From just a random guy, not many friends, no community, sedentary, scared of communicating with others, unhealthy, no accomplishments. I want to go outside without being judged, without being molded by dogma, without feeling ashamed of myself. How can I do this? I know there is no direct answer but any insight is highly appreciated. Are there techniques of self-control to stop me from relying on tiktok reels to make me feel validated? Thanks!

I feel like my family has very certain ideas of who I am, and don’t really recognize the person I am today, regardless of the choice and mistakes I’ve made in the past, and it’s honestly very triggering (hate that word, but couldn’t think of anything else)

I’ve tried really hard the last few years to get to a place where I’m happy with the person that I am, but things get brought up that just really keep me getting pulled into the past and into a place I’m not longer in.

Does anyone else deal with this? What kind of things have you said to people who bring up older versions of yourself?

Hi!
I’ve been dealing with chronic pain and fatigue for the past year. After numerous tests, it’s clear that my pain isn’t structural but rooted in neuroplastic pathways.

When I picture my healthy self, I see someone who never thinks about pain. To become that person, I know I need to let go of the 'victim' identity, the 'pain' identity—to refuse it, to stop engaging with it.

I want to stop feeding it. Essentially, I want to slowly forget about the pain. But I don’t know how to do that while it’s actively hurting me.

Do you have any tips on how to actually do that? Today, the pain feels intense, and my conditioned brain is urging me to complain, to cry, to catastrophize, to believe my life is meaningless...

But I’m ready to let go of that. I want to stop reacting. That version of me belongs to the past.

I started journaling a month back or so and haven’t noticed any benefits of writing my thoughts down straight away. Re-reading older entries, however, really helps me understand my patterns and what to focus on as a result.

I looked for an app / method which would provide me insights about my behaviour and haven’t found anything good.

Do you know anything I can use?

If not, is that something you would use if it existed?

I like researching things, it gives me solisce; anyway. Through googling i have determined that i have a anxious/advoidant (Or sometimes dissmissive, i go between the two) attachment style

Now intellecually i'm aware that this is not a healty attachment style and that i should change (or at least try to). But also i have this overwhelming desire to not and just put my barriers up and not allow ANYONE in

I don't like people as a general entity; i can chat with people but i love my alone time and prefer to be alone, heck i don't even like sex because it requires oneself to be vulrnable and to me that's a big nope; if i get that urge porn exists. I have to remain in control otherwise who knows what the other person might do/try

I'm in a constant internal battle with myself and neither side is will to give in. Imagine trench warfare in WW1 if no-one had bothered to try and "break" that kind of warfare

I have been struggling with overthinking my whole life and recently just being aware about the thoughts has helped me very much, just wanted to share my approach and see if there are any flaws or points I am missing.

The voice in your head is not you ;

We are not our thoughts, just like every other organ of our body, brain also has a function and one of them is to generate shit load amounts of thoughts, these thoughts are generated based on years of conditioning and the fight or flight instincts of your mind.

Our brains also be churning mostly negative thoughts, interesting to think that brain almost overthinks the negative stuff, this alone should justify the fact that we are not our thoughts as brain priorities negative outcomes and threats first as you know we have "survival brain" to anticipate danger and look out or be prepared for the worst case scenario.

If we are not the thoughts then who we are???¿¿¿¿¿¿ maybe we are the awareness that allows a thought to be accepted or not so it's like considering the thoughts to be radio i.e just background noise and then you deciding which thoughts to accept and act upon, awareness is the key that these are not "your" Thoughts and these are just thoughts.

Now I feel like these awareness also is misleading as you don't always have to be aware of whatever you are doing/thinking hence one should try to rest the awareness itself so you can be more "yourself". these awareness cannot be rested for long but practicing again and again maybe one can try to delay it.

Resting awareness and always being aware about a thought and choosing to accept it or not is the key here I feel like.

I knew this already my whole life but it's just the realisation that has helped rn, for me it's like i need to not listen to my overthinking thoughts and look it from a top down pov of why that thought is there, if it doesn't help with my situation i need to be aware of it and just don't allow to ponder on it.

