r/getdisciplined 28d ago

šŸ’¬ Discussion How lonely did you feel after quitting IG?

I deactivated my Instagram almost a month ago, telling myself I wouldnā€™t open it again until January. But lately, Iā€™ve been feeling a bit lonely. I havenā€™t been doing much outside of work, and I canā€™t help but notice how, when you quit social media, it almost feels like you disappear. People donā€™t really text much anymore, and you miss out on hearing about events or whatā€™s happening around you.

I still have Facebook, but I rarely use it. Today, I decided to check it out and just saw the same predictable storiesā€”selfies, people pretending to be happy, partying, and so much ego on display. It made me wonder: why would I ever want to go back to social media? Whatā€™s the real purpose of sharing so much? I can store my memories elsewhere. If the goal is to connect, then whatā€™s the value in making those connections online when what I truly need are genuine, real-life relationships? I want someone to travel with, go hiking, ride motorcycles withā€”things I know I wonā€™t find on Instagram.

If I went back, Iā€™d just end up wasting time scrolling like a zombie. So why bother?

Even Reddit feels like a bit of a time sink sometimes, but at least here, I can vent. It feels less egocentric, more authentic. I wonder if anyone else feels this way. Am I overthinking it? Should I just go back? Social media is such a toxic place for me tho.

Edit: wasn't expecting such great response to this, thanks everyone!

364 Upvotes

98 comments sorted by

320

u/Firepath357 28d ago

You don't disappear when you quit social media, it was just giving you the illusion of existing.

Existence is about the real world. Focus on developing your reality. Social media is an attention sink for the platforms to make money through advertising to eyes on the screen.

30

u/fixatedeye 28d ago

Damn Iā€™m gonna write this on a piece of paper and put it above my mirror so I remember

7

u/CrazyGal2121 28d ago

so well said. need to copy and paste this and frame it

2

u/magdalen-alpinism 27d ago

absolutely right. It creates these false images in ourselves

2

u/Ok-Professor-2265 27d ago

āœ’ļøšŸ”„

91

u/tropicanv 28d ago

dont go back, if your friends have your number and actually care, theyā€™ll find any way to communicate not just over social media.

23

u/[deleted] 28d ago

Absolutely, people think sending IG reels is a friendship. Itā€™s not if itā€™s the only communication method. When I deleted my social media account, some of my ā€œfriendsā€ stopped talking to me. Our only conversation material was the stupid 10 second horizontal videos. And with some of my friends, we meet every week or few weeks and actually texted each other. And sometimes send each other funny videos. IG must be a friendship extension, not itself. (Sorry if there is a grammar error, please correct me.)

4

u/vocabularious-me 27d ago

(And conversely itā€™s good to reach out via text too!)

1

u/[deleted] 28d ago

[removed] ā€” view removed comment

6

u/MooMooMai 28d ago

Here, I'll help. If your friends and yourself have exchanged numbers, be sure to reach out to them on a regular basis, if you'd like to continue watering those relationships. It takes both parties, don't always only rely on them reaching out. If you feel like you're bothering them, cut that shit out. They are your friends and that's what they're for.

If they don't end up reciprocating, I'm sorry that you need new friends. You may find new ones as local community gatherings or classes. Something that interests you. Even if they are just the same people you see at those events and not necessarily in other settings. Those are friends too. šŸ§”

136

u/npc_abc 28d ago edited 28d ago

Not lonely at all. I love not knowing what my friends are doing, or anyone for that matter.

Itā€™s hard to quit this depressing cesspool of an app though, especially when every google search ends with ā€œā€¦Reddit.ā€ Actual people answering most of lifeā€™s questions is better than Becky whatā€™s-her-nameā€™s 2014 esquire article.

49

u/Ohtrueeeee 28d ago

Itā€™s literally the exact opposite correlationā€¦ itā€™s liberating as fucking shit. No more fake ass lives to watch, no more inauthentic personalities, no more toxic ass positivity, no more filtered ass bitches who youā€™d never see irl, the list seriously goes onā€¦

8

u/[deleted] 28d ago

What real freedom feels like:

22

u/BeenBadFeelingGood 28d ago

build a social networkā€¦ irl. say hi to people. comment about life stuff to them. real life is the og social media

22

u/shoegameshawty 28d ago

Felt weird for a few days but now Iā€™m 7 months in and hardly think about it at all. A few days after quitting I kept moving my finger to where the app was and trying to click- it was like muscle memory.

