Getting stuck on "trigger questions"

[u/black_capricorn]

I've noticed that even though I've improved a lot in social skills certain questions still trigger me. Especially asking about areas of my life where I'm not going to live up to the social norms. I know that literally just saying anything is better than getting defensive or otherwise "being weird about it", but it's like my brain just has gotten fixated over certain questions over the years as "they are prying, they are judging, it's society, f*** them" and it's like I just can't think about it clearly or avoid giving a weird response.

Has anyone dealt with this successfully?

My best guess is that just decide what you want to say ahead or time and practice in front of a mirror. Or "more meditation, less coffee". Arrgh.

[u/itsaaronngan]

Can you give some examples of the types of questions?

It’s possible that you are jumping a few steps and imagining the potential response to your likely response and then hesitating or getting activated based on that.

Even if there is plenty of evidence it will go that way, it’s powerful to pause and own “I get to choose how I want to react” as well as “maybe I actually don’t know how they might respond to something I say.

People often call people out for being arrogant, but assuming that you are not living up to “social norm” can also be just as damaging.

Lots of people have dealt with stuff to get where they are. Many more people will get where you are than you might think.