I have started this practice that if i start to think anything negative and it's absolutely dogshit of chain of thoughts without any reasoning and is irrational, i just start saying nope nope nope nope super fast in my mind till the thought goes away. Again the thought might come back but it's the practice of being aware which would help in the long run.

Sorry if I am all over the place, couldn't articulate and collect the thoughts properly :)

Hello, I’m 14 years old, but lately, I feel like I’m carrying the weight of a lifetime. I’ve been trapped in a constant loop of dissatisfaction, driven by an ego that’s never content and a mind that relentlessly fears the passing of time and the uncertainty of the future.

It’s exhausting—this endless striving for something I can’t even name, this fixation on what I lack rather than what I have. My thoughts feel like a storm, one that I’ve been fighting to control without ever realizing that perhaps the answer lies not in control but in surrender.

I’ve read about mindfulness and its potential to bring clarity, peace, and presence, and I can’t help but feel drawn to it. Yet, I don’t know where to start. How do I begin to untangle myself from this web of ego, fear, and restlessness? How do I take the first steps toward truly being present, toward embracing life as it is, without letting the shadow of “what could be” or “what was” consume me?

I want to learn to live with intention, to experience the world around me without the constant chatter of my mind distorting it. If you’ve been on this path, I would deeply value your advice. What practices or resources helped you when you first started? Are there any routines, books, or perspectives you’d recommend for someone in my position?

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Even writing these thoughts out feels like a small act of mindfulness, and I hope this is the first of many steps toward a more present, meaningful existence.

Warm regards, A seeker.

I went to a techno club under the influence. I slowly felt my body loosen. The tension in my muscles and the weight on my chest disappeared, replaced by a sense of euphoria. I kept stretching and moving my arms, running my hands through the hair on the back of my head. I felt free in a way I hadn’t for a long time.

It wasn’t the music or the atmosphere that shaped my experience that night. Instead, it was the people around me. For the first time, I could sense their energy, their emotions, and their existence in a way that felt vivid and real. My usual social anxiety disappeared, leaving behind a version of myself I didn’t fully recognize but wanted to embrace.

I wandered through the club, speaking to strangers, complimenting their style, and acknowledging their presence. It felt effortless to connect with them like the invisible barrier that usually separated me from others had gone. At one point, I found myself in the smoking lounge, talking about this revelation with someone who seemed uniquely interested in everything I was saying.

They listened intently as I rambled about my thoughts, projecting my insecurities and unfiltered realizations. When I mentioned how easy it felt to connect with people they pointed out that the actual reason was that I became closer to my authentic self. I had no longer put on a mask, or an invisible barrier around me. Their words stopped me in my tracks. I hadn’t thought of it that way, but it made sense. The ease of connection wasn’t just about the absence of fear; it was about being myself without pretence.

There was something extraordinary about this person. Even though I was just rambling my thoughts, they never looked away. Not once. They paid full attention, their gaze steady and intent. I didn’t feel intimidated by their focus; instead, I felt as if I was heard for the first time. Whenever I finished speaking, they asked thought-provoking questions that made me pause and reflect, pushing me to dig deeper into myself.

They were the most perceptive person I had ever met. Every word they spoke carried weight and value. I was in genuine awe of their presence, infatuated with the way they simply existed at the moment. I told them as much, confessing they were the most interesting person in the world. They only smiled and replied, “I’m not doing anything special. I’m just here, being present".

It seemed too simple to be true, but it really was that simple. Their presence, her ability to align herself spiritually and emotionally with me, felt magical. When I expressed joy or happiness, I could sense that she felt it too, simply by being there, by truly being with me.

There was a moment in which we locked eyes for a solid minute, without saying a word. Even though nothing was said, I experienced a very calming, and spiritual feeling that seemed to be mutual. It felt like we were on the same wavelength.

