r/stopdrinking • u/PJMurphy 4282 days • Oct 10 '20
REPOST: How to Deal with a Case of the "Fuck-its"
u/seekingsuggestions sent me a message, they recalled a post I put up years ago, couldn't locate it, and asked me to repost it. This community is something else...I am happy to repost it. For those reading it for the first time, let me know if it resonates with you. Incidentally, the "Gratitude List" is an excellent tool for recovery, and is utilized in many forms of therapy as well. Just write down the things you are grateful for.....
The Fuck Its
"It's really easy to say "Fuck It". Because "it" strips all the value off the thing it refers to. Whatever "it" is, it becomes devalued by being referred to as "it".
So it behooves us, as alcoholics to be aware of this. What exactly are we devaluing by using the label "it"?
Would we say, "Fuck the people who care about me, I'm drinking"?
Would we say, "Fuck my finances, I'm drinking"?
Would we say, "Fuck my self-esteem, I'm drinking"?
Would we say, "Fuck my body, my health, I'm drinking"?
Would we say, "Fuck my job, my home, I'm drinking" ?
Probably not. Because we value these things, and when we name them, we become less willing to damage them. But when we devalue them by calling them "it", they become disposable in the pursuit of the "I", and our selfish nature takes over. We can pick up a glass a lot easier if we fool ourselves, even subtly, into believing that we aren't hurting anything that has value. Or that our desire to serve our own desires should be paramount.
So when I get a case of Fuckitis i try to remember what I'm fucking. It's all the stuff on my Gratitude List. All of it. And that's the best prescription for the disease. Take out the Gratitude List, and try saying "Fuck (item)". It's harder, isn't it? But that's exactly what we'll be fucking if we start drinking again. Line by line, item by item, we'll be fucking every good thing in our lives straight into the ground.
And for what? A glass of poison? Booze is my "it". Booze has no value to me, at all. Booze deserves to be called "it" for all time to come, in revenge for what it has done to me, and to a lot of others.
So when I say "Fuck It", that's what I'm talkin' about. Fuck booze. Fuck that stuff. Fuck it straight to hell on a one-way ticket.
That's it. Get it?"
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u/starlightclearnight 931 days Oct 10 '20
Hey, I remember this post, PJ! Thank you for the repost. xx
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Oct 11 '20
I needed this so badly today. Thank you for posting.
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u/OldLadyCathy 1490 days Oct 11 '20
Posts like this stick. They illuminate the obvious and we say, "WOW. I never thought about it that way" Which is so true. When we're stuck in the crap that traps us, the fuck its seem to naturally be part of the entrapment. At the onset at least, but -
when we name them, we become less willing to damage them.
Now that you've exposed the fuck its for who and what they really are, the lightbulbs are flicking on all over the place! And we all know that light dispels darkness. Thank you so much for this far-reaching post!
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u/notgonnabemydad 298 days Oct 10 '20
I totally remember this post! Equally as powerful now as it was then. Thank you.
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u/Lessofthismoreofthat 1659 days Oct 10 '20
I love this goddam post. I found it whilst sobercuriously surfing... a year ago? I copied it, whatsapped it to myself, read it to my mum, she loved it, I sent it to her, she sent it to her boyfriend. I invoke it still. Thank you for writing it. Hugs.
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u/Tdogtoo 22 days Oct 11 '20
Great post. I am learning so much here. How to say NO to my "Fuck it" list, which had become my controlling go to excuse to drink. "Fuck it, I'll quit tomorrow." "Fuck it, I live alone, who will know." "Fuck it, the country is in such a mess, I deserve it." "Fuck it, I'm in quarantine anyway. I'll quit when this is all over." You get the picture.....The gratitude list as a reminder that my life can be so much better if I just put a HALT to this destructive way of thinking.
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u/4ever_Romeo 1817 days Oct 10 '20
Hey PJ This is powerful !! Thanks so much for posting. I’m taking out my gratitude list now. 🤙