r/moviecritic 1d ago

nosferatu is absolutely horrible Spoiler

saw nosferatu tonight and i'm not even close to a regular movie critic, but i don't know if i've ever seen a worse movie. i walked out of the theater with my mind absolutely blown, (and possibly destroyed). how did this even make it to theaters, and even more importantly, how does this movie have 87% on rotten tomatoes?? it was disgusting to say the least. wish i could bleach my eyes and my brain.

spoiler alert

edit: i will say that i had pretty much no problem with it until she's possessed and says something about her husband not being able to please her like the vampire could, and then in what seems like an attempt to prove a point, they start aggressively banging? like...who had that idea? at that point the whole movie was pretty much ruined for me, and then it somehow managed to get worse as the movie went on, which ruined it even further. i do think that it started off strange, alluding to her as a child allowing this vampire to come into her soul or whatever, it's pretty weird. but up until that specific scene, and the many ones that would soon follow, having any chance of liking this movie was gone for me.

2 Upvotes

40 comments sorted by

12

u/FlakyImportance9529 1d ago

It was absolutely delicious. Appreciate you not feeling the same but I thought it was a treat start to finish. Beautifully shot and arranged. Excellent use of lighting and music. Shakespearean script wonderfully acted.

It was a bit grotesque but it comes with the genre.

9

u/Max_Cherry_ 1d ago

OP barely explains why they didn’t like it and just calls it disgusting. Worthless critique. Feels like bait to me.

0

u/BaewulfGaming 4h ago

The movie was terrible.

Eggers has a problem with saying his movies are about "x" of then the actual movie proves the opposite. This movie was about embracing lust? Apparently though it's bad to lust because then you'll draw a dead plague dude to you. In The Witch. It's bad to be a paranoid religious zealot? Well apparently not because she did indeed go with the devil and become a witch. Eggers says one thing then does another when it comes to the themes.

The characters were all very hateable, or even forgettable. In my opinion, Lily Rose Depp was kind of a psycho bitch in this film. First of all, she was rude to her husband several times, and she let her friend die on the second night by not giving in to Orlok before her death. She knew that was going to happen, she said so to her friends husband the ship guy, and then to Van Helsing, or whatever Dafoe's character was. Then during the funeral she had "no more tears to cry". Um, ok?

There was just an overall "wokeness" to the film that sort of tainted the period piece of it all. The dig at "female anxieties and melancholy", the piece of advice from the doctor saying to have her sleep in her corset for posture or just tie her down, van helsing/dafoe saying basically her taking back the power of her sexuality is what will kill the vampire, Lily Rose Depp constantly being mad at one person or another, blah blah blah. It just didn't fit the time, didn't make the characters likeable, and was not needed.

They barely showed Count Orlok, and when they did, he was a hunched over decrepit old man. He had NO presence in this film. And I absolutely love Bill Skarsgard. But the writing of Orlok was seriously lacking. In Coppola's Bram Stokers Dracula, they did an AMAZING job making it feel like Dracula was everywhere. He was always watching, always playing with things in the girls life, and was a real force to be feared. In Egger's film, he has NO presence. He was not scary. Not to mention they go the whole film saying he can't love her, he's just a monster with an insatiable appetite, then at the end they kiss? Why? His character should just bit her neck. Why the hell do they kiss if all that is true?

There was some strange need to make the film vulgar. Again, why? If this film is about lust then why have lust be so awful? Like the ship man having sex with his wife's dead body in the mausoleum in front of their kids' bodies? Lily Rose Depp and her husband having like angry sex when she says he can't please her like Orlok can. All of her "outbursts" being clearly sexual in nature.

It wasn't scary. There were also several direct rip-offs of Coppola's film that were just done worse. And many "special effects" that looked horrible, if not worse then Coppola's, who in 1993 didn't even have CGI.

I guess there were some shots that looked cool....that's pretty much the only good thing that came from the film. Don't even get me started on his damn moustache...which Eggers said was because "all Transvanian men at the time had moustaches".....ok, but Orlok isn't of that time. Pretty sure he wouldn't have been keeping up with the trends, either.

Overall, I was really disappointed with this film. Especially after how AMAZING The Northman was. I'd hoped maybe Eggers had finally hit a good stride.

