r/holdmybeer Aug 25 '24

HMB while I drill out this lock. Watch and learn, kid.

1.7k Upvotes

211 comments sorted by

1.8k

u/Archesik Aug 25 '24

I’m surprised he still has all his fingers

630

u/Classic_Seaweed_3894 Aug 25 '24

Even if he lost a finger. How much could a new finger cost, $10?

97

u/micro_penisman Aug 25 '24

Bada boom bada bing

9

u/ChaoticMutant Aug 25 '24

I immediately thought of the Sopranos

8

u/UntestedMethod Aug 26 '24

I thought of East Side Mario's

2

u/thefinalhex Aug 30 '24

Except it was an arrested development quote.

39

u/Prof_Aganda Aug 25 '24

The doctor wants $10 but I could show you how a popsicle stick and a piece of duct tape you can get at the dollar store for $2.36 can replace your drilled finger boom badda bing.

And tomorrow be learning about a cheap alternative to safety goggles. You just cut a slit in a pair of water bottle caps, stick em in your eyes and squint like you're wearing a monocle.

Next week we'll learn about how to represent yourself for free when the local sheriff takes you in for burglarizing uhaul storage lockers. Not to give too much away, but it has to do with loopholes in maritime law.

4

u/Theveryberrybest Aug 26 '24

This is starting to sound like an Eric Andre’s bit

1

u/creativelydeceased Sep 01 '24

Lol this got me

105

u/gripmastah Aug 25 '24

Same price as a banana!

20

u/BrockN Aug 25 '24

See? Another proof that there is a God! If the bananas fits our hands perfectly, cost the same as a new hand!

17

u/ChaoticMutant Aug 25 '24

Boneless bananas?

8

u/tedflambe Aug 25 '24

We throw away a finger for every banana we take so no one finds out.

3

u/bretttwarwick Aug 26 '24

I never thought I'd miss a hand so much.

11

u/caddy_gent Aug 25 '24

Go see a Star War

8

u/BigGuyWhoKills Aug 25 '24

There's the one who got the reference.

17

u/Difficult_General167 Aug 25 '24

I am sure those grow back after a couple of six packs.

5

u/JFK3rd Aug 25 '24

I don't think this guy's name is Wasted Wilson.

2

u/Shakleford_Rusty Aug 25 '24

Best ill do is 3.50$

1

u/runswspoons Aug 26 '24

I can get you one by 12 o’clock with nail polish.

1

u/stuntobor Aug 26 '24

That's what THEY want you to pay. I can give you the finger for free. Watch and learn kid.

1

u/TheSkinnyJ Aug 26 '24

More like $60 with a $10 service fee.

The real problem is the eye replacement cost…

20

u/You_Just_Hate_Truth Aug 26 '24

I was waiting for him to either catch a finger on the bit or have the bit slip off and go right into his hand

15

u/Xiaopeng8877788 Aug 26 '24

$70 saved, down payment on his sons $300,000 eye surgery. Badaboom badabing!

39

u/IHaveNoAlibi Aug 25 '24

LockPickingLawyer could have done it in a tenth of the time, with no risk to fingers, and with the lock still functional at the end.

11

u/DJErikD Aug 26 '24

I bought a pick set to break into mine after I lost the key. Took 30 seconds and I’ve never done one before. Same lock.

2

u/Chipdip88 Aug 28 '24

Similar thing, I work as a mechanic and when I was younger we had a lady lock her keys inside the car in the gas station across the road. We had an old Slim Jim style break in kit as a "just in case tool" that nobody had used before so I grabbed it and walked over to her car. Turns out the car was the exact same as mine and even though I had never used this tool before it only took me about 15 seconds to unlock her door. It didn't really make me feel like my car was all that secure when it only took me, someone who has never used the tool, only 15 seconds to get in.

1

u/thiscantbeitagain Aug 26 '24

He could’ve just gone the other route and used the lock to pick the lock….

9

u/ecksdeeeXD Aug 26 '24

I skipped to the very end, expecting to see a bloody mess

4

u/Luciferbelle Aug 26 '24

Yeah, I was waiting for it to get his finger.

1

u/alilbleedingisnormal Aug 26 '24

That's what I thought was going to happen and what I thought actually happened.

