r/thanksimcured Jun 03 '22

[deleted by user]

[removed]

4.2k Upvotes

156 comments sorted by

1.0k

u/infinitecontent17 Jun 03 '22

Literally the worst thing you can do when shipwrecked.

379

u/Mediocre_Resort4553 Jun 04 '22

Yea like some make shift raft is going to be able to handle the open ocean

181

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22 edited Jun 08 '23

[deleted]

27

u/LifelessLewis Jun 04 '22

This hit me deep

51

u/RickMuffy Jun 04 '22

Food, water, shelter. That rafts not gonna provide much, if any, of those.

28

u/ThePandarantula Jun 04 '22

Even if you can build a solid enough raft, unless you have nautical maps with some detail of currents and the like you will have no way of judging if you're going the right way or if you're just getting pulled further out to sea.

16

u/Gaboo42069 Jun 04 '22

But that’s what they do in the movies so it must work.

655

u/Malachite_Cookie Jun 03 '22

That guy is gonna be dead within the week. However, if you stay put, you might have a chance

346

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

244

u/Malachite_Cookie Jun 03 '22

That’s not even the point though that raft will be immediately destroyed by waves and then he’s left in the open ocean with nothing

181

u/thefirewarde Jun 03 '22

Plus islands are easier to see from the air and they don't move around much.

81

u/Malachite_Cookie Jun 03 '22

…much?

110

u/beholdersi Jun 03 '22

If you’re not moving at all a search plane is either not gonna spot you or assume you’re dead. If you range too far, like this dumb bastard, they’ll never find you. Set up a camp, set up a signal, and hunker down. Focus on your essentials for survival: shelter, potable water, food, in that order.

85

u/Malachite_Cookie Jun 03 '22

Just train a pack of dolphins and ride them to land

51

u/Smasher_WoTB Jun 03 '22

Better yet, Sea Turtles mate

29

u/Brad_Brace Jun 03 '22

And when they do, they make weird as fuck sounds. No, wait, those are tortoises. Never mind.

5

u/Smasher_WoTB Jun 03 '22

You didn't get the reference.....

24

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Better yet, Sea Turtles mate

Or just dig up the rum you buried on the island and have a grand ole time.

6

u/princeralsei Jun 04 '22

I used it to make a fire, sorry not sorry.

6

u/ParaspriteHugger Jun 03 '22

or the bodies of your shipmates.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 10 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Malachite_Cookie Jun 10 '22

Depends on the dolphins

12

u/thefirewarde Jun 03 '22

If I don't leave some wiggle room, someone's gonna call me on continental drift.

3

u/LittleBigHorn22 Jun 04 '22

I know I was about to.

5

u/24Cones Jun 04 '22

Surprise, the earth moves! Our tectonic plates shift and grind against each other

3

u/steen311 Jun 04 '22

Some islands also move a bit from sand being eroded from one side and deposited on the other

3

u/Peach_Gfuel Jun 04 '22

Some islands go underwater once in a while if im not mistaking

2

u/CdRReddit Jun 04 '22

continental drift

1

u/ElephantRattle Jun 04 '22

plate tectonics, bro

4

u/VioletteKaur Jun 04 '22

Dumb fuck didn't even took the coconuts from the tree.

HAHAHAHA.

4

u/summertimesmadness Jun 03 '22

Hm seems like he has all the time in the world teaching himself to fish and find a way to boil the water 🤔

3

u/KuijperBelt Jun 04 '22

Thanks I'm coconut cured

0

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

Dumb fuck didn't even took

I R O N I C

6

u/Bessini Jun 04 '22

A week? I like your optimism

7

u/qwerty12qwerty Jun 04 '22

Yeah. This used to be a right verse left meme before it showed up here. Dude on the left is counting on the structures we have built in society to rescue him well the guy on the right is... Trying to do it himself.

182

u/GamerGever Jun 03 '22

This guy's gonna die, lost in the ocean.

160

u/linuxgeekmama Jun 03 '22

First guy was doing pretty much what you’re supposed to do in this situation. He has made a sign that he is there, visible from the air. He’s staying out of the sun (to the best of his abilities) under the tree.

23

u/webcrawler0112092001 Jun 04 '22

Yeah. Even if he survives out on the ocean, a tiny raft is much less visible.

98

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Weird take on the actual lesson. Nobody survives hardships alone. You're better off staying put than braving the ocean in a poorly made raft.