Since that interaction, I’ve been obsessed with the idea of being present. It’s such a simple concept but one that holds power. To be fully there, without distraction or pretence, is the purest way to connect with others and yourself. I want to become present in the moment, a goal of mine for next year. How can I do this?

The Interconnection of Life, Death, and the Infinite:

In our everyday experience, we are constantly perceiving light, time, and space, which form the basis of our reality. According to quantum physics, things only "exist" when we observe them, and without observation, they cease to have a defined state. This raises an interesting possibility: what if death is simply the cessation of experiencing these elements—light, time, and space—and the transition into a state where these boundaries no longer exist?

In this state of "nothingness," we may not experience "nothing" in the way we understand it, but rather experience a different kind of existence—one beyond our current comprehension. This state could be described as infinite, timeless, and spaceless. The idea aligns with many religious teachings, where God is seen as eternal, omnipresent, and beyond the constructs of time and space.

In many religious beliefs, those who follow certain divine rules are rewarded in the afterlife, while those who don't face punishment. But what if, after death, all distinctions between "good" and "bad" fade because we enter a realm beyond time and place? In such a state, it's already "known" who belongs where because, in the absence of time, past, present, and future are unified.

Death, then, could be understood as a final transition into a state of infinite unity, where all questions—whether about physics, life, or existence—are answered, and we become one with the infinite. This idea links to the concept of infinity as a place where no further exploration is needed, where we transcend dualities and are free from the limitations of human perception.

In this view, life may be the journey through light, time, and space, while death is the return to the infinite, where everything is unified and beyond questioning. The concepts of religion and science may not be as separate as they seem, but rather two perspectives on the same eternal truth.

SUMMARY: HOW CAN I APPROACH MY CHRONIC PAIN LIKE OCD?

Hi everyone!

I’ve been dealing with chronic pain (tension headaches, vision issues) and chronic fatigue for about a year and a half. After countless medical consultations and tests, it’s clear that my pain isn’t structural.

I’m well aware of neuroplastic pain and how the brain can get stuck in a danger/pain loop. I’ve explored mind-body healing approaches like somatic training, and while I’m not afraid of my symptoms or ‘feeling’ them, simply trying to feel safe hasn’t been enough.

I’ve noticed that the only times I’m pain-free are when I completely forget about it. But my constant checking-in, hypervigilance, and focus on the pain seem to be feeding it. I’ve also struggled with dissociation and insomnia, and I’m beginning to see my chronic pain through an OCD lens—it feels like an obsession I can’t stop thinking about.

My goal is to detach this pain from my identity within the next three months.

Do you have any advice on how to break this cycle? How can I stop checking in, reduce hypervigilance, and avoid getting overwhelmed by negativity—especially when the pain feels so present and life-limiting?

Any strategies or insights would mean a lot. Thank you!

Beings of love light awaken: Your truth defines your reality https://a.co/d/4Q1tIrs

Sometimes our best efforts fall short and try as we may, we may be misunderstood. In that case, it is okay to be misunderstood. Not everyone needs to see us the way we see ourselves. Sometimes we can try and clarify the misunderstanding and sometimes we can choose to walk away knowing we did our best to clear the misunderstanding. It doesn't change who we are or what we were trying to do. The only thing that matters is that you are clear with yourself. And trust yourself. You deserve understanding from yourself. 💝 Till next time, I love you💕

I see people arguing on how strange the other side are

What's crazy is that i have a foot on the two sides I use them both simultaneously they're both useful ways of thinking, and to those whose heads never quite don't worry i'll tell you how it works i promise not all of them are NPCs they can be just less fun

People who don't have an inner voice in their head, It's thinking in a similar manner as the deaf would, thoughts, ideas and emotions without language
That can be an advantage at times you can process information faster in a way you're a better learner.

a human being isn't born with just one way or the other it's just that our minds get wired differently like one eats with their right hand and other with their left You can't possibly argue with which one is better

The human mind is a mystery.

Are there ways to prevent stressful situations from becoming long-term memories?

