r/pakistan • u/Critical_Character12 • 1d ago
Ask Pakistan why do I feel like my family is too burger
I'm not exaggerating like they always try to speak english, can't be strict even if they try to , always trying to dress like those elite class people , my mom especially wanted me to enroll in beaconhouse schools , we aren't even rich at all , maybe average but never above average
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u/sarahhhayy 1d ago
Dressing nicely isn't a bad thing at all, I think. Presenting yourself well will certainly help you in practical life, brother. You just don't realize that.
And Aitchison will always be considered an elite institution, Beaconhouse doesn't fall into that category anymore. Lol so, relax rahen.
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u/MASJAM126 18h ago
You nearly broke the intensity of the guy's personal frustration.
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u/Icy-Cryptographer71 1d ago
What's there to complain about? Your family is dressing nice, you are learning to speak english better etc
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u/SuccessfulPatient896 1d ago
Exactly! Speaking in English or dressing nicely shouldn't be considered bad. If anything you will look presentable and that'll help you in the future
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u/Critical_Character12 1d ago
that dosent matter in Pakistan though 💀
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u/Stock-Boat-8449 1d ago
Are you nuts? Speaking English well can open career paths for you. Why do you think there are so many academies offering to teach spoken English?
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u/Critical_Character12 1d ago
any average shopkeeper can speak english, you should watch foreigner vlogs about coming to Pakistan , english is a universal language, mostly everyone knows it lol,
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u/SuccessfulPatient896 1d ago
bro has never been a shop outside💀
Most of the vlogs I have seen the local shopkeepers or local vendors fail to speak English or comprehend it. I'm not saying this to shame them but instead tell you to be thankful. You genuinely seem ungrateful and highly uneducated on the fact that how life here works and how what your parents are doing is completely normal and necessary for grooming.
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u/throwaway98yh 23h ago
Sweetie, if you think that the avg shopkeeper in Pakistan can speak English, then maybe perhaps you really are a burger in denial
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u/Critical_Character12 23h ago
yeah what's what I hate tbh , i wish I was a rich burger though, school ki fees de nai pata phir Bhi a levels Karna zaroori hai
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u/Stock-Boat-8449 1d ago
Yeah.. there's a difference between knowing some words of English and being able to speak fluently, much less discuss technical terms.
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u/SuccessfulPatient896 1d ago
your parents are educated and want to look presentable? What is wrong in that? I have genuinely never seen someone complaining about such a thing.
My family/friends do the same. "Burgers" is just a term people use to look down on people who are looking good or presentable.
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u/ImpossibleContact218 1d ago edited 1d ago
Burgers was meant to be used for those who look down on their own culture and try to be very Americanized/westernized. But it kinda got overused and in the wrong context. Like you'd be called burger for picking up trash.
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u/SuccessfulPatient896 1d ago
Exactly, if you're speaking in English, dressing good, being nice, presentable it only shows good manners and that you were brought up good.
If someone calls you burger for that, it would be better if you stopped talking to that person
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u/Critical_Character12 19h ago
i saw a video of two kids from beaconhouse fighting each other physically , the comments were filled with countless people saying burger kids this and that , I was genuinely confused like what is burger about this? , Pakistani awaam is just too delusional, even those Karachites always thinking they are the tough ones cuz they have to go through countless robberies and hardships in their average day in Karachi
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u/TweetyyMado AE 1d ago
well you can't change them, just improve yourself, also since when beacon house schools became elite? I mean, huh?
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u/wildcard5 Pakistan 1d ago
The richest working class folks send their kids to beacon house.
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u/Critical_Character12 1d ago
not exactly tbh many people belong to below average class here and middle class as well only a few are top class
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u/wildcard5 Pakistan 1d ago
below average class here and middle class
Both come under working class.
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u/Critical_Character12 1d ago
those people send their kids to Punjab colleges too , what's your point? , also Punjab college isn't cheap aswell btw
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u/Broad-Trade-6957 1d ago
You do get scholarship in PGC though , studied for free for 2 years (Fsc) there due to good marks in matriculation.
Idk if LGS or Beachon has such scholarships, do they ? I mean do they take O level score for scholarships in A level or something like that
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u/GamerBoyh12 1d ago
Most Fsc scholarships r a pain in the ass. giving those tests everyday just to retain your scholarship. and yes most a levels institutes give scholarships based on o lvls grades
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u/Broad-Trade-6957 23h ago
Maybe things were different in some other Cities. I never got to give any tests . I know people who got scholarships but scored less than 50% in regular test sessions , still never got it revoked .