55

u/iamacraftyhooker Jun 03 '22

Do people think he just landed on an island with HELP written on it? Asking for help from someone with better resources/knowledge than you is often better than trying to fumble around figuring it out yourself?

Using the logs to write help was a much more effective use of the logs, and still a lot of work. Does this guy know how to build a boat or sail? He has no food, water or warmth so won't last long. That boat is going to break up on the first wave. He could've held on for help longer on the island.

100

u/over_clox Jun 03 '22

Ya know, if you poke at that tree with one of those sticks, food will fall out...

And by the way, the known international distress symbol here would be to set three fires in a triangle. Not so sure I'd wanna take on the ocean all on my own...

73

u/Reluctantly_Being Jun 03 '22

I’m sure the giant waves will kill them faster than their “victim mentality.”

53

u/AnApexPlayer Jun 03 '22

Ah yes just go into the ocean with a raft that rests probably about 3 inches above the water, with no supplies.

34

u/over_clox Jun 03 '22

Don't forget, no clothes either... Dude had to tie those sticks together with something right?

6

u/Flightless_Nerd Jun 04 '22

Well if you really stretch it and assume he's skilled enough to do so you can strip coconut fibers and make rope out of it, but there's only 3 coconuts so that's gonna be some really thin rope holding those together in the open sea

5

u/over_clox Jun 04 '22

Dude left the coconuts there LOL! Guess he wove his hair or something...

4

u/Psion87 Jun 04 '22

Real talk, that raft wouldn't even float, would it? Wood isn't really buoyant, is it? Where'd he even get the rope?

2

u/CdRReddit Jun 04 '22

most wood is buoyant, I believe

barely, but still

rafts like that do exist

they're definitely not built for the sea tho

1

u/linuxgeekmama Jun 04 '22

It would float, but there’s not much keeping it from flipping over or breaking up if a wave hits it.

63

u/LadyKataka Jun 03 '22

Just build a functioning raft out of six planks and then set out onto the ocean on your own without food or water. It's that easy! /s

34

u/Meritania Jun 03 '22

That’s basically the start a business with $1000 mentality

27

u/MaterialFrancis5 Jun 03 '22

Arnold Schwarzenegger told these people what the easiest way to make money is and because they're idiots who start sentences with "just" followed by dumb detached advice, they immediately couldn't see it's inapplicable and looked like the unaware asses they are

This two-panel is the same disconnected energy

15

u/StragglingShadow Jun 03 '22

Well youd die on a raft like that in the ocean too so jokes on that comic

28

u/slutDwight Jun 03 '22

Kids these days will never know rafting across the Pacific ocean

10

u/Glass_of_Pork_Soda Jun 03 '22

Back in my day we rode massive fish across the ocean and through froze waters to get to school - half our dads probably

5

u/FreeSkeptic Jun 04 '22

Next Disney movie.

6

u/throwaway3004020 Jun 04 '22

Upstream both ways!

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

When I was your age, we didn't have feet.

6

u/VioletteKaur Jun 04 '22

Back in my day, we had to build a raft every morning out of six sticks and raft across the Pacific to go to school. When we landed on the west coast of New-India, we then had to walk across deserts, the Rockies, the great plains and the Everglades, to reach the East Indian coast. There we took our raft from our backs and rafted across the Atlantic, we crossed between Cape Town and Antarctica, the Indian Ocean, Papua, and then, we finally reached our destination. Sitting in school, I could see Mom waving out of our house's window, that was attached to the school building. Dad was the janitor.

You Youth take everything for granted, lazy asses!

11

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

will get you killed

Oh no. Not that.

12

u/SpaceShark01 Jun 03 '22

That’s the worst thing to do. NEVER try to escape an island or something by building a raft. Makes you extremely less likely to ever be found and your chances of survival on an island are much better than on a raft.

17

u/enveneltro Jun 03 '22

Ten bucks says this was created by a guy who is literally waiting for christ to show up.

7

u/Nicolasgonzo87 Jun 04 '22

whatever you do never attempt to use any form of rowboat in the ocean. rowboats are for streams and lakes, and using them in the ocean will make you die alone

8

u/markomakeerassgoons Jun 04 '22

Yeah I can paddle thousands of miles through the deadliest biome on earth

5

u/Euphoriffic Jun 03 '22

And was never seen again.

1

u/VioletteKaur Jun 04 '22

He is now at a better place, thanks to his efforts.

