r/selfhelp • u/HereFor2day • 21h ago

Trouble quitting old, bad habits

Constantly find myself excusing and bargaining with myself, holding no boundaries even towards myself. I’m to blame for not having the life I desire. There’s simply no one else I could put the blame on, but me. I find myself trying to lessen the disappointment with myself by patting myself on the back for not drinking, as if it was my only problem. I’ve smoked weed, I’ve taken Xanax and I continue to vape, because hey, at least I’m not drinking, right? It’s all a form of neglect, self sabotage if you will. I know that none of that will take me to the places I wish to go. So why do I keep trying to force myself to believe that I can do any of it. I feel like shit after. So I sell myself short for what? For a few hours of “fun?” It’s simply not worth it and it makes me realize that mentally, I’m weak. I falter when substances are around. I falter when I have a chance for instant dopamine. I think I need to delete this all social media apps because it feeds the same receptor that all my other bad habits do. Social media is like a drug to me as much as weed, Xanax, alcohol and nicotine are. It should be as easy as just NOT doing it. So why can’t I? Any advice or support for me as I deeply try not to cave into all of my urges. It’s a must if I want any kind of future that i am happy with. If it’s so important to me then why the fuck is it so hard?

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u/nik1here 20h ago

Please don't be too hard on yourself, self-hate only makes things worse. With self-compassion and patience towards yourself you can find the solution. Here are some practical tips.

  • Start small, don't try to bring massive changes at once, Habits takes time.
    • Read books that inspire you to bring positive change (I highly recommend the Atomic Habits book).
    • try therapy for drug addiction
    • Add hobbies that are healthy but also fun (for example. Sports if you like them)
    • Have social support, connect with friends. Good friends/company can really help us to nudge in the right direction.
    • Change your environment if possible, surround yourself with people with similar goals and growth mindset.

I hope you will be able to bring positive habits in your life in 2025!

Best of luck 👍