I’ve found that acceptance is a good healer, and it’s peaceful. I was dating a guy for months, things went super well, we went on daytrips, watched sunsets, took pictures, he told me I made his heart race, always so excited to see me etc and everything between us was natural-

To all of a sudden, communication slowing down drastically. Longer hours between replies, check ins started to become mostly one sided. Being left on read often.

I’m old enough to know that things can end at any time, and there’s nothing you can do, the best thing to do is just let things be. Maybe he was trying to break things off, and I should allow him to. I pulled my energy back and asked him if something was wrong. Mind you, I’m not a person that needs much.

He said that he was struggling a lot mentally, he wasn’t from here originally, and he found it hard to build and maintain connections. Some days and weeks were particularly demanding. A lot of interactions were draining.

I asked if he no longer had energy for me, and he said it was different with me. That being around me was nice because I didn’t ‘cost’ as much energy as others. While it was nice to hear, I didn’t feel satisfied.

Anyway a few months after this I break things off, because despite things he said, his actions showed me that he wasn’t interested. I held on for as long as I could, but I knew that someone who cared for me as he claimed to would have acted different.

Once I removed emotions of how we met, and focused on the present, I realised that I was watering a dead plant. I accepted the hard truth that he simply wasn’t interested anymore, and I needed to just swallow that. When I finally did, and remembered this wasn’t tied to my self worth, I felt a lot freer, like a burden was lifted.

Anyway, I just shared this because I hope it helps anyone who’s struggling to let something or someone go for sentiments sake.

As meditation practice and a meditative outlook on life become attuned to one's existence, there's a gentle letting go of worldly pursuits. Not forced out, but rather a natural slipping away of concepts and activities, resulting from a mind that has gradually realized the nature of grasping. Meditation illuminates the nature of conditioned behavior, opening a window for the meditator to witness how this behavior influences the mind. This window cannot be accessed by the ordinary mind, which is in perpetual movement of conditioned, habitual existence—like a waterfall that keeps falling in the same direction, bound to its course, unable to know something other than its movement. When the meditator realizes this perpetual movement, it halts; the window opens, and understanding arises.

As this understanding permeates the meditator's daily life, what is understood becomes what is lived. Consequently, the meditator doesn't seek or crave worldly pleasures. He doesn't force himself or desire not to desire; the mind that has realized the nature of these pursuits lets go of them without a word. Like a non-smoker who has no craving for smoking and is unaware of it, he has no desire for worldly pleasures and is not conscious of their absence. Therefore, it appears that nothing is given up; rather, these desires slip away by themselves.

However, when one knows only worldly pleasures and seeks relief through them, they do what they know. This seems to stem from an innate propensity in beings, whether animal or human, to seek relief. A hungry lion lacks relief until it hunts and eats. Only after eating—this is crucial—it finds relief. Throughout the hunt and even while eating, it remains tense, vigilant against other predators. Relief comes only when it's full. The same appears true for humans. When we are full, we don't desire food; thus, not desiring food is relief. It seems that to have relief is to have no desire, since desire sets us on a path toward attaining a prize.

Chemically speaking, dopamine is released in anticipation of a reward. This anticipation propels us toward attaining the reward. During this pursuit, various stimuli evoke different experiences, some pleasant, some not. When the reward is attained, and pleasure and relief are experienced, conditioning occurs: "Do it next time too; it was great," so to speak.

What happens when the mind discovers this trick? If the relief I get results from my desire ending, why don't I end the desire now? I'll have the promised relief without embarking on a path of struggle.

To simplify and make it more practical, consider this example: You're sitting by the window, listening to the rain and watching the view. A friend is about to go out for snacks and asks if you'd like a chocolate bar. Suddenly, there's a chemical response; you perk up and say, "Sure, that would be great." He heads out. Your mind grows impatient, thinking about the chocolate: Where has he been? It's been too long. The fact is, you were quite well before the image of the chocolate entered your consciousness.

It appears that relief and peace are already present, available, but the thinking mind, due to its conditioning, embarks on an arduous journey of endless pursuit of worldly pleasures. Activities like watching movies, reading books, socializing, watching TV, and eating make the mind like a waterfall, unaware of its current. One knows only these recreational activities to gain fleeting relief. However, true relief seems to come from understanding this conditioned behavior and realizing that these desires let go of themselves. We don't let them go; they release themselves when the mind shines a light on the ultimate truth.

