I'm sure people here are familiar with this idea. Eating the frog = completing what you want to complete right after you wake up.

As somebody who's experienced being unemployed, I noticed how true this idea is. For weeks and months on end I convinced myself that I can be productive whenever I want to and that just a little bit of distraction in the morning is fine and then I can get to work (like writing an application, working on my cv or going to the gym. I failed every single time. Usually, I ended up watching youtube videos on end or something similar.

Meditation (before doing anything at all with maybe the exception of washing/showering) + task seems to be the magic spell that gets it done.

I do wonder if you can guys experienced something similar.

Mine is "this too shall pass." Not original but it works when I'm doing something hard.

What Tiny habits improved/changed your life without spending a lot? Mine are going to bed early, taking probiotics and vitamin D K, and listening to good podcasts.

Edit: Thanks for so many upvotes!! I'm stoked. And the number of shares are twice the number of upvotes, lol. I've been doing a lot of the habits some of the people mentioned here and am looking forward to try out the ones I haven't and see if those fit me or not. And if you have time go through the entire thread for some inspiration 🤍🍁

I understand this is a large problem that a lot of people deal with. Theres other subreddits dedicated to dealing with porn consumption and regulation. Can we not flood this one with porn related questions that have probably been answered already? Sexual discipline is not the only aspect thats important. Do any of you all feel similar or is my feed just fucking with me?

Edit: i dont have a problem with the topic. I just wish those with this problem would participate in the discussions others have already started before asking the exact same thing. Its not a new problem and making a new post, with nothing unique about their situation, asking for responses just floods the subreddit

So, a lot has been going on lately in my life, and one of them is getting a new job as an international student, not to mention the research position at my university AND my regular classes AND gym AND Guitar practice. Balancing these things has become so cumbersome that some days I just want to be left alone without talking to anyone. But something miraculous happened when I started waking up at 5:30 in the morning.

At the start, it was really difficult and made me miserable. I snoozed my alarm a lot of times, which resulted in me missing my buses and trains, which had a chain reaction of me getting late for work and having some issues with my job.

Recently, I went to the bookstore and laid my eyes on the book Morning Miracle, which said that the author changed his life after getting up just half an hour earlier than usual, so copying his method, I did the same.

I got up at 5:30 sharp, and followed the following schedule:

1. 5 minutes of journaling
2. 5 minutes of drinking water, in peace
3. 5 minutes of meditation
4. 5 minutes of push-ups
5. 5 minutes of looking at vision board

I found that after following these basic habits for 21 days straight, I got my performance in my job to a new f**g level—not exaggerating. When I walk down the aisle, I feel as if I have taken compound V. I can feel the air hitting my face differently, and I am more focused and have the mental stamina to go through my day and still have energy for myself, I tried to rationalize this by stating that this is the placebo effect, but no, things have been *ACTUALLY* different for me.

Starting your day in the solitude best assed in the morning will help you retain the focus you need to optimize your daily tasks

A special mention I would like to give to mindfulness practice: I used to get overwhelmed easily, and my mind would do a mental throw-up after my job. I eventually had no time left for people who actually mattered to me, and my relationships would suffer. I have observed that:

After meditating, I can take tasks one by one, instead of juggling between several ones, which significantly drains out your mental capacity. My focus remains on the thing I am currently doing and the rest fades away

The first thing you should be doing in the morning is controlling your cortisol, the fear hormone, which is a significant contributor to mental fatigue- To control this, do the following:

Reflect on your present blessings — every man has many- State down 3 things you are grateful for and practice solitude

After you’re done with this, embrace the elephant in the room and write down the most important task you want to finish, followed by others in descending order of importance, This will help you finish the tasks which contribute to 80% of the outcome while minimizing low-priority and fulfilling tasks which could have been finished with a little mental capacity and focus

Finally, give some time to outline and work on things that can help you increase your current knowledge related to your work or life, because hey, no one is a loser when they continuously improve themselves and learn a thing or two every day. Besides, if you do get a professional online certification, there will be a sweet promotion waiting for you at the end of the current year!