7

u/Undifinedobject Jun 04 '22

uh how did they get the twine?

3

u/VioletteKaur Jun 04 '22

Someone said, "human hair" and it totally made sense.

7

u/Random_182f2565 Jun 04 '22

That a very elaborate way to un-alive yourself.

Just wait for help.

5

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Where did he get the rope?

4

u/lilbrewdog Jun 04 '22

Human hair

5

u/harpinghawke Jun 04 '22

Somebody edit this so it’s Loss.jpg

4

u/CheeseLord77 Jun 04 '22

Logistically it is better to stay on that island. Most people who tried sailing off of an island after being stranded died of dehydration at sea.

6

u/BlurredSight Jun 04 '22

The dude's stupid as fuck, there's clearly a fruit on the tree that he left behind.

3

u/corei3uisgarbo Jun 04 '22

your dead if you do this.

3

u/SumClownBoi Jun 04 '22

that's not even enough wood to make a raft. and furthermore what did he use for rope?

3

u/RocketSimplicity Jun 04 '22

Should've made loss

3

u/the-pp-poopooman- Jun 04 '22

THB my first thought was it a was a “loss” joke

3

u/NLeeS02 Jun 04 '22

i was over here trynna figure out what pic B was trying to spell.

i'm amazed ive made it this far in life

3

u/VioletteKaur Jun 04 '22

At least you didn't try to raft across an ocean.

3

u/South-Marionberry Jun 04 '22

Ok but why didn’t they try and get any fucking coconuts to eat. Like mans it’s not gonna be a quick 1hr journey back to civilisation. If it is, then you would have been found earlier.

Ya absolute silly-billy

3

u/BreathOfPepperAir Jun 04 '22

Since when was asking for help 'victim mentality'? I actually can't be assed anymore with this insta therapy shit.

2

u/MadotsukiInTheNexus Jun 04 '22 edited Jun 04 '22

One of my most significant problems is that, with the condition I have (a mix of avoidant and other self-destructive traits), reaching out for help is easier said than done. I hate myself, expect other people to hate me, and respond to anything that makes me feel like other people might hate me by getting so anxious that I either panic or subconsciously detach from the situation.

Asking for help, and being honest about the problem that you have when someone answers, can take a hell of a lot more effort than trying to fix it on your own in some cases. It's also usually a much better option, if the issue is serious. This comic actually illustrates that pretty well, even if it doesn't intend to. Like others have pointed out, assuming that this guy's in the middle of the ocean means that building a raft from scraps of driftwood is the worst mistake he could possibly make.

2

u/BreathOfPepperAir Jun 04 '22

Not gonna lie, it sounds like we have similar conditions so I get you 🥲. I also really struggle to reach out and think everyone's hates me.

I totes agree either way. Many people do not understand basic psychology or how mental illnesses work etc. It's normal to want help. It's normal to not be able to love yourself all the time etc. Pisses me off that people still believe that stuff

2

u/MadotsukiInTheNexus Jun 04 '22 edited Jun 04 '22

The relevant part of my diagnosis here is actually a pretty obscure mental illness (AvPD/Avoidant Personality Disorder). It's probably under-diagnosed rather than rare, but it's kind of hard to explain since most people have never heard of it. Basically. I think I'm completely socially inept, find confirmation for that in any kind of negative feedback, and react to that so poorly that I've adapted to just avoid situations where it even might happen (or to get out of situations where it might, in ways that can be self-sabotaging; if someone's being confrontational, I'll usually say exactly what I think they want to hear, even if it's untrue and causes serious harm for me). It's not uncommon for people suffering from depression or social anxiety to feel similarly, though, and again, it's likely that a lot of people with the condition that I have are just going undiagnosed.

Making the decision to reach out can be so difficult and painful for a lot of people that I can easily see a comic like this doing real harm. "You're just being lazy by asking for help, because real effort means lashing together a raft from your bootstraps" isn't a healthy or beneficial message for someone in that position anyone. Ever.

2

u/BreathOfPepperAir Jun 04 '22

Bro we have the same disorder 🥲🥲. I speak from the same place that you do. Incase you didn't know, there is an avpd sub that u can join if you want. I hope some day there will be more awareness and acceptance of this disorder. Asking for help is becoming more and more difficult these days, as you say. Too much emphasis on bs insta therapy. Different people need different things.