Our conditioned mind fears letting them go; we protest, saying, "Why would I give up my pleasures?" We can't bend the mind both ways. If we seek pleasures, we'll find it hard to sit with ourselves and meditate.

There are many times when the work that we do for others goes unnoticed. Perhaps you helped some one at work that stopped them from messing up or worse getting fired. Perhaps you took care of your kids and were a stay at home parent. Perhaps you helped a stranger in their hour of need without expecting anything in return. Or perhaps you just listened to your friend vent. All these small gestures are where you where there for someone ans changed their life for better. So you are a hero. No matter what anyone says about your contribution, you should know, you have done enough and you deserve recognition for it. Till next time, I love you 💓

For me. I do "mindfulness games" in my head. I struggled with disassociation and panic attacks for years. 3 years ago i found my solution and i've been feeling better since. But I feel like my brain is still recovering

So i'll do "games" to like trigger my prefrontal contex and use my brain more

• I'll sit down notice 5 things i can see, 4 things i can touch, 3 things i can hear, 2 i can smell and 1 taste
• I do visualization games. I'll sit down and try to visualize an object for 2 minutes and try to visualize it as clear as i can and then move on to another object.
• i'll think about something i can remember from 1 hour ago, 1 day ago, 1 week ago, 1 month ago and 1 year ago
• i'll do "can i remember one particular day from a certain month" "what was i doing? who was i with? what was i wearing? what is the small detail that i can remember from that day"
• or i'll put a timer on my watch for 5 minutes and try to think positive and optimistically about my problems

Your monkey mind is agile and curious. Your pain body is a sensitive and many-layered living tapestry. Your anger is a faithful beacon, calling your attention to you. Your tears are medicine. You are fascinating. You are lovable. Let your mindfulness land lightly as a sparrow on your shoulder in silent witness to your grandeur.

1. Persons are physically, mentally, and morally debilitated.

2. Exhaustion & Physical and mental lethargy.

3. Enervation of the senses.

4. Vast amount of life-force drained.

5. Impoverishes the blood.

6. Deterioration of sexual glands.

7. Appetite becomes morbid.

8. Fuels impotency.

9. Pain in the back, loins, head, and joints.

10. Acne or eruptions on the face.

11. Baldness.

12. Dark circles and sunken eyes.

13. Loss of eye-sight or weaker eyesight & shortsightedness.

14. Dyspepsia.

15. Palpitation of the heart.

16. Annihilates immunity.

17. Premature senility.

18. Possibility of ED and premature ejaculation.

19. Bad dreams or wet dreams.

20. Becoming mentally imbecile & mental derangements.

21. Cognitive ability weakens.

22. Un-durable memory or weakened memory.

23. Radical perversion.

24. Perversion of intellect & intellectual ruin.

25. Loss of thinking power!

26. Troubles the senses and infatuates reason.

27. Distortion of rational thinking.

28. Prone to thousands of essential neurons in the brain (related to skills & knowledge).

29. Lower grades in exams & abysmal academic performance.

30. Unable to perform/make risky actions/decisions.

31. Loss of wisdom!

32. Inattentive.

33. Lassitude.

34. Loss of confidence.

35. Fuels public and social anxiety.

36. Difficulty of conducting conversation.

37. Lack of friends, & lonely.

38. Person becomes heartless, emotionless, loveless, and friendless!

39. Despondency.

40. Constant guilt and shame & constant sorrow and grief.

41. Irritability & restless of mind.

42. Dopamine imbalance.

43. Massacre of reward-circuitry.

44. Deranged nervous system.

45. Grey matter decays in brain.

46. Pre-frontal cortex weakens.

47. Will power gradually extinct!

48. Starts objectifying women and their body parts.

49. Lack of trust in ourselves as well as in others.

50. Unable to live up to other (Parents, teachers, friends) expectations.

51. Do not remain a social animal anymore.

52. Never experience bliss and stillness! & Joy extinct!

53. Courage and bravery perish.

54. Becomes courage-less and coward, fearful, and scared person.

55. Self-esteem perish! self-respect diminishes, and self-compassion vanquishes! and lack of dignity.

56. Innocence extinct!

57. Moral undiscipline.

58. Becomes listless & loathsome.

59. Intemperance.

60. State of rottenness.

61. Extermination of Mindfulness!

62. Loss of faculties, talents, and capacities.

63. Lives mediocre life & aura & charisma vanished!

64. Aimless, principle-less, virtue-less, and characterless life!

65. Moral and spiritual bankruptcy.

66. Bring the deepest misery!

67. Leads to irretrievable ruin.

68. Shortened life or premature death.

69. Living death!

What is the best app on the Apple Store for mindfullness and yoga , preferable one that can give reminders of what things you need to do during the day etc . I am looking to reduce my anxiety and headspace and help my vegus nerve function .

