stoned to the gills when he was born,grandma was calling him Jason for a while before she saw Orion on the BC 😂
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u/Puakkari 8d ago
I was only inhaling laughing gas. My wife couldnt somehow start it cos you needed to inhale so hard that it started the flow. So I started the flow and sometimes gave some for my wife.
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u/bluntly-chaotic 8d ago
Beautiful.
My godfather brought brownies when I was born
My grandma ate one, she denies she was stoned but everyone else in my family swears she was.
Even people who wouldn’t joke around like that lol
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u/hallowblight 9d ago
Not normally the person to be complimenting babies but damn that is a CUTE ASS baby
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u/ganjagilf 8d ago
lol while i was in the hospital getting induced with my first, my fiancé made a quick trip back home to get things we needed, and he came back high not too long before it was time for me to push. baby was coming out crazy fast so the nurse basically made me hold him in while she got the doctor, and my high ass baby daddy/fiance/love of my life just reached in between my legs and started poking our sons slimy head like “woooaaahh”
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u/LadyOfTheMorn 9d ago
Dad? But he looks more grandpa age here.
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u/GothJosuke 9d ago
Some people have kids in their 30s and 40s because they wanted to wait and enjoy their 20s without kids, happens all the time
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u/Separate_Place1595 9d ago
My daughter was born via c section 4 months ago. I got up. Took a nice drag of my pen. Went to hospital. Took a couple puffs outside. Went inside and had the most wonderful moment of my life. Highly recommend it.
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u/TurdManDave 9d ago
"Look at this little dude"