1

u/Accomplished-Head449 48m ago

I'd rather watch Conan over The Northman, and I'd sure as hell would rather watch this Nosferatu over the other two

1

u/ImaginaryAdvantage71 9h ago

Could not disagree more. The cinematography wasted the locations with too many medium shots and bad transitions, the music was laborious and extremely loud for no reason with unnecessary clamorous hits, the sound effects failed to build any actual tension, the lighting was mediocre, the script failed to use the lead effectively... Actually, the script failed the entire production.

It's unfortunate, because I was really hoping for a well-shot, well-produced moody gothic horror, but what we got was a poorly shot, badly cut, loud and annoying slog of a movie, and that is not what the trailers sold me on.

Have to agree with the OP; I cannot understand the Rotten Tomatoes scores on this film. It wasn't even mediocre. I was terribly disappointed.

3

u/MarlonShakespeare2AD 18h ago

Good if you said why. What specifically you didn’t like.

1

u/Jaws044 8h ago

I just watched Nosferatu, I'll give my 2 cents. The movie felt unneven to me, I thought it was too long, and only enjoyed one of the characters. The rest of them were pretty stock. I also wish the count was more human. He reminded me of Snoke from Star Wars and didn't feel like a real person/monster that could reach out and touch you. There were some cool scenes where I was enjoying the movie and the atmosphere, and other scenes where I was like.. this movie kinda sucks.

0

u/BaewulfGaming 4h ago

The movie was terrible.

Eggers has a problem with saying his movies are about "x" of then the actual movie proves the opposite. This movie was about embracing lust? Apparently though it's bad to lust because then you'll draw a dead plague dude to you. In The Witch. It's bad to be a paranoid religious zealot? Well apparently not because she did indeed go with the devil and become a witch. Eggers says one thing then does another when it comes to the themes.

The characters were all very hateable, or even forgettable. In my opinion, Lily Rose Depp was kind of a psycho bitch in this film. First of all, she was rude to her husband several times, and she let her friend die on the second night by not giving in to Orlok before her death. She knew that was going to happen, she said so to her friends husband the ship guy, and then to Van Helsing, or whatever Dafoe's character was. Then during the funeral she had "no more tears to cry". Um, ok?

There was just an overall "wokeness" to the film that sort of tainted the period piece of it all. The dig at "female anxieties and melancholy", the piece of advice from the doctor saying to have her sleep in her corset for posture or just tie her down, van helsing/dafoe saying basically her taking back the power of her sexuality is what will kill the vampire, Lily Rose Depp constantly being mad at one person or another, blah blah blah. It just didn't fit the time, didn't make the characters likeable, and was not needed.

They barely showed Count Orlok, and when they did, he was a hunched over decrepit old man. He had NO presence in this film. And I absolutely love Bill Skarsgard. But the writing of Orlok was seriously lacking. In Coppola's Bram Stokers Dracula, they did an AMAZING job making it feel like Dracula was everywhere. He was always watching, always playing with things in the girls life, and was a real force to be feared. In Egger's film, he has NO presence. He was not scary. Not to mention they go the whole film saying he can't love her, he's just a monster with an insatiable appetite, then at the end they kiss? Why? His character should just bit her neck. Why the hell do they kiss if all that is true?

There was some strange need to make the film vulgar. Again, why? If this film is about lust then why have lust be so awful? Like the ship man having sex with his wife's dead body in the mausoleum in front of their kids' bodies? Lily Rose Depp and her husband having like angry sex when she says he can't please her like Orlok can. All of her "outbursts" being clearly sexual in nature.

It wasn't scary. There were also several direct rip-offs of Coppola's film that were just done worse. And many "special effects" that looked horrible, if not worse then Coppola's, who in 1993 didn't even have CGI.

I guess there were some shots that looked cool....that's pretty much the only good thing that came from the film. Don't even get me started on his damn moustache...which Eggers said was because "all Transvanian men at the time had moustaches".....ok, but Orlok isn't of that time. Pretty sure he wouldn't have been keeping up with the trends, either.

Overall, I was really disappointed with this film. Especially after how AMAZING The Northman was. I'd hoped maybe Eggers had finally hit a good stride.

4

u/No_Milk904 1d ago

Well now I'm sold, thanks

I feel like you hated poor things.