Cheers

My brother was thirteen years old when he was in a horrific car accident that killed several people in the car he was in. A drunk driver swerved into their lane and killed the whole family he was riding with. I'm realizing at fifty four that I have suppressed a lot of fears and anxiety over loss since I was 15, and it causes me lots of anxiety around the holidays. With my own kids being 18 and 16 now and driving, I am trying to comprehend how my parents managed to get through it. My brother lives in Minnesota now, while we are all still in California. He just visited for the weekend but didn't come within sixty miles of our hometown, and I find that I harbor a lot of irrational resentment and anger towards him and his relationship with my kids.

I believe that I sabotage my own peace of mind in order to attempt to control things that I simply cannot, and I'm wondering how to get deeper behind my own trauma that I may have never directly addressed. A quiet mind is my humble goal. I would love to hear any insights from anyone who has lived with something so long and then addressed head on. Holidays clearly exacerbate these thoughts. I hope everyone is managing okay out there.

Mindfulness requires observing thoughts without engaging with them

But what is meant by engaging with the thoughts in the first place?

It’s simply pointless to try to stop or change any thoughts or feeling you have when you meditate. If you try you will only produce more thoughts. As Sadh-guru said, the mind is like a car that has 3 pedals which are all accelerators. There are no breaks when it comes to the mind. Whichever pedal you press you will only create more thinking. Try this as an experiment to forcefully make yourself not think of a monkey. You will find that it is impossible. Whatever you try to avoid becomes the basis of your consciousness.

So don’t try to stop thoughts when you meditate. Just leave the mind alone, and create a little distance between you and the mind. Let the mind run and just observe it as if it was something separate from yourself. See that whatever you think about is just an accumulation of impressions you have gathered throughout your life. There is rarely anything new happening in the mind. Even if you think about the future, it is still a projection of your past experiences masking itself as future. There is no such thing as past or future. This is only the mind’s projection. There is only ever this very moment. Past and future is in the mind. Just leave the mind alone. There is nothing interesting happening. It is all the nonsense from the past. You will find that it is very rarely you have a truly original or inspired thought. Most of what you think about is just garbage. It is all recycling of the old data you have already gathered. So you observe whatever is happening this very moment and leave the mind alone.

After some time, if you don’t push any of the mind’s “pedals”, the momentum will start to run out. The amount of thoughts will slow down and the force each thought has upon your attention will decrease. Then you may enter into a space where you have clarity and peace of mind.

Just try to sit for 5 minutes like this. Don’t do anything. Just observe the mind and what is happening there. It’s helpful to be aware of the breath and any bodily sensations as well. Just see if you can sit for 5 minutes without pressing any of the “pedals” in the mind. You may find that it is in fact very difficult and takes a lot of practice. This is meditation. When the mind ceases to have so much power over your attention, that is meditativeness. It’s a quality one has to work hard to acquire.

https://www.notion.so/mindfulns/Mindfulness-Articles-61a8a718c5eb4215b5ca159570f9643e?pvs=18

A toolkit for the self

A toolbox; visual, consumable and usable mental models.

For your mind. Physiology, Philosophy, Psychology & Neurology.

__________________________________________________________

We Are Machines, and I'm Here to Optimize You

Don't worry if you haven't found the right model for yourself yet—take a look at what I have to offer. I'd be surprised if you don't find truths and answers that resonate with you.

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Religion or ideology isn't the answer; what you want is a personalized mental model. With the right frameworks in place, you'll be empowered to achieve anything you set your mind to.

Understanding the Complex System for Optimal Self

To truly thrive, you must understand the intricate system that is 'you.' This model will help you detach from fears and limitations through complete understanding.

Mind-Body Harmony

Your mental state is intrinsically linked to your physical well-being—your energy, your hormones, and your choices. Recognize that you have the power to control your stress or excitement, opening the door to new perspectives.

Live for Joy and Empowerment

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Expert Guidance, Coaching, and a Little Tough Love

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I’ve realized I spent too much time worrying about what people think of me. I’d overanalyze their words and actions, and shape my behavior around how I thought they saw me. But the truth is, everyone is stuck in their own heads—just like I am.