1

u/vampyire Aug 26 '24

that's what I was thinking

1

u/-SayAnything- Aug 26 '24

I watched that while squinting, getting ready for the finger trauma.

1

u/Dry-Salary2347 Aug 30 '24

He looks like the kind of person who has to deal w his own fuckups A LOT. And that kid probably wasn’t planned. 😆

988

u/Silphire100 Aug 25 '24

Genuinely thought he was gonna drill through his hand that first attempt

136

u/saladmunch2 Aug 25 '24

Ya he couldn't have picked a more dumb way to hold it

87

u/JohnnyRelentless Aug 25 '24

Well, he could've glued his testicles to it for extra support.

15

u/saladmunch2 Aug 25 '24

I would have been impressed honestly.

13

u/Trypt4Me Aug 25 '24

I had to pause and look what sub I was on before I continued.

Not that I wouldn't have finished watching it - I was just going to prepare the deep breath work of frustration.

19

u/silentsinner- Aug 25 '24

I was waiting for the bit to catch and the drill twist breaking his wrist.

3

u/jt_tesla Aug 25 '24

Once I saw him hold the lock, I knew where this video was going.

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400

u/repsolcola Aug 25 '24

Why is he dressed like Ace Ventura when he goes to the asylum?

75

u/silentsinner- Aug 25 '24

Meth.

43

u/TootCannon Aug 26 '24

“Now hurry up and carry this shit to the truck before the cops get here.”

16

u/puterTDI Aug 26 '24

Ya, you think that was his storage locker?

1

u/Bspkr Aug 28 '24

Right? That was my first question. If it IS his locker, how hard is it to not lose your key? And Dude, wash your shirt.

4

u/catchpen Aug 25 '24

Ace Ventura joins fight club

524

u/Mindless_Ad_6045 Aug 25 '24

"Ah fuck, there's a hot, sharp piece of metal in my eye, I think it's all good though "

219

u/tspike Aug 25 '24

Kid's even trying to help him get a better video by suggesting a redo and he just ignores him

44

u/realdeal360 Aug 25 '24

New video means buying a new lock, he can't afford that

11

u/fishee1200 Aug 25 '24

You know much it costs to charge that phone battery?! Sounds like something a dad would say

56

u/sworntostone Aug 25 '24

“Bada boom, bada bing.”

23

u/easyryders Aug 25 '24

Nah that was the cake on the cherry for me

7

u/ibemuffdivin Aug 25 '24

He’s like Michael scott

106

u/WhatTheFlippityFlop Aug 25 '24

I did this last week, cylinder lock, same soft brass key mechanism that gets drilled out but then had to use a screwdriver to make the actual mechanism turn. Took about 5 minutes, successful in the end, got caught by the onsite person, he asked me to not do it again because it’s easy to damage the cylinder opening of the door latch.

52

u/whoamiwhatamid0ing Aug 25 '24

At a lot of storage places this is considered breaking and entering even if it's your own lock. Always ask the staff for help. Also, these disc locks are a lot easier to cut with a grinder than to drill one out. Never drill out a lock that has the potential to move around!

I would say the door latch is less of a concern to me and more that if you hurt yourself on site that can be a whole kettle of fish.

Also, it makes you look really suspicious and they will probably keep an eye on you for the rest of your tenure at the facility.

26

u/jons_myth Aug 26 '24

I run a storage facility and i have a section in the lease they sign saying we are not liable for bodily injury. So, if they hurt themselves doing dumb shit like this, i would just tell them it sounds like a personal problem.

And also i do not allow them to cut their own lock because repairing latches and doors gets expensive when they damage our property. I don't charge anywhere near $70 though.

14

u/whoamiwhatamid0ing Aug 26 '24

I also run a storage facility. The fun/infuriating part about our contracts is they seem to be unenforceable if you get a judge that's sympathetic towards the customer. Makes the management company I work for scared to get sued about anything.

We only charge $25 to drill/cut a lock and I have some flexibility on that if someone is really hurting for money. $70 is definitely ridiculous.

I also have no faith in people anymore and I've had coworkers at other facilities who have had their dumb customers cut the wrong locks.

I did have one person once who was past due and locked out of their unit. They got in the gate using the code of a friend who also had a unit and drilled their lock and took what they wanted and ditched the rest.