I think itā€™s understandable to be curious about instagram around the holidays if youā€™re feeling lonely. Like you want to see what other people are up to.

I felt the disappearing thing at first tooā€¦ but as time goes by you realize you didnā€™t disappear at all you are just disengaging with an app. Your life is still going on just as it was and thereā€™s not an extra element of distraction or something to compare yourself to.

It definitely takes some adjusting to but what happened to me is more friends actually started reaching out even more often than they used to! People will text me pictures or text me memes instead of just mindlessly sending on IG.

A month is still so fresh so your brain is probably still addicted to it. If you really feel an urge then try logging in and youā€™ll probably realize wow Iā€™m not missing a whole lot. Instagram is designed to addict us and I think itā€™s healthy you decided to take a step back! More and more people are starting to do it and with time youā€™ll start to notice the positive benefits :)

21

u/Spiritual-Job-2562 28d ago edited 27d ago

I deleted IG when I was 20 years old after using it almost everyday since the age of 14. I felt ā€œlonelyā€ for about a year, it was quite rough. Had to understand that I was a deeply egotistical, shallow, and seeking external validation. But now looking back it was the best decision Iā€™ve ever made.

13

u/Any_Animator_880 28d ago

I left ig last year and have never looked back. I don't want to know what people are curating.

13

u/browniedusd 28d ago

Social media is such a fake version of socializing. I deleted mine 6 months ago, I barely even noticed. IG especially feels like some simulation where everyoneā€™s rich, good-looking, and living their best life, but thatā€™s not how it really is for most people.

After a while, youā€™ll naturally figure out how to socialize in real life again, and honestly, all the endless scrolling isnā€™t doing anyone any good. IG might actually be kinda okay if they just got rid of reels, lol.

11

u/[deleted] 28d ago

You determine your own destiny.

9

u/yours_anonymously 28d ago

I havenā€™t used IG since February this year. I wasted a lot of time doomscrolling and felt guilty. Instead I set up my Pinterest properly making boards on things I am interested in (writing prompts, recipes, workout vids, calligraphy inspiration, budgeting tips) and now I open Pinterest more than IG. It offers me recommendations and I get more excited to do new things. I send people pictures or messages on WhatsApp or iMessage. We still keep in touch and meet and laugh and click pics. I just donā€™t feel compelled to put it on IG just to prove to others Iā€™m alive.

TLDR - Pinterest is a great way to quit IG.

8

u/TresGatosNoir 28d ago

I recently deleted Facebook and IG from my phone, and only recently got into Reddit. I am so much happier these days! I donā€™t even go on my laptop and check social media much anymore. I think there is a sense of loss/loneliness, like withdrawal. I find myself getting bored, then curious and creative more now, with a lot less self censoring.

8

u/Mickeynewkirk 28d ago

Community helps a lot. I enjoy yoga classes, volunteering or church if Iā€™m having those sad disconnected feelings.

5

u/StrategyNo5798 28d ago

I deactivated instagram, Facebook, and tiktok 11 days ago. My friend group mainly used instagram to communicate plans, feelings, and share memes. So, I feel really isolated & disconnected. I spent a lot of time on TikTok. As of today I feel disconnected from the larger society, I guess. I hardly used facebook so I donā€™t feel left out. However, I am a little sad that I canā€™t see new events, DIY shows, and themed nights at my local venues and bars (this was mainly shared through Instagram posts/Stories). One venue I frequent has an email list. All of the venuesā€™ websites suck at staying up to date. Iā€™m also sad that I canā€™t see any of my favorite artistsā€™ tour plans/ announcements should they have them. All that being said I do feel less stressed, overwhelmed, and a significant decrease in anxiety. Also, I have sooooo much more free time. Iā€™ll find a way to figure out the rest when it comes to shows & concerts. Iā€™m glad I havenā€™t reactivated any of my accounts yet. I want to focus on myself long term, mostly distraction free.

1

u/chibling88 27d ago

Do you use Spotify? They often send out show lists events if you follow an artist or you can see their upcoming shows there!

I really do value Spotify for streaming and downloading my music. I havenā€™t tried anything other than Apple Music since these types of services came out but Iā€™ve had no desire to seek anything else out yet!

1

u/StrategyNo5798 27d ago

I use Apple Music. Iā€™m thinking of having my siblings keep track of artists for me. But I may have to get Spotify if that doesnā€™t work out. Thanks for the tip!

