r/pakistan • u/Popular_Brief3677 • 1d ago
Discussion Toilet training in desi families
Hello.. question to all modern desi couples. Probably more so to those living abroad and/or in non joint families.
Whose job is to do the toilet training for children? Mother or father?
Full time working father and stay at home mother and we have two kids.. 3 years old and 8 months old.
15
u/FiftyAmpere 1d ago
both of you, whenever whoever is around the kid. weekend pe to ghar hoge na? ya after work. help the mom out!
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u/livel3tlive 1d ago
Whoever is with the child. U need to take them every 15 mins and make them sit on the seat and hope for the best
3
u/xotic_daddy1122 1d ago
Both but mostly mothers are the one who takes a leap of faith in this filth and hats off to them
3
u/Future-Lychee-6168 1d ago
Both parents.. it takes two to create a child. Its not one parents job, to parent the child.
7
u/anniversary24mar2020 1d ago
both parents are technically full time. the mum just isn't paid and has no working hours.
also if u r calling yourself a father then u should be equally responsible for the child so when u r home (cause driving back from work every time nature calls would be very stupid) u should take them to the loo.
2
u/IamHungryNow1 1d ago
When the father is at work it’s the mother.
When you’re home you pick up all tasks between you until all tasks are finished.
In my household we don’t divide tasks in half but allocate tasks to be fully completed between us.
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u/Embarrassed_Area1984 AU 1d ago
Me and Mrs work both full time, but she still does take care of home more than myself, however taking care of kids is mainly on me, kids are more attached to me, I’ve trained the boys, she’s trained the daughter.
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u/Ok_Fondant966 1d ago
There is a role of both in anything the child needs to learn. Keep playing blame game or teach the kid. Our nation is doomed in this thought process that whose work is what.
2
1
u/Unable-Assignment554 1d ago
Imagine a guy staying full time at home with kids while mom goes out to earn money .& Then she has to toilet train the kids on her return . Does that make sense ?
3
u/missbushido 1d ago
Many women already do this. Women who work end up doing most of the raising and chores anyway.
I work full time about 9-12 hours everyday. And the chores don't complete by themselves.
So when men complain about chores after work, I guess they seem really weak to me.
1
u/Unable-Assignment554 1d ago
If your husband is a stay at home dad & he still can't finish the chores , then he deserve a good ass whopping. However , if both are working , then they should divide the chores equally.
1
0
u/MayfairHedgeFund 1d ago edited 1d ago
Many dumb arsed Pakistani wannabe Americans on here.
So let’s answer the question. By whose job is it, I think you mean whose responsibility is it.
Your job as the man, is to provide shelter, food, clothing, education, security and healthcare.
The woman’s responsibility is to raise the kids, inline with Islam.
Now, toilet training is a domestic issue. She will be spending the most time with the kids, so it’s her role.
However, that doesn’t mean you can’t help out if you want when you’re home. But it’s still her responsibility.
Now, the bigger question is, how TF do you marry someone where you guys can’t get along and do things in partnership. Where the wife doesn’t respect your authority as a man and you have to come to Reddit to cry your heart out?
What kind of a man are you? What kind of a husband are you? What kind of a father are you?
I would say, not a very good one. You give off man/child vibes: like many Pakistani men do. Especially those that don’t move out of their parent’s home after marriage.
Grow TF up and be a man. And next time pick a better woman that respects your authority. Not a TikTok love marriage where the honeymoon is over and you realise she can’t and won’t do shit.
And WTF does modern/modren supposed to mean? You are a Muslim. You are a Pakistani. Stop having such an inferiority complex that you start a question with this prequalification.
Who gives a F*ck if you’re modern? What does that have to do with teaching your son not to shit on the sofa??
2
u/Zranish PK 1d ago
Seems like an overreaction on your part although I definitely agree with your point its stupid to ask the question here
-1
u/MayfairHedgeFund 23h ago
Extreme situations call for extreme self reflection.
If it seems an “overreaction” to you. You may be numb to the crumbling social and moral fabric of Pakistan.
It is truly fuxked. Over 1M educated young people have left over the last 24m. The people who had a chance of turning Pakistan around.
What we are left with is this type of person. Who will ensure that Pakistan is a shit hole for the next 75 years too.
Pakistanis need to wake up and take a long hard look at themselves. How these people ever gained independence from the British is beyond me.
And socially numb people like yourself (I’m not trying to be rude-just as a matter of fact observation), perpetuate this by thinking any attempt at challenging and correction of ill informed social norms or emerging social attitudes, is “over-reacting”.
You’d probably think Mr Jinnah was an overly emotional, over reacting, trouble making drama queen. But hey, by Allahs mercy, he managed to steer us towards independence.
Again, not having a go at you. Just surprised at your lack of self awareness (as a Pakistani vis a vis the rest of the world).
0
u/Efficient-Amount8418 1d ago
The mother, of course. My husband works from 9 am to 9 pm, and I'm home with kids all day, so I trained both my kids by age 2.5. But now that they are trained whenever we travel or are out, my husband takes our 3 year to public washrooms always.
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