4

u/sleepytaquito Aug 26 '24

I work at a storage facility (not one of the major corporations) and drilling your own lock is absolutely considered breaking and entering and destruction of property in my state. As in, we could and probably would press charges. We also restrict access to business hours only, and you would have to make an appointment to go to your own unit. If this incident alone doesn’t terminate your lease, we now keep such a close eye on you that any violation of the lease thereafter would result in termination.

To be fair, we only charge $30 to drill and replace the lock, and oftentimes we waive the fee if we know life’s kicking your ass lately.

But like, don’t do this guys. You never know if the people behind the desk are hard asses who will press charges, or at least make your life more difficult.

1

u/icyhotonmynuts Sep 19 '24

Ex storage place lacky here...that's bullshit about damaging the door latch.  

 Several years of it, and drilling through sometimes dozens of locks a month, it's never damaged the door latch. It's more likely the customer fucks the door pulling it hard up and down each time and then forcing the latch on a misaligned door.

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121

u/Cattywampus2020 Aug 25 '24

Hospital visit to remove metal from kids eye > $70

66

u/cat-from-venus Aug 25 '24

that kid is definitely not going to get to go to the hospital

19

u/573IAN Aug 25 '24

Dad is taking that shit out with tweezers in the next video.

16

u/johnboy2978 Aug 26 '24

"$5k for an ER bill to get a metal shaving outta my kids eye?? Fuck that. I'm gonna show you to do it with a standard shop vac you've probably got laying around, small funnel and some duct tape ... $7.95"

2

u/ChiefInternetSurfer Aug 26 '24

Oh god. The mention of vacuums around an eyeball made me cringe.

1

u/Bspkr Aug 28 '24

Tweezers- $1.25 at the dollar store.

14

u/Greengiant304 Aug 25 '24

Dad definitely just used a giant magnet to get the metal sliver out of the kids eye.

3

u/mjolle Aug 25 '24

I got a small metal shaving in my eye once. Was not fun to remove at all. Not painful but stressful.

76

u/dssstrkl Aug 25 '24

Ballistic eye protection is also cheap…

41

u/A_TalkingWalnut Aug 25 '24

Not cheaper than squintin’

7

u/dssstrkl Aug 25 '24

Cheaper than getting that metal shaving extracted

14

u/A_TalkingWalnut Aug 25 '24

“I got three more kids, and two on the way, and they already have three kids. By my math, that’s at least 11 more good eyes.”

2

u/_mully_ Aug 25 '24

He has glasses on top of his head (albeit I don’t think they’re safety glasses).

1

u/Dry-Salary2347 Aug 30 '24

He also had sunglasses on top of his head. Tint wouldn’t be perfect but hey.

25

u/Super_Sat4n Aug 25 '24

Bada boom bada bing had me rolling. :D

16

u/Backdrop2 Aug 25 '24

Keeps shades on head

11

u/MercULeez Aug 25 '24

Angle grinder takes like 10sec..

11

u/BigMembership2315 Aug 26 '24

I was expecting him to drill into his hand

3

u/TheMiddleAgedDude Aug 26 '24

Same.

Still conflicted on if I'm disappointed or not.

22

u/ShotNixon Aug 25 '24

Dude didn’t even use his safety squints

6

u/Xryanlegobob Aug 26 '24

For real was waiting for the camera to pan back to a hand with a drill bit all the way through it

29

u/UltimatePrimate Aug 25 '24

The movie Idiocracy used to be comedy. These days it feels more like prophecy.

8

u/cat-from-venus Aug 25 '24

i know people dumber than every single character on that movie. They actually listened to the smartest person on the planet, IRL we just worship the richest idiots.

5

u/Cattywampus2020 Aug 25 '24

The next video is a similar format with the guy explaining how you can save thousands of dollars on an ER visit using a magnet to remove metal from an eye. (WARNING - do not do this youself. If they have iron they can get magnetized during the process that made them. The magnet might push them further in instead of pulling them out)

5

u/mermicide Aug 26 '24

This dude has a $200 drill with almost no wear on it… bet he’s the type that buys shit just to have it lol

7

u/greenmonkeyglove Aug 26 '24

I don't know if he bought that drill

4

u/K_R_Omen Aug 26 '24

I put my money on fingers. Damn eye snuck in...