Aim to sleep till 10 p.m so that you can start your day at 5 or 5:30, This practice will help you take advantage of the solitude and tranquility of mornings to optimize your body, soul and mind

I notice a lot of posts asking advice to start new habits or drop compulsive behaviors, and they all seem to be coming from people in distress.

Although I really sympathize with the situation and would love to give comfort during such hard times, starting new habits requires a structure to do so.

The biggest reason relies on a neurological principle: Executive Function (EF).

Executive Functions works by moderating neural activity and specially emotional reactivity. They are acquired abilities during childhood, which means it's actually a congnitive effort to modulate behavior and fit into social standards.

EFs is how we are able to face problems and decompose in smaller items, how to stop or moderate harmful behaviors, how to think in long-term, how to not overreact and keep our shit together.

Stressors in our life will decrease executive functioning, and so genetic conditions.

And guess what is discipline, or the act to convince ourselves to do something without motivation? That's right. A TON of EFs.

So, before reaching to any miraculous method or tool, it's important to assess how stressors are affecting our lives in the first place, because pretty much they are the reasons you don't feel like being able to do things without motivation.

Going to the gym for example is a quite easy task, but if you suffer from low self esteem and social phobias, it will require a lot more from your EFs to overcome unregulated emotions and task initiation.

Working on different projects will require an immense pressure over EFs as it essentially will use all of them. So if you are a gym rat, it doesn't mean you will also be able to write a novel while developing an app in +8h per day. Without proper stress management, it's perfectly possible to be disciplined in some subjects and undisciplined in others.

Not to mention other conditions which will certainly affect EFs, such as ADHD, ASD and OCD.

Not being disciplined is not the end of the world, and you shouldn't feel ashamed nor feel like a failing for not being able to do a few things. Sometimes is just the way our body and mind is asking for help.

Removal of stressors, and most importantly, being gentle to yourself and accept processes with proper time will make the control much easier, and sometimes there are things that simply won't work as we expect, and that's ok.

To get disciplined, structure is required, and they are unique to each individual. This is not done by inflicting pain, but by understanding and strategy.

I guess everything requires sacrifices and life is all about trade offs. I have very less time left to enjoy things, socialise or travel.

Anyone else with this mindset? What are your sub goals to reach or do something big?

Your time is important and I would never waste it with false promises. I’m not here for attention or to sell you anything. There is no catch. I want to help people.

Just take a minute or two to read to the end, even if you just want to watch me fail. (I won’t.😉)

We need a different world and you are going to be part of making that happen. If you’re in this subreddit, you clearly have what it takes.

It’s simple but not easy. It comes down to showing up genuinely always, every time, everywhere. You have to take this 100% seriously and never ever fail, or it won’t work. It’s not impossible, because I’ve done it.

1. Decide today to never accept anything less than what you want. And set your standards HIGH. Even if you think they’re impossible. They’re not.

2. From now on, you do not question your feelings. You do not find reasons that explain others’ behavior. You focus only on what you feel and what you want. “This sounds selfish.” It’s not. Keep reading.

3. Accept YOU have power over your life, no other human. Your life is your responsibility (note I did not say “fault”). You do not put up with any situation, environment, or person that does not meet your standards.

4. Accept these things are true for every other person. That is: you cannot control anyone, and that THEY are able to control themselves.

In two days, I trained my dogs to have as much discipline as police K9s I’m editing this because I wasn’t clear about what I meant here. My dogs knew commands but didn’t always listen. Now they listen immediately the first time, every time. They did not learn all basic commands in 2 days, nor do they sniff for bombs or tackle criminals. I just meant they have discipline. My apologies for the confusion.

I changed my work environment. I get things done and no longer feel guilty when I’m resting. My dating life is going well. I’m connecting with people everywhere I go. People give me stuff for free and opportunities present themselves everywhere. It’s not because I’m special. I’m pretty, which helps, but I have never been treated this well in my life.

If you think you can’t do this because you have limitations, I would never presume to know your situation better than you do. But I also have limitations that I didn’t realize I had power over. I have chronic pain and health issues. I have ADHD. I had PTSD. This works.

