r/me_irl • u/YaraCarrington • 15h ago

me_irl

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41.6k Upvotes

95% Upvoted

92 comments sorted by

1.1k

u/Leche-Caliente 14h ago edited 12h ago

Im a full on adult but somehow I still can get away with kids deals because 99% of the time I'm already there with my parents and I look like I'm 14 and sound like I'm 12

Edit: please stop downvoting the fetish guy. I found our interaction fun

177

u/mysixthredditaccount 9h ago

I read all his successive replies (timestamp says "4 hours ago" at this moment). His scores went: -69, -60, -22, 55, 24

A weird bunch, aren't we?

44

u/Leche-Caliente 8h ago

Im not even sure why he got hit so hard to begin with.

78

u/TheSoulborgZeus 8h ago

justice for fetish guy

58

u/Existingbug-1639 9h ago

Dude I'm the fuckin opposite. I've been told I looked 21 since I was 15

14

u/maximumhippo 8h ago

Relatable. I've had a full beard since 10th grade. I don't think I've been carded in my life

7

u/Leche-Caliente 8h ago

I had a buddy who had a full face since 6th he was one of those gentle giant types

7

u/--Repetitive-- 8h ago

A full face!? Next you’re going to tell me had two legs! And two arms! And my axe! 🪓

5

u/Ziondeesnuts 7h ago

Same boat. I'm 35 now and get mistaken for 24, but also I got mistaken for 24 regularly at 10. I wish I had baby pictures around sometimes because I always assume I was like Colin Robinson or something, just my adult head on a baby's body.

It's the true secret to aging well; being born looking far older than you actually are. Sure you have to deal with the embarrassment of getting mistaken for being a teacher in 5th grade, but you'll be thankful in your 30's when everyone still thinks you're a decade younger.

30

u/Weimark 11h ago

Hey, leche caliente is also some kind of fetish

-40

u/Pozitox 13h ago

Yeah , i can guess this guys fetishes

241

u/Leche-Caliente 13h ago

Go on then. Guess

-36

u/Pozitox 13h ago

Hey , theres a whole spectrum man. But i think i am sensing some....domination going on here. Well , atleast some form of it

209

u/Leche-Caliente 13h ago

I mean i wouldn't mind a dom mommy to take care of her little girl.

18

u/Pozitox 13h ago

Yep , my degree in Fetishology strikes again. So , what degree of Mommy fetish are we talking about ?

158

u/Leche-Caliente 13h ago

Idk haven't even dipped into the dating pool yet. Gerudo warriors got a fine build to them.

182

u/Pozitox 13h ago

I see , well Mommy fetishes can go a LOT of different ways. It can be regular , or bdsm , or both. Or it can even go into more...niche stuff.

8/10 , great fetish , would recommend. Very adaptable

132

u/-Cinnay- 13h ago

Well, even I can tell you don't have a grass fetish...

105

u/Pozitox 13h ago

We dont have grass where i live dumbass , just very badly kept lawns

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1

u/GannyBoBanny 2h ago

You’re darn right they do

25

u/VeryConfusedBee 11h ago

What a well-adjusted individual! Your research will bring wonderful things to humankind.

11

u/Unusual-Item3 11h ago

Imagine wanting to have this kind of interaction…. You need some help lmao

19

u/BrokeArmHeadass 9h ago

I’m guessing that your fetish is guessing peoples fetish

41

u/Pozitox 9h ago

Well no , its my job. I am not a deviant u/BrokeArmHeadass , i am a proffesional. The difference being one is a job and the others a primal need

9

u/SwordOfBanocles 7h ago

You got a card? Forgot to get my Mom a Christmas present, least I could do is hire a fetish-guesser for her... Wait, but don't uh... read Into that too much.

1

u/janKalaki 2h ago

Brush your teeth

2.1k

u/sassyenSiren 15h ago

Not gonna lie, I'd give the kid a pass.

354

u/sameljota tbh 11h ago

Come right in, officer.

47

u/SlowThePath 8h ago

It would feel wrong not to.

22

u/SwordOfBanocles 7h ago

Nah the kid absolutely doesn't get a break, 6 year olds are 100% old enough to know how to convincingly lie on command. If they do go with the cop lie then they better at least have remembered to grab a gun from my nightstand to make it convincing. That way if they call my bluff we can at least hold up the place.