2

u/MadotsukiInTheNexus Jun 04 '22

On the one hand, it's always good to know that other people recognize and understand what I'm talking about. On the other...oh God, I'm so sorry.

I hope some day there will be more awareness and acceptance of this disorder.

I feel like greater public awareness is particularly important, which is why I went into detail describing what it's like. It's easy to assume that AvPD just about shyness, when in reality the core of the condition is a very distorted, unhealthy sense of self.

More awareness of the condition is important right now, because there's really very little research on the condition and treatment options are limited.

3

u/mj_moonwalker_03 Jun 20 '22

A life lesson: don’t ask for help?!?!?!? This is literally so damaging

2

u/I-HATE-Y0U Jun 03 '22

Help myself to what

2

u/Decmk3 Jun 03 '22

B is more likely to get you killed fyi. No food, water or shelter on a raft.

2

u/LioTang Jun 04 '22

Ah yes, 一三コ

2

u/SkibbyJibby Jun 04 '22

how the hell did he even put the raft together? he has the wood but no means of holding it together. Why do these people always use the wordt analogies that just arent as smart as they think they are and just further disprove their points

2

u/Aaron-JH Jun 04 '22

Did the guy on the right pull a giant stick for an oar, and string to hold the planks together out of his ass? There’s no extra resources or pieces missing from the tree but he suddenly has those.

Also, where did either of them get the planks in the first place? I think there’s a wizard on this island.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

Asking for help is no weakness. Never asking for help for nOt sHoWiNg wEaKnEsS is toxic masculinity

2

u/a_little_sketch Jun 04 '22

Does the guy in picture B realize he’s in the middle of the ocean on a fucking make-shift raft? This analogy is stupid for a number of reasons

2

u/lilbrewdog Jun 04 '22

He left his only source of drinkable water behind.

2

u/kagaAkagi1 Jun 04 '22

That appears to a tropical oceanic island judging by the fauna, the man in questions appears to have used 6 pieces of wood from his sign to make his raft, where he got the cordage to bind them and the wood for the paddle is unclear. Beyond this he did not load the coconuts in the raft before leaving and the raft its self is wholly unsuited for oceanic travel. Long story short, this guy is going to die.

moral of the story: Man stuck on an island with literal sign for help, na F you, you have to help your self, I am just going to document from boat over here.

1

u/linuxgeekmama Jun 04 '22

He’s in hot weather, with no shade, exerting himself. That’s perfect conditions for heat stroke. There’s a race for what’s going to kill him first, between heat stroke, dehydration, and drowning when the raft capsizes or breaks up.

2

u/VioletteKaur Jun 04 '22

THIS IS THE DUMBEST SHIT EVER.

- no food

- no water

- no nautical equipment

- just a raft, no shelter

This would've been the shortest version of "Lost" . They fall from the sky, they build a raft. They die. END.

2

u/Ben_Tuldnka Jun 04 '22

This is only true if the distance you have to travel is really small, like, "small lake" small, so I guess it is half of a good message? Take on the small things yourself, but it misses the really important follow up message, which is if you try to take on the ocean with nothing but what you can make on your little island you WILL drown to death

2

u/shuffling-through Jun 04 '22

"Lol, I watched Castaway that one time, I totally got this, hur dur."

Bigshot heroism gets you killed in real life.

2

u/Chungus_Big_Chungus Jun 04 '22

Yeah that’s why the government doesn’t bail out million dollar corporations, right? /s

2

u/Milkywaycitizen932 Jun 04 '22

Ah so the solution is to go die at sea, where no one can here me bitch and moan about needing help , gotcha

4

u/GiovanniGiorgioisSUS Jun 03 '22

The text is true...the pictures are bullshit

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Like, have you tried just not being sad?

0

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

good advice, hilariously-bad execution; a more accurate comparison would be comparing someone who is just sitting on their ass feeling sorry for themselves and waiting someone else to help them without doing anything to at least make their wait a little more survivable, vs the person who looks around and looks for water or something.

-2

u/lllamer Jun 04 '22

This is good advice? Did you all know that advice is not meant to instantly cure you? I guess none of y’all would know that though because you’ll just continue to be sad fucks the rest of your life.

-5

u/N37123N Jun 03 '22

this is a trap metaphor, the intended meaning is reversed :P

1

u/ThePinkTeenager Jun 03 '22

Where’s he get the rope?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '22

Guess I'll die then.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

This guy never watch castaway your supposed to wait on the island for a few years then leave

1

u/Naterdave Jun 04 '22

How did he tie the planks together? Also, those planks look super flat so how are they even supporting him?