1

u/chibling88 27d ago

I actually used to pay for both when they first became popular to see which I preferred and chose Spotify over Apple Music for a variety of reasons (better playlists, more user friendly interface for eg.) but that was like a decade ago so it has likely improved a lot since then! Haha Spotify is great šŸ‘šŸ» good luck!

1

u/julieyesca 25d ago

You can sign up for bandsintown and it will send you emails of bands you like playing in your area :)

5

u/Docme151 28d ago

I feel ya, I'm on and off on instagram and sometimes I wanna go back but really I just remeber time spent watching trash reels which I can do on literally any platfom. Atleast on youtube you get some funny brainrot videos related to whatever you like, no filtered bitches, people pretending to be happy and that insanely toxic shit, just plain brain rot memes which I like to peek at from time to time.

I thought I missed posting story and sharing my experiences with others but I remeber that would end up in me constantly checking who saw my story, fuck that man. Remeber all these people when you see them IRL you will have to share those stories/moments by telling an actual story, many people just don't do that anymore.

You will feel lonely for a while, but that is just your brain making up excuses to go back to it, don't. You are free, you just don't know what to do with all this freedom, you will figure it out eventually and start to enjoy your life even more.

And fuck FOMO, you ain't missing shit. Most of that stuff is just 1 moment of entire experience, filtered, edited and that person is probably spending time checking who saw that story, missing out on half of experience. You answered your own question, I realised most of the time when I went to travel or go somewhere I was like "I gotta post story about it" that would get bunch of likes and what I am gonna do with those likes/replies, it's just quick dopamine hit?

And to meet genuine people, you will have to be genuine and when you do meet then, you will realise how shallow and bothersome are fake friends/people.

4

u/[deleted] 28d ago

I've never had an IG account. Also I use only messenger. I check facebook weekly 1-2 times to check for some interesting event I may participate on. I don't have twitter/X either.
You may call it: I don't exist (or that I am boomer... but I am 35-M). But I have 2-3 friend whom with I meet regularly in person, or at least we have a 2-3 hour long phone talk a week. Not much, I know. But it is much better to read an interesting book, or go for a movie alone, than to being "ashamed-for-being-boring" according to the ego-maniac nature of the IG/X/FB feeds. My life is my own. It is my judgment about it what truly matters.
Currently I am working on to cut down youtube to a minimal.... I consumed way too much political content lately... for what? Just to annoy myself... Even reddit seems to me as a collective-circle-jerking...

3

u/chibling88 27d ago

Haha a lot of the internet these days is collective circle jerking, totally agree with you that Reddit can be this way. I think everything in moderation is key.

4

u/SubtletyIsForCowards 28d ago

Yeah. Part of my deleting was because I felt my friendships were becoming hollow and pointless. ā€œYeah, I talk to Fred all the time.ā€ Really we send reels back and forth with 2 of 4 words of dialogue every 15 reels or so. So, as a part of my detox I started texting and calling people more. Sometimes it works, but not always.

Anyway, good luck.

4

u/VividMemoryAVP 27d ago

I am a strong believer social media destroys life and meaningful relationships. It actually gets better after you quit.

3

u/Organic_Case_7197 28d ago edited 28d ago

When I was on insta often I actually felt more lonely. Proportionally I was ā€œinteractingā€ with more people than after deleting but feeling guilty and isolated knowing that I wasnā€™t truly connecting. Like watching a movie, transfixed to the point that the characters have more real, rich lives than the actors of those characters. The opposite of reality! The better the actor the more seamless the differentiation. Taking a break has made me realize Iā€™ve been neglecting the real people in my day to day life and spending time with holograms of people that I think I know but am only really seeing .0001% of their life and day. My muscle memory of how to connect has weakened and there is a distilled lonely feeling that I sense because of that. But I have hope that more time off screen is the best medicine to curb this modern day techno-melancholy.

3

u/Smol_Claw 28d ago

I didn't feel too lonely about it, everyone who I cared about had my contact elsewhere if they ever needed to contact me. It does seem like people prefer Instagram as a form of communication though, so people text me less. I really don't mind though, I get to spend more time working on myself and not mindlessly scrolling reels or whatever new thing they've added, and get informed of events anyways :D

3

u/mali-kamen 28d ago edited 28d ago

I quit IG december last year because i felt extra lonely seeing all the shiny happy people displaying their highlights like the shops display their merchandise for Christmas. But what are the people on Insta selling and to whom? I realized that insta was a distraction from real life, distraction from the messiness of unresolved internal issues, anxietyā€™s etc . The edge softener if you like between us and the sometimes terrifying existential challenges and basically just being with one self. Ask your self who you want to be? I asked myself this question every time i felt the urge to go back. Itā€™s about the internal value system and keeping the word you give to yourself. Also about having faith that you made the right choice for the long term, that the future you will be so grateful for :).i know i am grateful to past me for doing the hard thing and sticking to it. After a year of no IG i can honestly say that i love the not knowing & even more love that no one knows what i am doing. Itā€™s a simple matter of quality vs quantity for me. Choose the real thing not the representation of it. All the best to you.