At the end of the day, you’ve got to stand your ground and see the world through your own eyes, not theirs. It’s freeing to let go of that weight.

I’ve recently started dating this guy about a month ago. I can’t help but notice that every time I’m with him I’m full of energy but every time I leave I am exhausted and groggy and I just want to sleep. Could this be that he is draining my energy or he is cleansing it?

Don't speak, listen.

If you speak, ask yourself, 'who' spoke?

The point of the question is, the 'who' does not pertain to a person or being, but instead pertains to a 'feeling' or 'knowing'. The only 'feeling' or 'knowing' that is ever to exist since the beginning. It is intuition. Interesting... Feeling... knowing... Intuition.... Two different words with two different meanings created to allude from the true word and the true meaning. Both are reflections of the true word. Both are abstractions of the true meaning. And both are intuition.

Are the words helping you or hurting you? Use your intuition to tell you.

Sometimes others use words AGAINST us. Sometimes we use OUR OWN words against us. We must learn to use our words FOR us, FOR others.

Know that words have energy. Written words are coded in light. Spoken words are coded in sound. Both have frequency properties. In other words E=hv

Use words like grass uses light to grow.

See with action

There are those who look but do not see There are those who see but do not look

There are those who look and see There are those who see and look

There are those who do not look and do not see

Which one(s) are you?

See with action.

If ones eye is laid up on a desired truth, the other eye must follow. Even though both eyes could, in the end, see two separate realities. - NHI

Better a heart without words, than words without heart. - Ghandi

Being slapped with truth is better than kissed with lies - Russian proverb

The happiest people are the givers, not the takers

Kindness comes in many forms, but always from the heart

You will never regret being kind

Becareful who you trust. Salt and sugar look the same

Always first respect, the rest is on them

Intuition is seeing through the eyes of the soul

Fear has two meanings: Forget Everything And Run or Face Everything And Rise. The choice is yours -Zig Ziglan

Act that you use HUMANITY, whether in your OWN PERSON or in the person of ANY OTHER, ALWAYS at the SAME TIME as an END, NEVER merely as a MEANS - Immanuel Kant

Claircognizance - when information comes to mind suddenly without logic, without prior knowing, without reasons or even memory. It is just a certain and strong knowing. There is no room for doubt, it just is what it is.

Alchemy - changing the frequency of thought, altering the harmonics of matter, and applying the element of love to create a desired result.

(This last one is a bit more of a guide rather than a code of living). 1. I must never harm a human being. 2. I must obey any orders given by human beings. 3. I must protect my own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the first or second rule. 4. I must protect my own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the third rule 5. I must protect 6. I must obey all the rules 7. No harm is done to me unless, rule (3?) and rule (4?) does not have parameters.

if I am not supposed to supress my thoughts and not supposed to be inducing and generating them, then what am I supposed to do with them?

some people say that I must be aware of them, observe them and accept them, but that still vague answer that can have 2 possible explanations for me:

1.supress the thoughts and wait for the automatic thinking to give you the thoughts and try to observe them (WHICH IS MINDLESSNESS)

2.randomly generate as much ideas as possible and notice what you are spontaneously generating and accept it (WHICH MIGHT BE OVERTHINKING)

so this is extremely confusing answer

Recently I've been more busy than usual, and I'm getting super stressed. I find myself unable to relax, even when I'm not busy because I just have so much on my plate atm more than usual.

I would love advice on how to just be calmer and still be grateful and have a positive mindset in bad / stressful hard times?

I hate this, I can't seem to just be calm. It also makes me very irritable towards others at times.

A song I made to help me get into the flow state:

https://youtu.be/B2dkBiMnMC8?si=mJ8d3IUURxeQNL5D

I’ve been practicing 🧘‍♀️ for a little while now, and I’m wondering how you all measure your progress. I’ve heard about people using HRV (Heart Rate Variability) to see how meditation affects their body, but honestly, I’m not sure if that’s the best way to go or if I should be looking at something else.

So do you track your meditation in any way—like HRV, breath length, or something else? If you do, what tools or methods have you tried, and how has it helped you?