1

u/ChaosOfShine69 Jun 04 '22

It’s a conundrum, dead if you do, dead if you don’t . No One gets out alive🥳🥳🥳🥳🥸

1

u/the_salivation_army Jun 04 '22

I blame the illustrator

1

u/Beneficial_Charity_3 Jun 04 '22

why did i spend so long trying to read the second frame

1

u/steviebw225 Jun 04 '22

This is so dumb bruh build a shelter with the wood sand and leaves, live off the coconuts.

1

u/xXLordOfUwUXx Jun 04 '22

Ah yes, cause logs are magnetic so ofc that will stay together

1

u/klapanda Jun 04 '22

Outrageously stupid.

1

u/Spottyhickory63 Jun 04 '22

except if someone’s looking for you, it’s best to stay put

1

u/linuxgeekmama Jun 04 '22

That’s why, if you go out on a boat, you make sure somebody back on land knows where you’re going and when you plan to be back. You also don’t set out into conditions where you’re likely to be shipwrecked.

1

u/queenbiscuit311 Jun 04 '22

He then starved to death at sea

2

u/linuxgeekmama Jun 04 '22

Nah, he’d die of dehydration first.

1

u/LaylaLeesa Jun 04 '22

Bootstrappps

1

u/eramthgin007 Jun 04 '22

Those coconuts are still on the tree so there's no way they made strong enough rope

1

u/Idcatallo Jun 04 '22

That's not how you get out of that situation alive

1

u/Prophet_Of_Loss Jun 04 '22

No provisions, water, or shelter in the open ocean. Excellent plan.

1

u/OneDimensionUp Jun 04 '22

turns into whale

1

u/James53654 Jun 04 '22

"Made by Alpha wolf, leader male, lone Survivor, sex pundit, entrepreneur, answers emails all day, loves to go for a ride in his Lamborghini to clear his mind from the stress, makes out with chicks all day, get to my level to talk to me"

1

u/MrLink4444 Jun 04 '22

Fix your heart attack bitch. No one is coming.

1

u/polde_love Jun 04 '22

Congratulation, you played yourself.

1

u/MrFrypan Jun 04 '22

Good luck with your rickety raft out on the open seas.

1

u/SteamKore Jun 04 '22

Ah yes, help yourself by doing the worst thing possible.

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

Thanks, I can only find rocks to spell out my “help” sign. How do I make a raft?

1

u/[deleted] Jun 04 '22

"No one is coming. It's up to you." Is the unofficial motto of the United States. Actually the entire motto is: "No one is coming. It's up to you. You're on your own, asshole."

1

u/Carbunclecatt Jun 04 '22

This is so stupid. People come, people who think like that won't and no one will help them either because they're assholes.

I have good friends and a nice family and always ended up encountering helpful and supportive people in my life, and no matter my illness, my depression or even suicidal tendencies I've never once felt alone, and I'm lucky af. Without any of them I would've been dead a while back, my short life is proof that the opposite of this message is true, I don't like playing the victim either but I won't refuse any help that's given to me and I'll definitely repay the favour. And that's what everyone should do. The reason we won this planet isn't our physical prowess and it's not even our intelligence, its because of our ability to communicate and come together, if we didn't have that we would probably have a world populated with neanderthal people who we as a species wouldn't have convinced in the past to fuck with us and we wouldn't have driven them away either

1

u/pursall Jun 04 '22

ah i get it
- ≡ ⊐

1

u/ribitwibitt Jun 04 '22

-Ξ כ

wow very deep message

1

u/loafers_glory Jun 04 '22

Minus is congruent with a superset.

QED.

1

u/awesumindustrys Jun 04 '22

Now, do you know where you’re going?

1

u/Shaved_Savage Jun 04 '22

I don’t need medicine or therapy, I just have to smile more and that will fix the nightmares and panic attacks. Got it. It’s me, I’m not smiling hard enough.

1

u/Jeevansaab Jun 04 '22

It's upto you and crocs and the sharkys.

1

u/Smaaeesh Jun 04 '22

Raft guy is gonna die in the sun, they left coconuts behind

Also ocean violent

1

u/Krusty-p00p-sock Jun 04 '22

Yeah let me just build a fucking boat real quick.