3

u/inevitable_zebraaa 27d ago

These are I think most of us experienced in the early stages of quitting and trust me it will pass very quickly. Quitting social media made me realize where I should put more focus on especially on things which are really important (especially for long term goals). One thing I did notice is now I am comfortable with silence which surrounds me and have become much more patient when I listen to people (whereas in the past, I would just be an anxious being looking for an escape).

It's nearly more than a year since I quit it but still one thing I find hard is when I go to travel and meet new people there, they would usually ask for my insta to stay connected and for them I just login one day and accept their requests and log out again. I think I have yet to find a means to communicate without making the other people feel too committed to talk casually (like exchanging phone numbers would be too much for them maybe).

Lately I am focusing more on creating, consuming good films, spending quality time with friends (and sometimes watching reels on their phone with them just to see what is going on lol it really is much more fun and better when I watch with someone) and families, reading, writing and exercising. And now these things take up most of my time and I don't think I am willing to give it back to social media just to doom scroll and consume content that I won't even remember that much.

Another thing which I found helpful was not using any filters to change my face just to look more pretty. This honestly made me feel much more comfortable with my body and added a little bit more confidence with how I see myself now.

I would say quitting social media has definitely not been that much of a miracle for me but it really made all the unnecessary voices in my head disappear altogether. It is much more peaceful now and maybe better.

3

u/So_Icey_Mane 27d ago

Never had an IG, but just decided to stop messing with FB many years back and never looked back.

It's mostly pretentious bullshit on there. You know how many people I know that didn't show up to their 'good friends or bff's' wake/funeral? Actually contacting them on their bday on the phone and or in person? I'm almost 40, and can count on 2 hands now, to how many funerals I've been to and all the people who said they were so close and they were like a brother/sister never bothered to show up or even send condolences outside of 'RIP' on social media.

Someone said this many years ago to me. It's very simple, but people tend not to think about it. People only post the 'good times' on social media, never the bad. You will never see the true story behind all of those pictures. Everyone has issues in their life, some people are just way better at putting on a different show to their audience.

Concentrate on the people around you who will give you the time of day. If they won't find time to hang out, chat, whatever.... They never actually gave a shit in the first place and they aren't worth your time.

2

u/AgreeableHyena8850 28d ago

Oh, so much less. It's not like the parasocial connections that I had on IG were going to socially fulfill me anyways.

2

u/kickyourfeetup10 28d ago

Once youā€™re through the adjustment period, itā€™s an incredibly freeing feeling to just live life for yourself and not to share. Itā€™s also so freeing to be oblivious to what others post.

2

u/CylerPRIME 28d ago

I donā€™t feel lonely at all, to be honest. I quit Instagram because I was just doom scrolling, sharing memes, and feeling FOMO. It got exhausting, and Iā€™d open the app without even thinking. So I deleted it. Now, Iā€™m busy with myselfā€”reading, hitting the gym, doing my thing. If I feel like talking to someone, I just call a friend. Lifeā€™s simpler this way.

2

u/suspendedingaffa86 28d ago

I have been on an IG cleanse. I do think about it but I feel like most of my IG ends up being people I don't know when I'll see again or if I want to, or cool artists that I just end up comparing & despairing instead of working on my own thing. Tell friends you want to see that you're spending less time on Insta and pass them your number! People will reach out, they'll miss you. The privacy & focus & not getting addicted to performing for social media & the validation afterwards & not having an over-inflated sense of self is so worth it.

2

u/Wunderbarstool 28d ago

I just never really got into it. Iā€™m old enough to remember when Facebook was college kids only. I have a FB account for a neighborhood group and the marketplace. Iā€™ve had Twitter accounts that I just didnā€™t use much. Same thing with Instagram. No Snapchat, no TikTok. Itā€™s just not the way I connect with people.