So that we don't continue to suffer months and years after the stress has passed?

here are too examples that I find contradictory. Could someone please explain to me the difference. 1.) Pedophilia. Actions > thoughts. one cannot control there thoughts, so a pedophile should act in accordance to their morals, rather than their personal thoughts and interests, and obviously not pursue minors. 2.) Being Fake. Thoughts > Actions. one cannot control there thoughts, but rather it is VERY looked down upon to be friends with someone that you deep down hate, because its fake and you are using them for their extrinsic value.

Can someone explain to me where you draw the line in these examples. The parallel if not obvious already is that in one example, you act in accordance to your thoughts with being friends with people you like as opposed to someone you hate, whereas in the other you act out of accordance with what you would feel inside, which in that case, the action is weighed above the thought. I have all of these equivalences running through my head all the time so some clarity would be awesome! Thanks

My cousin sent a childhood photo of mine, asked me who is he, knowing well that it's me, to get some pamper I was like, who is he??? Is he .... Like that. I showed that pic to my parents, can't recognise that photo, their child. One and only. Well they're 70. Can't blame them, but it hurts, like a scar, it'll remain forever. See you all, later.

I think it's helpful to do formal meditation and really focus on mindfulness but are there little practices or things you've learned that you found quite illuminating, practices that have helped you see things in a new way, enjoy life more, settle down your mind, reduce your stress, or improve your life in any other way?

Sometimes, we may think that only those who are financially successful have value and deserve respect. But that's not true. Each one of us contributes in some way or the other. Think about a baby that cannot even lift its head. But yet it brings such joy to our lives. Think about a stay at home dad taking care of the house and his children. Think about a daughter who quits a great job to be there for her sick parents. Money is not the supreme or the only determinant of your value. 💕🫂 You have value. Till next time, I love you 💝

So I have been practicing meditation seriously for about 10 years and living as a Buddhist monk for 6 years full-time at monasteries around the world training with a variety of very inspiring and powerful teachers of spirituality.

Hoping to bring some benefit to the community by answering questions and sharing experience.

Thank you

My anxiety comes to me at night, whether at bedtime or it creeps in through the middle of the night, keeping me up. The anxiety lately is heavy, such as threats to the scientific community with the incoming administration, with me being an aspiring neuroscientist about to attend grad school.

I feel like I do a great job for my overall mental health- I exercise, practice mindfulness, go to bed at a decent time, low sugar/caffeine intake, hardly ever drink, don't smoke, no red meat- I feel pretty good during the day. I've journaled and use CBN (can't do melatonin) and practice breath work at bedtime when I feel I need it. I don't do medication.

Any tips/suggestions on trying to manage this nighttime anxiety?

I’ve held a meditation practice for around 7 years.

Early on I used mainly guided meditation. As time has passed I usually like to start with a short guided meditation then finish with a 15-25m open ended unguided meditation.

Often in my unguided meditation I like to pack in things like gratitude, intention setting, affirmations or visualizations etc… but I also try to work in solid blocks of simply focusing on the breath or something similar.

My question is… am I doing too much? I really value the front loaded stuff that I do but often wonder if I’m not doing enough of the latter, focusing on the breath or simply existing absent of thought.

I’m curious what insight you all might share on the topic?

Thank you in advance.

It’s been a month since that breakup, and I’ve reached a point where I no longer feel sad. Actually, I don’t feel much of anything. When I’m not occupied, it’s as if there’s this overwhelming sense of nothingness, almost a quiet melancholy. There’s a void inside me, but I lack the energy or will to fill it. I can’t help but think this is the aftermath of the trauma.

Sometimes I wonder if this is part of healing, like feeling nothing is better than feeling pain. But other times, it feels like something deeper, like I’ve lost a part of myself. I try to believe that things will get better, but it’s hard not to think that this emptiness is because of the pain I went through. It feels like it’s still with me, even now.

Een when you know it didn't say anything about your character or it wasn't about you. Even when it gets to the point that it doesn't help when you know the fact that they must be deeply unhappy to have done that to you in the first place.

Let's say you wish you could get justice. (I also don't think karma is real anymore)