3

u/Fineous40 7h ago

When I was young I would call Bavarian ham barbarian ham and it would regularly get me a free cookie from the deli guy.

175

u/loreleiimoonn 15h ago

"freeze your under the rest"

51

u/3IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIID 11h ago

I used to work at a fast food joint where we were told not to charge cops for food. Another ostensibly unrelated rule was that we should give robbers anything they want. I used to call it the gun discount, which is what I unfortunately called it the one and only time I served a pair of state police in the drive-through when they seemed frustrated about the fact that I wouldn't accept their money.

5

u/Rinveden 8h ago

you're

3

u/puzzlemaster_of_time 9h ago

Did you just say "You have the right to be an attorney?"

116

u/Cheesefinger69 sleep tight pupper 12h ago

shoots dog

28

u/velveeta-smoothie 11h ago

Ah, let me take that meal off your bill, officer

4

u/Ziondeesnuts 7h ago

That's how I've always seen this joke before. Same wording everywhere else, but the last line is always "my six year old: shoots dog"

4

u/unknownz_123 10h ago

I think this is enough internet for me today

47

u/PetitArvine 12h ago

I read that in Ralph Wiggum‘s voice.

6

u/I_Got_Back_Pain 10h ago

I read it in Bunk's from The Wire

1

u/BeanConsumer7 10h ago

Why is it so accurate tho 💀

23

u/P0Rt1ng4Duty 11h ago

My favorite version of this is ''my six year old: shoots dog.''

8

u/Odd_Seesaw_3451 11h ago

Sounds very Ralph Wiggum.

15

u/Tentmancer 9h ago

cops eating free at a place is kinda like protection money so the inspector or something bad doesnt happen at your place.

8

u/Johannes_Keppler 6h ago

Cops eating for free is simply illegal where I'm from. It would be seen as bribery and they would be disciplined for it.

1

u/Lund- 2h ago

Most departments it’s against policy to accept “gifts” above $10, that actually also includes discounts unless it’s an online order (because its not a person giving the discount)

11

u/RoyalMinajasty 13h ago

Well he very clearly wasn’t 5

7

u/WildFemmeFatale 12h ago

No

5 year olds can say “I’m a police” too

4

u/OneAngryBear 11h ago

Kids been watching too much of the Wire

3

u/Starkiller2214 7h ago

Natural pol-eece

3

u/Nigeru_Miyamoto 6h ago

I'm a police

What is this, the Wire?

5

u/thebunkmeister 9h ago

smart kid

2

u/Afokindrugaddict 8h ago

I did same to my mom. Public transport was free for kinds under 4, and when doctor asked how old I am I said “4,5 but in bus I’m 3,5”

2

u/Memorius 2h ago

Stolen joke from Spy Family

1

u/DifficultRock9293 10h ago

This was me. I was a scrawny kid and I looked 5 years old until I was like, 9.

1

u/Valerie_Eurodyne 9h ago

He's a paid informant!

1

u/Someguywhotakesinspo 8h ago

I'd allow all adults and kids below 15 eat for free

1

u/Frost-Kun- 8h ago

Who is Under and why is he getting to eat for free?

1

u/SnooObjections6152 7h ago

MERRY SKIBIDIMAS!

1

u/Guimdal 6h ago

R/kidsarefuckingstupid

1

u/Average_Scaper 6h ago

I thought it was under 10? Or was it under 12? Read this joke so many damn times.

1

u/imperial_scum 4h ago

I was that kid 😩

1

u/MisterHyman 3h ago

Me: hehe, 4 year olds, amirite?

1

u/wra1th42 47m ago

Genuine po-lice

-6

u/NotEntirelyShure 9h ago

Why do Americans say “I’m a police” rather than I’m in the police. It sounds really weird.

11

u/Kearmo 9h ago

They don't say this. It's a joke because the kid is 6.

-1

u/NotEntirelyShure 8h ago

In the wire the police are constantly saying “I’m a police” and I remember thinking police what? Police officer, police car? Why are you not finishing that sentence? Is it a Baltimore thing?

3

u/Kearmo 8h ago

Huh.. maybe? I've literally never heard an adult say it like that.