2

u/Status-Wheel7600 28d ago

I deleted mine on Monday and I feel so liberated Granted now I spend more time on Reddit but it was holding me back in terms of socialising

2

u/omgirthquake 28d ago

You nailed it. You are no longer one of those egocentric weirdos who thinks telling the whole world what you are for breakfast makes you feel complete. Go outside. Meet your neighbors. Itā€™s so much better.

2

u/CuriousCarver 27d ago

I used to be socially active on instagram almost everyday, posting about a lot of stuff, until I deleted my instagram a year ago, it felt a bit lonely the first few months but then I got used to it, and I don't think I wanna go back playing instagram again, my life is getting way better without it, I can fully focus on the present, focus on myself instead of someone else life ( that many people fake it, to look good on their socmed), and actually after deleting my instagram, I literally filtering my friends, who's really there for me and who's not, so yeah that's a bit of sharing from my perspective

2

u/chibling88 27d ago

I feel the exact same way! Iā€™ve taken ā€œtoleranceā€ breaks from socials when Iā€™m struggling with mental health, or whenever I am trying to make big change in my life as itā€™s a huge distraction for good and bad reasons.

Iā€™ve always felt that itā€™s not genuine though; and who cares right, itā€™s just for fun? A way to connect? To show your friends what youā€™re up to? Sometimes you get a laugh, and my generation grew up on it so yeah-thatā€™s how we all keep in touch now. But it still feels - weird. Always felt this ambivalence towards it.

I deleted Instagram from my phone a month ago again and I feel so out of the loop and definitely like Iā€™ve disappeared. I tend to isolate in general when not doing well which is the worst you can do of courseā€¦but I always tell myself Iā€™ll call people, the ā€œold fashioned wayā€ā€¦yet I still struggle to get the courage to call the old friends I want to check in on. I never got into TikTok or Twitter (refuse to call it X) but a lot of my friends are obsessed with both. Not many call either, a few gems do though and Iā€™ve learned theyā€™re the ones who care the most.

Basically - I also love Reddit, and you are certainly NOT alone.

2

u/Hooliway92 27d ago

I've deleted IG for almost a year now cuz I was also feeling overwhelmed with how much BS I was scrolling through and time wasting it really was for me. After the first couple of months of feeling like I was missing out, I just totally forgot about it and don't even really think about it anymore. You kinda start realizing who you're actually friends with and who you're just IG friends with.

I recently went back on IG to see if I was ready to get back on or if I was actually missing out. However, after about 10 minutes I realized it was the same, nothing changed. Endless doom scrolling for no real reason. So I deleted again.

But anyway, gave me more time to get into more hobbies and be more active irl.

2

u/All_Cheesecake 27d ago

I quit Facebook and instagram about a month ago, I also left a long term relationship so Iā€™m sure that factor is playing into things as well for me but I also feel lonely.

Even though I feel lonely I do feel happier and more satisfied - I have the same thoughts about real life connections as you do but now it feels like I actually have the capacity and time to take action on them.

2

u/HeyHeyJG 27d ago

That "loneliness" is the tentacles reaching back out. They miss you and must be in control.

2

u/Significant_Year_282 27d ago

Iā€™m 23 now, and Iā€™ve been basically social media (IG, X, Bluesky, Snapchat) free for like four years. I sometimes visit like maybe once every three or so months or if I need to check up on someone who only uses one of thoseā€¦ itā€™s been amazing. Instead, Iā€™ve began using Pinterest as a crutch because I just love being surrounded by things that I like that make me feel good and positive. And I donā€™t doom scroll for hours either. Maybe fifteen minutes before Iā€™m off doing something else like reading, writing or crocheting or playing video games.

I love it so far and I think Iā€™ll continue on that path. Itā€™s not the end of the world. Think of these as opportunities that you have with yourself to learn something knew or try something different

2

u/Elle_tizzie 27d ago

Omg same! At first. I de-activated my IG almost two months ago. And yes I did sort of substitute the time with Reddit. But I still think Iā€™m coming out on top as far as time haha. But overall, I feel better about myself. Iā€™m actually a pretty confident woman but IG was tearing me down with all the perfect photos,etc. It affected my mental health a little more than I thought! Iā€™ve had a few friends text and ask if I deleted IG. I have FB, but never really been a big fan of it. I have not been as social but I have friends that call and text. With a couple friends I had to initiate the conversations but now I know that if I continuously have to initiate then we arenā€™t as good of friends as I thought!! Anyway, donā€™t feel lonely, just feel peace ā˜ŗļø

2

u/CyberCat-P911 27d ago

Your stalkers realize when you disappearā€¦

2

u/betrayed_by_myself 25d ago

when i abandoned fb like 7 years back it felt like such a big deal. but once i deleted itā€¦ it was like i forgot all about it. the people who actually care about you and value your time have ways of reaching you and telling you about their lives outside of social media. i do find i sometimes miss out on events and stuff, esp not having an IG account, but luckily my friends invite me to things and let me know whatā€™s happening!