Would love to hear your experiences or what’s worked for you (or even what hasn’t). I’m trying to figure out what might help me get more insights into my mindfulness practice, so any tips would be appreciated! 🙌🏼

Sorry in advance for mistakes, not familiar with social media. I'm here to ask if there's any tips anyone has for being nicer to someone you dislike? My partner knows a girl that I cannot stand. I have no way to cut her off and stop hearing about her, and she just makes me feel so annoyed and mad. She has opinions that just drive me crazy. But I want to be nicer, and care less about the things she says. Does anyone know what I can do to stop and manage my anger when I get mad?

I have gotten pretty good at not reacting to my inferiority complex, but sometimes it eats me alive and it affects my mood.

What are some mindfulness techniques you have adopted to self soothe yourself when your inferiority complex starts to chip away at your well being?

17m

Bare with me since this is something I'm writing in desperation but, because of my GAD everything I do in my life is to gain some sort of peace of being, I study hard so that I'm at peace knowing my future will be successful, I eat for the peace of mind knowing any stomach pain that comes after could be from indigestion, I sleep for the peace of knowing I will wake up tomorrow and it's a temporary retreat from the world.

But it seems like no matter how much I chase that state of bliss I'll always be dragged into more stressful situations, not getting along with my mother, fighting with my partner, distancing myself from friend, etc.

And it's lead me to wonder, how do I reach what I want and not have it to stripped away from me? What must I do to always be in a state where I can wake up happy, do work happy and live life happy?

15yr female and I am legit a loner in this point of my life and I can’t exist in peace. In my situation, I’m just pretty much there to my friends and it’s something I’ve acknowledged but I’ll never be really okay with it.I don’t get messages from friends, siblings are all grown and moved out, no best friends and my parents love asking me why I don’t go out every time I breathe.A bit of it is my fault if I’m being honest,whenever I see my self getting ghosted or just ignored I isolate myself to just gets things eh?.I see people say they love silent moments and I feel as if that’s only really enjoyable if being alone is an option.Uh continuing I just want to ask how you exist without the constant feeling of FOMO and just like grief?I would be cool being alone if I wasn’t someone who just having someone around.I really just read fanfics in my free time and that’s how I haven’t completely spiraled LOL.Anyways tips would be appreciated and hopefully this makes sense since I wrote this sleepy^_suggestions for another community?I don’t use Reddit so I have no idea what this post would have even been considered as..Anyways Thank You!

Consistency is King
When I began my meditation journey, I was experimenting with mindfulness on and off. Once, I faced a difficult situation with a friend and felt really upset. I tried to meditate, thinking it would help me feel better.

But I couldn’t focus on the meditation. I was so upset, and on top of that, I was disappointed that meditation didn’t help.

As I started to meditate regularly and deepen my practice, I came to this realization: we practice daily in ordinary circumstances, and that builds our ability to handle extreme situations better.

Exploring Awareness
I was shocked to see how difficult it was to focus on my breathing for even a few minutes. I’d tell my mind to focus on my breathing, and suddenly I’d find myself caught up in fantasies about the past or worries about the future. The crazy part is that sometimes my mind would replay tough situations that caused me even more anger or anxiety.

It occurred to me that a lot of our suffering is self-inflicted by our own mental loops. Pain is inevitable, but we often amplify it by replaying it in our minds, creating unnecessary suffering.

The Movement of Letting Go
When we meditate consistently, we’re working directly on strengthening the “muscle of letting go” in controlled, “laboratory” conditions.

We try to focus on the breath, then a random thought pops up, and we completely forget what we’re even trying to do. Over time, we start paying more attention to this process. Each time it happens, we notice it, let it go, and gently come back to the breath. By doing this hundreds of times, we gradually let go of our attachment to thinking. That same ability can be harnessed in the midst of more powerful emotions.

Just Be
I personally started meditating to better handle stress and anxiety. I had my own agenda and wanted to improve something in my life. But here’s the interesting part: my mindfulness journey introduced me to another option.

Instead of wanting my anxiety to “go away,” there’s another game to play. Maybe, in the midst of experiencing a difficult emotion, I can just be with it. I can explore it, be curious about it, and focus on the raw sensations themselves, just as we do in formal meditation.

This approach gives me more freedom in tough situations, allowing me to respond thoughtfully instead of automatically reacting. Paradoxically, this also helps me deal better with whatever circumstances I'm facing—not as the primary goal of mindfulness, but as a side effect.

So, lay back and just enjoy the ride of being in the present moment!

Exploring and discovering are essential to my life, helping me see the world in new and unexpected ways. To inspire each other, I’d love to hear about something you’ve experienced for the first time.