r/nope 2d ago

So dumb. So nope. Rolled the dice on eternity

929 Upvotes

100 comments sorted by

187

u/deucedwild 2d ago

He just wants a coke.

50

u/EngineZeronine 2d ago

Really helps wash down the morons capturing stuff for their Instagram feed

13

u/Altruistic_Lobster18 2d ago

Just give him a Klondike bar

4

u/SATerp 2d ago

But he'll settle for Mr. Pibb.

5

u/senorelvisto 2d ago

Probably lost the baggy in the snow & couldn't find it

2

u/ThatCanadianLady 2d ago

He'd like to teach the world to sing....in perfect harmony....

80

u/SilverBane24 2d ago

He’s lucky that bear looks well fed.

52

u/HighHoeHighHoes 2d ago

He’s lucky that bear is being cautious. It knows it’s out of its own domain and is making sure it’s safe to approach. It’s either learned humans can be dangerous or it’s not sure if they can be, yet.

5

u/saysthingsbackwards 1d ago

The only humans it learned weren't dangerous are the ones that ran

71

u/gpu222 2d ago

If you're cold they're cold, let them in

17

u/WeAreGesalt 2d ago

Poor little guy just wants some scratches

8

u/TheOtherGlikbach 2d ago

And a snack. A leg or two would be great.

2

u/The_Akkik 1d ago

Why not friend if friend shaped?

3

u/thermjuice 2d ago

Put them in your mouth

46

u/Bawbawian 2d ago

how is anybody this dumb and still alive

11

u/jc10189 2d ago

Thanks to the advances of modern medicine. Remember the beginning of Idiocracy?

5

u/Techteam200 2d ago

Indeed... Such stupidity shouldn't reproduce...

34

u/Mobile_Macro 2d ago

Not so fun fact: Polar Bears are the only bears on the planet that ACTIVELY search for humans as a common food source in their standard diet.

5

u/optimumopiumblr2 1d ago

As they should. I respect it.

112

u/Savings_Army3073 2d ago

"largest predator on the planet" Not even close.

36

u/Free_Revenue8674 2d ago

Yeah cuz that would be EDP

53

u/YarOldeOrchard 2d ago

Biggest land predator prob

22

u/MrNobody_0 2d ago

largest land based predator on the planet

This is more accurate.

18

u/Higanbana_- 2d ago

Orcas, Alligators and 18ft Great Whites would like to have a word.

5

u/FrankaGrimes 2d ago

Interestingly, polar bears and great white sharks have the same top speed 🤔

3

u/Higanbana_- 2d ago

Wait, really??

13

u/FrankaGrimes 2d ago

40km/h!

Now...that being said, a bit hard to compare considering they'd probably move quite a bit slower in each other's domain. Though the polar bear can swim...I think polar bear's got the shark beat there!

5

u/Tasha1A 2d ago

Alligators? Surely crocs are bigger than alligators?

5

u/ADisrespectfulCarrot 2d ago

Sperm whales are bigger.

12

u/yeezee93 2d ago

Polar bears actively hunt humans.

6

u/Frosted_Blakes95 2d ago

Idk man, in those ads for the mobile games polar bears are like the easiest things to kill. I think I’d be pretty good

15

u/poopiehands 2d ago

Lol killer whale says hi.. also tons of other animals

13

u/mad-i-moody 2d ago

Largest land predator, maybe?

3

u/sunshinenorcas 2d ago

Yeah, polar bear is the largest land based carnivore.

Sperm whales are the largest carnivore/toothed predator on the planet.

8

u/MyFaceSaysItsSugar 2d ago

The blue whale isn’t vegan

1

u/poopiehands 2d ago

Did I say?

0

u/adinmem 2d ago

Literal tons

5

u/Lrgindypants 2d ago

At least he is wearing his brown pants.

12

u/SnooMuffins2623 2d ago

One of the most dangerous creatures on the planet and a polar bear

18

u/Pappasgrind 2d ago

Black fight back Brown lay down White good night

4

u/NoPantsDeLeon 2d ago

That's probably the pet of some weird ass Russian guy

3

u/Bat-Honest 2d ago

"Honey get back inside!"

"But I wanna give him a lil boop!"

3

u/cleoindiana 2d ago

Mr. Darwin I presume?

3

u/random_text_you_read 2d ago

If not friend then why friend shaped?

3

u/Frank_cat 2d ago

"What is this?
Oh a polar bear coming to get me!
How cool ! I must take the phone out and shoot some a video for insta!"

3

u/decaffeinated_emt670 2d ago

I would simply just stop existing at that point lmao.

3

u/MoxxFulder 2d ago

F that. Albino coke beast see you on the street, you’re either easy pickins or fast food.

3

u/M0ntgomatron 1d ago

That's an odd looking Sperm Whale

3

u/B33PZR 1d ago

You want red snow for Christmas? This is how you get red snow. Nope just nope

5

u/Realistic_Mushroom72 2d ago

That not the largest predator on the planet, it may be the largest LAND predator on the planet, but not the largest on the planet, the largest predator on the planet is the Cachalot or Sperm Whale, at least so far, since more than 90% of the oceans are un-explored.