Ā i think social media fosters a false sense of connection that ultimately only makes us more lonely. Ā 

2

u/gottapaint732 25d ago

I can sooooo relate. I have a business so I have to create content for it on social media. I agree that social media is a huge timesuck. It's gotten to the point where I've used the meta planner to upload my reels and cross post to fb. I just don't want to participate in the illusion of a perfect reality. I've whittled my friends circle on my personal fb acct to 75 people and I will chip away even more. I often joke to myself that I should create ai generated posts for my personal page of all hearts and flowers and use a scheduler. It's all a show.

2

u/Dromiapersonata 24d ago

I completely relateā€”I manage four accounts myself, and itā€™s such a challenge to avoid getting sucked into Instagram and wasting time. Itā€™s honestly so refreshing to connect with like-minded people who feel the same way. Sometimes I wonder if Iā€™m the only one who thinks like this because people often look at me like Iā€™m weird for not wanting to be constantly on social media. Itā€™s nice to know Iā€™m not alone in this!

1

u/gottapaint732 24d ago

You are definitely not alone!

2

u/naAunTruyu 24d ago

After youā€™ve been off for long enough. Youā€™ll realize how much it was just an ego trigger. And what youā€™re feeling isnā€™t being lonely because you had people on there rather truly realizing you donā€™t have as many real friends as you thought. Those that care about you will take time to reach out and vice versa. You donā€™t need to see what Patricia had for breakfast, or her hanging out with her new friends or travelling or,.. nor you donā€™t have to post that and live through your posts rather than living your actual life. Whilst i get you and that feeling can suck truly, its mostly realizing how much other people are sucked into that fake world and arenā€™t willing to build real connections that makes you feel bad

1

u/Queen-of-meme 28d ago

Haven't been on it since 2011. The only time I miss it is when I can't see content someone linked that demands that you log in. But having Instagram is not something I miss.

1

u/slightlysadpeach 28d ago

It was hard for the first two months. Iā€™m still ā€œlonelyā€ but I no longer feel FOMO or comparison, which was worse. For me, the boost of connection was massively outweighed by hating myself through social comparison on Instagram.

Overall I feel more disconnected and lonely, but mentally stable, if that makes sense. Only three months out though.

1

u/Hustle4better 28d ago

Did you replace using Instagram with something else? Not just the app but the role it played in your own life.

Youā€™re not overthinkingā€¦.youā€™re processing

1

u/[deleted] 28d ago

No second thought. Instagram was blocking me from following public accounts saying some bullshit like some users prefer to manually approve followers etc when it was them flagging me as spam. Fuck IG and meta as a whole. Everything they touch they ruin.

Itā€™s nice not knowing what stupid crap people are posting on their stories because face it, itā€™s never anything remotely interesting nowadays. Not like it was back in 2014-2015, Iā€™ve rarely seen any actual personal stuff on there with anyone for several years before I deleted my account.

1

u/Frequent_Gas_6335 28d ago

I felt more lonely when I had an Instagram tbh

1

u/cyankitten 28d ago

Have you asked any of them to hang out? I know they might be geographically too far or too busy but if you havenā€™t asked do. (Yes, I know how intimidating that can feel.)

1

u/Bee_thebestU 28d ago

Iā€™ts the dopamin.

1

u/electric_autumn 28d ago

Before hopping back on social media, I felt free. You won't miss any of it because you'll be too busy living.

1

u/Vegetable_Paper1373 28d ago

Not lonely at all. The people who truly matter to me reach out by texting or calling, and I quickly realized that the people who donā€™t have my number are inconsequential to my life.

1

u/DestroyerOfNuts95 28d ago

This feeling after that is not called "loneliness" it's called "peace"

1

u/logicflow123 28d ago

How real was it

1

u/Beautiful-Device-735 28d ago

Been 3yrs best decision i made

1

u/Flashy-Read-9417 28d ago

Other folks have kinda hit on the main points really well, so I won't add to it. I will say, as someone who felt the same way when deleting Facebook and IG back in 2017, now I just set an app timer on Reddit/TikTok (the remaining social media I have). So that I keep the benefits of having those pieces of media while not letting them become too large of a timesink.