Here’s where I earn your trust and prove to you I’m right.

I want you to comment below why you think this strategy couldn’t work for you. I will respond explaining why it can.

BUT. There is a requirement you must meet for me to reply. Your comment must not contain even a hint of any disrespect for me, any other person, or yourself. If it does, I will not reply and you will not get a second chance (though I will accept an apology and you can learn from everyone else’s comments).

To join this conversation, it is also your responsibility to reply to disrespectful comments. And you need to use exactly these words: “No disrespect allowed here.” I will explain why later, but for now invest this minimal effort in our experiment.

Or you can ignore this post. I don’t care. I’m here because I want to help people, so if this gets ignored, I’ve lost nothing and will keep this secret to myself.

You’re about to learn just how much power you truly have. Ready to change your life? Comment now.

I’m going to limit my responses to 20 comment threads. I may do more if I have time, but I will reply to at least 20 individuals.

PS: I will not be participating in up/downvotes because my opinion about your comments is irrelevant.

ETA 7/20/24: I took my ADHD meds so y’all get more concise responses today. 🤣

I know we all joke around about the term brain rot but we should probably start taking it more seriously.

Our mindless scrolling, dopamine savoring, quick-hit content consumption is actually deteriorating our brain.

It’s giving us digital dementia. 

The concept of "digital dementia" proposes that our heavy reliance on the internet and digital devices might harm cognitive health, leading to shorter attention spans, memory decline, and potentially even quickening the onset of dementia.

A major 2023 study examined the link between screen-based activities and dementia risk in a group of over 462,000 participants, looking specifically at both computer use and TV watching.

The findings revealed that spending more than four hours a day on screens was associated with a higher risk of vascular dementia, Alzheimer’s, and other forms of dementia. Additionally, the study linked higher daily screen time to physical changes in specific brain regions.

And listen, I normally hate when people reference studies to prove a point because you can find a study to back up whatever opinion you have, but this is pretty damning.

And unfortunately, it makes complete sense. Smartphones primarily engage the brain's left hemisphere, leaving the right hemisphere—responsible for deep focus and concentration—unstimulated, which can weaken it over time.

This also extends to how we handle memory. We’ve become pros at remembering where to find answers rather than storing those details ourselves.

Think about it: how often do we Google things we used to memorize?

It’s convenient, but it may also mean we’re losing a bit of our own mental storage, trading depth for speed.

The internet’s layout, full of links and bite-sized content, pushes us to skim, not study, to hop from one thing to the next without really sinking into any of it. That’s handy for quick answers but not great for truly absorbing or understanding complex ideas.

Social media, especially the enshittification of everything, is the ultimate fast food for the mind—quick, convenient, and loaded with dopamine hits, but it’s not exactly nourishing.

Even an hour per day of this might seem harmless, but when we look at the bigger picture, it’s a different story.

Just like with our physical diet, consuming junk on a regular basis can impact how we think and feel. When we’re constantly fed a stream of quick, flashy content, we start craving it. Our brains get hooked on that rush of instant gratification, and we find it harder to enjoy anything slower or deeper.

who snapped this pic of me at the gym?

It’s like training our minds to expect constant stimulation, which over time can erode our ability to focus, be patient, or enjoy complexity.

This type of content rarely requires any deep thought—it’s created to grab attention, not to inspire reflection. We become passive consumers, scrolling through a feed of people doing or saying anything they need to in order to capture our attention.

But what’s actually happening is that we’re reprogramming our brains to seek out more of this content. We get used to a diet of bite-sized entertainment, which leaves little room for slower, more meaningful experiences that require us to actually engage, to think, or even to just be.

I can go in 100 different directions on this topic (and I probably will in a later post), but for the sake of brevity, I’ll leave you with this:

Please, please, please be mindful of your content diet. Switch out short clips for longer documentaries and YouTube videos. Pick up a book once in a while. Build something with your hands. Go travel. Do something creative that stimulates your brain.

You’re doing more damage than you think.

--

p.s. - this is an excerpt from my weekly column about building healthier relationships with tech. Would love any feedback on the other posts.