2

u/nada1979 2d ago

Just how close was the actual encounter? There was a man, and then there was no man to be seen.

2

u/Agile-Committee3594 2d ago

Just trying to hand him a Coke

2

u/Parking_Balance_470 2d ago

In a habitat where everything is frozen, this idiot was a nice warm meal for the bear. Lucky for him the bear wasn’t hungry other wise he’s toast! So stupid what people will do for a close up video. 🤦🏽‍♂️

2

u/ssdd442 2d ago

Dumb ways to die plays in the background

2

u/SATerp 2d ago

If it's me, I'm not videoing a freaking polar bear, I'm desperately trying to avoid being eaten.

2

u/RestImportant 2d ago

Good example of why women typically live longer

2

u/TunaInducedComa 2d ago

Brother you are not the apex here, what are you doing!

2

u/HippoPebo 2d ago

Sperm whales are the world’s largest predator.

2

u/Dickon_Stark 2d ago

I'm recording you..don't try any violent

2

u/[deleted] 2d ago

People and their motherfucking phones

2

u/HighHoeHighHoes 2d ago

An apex predator has you isolated and is standing on all 4s looking at you eye-to-eye. Take advantage of its cautious curiosity to back up to a safe space.

2

u/Chick-fil-A-4-Life 2d ago

I've heard this is the rule book for dealing with bears and what color they are:

Black - you fight back

Brown - you lay down

White - say "good night!"

2

u/VAVA_Mk2 2d ago

I don't see a train? Where's the largest predator?

2

u/CumpMoney 2d ago

The only bear where the best course of action if it attacks is to do your best to fight back. Good luck

2

u/DJ_TCB 2d ago

Largest predator on the planet is probably the sperm whale. This guy wins the land though

2

u/freeze_ 2d ago

The only reason the guy is alive is because the bear was like, “You can’t be fucking serious rn. Is this a joke? {Yells in bear} OK! WHO SET ME UP?!?!?!”

2

u/foodguyDoodguy 2d ago

*land predator.

2

u/spacemantodd 2d ago

The hungriest predator on Ghx planet. Surprised he made of out of there

2

u/MrBlusie 1d ago

How does the saying go? Something like:

Brown, run Black, fight White, good night

2

u/Ok-Experience-6674 1d ago

Why do humans not regard them as dangerous, they are DEADLY KILLING MACHINES but because they’ve done a advert or 2 you think they friendly

2

u/Spiritual_Bridge84 1d ago

Yep it’s all Coke n Christmas’s fault

2

u/Spleeshers 1d ago

All the dogs in the neighborhood are going nuts lol.

2

u/Lance2409 1d ago

But look at dem lil Kuma ears!

2

u/RoodysRun 2d ago

Orcas are bigger

1

u/ThrowinSm0ke 2d ago

Brown lie down, black fight back, white you’re dead

1

u/bohenian12 2d ago

Maybe "land" predator. Though I'm not sure. I'll let others correct me on that lol. And the bear seems fed enough, if that fucker decides to lunge at you good luck.

1

u/redwoodavg 2d ago

That’s extra dumb.

1

u/mjmccy 2d ago

Sharks are bigger

1

u/Josette22 2d ago

Did he survive the encounter?

1

u/viridianvenus 2d ago

What do you even do in a situation like that?

1

u/Responsible_Egg_6896 2d ago

Just deciding if it wants to make a happy meal out of him...

1

u/Whale222 2d ago

His coat is in good condition

1

u/Aggravating-Front-75 2d ago

Proud of the neighborhood dogs

1

u/likemice2 2d ago

Isn’t the world’s largest predator the blue whale?

2

u/Abject_Prior_219 19h ago

I was going to say this is like swimming with a great white but this is actually an order of magnitude dumber.

1

u/BawRawg 2d ago

Russia?

5

u/FrankaGrimes 2d ago

Could be Svalbard. It's not uncommon for there to be polar bears there. And they definitely do kill people.

1

u/Hrafndraugr 2d ago

He's so lucky, were that bear hungry he would be very very dead. They are one of the few creatures that hunt us.

1

u/Dry_Cardiologist6758 1d ago

Surprise twist: the idiot drops his phone and goes back for it only to end up as polar bear chow!

0

u/Express_Sea_5312 2d ago

Largest predator on land but sperm whales take the cake

-1

u/Mesterjojo 2d ago

OP says so dumb...

OP has never been outside nevermind to a place where that dude may not have seen that bear, and so was surprised and unprepared.

3

u/Spiritual_Bridge84 2d ago

If you can’t see that hanging around and standing there… up front and close to an apex predator with your phone out is dumb, and worse, ‘continuing’ to film instead of backing away, then you’re absolutely as dumb or dumber than this guy; and you can’t be helped.

Your presumption is predicated that he’s been surprised by the bear… he doesn’t seem to have been surprised at all, based on the fact that he’s camera out and CONTINUING TO FILM. Someone who would have been caught unaware would be already backing away, not whipping out a phone and “Oh now that I’m here I may as well video this polar bear” and continuing to film. Was this actually you being dumb by any chance?

0

u/Introvert_Collin 2d ago

What a dumbass. Anything for content to post, I guess