1

u/breefeelz 28d ago

Hey legend, I definitely felt lonely for a few weeks during the adjustment period but itā€™s so immensely worth it. Youā€™ve got this.

1

u/seechak 28d ago

My Reddit usage has peaked since I quit Instagram (itā€™s been a week). Itā€™s been liberating

1

u/nuradar9 27d ago

I did the exact same thing. Nearly 2 months in now and never felt more peace in my life. Sure it did feel lonely at first but when I really think about it, I honesty felt just as lonely when I had IG. It does get better though. I've been able to think more clearly, I've been able to focus more on myself and my anxiety is no longer through the roof. Best decision I ever made.

1

u/Neither-Lifeguard931 27d ago

I also deleted instagram about a month ago and honestly as soon as i pressed 'delete account' I felt a lot more at ease. I noticed how i don't procrastinate as much as i used to, am a lot less on my phone especially at night... I do get very lonely now since all my friends are either married with kids or in a relationship. And i live alone and don't really have a good relationship with my parents... But I do feel i appreciate being at peace and not surrounded with drama and stuff. I notice how being alone works good for me even if i get lonely from time to time.

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u/Jazzlike_Bed2695 27d ago

I thought about creating a monthly newsletter for my friends and family, just to keep them updated with my life. I havenā€™t gone through with it yet but Iā€™m thinking about it. I wish there was a app where itā€™s just my friends and family sharing their lives and no other nonsense

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u/tretmann_fettleber 27d ago

I quit Facebook for a year and it felt like everyone forgot about me. Even though I reached out to people (more than before, because quitting fb freed up so much time for me) I rarely got an invitation back.

After a year I caved and there were all the event notifications, the party invites etc. that I had missed. So I had to come crawling back :-/

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u/perolikewhy714 27d ago

I logged out (& deleted apps) of my ig & fb in Sept to see how long I can last. So far I dont miss it. I picked up reddit tho šŸ˜ but its totally different. Im hoping to give reddit up as well eventually.

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u/clarityofdesire 27d ago

Any artists out here trying to quit Instagram? Iā€™m at a total loss how to remove it from my life and grow as an artist.

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u/foolonthegrill 27d ago

Stories, posts and reel sharing were a huge contribution to conversation starting. I deleted IG 4 months ago and I still feel lonely. I still have the same friends on other socials but we had 10 times less interactions. I guess the relationships were just shallow and based on achievements and internet pop culture more than a connection.

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u/BnBman 27d ago

No change, although I was never particularly active. Give your friends a call, go out, host a dinner or something.

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u/Skiigo 27d ago

I feel so similar to you. I havent been on ig in about 1.5 weeks and I feel like Iā€™m making a huge mistake on missing out and not being in the loop about whatā€™s trending and stuff. As a very secure person social media makes me feel so boring and awkward bc I canā€™t engage with it in the way that my friends do. Iā€™m extroverted and adventurous irl but so meek on my ig. I feel like I couldnā€™t fit in there.

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u/Skiigo 27d ago

Whatā€™s funny is that Iā€™ve wanted to become a YouTuber/ social media influencer for sometime, but I HATE having to post on social media. I want to give ppl guidance and inspiration through my voice, experiences and passions and display my art and show my appreciation for life. Iā€™m wanting to show ppl how to be okay with being imperfect, to embrace their flaws and failures and express who they are despite whoā€™s looking, but Iā€™m surrounded by a sea of shallowness and tragically unoriginal people.

Iā€™m realizing that I have a huge nostalgia for old Facebook and MySpace where it seemed like ppl had authenticity and normalcy to them. I even admire the way older ppl use Facebook and the simple things that they feel happy to share. Thereā€™s a sort of purity and humbleness to them and I want to channel that. I hope to inspire others to use social media in that way as well.

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u/Asleep_Special_7402 27d ago

I've never used IG. So there's that.

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u/trocse5000 27d ago

Well I did a challenge a couple years ago and went off social media for a year (Facebook, Instagram), I didn't deactivate my account I just uninstalled the app, I've lived in a fair few different countries and have random friends dotted all over the world so when I'm visiting a certain place, posting that I'm there is the best way to reconnect with people I might not have seen for years as well as crossing as a memory timeline for myself to look back on, my phone albums are all over the place.