Let’s talk about loneliness.

Not the kind of loneliness where you feel a little off for a day. I’m talking about the kind that creeps into your life slowly. The kind where you realize you’re seeing your friends less, spending less time with loved ones, and swapping real connection for likes, notifications, and incredibly imbalanced parasocial relationships. 

The physical health consequences of poor or insufficient connection include a 29% increased risk of heart disease, a 32% increased risk of stroke, and a 50% increased risk of developing dementia for older adults. Additionally, lacking social connection increases risk of premature death by more than 60%.

And the data from Jonathan Haidt’s, The Anxious Generation (incredible book) backs it up. 

Back in 1980s, nearly half of high school seniors were meeting up with their friends every day. These numbers held fairly constant throughout the next 20 years.

But something dramatic happened towards the end of the 2000s. 

2010 marked the moment when smartphones truly took hold. The App Store was in full swing, and social media apps like Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter were starting to explode. Suddenly, it became easier (and more addictive) to connect online than to make plans in person.

By 2020? That number dropped to just 28% for females and 31% for males. And it’s not just teens—across all age groups, the time people spend with friends has been tanking. We’re hanging out less, forming fewer close connections, and it’s starting to show.

And it’s not just teens—across all age groups, the time people spend with friends has been tanking since 2010. 

While social media usage is skyrocketing…

We’re hanging out less, forming fewer close connections, and it’s starting to show.

Meanwhile, in Blue Zones—places like Okinawa, Japan, and Sardinia, Italy—community is everything. These are the places where people live the longest and healthiest lives, and one of their key “secrets” isn’t diet or exercise. 

It’s human connection.

People in these regions spend real, meaningful time with friends, family, and neighbors. And those relationships aren’t just nice to have—they’re literally saving their lives.

Let’s contrast that with what’s happening here.

Social media promised us connection, but what it really gave us is a substitute. Instead of sitting across from a friend, we’re staring at a screen. We scroll through highlight reels instead of living our own. And while it feels like connection in the moment, it’s hollow.

And I don’t mean to fear-monger, but I can’t see a world in where this doesn’t get worse.

Not only are we spending less time with real people, but we’re starting to replace human relationships altogether.

Platforms like Character.AI are exploding in popularity, with users spending an average of 2 hours per day talking to virtual characters. 

SocialAI (which is such an ironic name because it’s the most dystopian, anti-social thing I’ve ever seen), allows you to create an entire Twitter-esque social feed where every person you interact with is a bot, there to agree with, argue against, support, love, and troll your every remark. 

Think about that: instead of grabbing coffee with a friend or calling a loved one, people are pouring hours into conversations with bots.

These AI bots are designed to ‘simulate connection’, offering companionship that feels “real” without any of the work. They don’t challenge you, they don’t misunderstand you, and they’re always available. 

And that’s the problem. Real relationships take effort. They require vulnerability, compromise, and navigating conflict. 

But when your "relationship" is powered by an algorithm, it’s tailored to give you exactly what you want—no mess, no misunderstandings, and no growth.

If the platform decides to update its system or tweak how the chatbot responds, that “relationship” changes overnight. Imagine building your emotional world around something that could vanish with a software update.

Unfortunately, it’s already had devastating consequences. Earlier this year, there was a heartbreaking story of a young man who reportedly took his own life after his interactions with Character.Ai, who he had become deeply attached to (both emotionally and romantically), spiraled. 

Truly fucked up.

So, what’s the fix?

It’s simpler than you think: prioritize connection. Call a friend. Meet up in person. Join a group, have dinner, or just go for a walk together. If you’re a parent, let your kids play without micromanaging every interaction. The small stuff—laughing over a meal, sharing a story, or just being present—adds up in ways that matter more than you realize.

And when you do, pay attention to how it feels. 

I promise — no amount of likes, comments, shares or AI chatbot connection will be able to truly replicate that. 

---

p.s. - this is an excerpt from my weekly column about building healthier relationships with tech (this full post drops tomorrow). Would love any feedback on the other posts.