The talk in our PGC was that once you got the scholarship, they ain't gonna take it away ever , they said to us we will revoke it if you score less 80% but we knew they were just using it as fear tactic .
The only case it would happen was if you did anything really really bad that goes against discipline and decorum .
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u/Stock-Boat-8449 1d ago
By that logic Citi School, LGS, Learning Alliance are all for rich folks. Where are middle class kids going?
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u/wildcard5 Pakistan 1d ago
Bhai meray middle class comes in working class. Working class includes lower and middle classes both. By "richest working class" I meant upper middle class.
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u/Intrepid_Ad_710 1d ago
The life you’re complaining about would be a dream life for millions.
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u/Critical_Character12 1d ago
brother I'm not even rich
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u/stating_facts_only 14h ago
Your parents are setting you up so when you do get some decent education and land a good paying job, this lifestyle isn’t foreign to you.
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u/Emergency-Complex-53 1d ago
Talking to other people also increases your language skills (my family and I learned a new language that way when I was a kid), I don't know what kind of school it is, it seems to be elite, but I think your family thinks the cost of your education is worth it because they think it will give you more opportunities in life.
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u/laevanay 20h ago
Are they hurting anyone? Are they bettering themselves?
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u/Critical_Character12 19h ago
nah but I don't like this burger style of living , we live in Pakistan, don't need to be burger here act like a normal person
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u/SuccessfulPatient896 1d ago
I'm sorry but who told you beaconhouse is considered "elite" or even nice💀
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u/Aggravating_Meet9426 1d ago
exactly lol that shit was considered elite 20 years ago, aitchison & kgs have been elite and always will be
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u/SuccessfulPatient896 1d ago
Yeah I agree, I have only seen jahil students studying at beacon/City school.
I had a teacher who was part of Beacon for 15years and he said the exact same thing. He told me he hates the system and faculty because most of the faculty are inexperienced.
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u/blitzkriegjz 1d ago
You can't compare Aitchison with KGS. Aitchisons always been pind people with money.
KGS was (was because now it's all rural sindhis with illicit wealth) even my great grandmother could recite Shelley and Byron off the bat.
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u/Critical_Character12 1d ago
60 thousand rupees fees per month of a levels , mine is only 34k per month and thats cuz of financial aid
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u/SuccessfulPatient896 1d ago
You don't get my point, my A levels fees was around 80k even after scholarship cuz of my good grades iirc. But it wasn't really an "elite" college.
Please keep this in mind, just because the fees is big, it doesn't mean that place is elite.
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u/Critical_Character12 1d ago
wtf 80 thousand fees???, bruh I'm talking about BMI the main campus of beaconhouse
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u/SuccessfulPatient896 1d ago
Man my point is just be grateful, your post above just shows how backward you are. There is literally nothing wrong with speaking English, dressing good, or acting "elite".
If anything it's good for you, that's called grooming. You look presentable, please don't think of it as "burger awaam". I would only use that term of extremely fake people who pretend to be someone else. Any average educated person making a decent living in this country will always look after their ownself. You're parents are not at the wrong here, it's very common practice here.
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u/Salt-Comfortable779 AE 1d ago
Yeah OP should be grateful, he seems like a teenager that’s watched too many reels and is embarrassed that his family doesn’t fit into the narrative of a typical Pakistani family and is actually trying to be better.
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u/SuccessfulPatient896 1d ago
Fr, people in Pakistan want to advance forward and be successful and OP wants to go backwards.
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u/Kooale323 1d ago
Speaking english is not better than speaking urdu. Demeaning one's own language like this serves no purpose.
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u/BoeJidenHD69 20h ago
Its called being civilized. Whats wrong with beacon house? Education matters
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u/Critical_Character12 19h ago
no need for such civilisation if I'm gonna live in Pakistan my whole life
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u/LibraFive 10h ago
So your problem isn't with them trying to groom you into a civilized human being despite not being rich, as you put it. You don't like civilized desi log. You think civilization is a Western exclusive.
Adab na Sirf angrezi hai, na libaas, na daulat.