4

u/NedKellysRevenge Aug 27 '24

I thought for sure that was going through his hand.

9

u/Rasalom Aug 25 '24

Now he can get to the normal clothes he left in the storage unit!

8

u/harrymcsonson Aug 25 '24

Gary Oldman’s let himself go a bit

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4

u/Altruistic-Cut9795 Aug 25 '24

Buy a $5 pair of pliers from Walmart or Harbor Freight so you don't jeopardize your fingers ?

Just saying.

2

u/Bspkr Aug 28 '24

That's $5 more than he already spent.

5

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '24

This is simply the greatest video short I have ever seen.

"OW, FUCK, OW, I GOT IT IN MY EYE"

15

u/SpellingJenius Aug 25 '24

That’s amazing - he’s lived long enough to procreate.

3

u/wabbott82 Aug 25 '24

Damn this guy is a special one

3

u/timberwolf0122 Aug 25 '24

I really thought that was going to end with a drill through his hand or nearly loosing an eye from a broken drill bit

3

u/kashuntr188 Aug 26 '24

Spend another $5 and get a wrench or something to hold the lock with. Don't use your hands. Wtf

3

u/ChewyTender81 Aug 26 '24

How about trying and getting out of living this way so you don't need to do do shit like this. 🤦

3

u/2278AD Aug 26 '24

This could be in r/unexpected. I didn’t think there was any way that lock was coming off without blood flowing

3

u/Blu_Falcon Aug 26 '24

This was about to be a video on r/HoldMyTourniquet

3

u/onehalflightspeed Aug 26 '24

He looks like he smokes cigarettes he picks up off the ground

1

u/Bspkr Aug 28 '24

There's still one puff left!!!!

3

u/JohnnyDrama21 Aug 26 '24

100% thought this would end in blood

3

u/only_eat_pepperoni Aug 26 '24

Walmart James franco

6

u/Ck_KJCC Aug 25 '24

Special person alert 🚨

11

u/WeBornToHula Aug 25 '24

Great invention called bolt cutters can get through those cheap shackles. Hell a big hammer can probably break the body of them even faster.

11

u/rapafon Aug 25 '24

Bolt cutters big enough to go through those padlocks would set him back probably close to the £70 he's trying to save, if not more.

Hammers do work well with many padlocks, although these round ones are trickier to hit, but the main issue is damaging the door as I bet the storage place would charge a fortune for damage.

So I think this guy had the right idea with drilling but I was cringing the whole time because of how he was doing it, in my head I was thinking why isn't this marked as NSFW because I'm positive I'll see a pool of blood soon, dude's lucky to have his hand intact.

5

u/Meowmixxtape Aug 25 '24

You cannot cut those with bolt cutters. I used to manage a storage facility and nope not happening

7

u/continuallylearning Aug 25 '24

Currently manage a storage facility. Bolt cutters won’t get off those disk style locks with the shackle protected by the body. An angle grinder is how I take them off.

5

u/Trixie1143 Aug 25 '24

Bada what now?

1

u/Fernxtwo Aug 26 '24

By da bing, or buy da bing, either way - Incorrect.

2

u/falloutvaultboy Aug 25 '24

Anyone with glasses tucked into their hair like that has no business with power tools

2

u/Bedanktvooralles Aug 25 '24

Safety third!

2

u/IntheOlympicMTs Aug 25 '24

I get the vibe that that is not his unit.

2

u/Bill_Nye_1955 Aug 25 '24

Before I watch: he's gonna drill his hand isn't he

1

u/Bspkr Aug 28 '24

No......unfortunately.

2

u/AdAsleep1258 Aug 25 '24

Isn’t it ba da bing ba da boom ?

2

u/LostInThoughtland Aug 26 '24

These are so easy to pick wtf

2

u/imscruffythejanitor Aug 26 '24

Super easy. I started learning to lockpick on one of those things

2

u/Andronicus_0 Aug 26 '24

Always wear your PPE, especially goggles, he's obviously just wearing the safety squints!

2

u/ronan88 Aug 26 '24

Eyepro is also like 5 bucks

2

u/Bender_2024 Aug 26 '24

Wouldn't a pair of bolt cutters be easier and safer?