So, I’ve always been a huge procrastinator — like, I’d wait until the absolute last minute to do anything, and then panic because I didn’t have enough time. Heard a ton of people talking about Atomic Habits, and honestly, I was skeptical, but I finally picked it up. And wow, it really changed the way I approach things.

The whole idea of just focusing on “getting 1% better” every day was such a game changer for me. I used to think I had to make huge changes all at once, but this book made me realize it’s all about the tiny, consistent steps.

Now, instead of putting things off, I’ve started doing little tasks right away, and it’s crazy how much easier it feels to stay on track. I’ve been way more disciplined with my time, and I don’t feel as overwhelmed anymore. Anyone else read this and see similar results?

I get my steps in, I do daily exercise, i go outdoors, I get sleep, I limit blue light after sunset, I have a job, I'm saving up money, I don't eat processed foods (and no I don't feel restricted, I genuinely don't crave them), I eat healthy 3 meals a day, I take care of my hygiene - I feel like I'm objectively doing everything right yet I don't feel anything. I don't feel happy even though I constantly remind myself how privileged I am. I'm not ungrateful but I don't feel happy either. I just feel so blah, like I'm at a standstill. What am I doing wrong and does anyone else relate????

I deactivated my Instagram almost a month ago, telling myself I wouldn’t open it again until January. But lately, I’ve been feeling a bit lonely. I haven’t been doing much outside of work, and I can’t help but notice how, when you quit social media, it almost feels like you disappear. People don’t really text much anymore, and you miss out on hearing about events or what’s happening around you.

I still have Facebook, but I rarely use it. Today, I decided to check it out and just saw the same predictable stories—selfies, people pretending to be happy, partying, and so much ego on display. It made me wonder: why would I ever want to go back to social media? What’s the real purpose of sharing so much? I can store my memories elsewhere. If the goal is to connect, then what’s the value in making those connections online when what I truly need are genuine, real-life relationships? I want someone to travel with, go hiking, ride motorcycles with—things I know I won’t find on Instagram.

If I went back, I’d just end up wasting time scrolling like a zombie. So why bother?

Even Reddit feels like a bit of a time sink sometimes, but at least here, I can vent. It feels less egocentric, more authentic. I wonder if anyone else feels this way. Am I overthinking it? Should I just go back? Social media is such a toxic place for me tho.

Edit: wasn't expecting such great response to this, thanks everyone!

For the past few years, I have continuously seen videos and articles, some even from medical professionals, recommending avoiding caffeine at all costs because it supposedly reduces sleep quality, causes anxiety, and creates tolerance and addiction. It seems to be a current trend to recommend reducing caffeine consumption to get rid of that dreaded 'brain fog' that we have all experienced at some point.

However, the number of articles that appear when you search for 'benefits of caffeine' is overwhelming. And, of course, these are also from medical professionals. The key here seems to be 'moderation.'

I drink one to two cups of coffee in the morning, no more. I have had trial periods of completely giving up caffeine, and I have indeed noticed low energy and headaches for a week, after which I return to normal. But I have not noticed any significant benefits, except for that huge ass boost when drinking coffee again. When I drink it, I am free from anxiety, and my sleep is not affected if I drink it in the morning. But I would quit it entirely if it REALLY proved to be 100% beneficial. But science does not seem to give a definitive answer, and this is frustrating. How can there be such disparate experiences? Does it all depend on the individual?

Edit: I happen to have the opposite experience most of the people on my field have. Being a musician, I always drink a little bit of extra coffee before an important concert/audition. It ERASES any form of anxiety and induces me in a state of focused "calmness", while others experience uncontrollable shakes. I have naturally low blood pressure.

Bonus points if you tried more than once.

We’ve all been there before: spending hours upon hours doom scrolling like a zombie, then thinking “that’s it! I’m done! I’m getting a flip phone!”

Please don’t. Trust me I’ve tried.

5 reasons: group chats? good luck with that. taking a decent picture? don’t even bother. reliable Maps? nope. mobile banking? impossible. and good luck with 2 factor auth. i could think of 20 more.