3

u/deficientterrestrial 17h ago

Poor things was disgusting

-1

u/BornAfromatum 15h ago

Poor Things was great.

5

u/deficientterrestrial 15h ago

They made her character into a child and then sexualized her. I don’t understand why this movie was so liked it felt wrong in so many ways. Because it was black and white and “artistic”?

0

u/BornAfromatum 15h ago

Some people have taste in things I guess.

1

u/BaewulfGaming 4h ago

Not anyone who likes this film clearly

1

u/BornAfromatum 4h ago

Incorrect.

0

u/BaewulfGaming 4h ago

Heres my 2 cents:

The movie was terrible.

Eggers has a problem with saying his movies are about "x" of then the actual movie proves the opposite. This movie was about embracing lust? Apparently though it's bad to lust because then you'll draw a dead plague dude to you. In The Witch. It's bad to be a paranoid religious zealot? Well apparently not because she did indeed go with the devil and become a witch. Eggers says one thing then does another when it comes to the themes.

The characters were all very hateable, or even forgettable. In my opinion, Lily Rose Depp was kind of a psycho bitch in this film. First of all, she was rude to her husband several times, and she let her friend die on the second night by not giving in to Orlok before her death. She knew that was going to happen, she said so to her friends husband the ship guy, and then to Van Helsing, or whatever Dafoe's character was. Then during the funeral she had "no more tears to cry". Um, ok?

There was just an overall "wokeness" to the film that sort of tainted the period piece of it all. The dig at "female anxieties and melancholy", the piece of advice from the doctor saying to have her sleep in her corset for posture or just tie her down, van helsing/dafoe saying basically her taking back the power of her sexuality is what will kill the vampire, Lily Rose Depp constantly being mad at one person or another, blah blah blah. It just didn't fit the time, didn't make the characters likeable, and was not needed.

They barely showed Count Orlok, and when they did, he was a hunched over decrepit old man. He had NO presence in this film. And I absolutely love Bill Skarsgard. But the writing of Orlok was seriously lacking. In Coppola's Bram Stokers Dracula, they did an AMAZING job making it feel like Dracula was everywhere. He was always watching, always playing with things in the girls life, and was a real force to be feared. In Egger's film, he has NO presence. He was not scary. Not to mention they go the whole film saying he can't love her, he's just a monster with an insatiable appetite, then at the end they kiss? Why? His character should just bit her neck. Why the hell do they kiss if all that is true?

There was some strange need to make the film vulgar. Again, why? If this film is about lust then why have lust be so awful? Like the ship man having sex with his wife's dead body in the mausoleum in front of their kids' bodies? Lily Rose Depp and her husband having like angry sex when she says he can't please her like Orlok can. All of her "outbursts" being clearly sexual in nature.

It wasn't scary. There were also several direct rip-offs of Coppola's film that were just done worse. And many "special effects" that looked horrible, if not worse then Coppola's, who in 1993 didn't even have CGI.

I guess there were some shots that looked cool....that's pretty much the only good thing that came from the film. Don't even get me started on his damn moustache...which Eggers said was because "all Transvanian men at the time had moustaches".....ok, but Orlok isn't of that time. Pretty sure he wouldn't have been keeping up with the trends, either.

Overall, I was really disappointed with this film. Especially after how AMAZING The Northman was. I'd hoped maybe Eggers had finally hit a good stride.

1

u/BornAfromatum 4h ago

No thanks.

2

u/BaewulfGaming 4h ago

Oh ok, stay in your echoe chamber. If you can't listen to the other side of your argument, then your side doesn't have legs to stand on 🤷‍♀️ also love that you had to comment something rude on the OPs opinion post. Grow up lmao

→ More replies (0)

1

u/Cap-Mindless 4h ago

Some people just like the taste of their own buttholes, I guess...lookin at you BornAfromatum

1

u/BornAfromatum 4h ago

Good one.

1

u/Cap-Mindless 4h ago

I know, that's because unlike you, I'm not a pretentious self filatiating narcissist.

1

u/BornAfromatum 4h ago

Yaaaaaawwwwnnn.

1

u/Cap-Mindless 4h ago

I'm sorry, I realize now that you probably hear that one all the time.