2

u/Darklord_Bravo Aug 26 '24

My bolt cutters would have done that in a matter of seconds. I've lopped off more than a few padlocks with em. Agreed, much safer too.

2

u/ComprehensiveGas2187 Sep 15 '24

I’m more concern about the kids eye bro n how he didn’t care

2

u/MRJAMES86 Sep 19 '24

Get yourself a new dad, kid. This one stinks.

2

u/HatAdept7513 Sep 24 '24

The most telling part of the video is when metal flies in his son’s eye, and he doesn’t even bat his. He just keeps on drilling.

4

u/cornboy22 Aug 25 '24

Yea that drill bit is five bucks and by the way the drill with battery and charger is $300. So yea you saved 70 bucks

10

u/Mountain-Ad-460 Aug 25 '24

if you think this man paid 300 bucks for that drill and battery well......

5

u/SomethingWitty2578 Aug 26 '24

I don’t even think it’s his storage unit.

1

u/cornboy22 Aug 26 '24

Bro Milwaukee is expensive , he probably started with black and decker then worked his way up as he ripped off more and more storage units

2

u/Mountain-Ad-460 Aug 26 '24

You can be rich and dumb with nice power tools, or you can be broke and dumb with someone else's nice power tools.. and this guy don't look rich. I bet he didn't know how much the bit cost because he borrowed that too.

1

u/kale4reals Aug 25 '24

Good job Kyle

1

u/[deleted] Aug 25 '24

MORE POWER!

1

u/Joe_Peanut Aug 25 '24

I can hear The Lockpicking Lawyer rolling his eyes.

1

u/SmilinBuddha969 Aug 25 '24

Meth method mechanics.

1

u/relic1882 Aug 25 '24

There's a certain spot you can drill on a discus lock with a 3/16-in drill bit that will pop it right open. I work at U-Haul and I've done it to pop open people's stuff for auctions.

1

u/greasyEUtech Aug 25 '24

I guess this guy hasn't heard of the lock picking lawyer

1

u/JohnnyMoondog55 Aug 25 '24

Great Value Tyler Durden lookin' ass

1

u/mrnaturl1 Aug 25 '24

Camera man’s skull needs to be drilled out

1

u/Real-Guest1679 Aug 25 '24

New eyes don’t cost that much

1

u/Danny_Alloy Aug 25 '24

This was in Florida right?

1

u/nostigmatahere Aug 25 '24

Dear everyone watching this video, Please put on safety glasses on before you ever do anything even remotely sketchy like this. It’s so easy and can save you so much in the long run. I see people using weed eaters all the time with no eye or ear protection. I’ve had shit get in my eye even with glasses while weed eating. Lucky it was not a direct hit so no harm done.

1

u/CadaverBlue Aug 25 '24

He's very lucky he didn't drill through his hand. Very stupid!

1

u/BeerBellies Aug 25 '24

These are literally one of the easiest locks to pick. I did it in like 20 seconds with a pair of tweezers and a small flathead screwdriver.

1

u/shecky444 Aug 26 '24

Why does this feel like it will be evidence one day?

1

u/johnboy2978 Aug 26 '24

Jesus. I could've picked that shitty lock in about 15 seconds. Total junk.

1

u/YYCDavid Aug 26 '24

Soda pop, boy….. watch it fizz

1

u/LBS4 Aug 26 '24

Is this Sam Rockwell’s new indie thing? Thought I’d heard something….

1

u/64CarClan Aug 26 '24

Florida Man

1

u/ballistics211 Aug 26 '24

Lock picking lawyer would have that lock off in 5 seconds

1

u/MooTheGrass Aug 26 '24

wtf is this filming

1

u/tspike Aug 26 '24

I mean, it's his kid, and he shot a hot shard of metal into his eye...

1

u/Maudsalsa Aug 26 '24

Bada boom bada bing

1

u/ikoniq93 Aug 26 '24

I was waiting for this to become a /r/criticalblunder moment

1

u/Apprehensive_Cook_31 Aug 26 '24

A pair of vise grips would help… but 🤷🏿

1

u/CaptainSniggms22 Aug 26 '24

So this is what Harry Styles has been up to

1

u/ospfpacket Aug 26 '24

How to break a padlock the most difficult way possible

1

u/theboredlockpicker Aug 26 '24

What do you do when the keyway is facing the wall?