The most a flip phone will do is make you feel hopeless and unfixable when you inevitably “fail” at sticking to it.

My advice: don’t force anything. Instead, focus on making your existing phone less addicting. You’ll start to notice your brain rewiring itself in a really healthy, sustainable way.

• Put your phone in your backpack, not your pocket. You’ll still hear your calls, texts, whatever, but by not having it one reach away, you’ll often times catch yourself thinking twice as to whether you really want to break your focus right now. It’s pretty great.
• Make social media available, but not easily accessible. Whether we like it or not, social media is an important part of culture, communication, and staying up to date. So keep your apps, but just focus on being mindful about how and when you open it. I currently block all social media (including Reddit lol), and the only way I can unlock them is if I chat with an AI first about why and for how long. You should also make sure to clean up your home screen. Just find a good balance for you.
• Greyscale. There’s something incredibly eye opening about seeing your grey, boring phone and then noticing the beautiful colors of the world around you. Tip: set up a short cut that turns greyscale off when you Facetime or take pics, to reduce frustration. You can do it in Apple Control Center now.

There’s so many tips I could also include, but the most important thing is to acknowledge that in this age of technology, it’s okay to have a smartphone. You aren’t a failure because you can’t stick to a flip phone for the rest of your life. But you should be disciplined in how you use your smartphone, because it has a ripple effect into all other parts of your health and productivity.

For example: exercising 30 mins, waking up early, quitting videogames, planning what to do on the day before, etc. etc.

For example, I'm going to list the obvious, uninterrupted sleep with earplugs and blackout curtains, sleeping in a cool room, eating a rainbow of fruits and vegetables

Here are mine.

1. Be mindful of my diet. Cut out any sugar, carbs, fat as much as possible. I’m 29M so I figure now’s the time to start watching my weight and diet, although I am healthy.

2. Go back to counseling. It’s not for everyone, but in my case life was a lot better when I was seeing a therapist. I recommend it to anyone who’s on the fence about it.

Now I myself rarely play games ( at least I dont play any singleplayer games), and I realize is that spending time playing games is not bad, it won’t hinder your success like porn or social media does, but if you spend too much time it will be bad for you. I myself play rarely with my friends and play not daily, I believe it depends on the time and how much you do so, just like any other activity such as writing, coding, excercising. Too much of anything leaves pain and brainfog

I was watching a video in which a image of hundreds of people in a airport were walking around. I realized that each person has their own life story, and in each one they are the main character in their own life. This lowkey made me a little emotional, just knowing that I am just a small speck in a world of people.

What are some small things that you have incorporated into your routine/habits that improve your life and help you stay disciplined? It could be the smallest thing for example: not using your phone first thing in the morning, keeping a journal, keeping your desk clean, etc.

I don’t understand why people care so much about discipline. I don’t care if I’m poor, ugly, fat, or even if I die tomorrow. Nothing matters to me anymore. Every day feels the same, and I don’t see the point in trying to do anything with myself. Life just feels lonely and miserable, and I’m tired of hearing about how I need to fix myself. I have no friends,no social life,no passion or goal,i don`t care about my future nor about my family,everyone who onced cared about me has moved on and feel disdain towards me.I I just don`t know what to do.I see no good reason why i should be disciplined with my life and do something.Can anyone help me with this?

The one thing that you know will make you feel way better than anything else.

Mine is to read for 4 hours each morning, for 365 days straight.

EDIT 1: Some people have inquired how it's possible to dedicate 4 hours to reading. In my specific situation, a few factors make it seem achievable:

a. My workplace is less than a mile from where I live.
b. I'm an early bird and have been consistently waking up at 6 a.m. on most days. I just need to adjust my schedule by waking up an hour earlier.
c. Most importantly, my team starts work later than usual, around 11 a.m. (and we go on until about 9 p.m.).
d. Finally, as I mentioned, this is my moonshot. Even with these favorable conditions, I’m not entirely sure I’ll be able to stay disciplined enough to stick to it. However, if I succeed, it would give me immense peace, satisfaction, and a sense of personal growth.