Adab insanon se mohabbat aur unki dignity ki izzat aur ehsaas hai shayad. Try seeing from your heart. Civilizations come and go, but you only have one short life, one precious family... Stop judging them and start loving them. Only way to get over hawayi insecurity is to respect and appreciate your current blessings from Allah. Say Alhamdulillah. : )
I would recommend you watch some NDE experiences on tube. That helps put things in perspective. Pray for us all, and may Allah forgive us all and bless us infinitely. 💚🙏
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u/Euphoric_Basis_3564 21h ago
every family has its own way of life and culture. you can think differently from your family, putting a tag on them because you notice some factors typically associated with "burgers" might not be truly correct. for example, they may simply believe that big name schools give better education/networking opportunities than others and place value on education and dressing well both of which play significant roles in your success. English doesn't have to be associated with elitism. sometimes we judge people based on our assumptions.
maybe they just like to show off, as do most pakistanis. maybe they think of these factors as ways to game the system. maybe they simply have a more sophisticated approach to carrying themselves.
also, what's wrong with being "burger"? it's just a way of life for some people. not everyone who tries to do these things is a wannabe rich.
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u/NothingExtra6846 19h ago edited 19h ago
my family is the complete opposite, and some more. all of them are fundamentalists who do nothing but talk all day about yahoodi sazish, ridiculous conspiracy theories and shit talk anyone that doesn’t follow their version of islam. oh and of course they’ve done nothing of significance in their life but seem to think its the system set by the angrez that’s limited them. how about we trade places, would love to be in your non strict, well dressed and perfect english speaking burger family.
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u/MASJAM126 18h ago
Which burger? Shami or tikki burger? They are hopefully just living a normal life, trying to cope up with the society.
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u/ProWest665 22h ago
By "dress", do you mean western style clothing, maybe something less Islamic? Are they becoming less inclined towards religion would you say?
I spent a lot of time in UK and abroad, and when I visited a cousin (very wealthy Maash Allah) who lives in DHA Lahore, his daughters attended some med school in Lahore, I was surprised when at dinner the girls spoke English to each other, and the parents were proud, maybe hoping to impress me. I resolutely stuck to speaking Panjabi, which surprised them I think and I think they even respected that I wasn't out to impress anyone.
My cousins wife actually came from a religious family, but she was shifting away from that in her ways. I think it was their social circle in DHA that was influencing them towards a more liberal outlook.
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u/wayne2bat 1d ago
My mindset differs from my parents and siblings a whole lot. But i have wasted the past 7-8 years trying for them to understand me. The only lesson i have learnt is, you shouldnt look for anybody's approval even of your parents if you know you on the right path, doesnt mean u go against them, disrespect them or make an enemy out of them. If you think you have grown as a person much more than them, then rmr a mature person just continues to grow and improve and doesnt think lesser of those who are behind him in anyway. One day you will find they will see you and how much you jave progressed and they will also change. Try to give them suggestions only when you can do so in the kindest possible manner without becoming insecure in your own self and principles.
You have no enemies.
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19h ago
[deleted]
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u/wayne2bat 18h ago
That's why i said if you feel secure in yourself then do what i said, and btw no i will say very few desi families will be such that wont change, they are humans like us after all, whatever goodness is there in us came frok them, the seeds of our character come from them, they can change.
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u/IAmAlwaysinDilemma CA 14h ago
Dressing nice is a good thing, be it western dress or eastern.
As for speaking english, learning a second language is a good asset, however, speaking english within your household shouldn’t be celebrated. Your mother tongue should always be your priority with other languages as toppings.
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u/ZamaPashtoNaRazi 10h ago
From my time in Pakistan, I remember beaconhouse was never considered an elite school lmao, it was more of a decent middle class or upper middle class/new rich school. The elites and old money tend to go to Aitchison, KGS or any international school that would cost like $10k a year or more. Dw you’re not “burger”.
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u/saudk8 1d ago
Subcontinent and their obsession with English 🙄🙄🙄
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u/throwaway98yh 23h ago
Agr aapko angrezi na aati hoti tou Witcher na khel paate. This entire idea that the obsession with English is somehow negative in any aspect in Pakistan is flawed. It's the lingua franca of the world, obviously knowing it matters.
That's not saying ke angrezi agar na aati ho tou negative hai, but as a matter of fact knowing it is a big plus
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