1

u/rickztoyz Aug 26 '24

See son, I saved 70 bucks, but just think it could of cost over 7 grand for a hospital visit to stitch me up.

1

u/fnkdrspok Aug 26 '24

Joe Dirt after he got married and procreated.

2

u/Rokkmachine Aug 26 '24

Life’s a garden dig it

1

u/send_them_nips Aug 26 '24

You can actually do this and it work, you just have to not be a moron.

1

u/FanchLaplanche Aug 26 '24

Dude looks like and got the vibe of that one guy in The Famous Jett Jackson.

2

u/SokkaHaikuBot Aug 26 '24

Sokka-Haiku by FanchLaplanche:

Dude looks like and got

The vibe of that one guy in

The Famous Jett Jackson.


Remember that one time Sokka accidentally used an extra syllable in that Haiku Battle in Ba Sing Se? That was a Sokka Haiku and you just made one.

1

u/Cyanidal10DeN-C Aug 26 '24

Thanks for the tip! That's real incriminating stuff 😀

1

u/coolface_21 Aug 26 '24

I mean we charge to do it so you don’t fuck up our doors 🤣

1

u/Rokkmachine Aug 26 '24

I was wondering how many people were watching him do this on camera.

1

u/brittleknight Aug 26 '24

What show is this from? It looks hilarious.

1

u/stacker55 Aug 26 '24

a set of lock picks is like 20 bucks. most pad locks are dumb easy to pick. also this video smells like sour clothes and meth

1

u/SmokeGSU Aug 26 '24

I've been wondering what Guy Pierce was doing these days.

1

u/R3D-AFA-SCUM Aug 26 '24

What is up my mans hair?

1

u/DigitalBlink Aug 26 '24

Mike D? From Green Day?

1

u/jnthn1111 Aug 26 '24

Poor kid

1

u/fidelitysyndrom Aug 27 '24

So the lesson is: wear goggles and gloves.

1

u/wheedus Aug 27 '24

Was that even your unit?

1

u/tspike Aug 27 '24

lmao, you think I’m the guy in the video?

1

u/jrandall47 Aug 27 '24

As a locksmith, this is so painful

1

u/AnxiousHand247 Aug 27 '24

U-Haul employee here! Cutting off your lock is illegal and you will get prosecuted, in most states. It is illegal for us to cut your lock, WE will get prosecuted. You must have a licensed locksmith cut the lock to avoid breaking the law. Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

EDIT: Also the drill bit he's using is way too big for me the first go

1

u/8shkay Aug 28 '24

i dont trust this person with anything

1

u/Successful_Year_5413 Aug 28 '24

I also tried something like this with shit bits and pretty much just heated up the lock and ended up burning my hand pretty bad

1

u/ShadowParty03 Aug 29 '24

Plus a over $100 drill

1

u/Actual_Squid Aug 29 '24

How much for a new eye?

1

u/lesnortonsfarm Aug 30 '24

This guy reminds me of Gary from naked and afraid

1

u/Yeeeet-illregretthis Aug 30 '24

I can lockpick these in less time 🤦🏻

1

u/Dirtynapkin_ Aug 31 '24

And he has a point.......

1

u/princess_ehon Sep 03 '24

That's a mster lock it will open with about any pointy tool. Just give it a poke or a whack.

1

u/BobZimway Sep 13 '24

Bro bro bro,  we on the wrong floor bro!

1

u/TheDixonCider420420 Oct 25 '24

Meth version of Ty Pennington

1

u/sagephoenix1139 Nov 20 '24

Damn. I wish my Locksmith dad, Locksmith brother or Locksmith son were still here so I could consult their "peanut gallery" reactions. As a former lock picker and welder, I was already stifling the ugly laugh before his "demonstration" even began... 😭🤣

1

u/JoPoxx Aug 25 '24

Would have been easier with an angle grinder or bolt cutters

2

u/Meowmixxtape Aug 25 '24

You cannot cut those off with bolt cutters. I used to manage a storage facility.

1

u/fakeplasticdroid Aug 26 '24

What's he gonna do with the $70 he saved?

1

u/[deleted] Aug 26 '24

Meth, though. Am I right?