→ More replies (0)

2

u/Candycane139 7h ago

It wasn't good. Imagine how bad that movie would have been if it wasn't stylized.

1

u/BornAfromatum 7h ago

It was great.

1

u/your_add_here15243 22h ago

I did, but only because I found it boring. I can appreciate a lot of people liked it and the artistic approach it took

2

u/Scorpiyoo 1d ago

It might’ve been the best movie I’ve seen in years hahahah

To each their own!

2

u/Ok-Potato-4774 7h ago

I think it was the best movie I've seen this year.

1

u/Buchephalas 1d ago

I've liked everything Eggers has done so far and also really like both Nosferatu's, Murnau's and Herzog's so i'll be surprised if i agree with you.

2

u/Bennyandthejette 23h ago

The Eggers version pays homage to both the OG and Herzog’s. I loved the little nods to both films baked into the scenery and story. It was a real delight for me :) hope you like it!!

1

u/sid_fishes 1d ago

Hasnt opened here yet.

Looking forward to it.

1

u/slipperyslope0187 1d ago

Found u/patmcgroins alternate profile

1

u/[deleted] 23h ago

[deleted]

1

u/No_Milk904 23h ago

I hold the lighthouse in pretty high regard. It's on my personal list of greatest movies. Is this better than the lighthouse. The original Nosferatu is in my top 5 all time movies, I was going into this with high hopes because it was eggers handling the source material. But now I'm foaming at the mouth in anticipation.

1

u/BaewulfGaming 4h ago

The movie was terrible.

Eggers has a problem with saying his movies are about "x" of then the actual movie proves the opposite. This movie was about embracing lust? Apparently though it's bad to lust because then you'll draw a dead plague dude to you. In The Witch. It's bad to be a paranoid religious zealot? Well apparently not because she did indeed go with the devil and become a witch. Eggers says one thing then does another when it comes to the themes.

The characters were all very hateable, or even forgettable. In my opinion, Lily Rose Depp was kind of a psycho bitch in this film. First of all, she was rude to her husband several times, and she let her friend die on the second night by not giving in to Orlok before her death. She knew that was going to happen, she said so to her friends husband the ship guy, and then to Van Helsing, or whatever Dafoe's character was. Then during the funeral she had "no more tears to cry". Um, ok?

There was just an overall "wokeness" to the film that sort of tainted the period piece of it all. The dig at "female anxieties and melancholy", the piece of advice from the doctor saying to have her sleep in her corset for posture or just tie her down, van helsing/dafoe saying basically her taking back the power of her sexuality is what will kill the vampire, Lily Rose Depp constantly being mad at one person or another, blah blah blah. It just didn't fit the time, didn't make the characters likeable, and was not needed.

They barely showed Count Orlok, and when they did, he was a hunched over decrepit old man. He had NO presence in this film. And I absolutely love Bill Skarsgard. But the writing of Orlok was seriously lacking. In Coppola's Bram Stokers Dracula, they did an AMAZING job making it feel like Dracula was everywhere. He was always watching, always playing with things in the girls life, and was a real force to be feared. In Egger's film, he has NO presence. He was not scary. Not to mention they go the whole film saying he can't love her, he's just a monster with an insatiable appetite, then at the end they kiss? Why? His character should just bit her neck. Why the hell do they kiss if all that is true?

There was some strange need to make the film vulgar. Again, why? If this film is about lust then why have lust be so awful? Like the ship man having sex with his wife's dead body in the mausoleum in front of their kids' bodies? Lily Rose Depp and her husband having like angry sex when she says he can't please her like Orlok can. All of her "outbursts" being clearly sexual in nature.

It wasn't scary. There were also several direct rip-offs of Coppola's film that were just done worse. And many "special effects" that looked horrible, if not worse then Coppola's, who in 1993 didn't even have CGI.

I guess there were some shots that looked cool....that's pretty much the only good thing that came from the film. Don't even get me started on his damn moustache...which Eggers said was because "all Transvanian men at the time had moustaches".....ok, but Orlok isn't of that time. Pretty sure he wouldn't have been keeping up with the trends, either.

Overall, I was really disappointed with this film. Especially after how AMAZING The Northman was. I'd hoped maybe Eggers had finally hit a good stride.

1

u/SevilleWaterGuy 1d ago

Noooo I wanted to see it!