I had actually never felt more free, suddenly had all this time on my hands, spent my time making nicer meals for myself, working on old hobbies I'd abandoned for doomscrolling, just genuinely having a nice time with myself.

After the year I decided to keep insta installed on my phone.

I made myself a shadow account and I follow only art and food accounts as I had really missed seeing some beautiful people's random art and get inspiration from it as well as recipes, you know the drill.

So only when I'm wanting some inspiration I'll login to the shadow account, have a look and when I'm done I'll logout again.

Maybe every one, two, sometimes three weeks I'll log in to my main account and answer a few messages, scroll for 5 mins and realise, damn this is giving me anxiety and I'll logout again.

Anyway, sometimes my fingers will try and open insta by themselves as they do when I have my phone in my hand and when I open it and see myself not logged in it reminds me to get off the app. Works for me.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, you can moderate it, you don't have to completely chop it off, it is unfortunately a great way to keep in touch with people, you don't need to stay logged in all the time.

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u/Responsible_Fan_4759 27d ago

You are not overthinking. I got off IG for a couple months. I deleted the app. I got back on for a couple days. It made me feel awful being back on. You are not missing anything! Get out and live!!!! Try something new. I got the masterclass app. Iā€™m taking the painting class. Itā€™s great! Theres so many different groups. You can deep dive into so many subjects.

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u/jamsea 26d ago

I uninstalled Instagram and blocked Instagram.com on my phone, but I still use beeper.com, so people can still send me DM's from Instagram. If they send me reels, I'll look at them once a week Sunday on my laptop (not my phone) when I'm just chillin' anyway.

It's the best of both worlds for me. I'm in one group chat in Instagram for social events from one group of friends and another couple group chats on LINE for a couple of other friend groups and I miss nothing.

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u/tablepillow56 26d ago

So relieved, I was constantly comparing myself to others and doom scrolling. It's been two years and all I use now is reddit and Facebook for keeping in contact with family and friends

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u/BreatheEmbraceChange 26d ago

I think it's okay to have one social media platform. But having five is completely unnecessary. Fb is the worst imo. Delete.

Personally I only let people follow me that are actual friends of mine. Which means less than 50 people. I don't need acquaintances on my social media that I don't hang w.

I keep close friends only. If we don't talk or hang out minimum once a month... then they don't belong on my social media. Delete, let go, bye to ppl that are not an active part of my weekly life.

Most people won't even notice you deleted them. And they likely feel mutual feelings towards your low-investment, pointless, acquaintance-ship.

Digital detox is where it's at.

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u/Brave-Problem6739 25d ago

You are absolutely correct! I can relate. I take mine in like Microdosing just a little bit of something like a specific group Pickleball or girl doing jump rope and other things but even those get old after a while. Lately Iā€™ve been listening to books on tape on my phone, summaries of the whole book. Very good comments. Thank you. Iā€™m not the only crazy one out there. šŸ¤£

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u/eldrinor 25d ago

Lonely. Depriving yourself of joy and social connection wonā€™t make you disciplined. You canā€™t drive a var without fuel. Youā€™ll get depressed which isnā€™t good for ā€disciplineā€.

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u/Dromiapersonata 24d ago

You get joy and social connection from social media?

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u/eldrinor 24d ago

From following people I know in real life or following accounts about self care or activities close by - yes

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u/Dromiapersonata 24d ago

If that works for you, thatā€™s awesome! Personally, I donā€™t feel the same way. I enjoy listening to great podcasts about self-care and discipline and reading books on those topics, so I donā€™t feel the need to turn to social media for that. I do miss the animation and design tutorials, thoughā€”thereā€™s just so much variety on Instagram thatā€™s hard to find elsewhere online, so I totally get where youā€™re coming from.

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u/eldrinor 24d ago

Donā€™t you have any interests? I mean, Iā€™m not thinking about tools to improve but things like painting or sports or revenues. And how do you follow what your friends are doing? I guess older people use Facebook and younger Tiktok, but still.

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u/Dromiapersonata 24d ago

Yeah and my interests involve being outdoors, staying active, and being present in my own life and with the people I care about, so spending a lot of time on my phone doesnā€™t really help with that. For events, yeah, it can be a bit tricky, but I've been using a website and an app to find stuff happening in my city. Plus, I just talk to people and hear about things that way. Honestly, not having social media isnā€™t the end of the worldā€”you just adjust a bit.

And lol Iā€™m 28, and Iā€™ve hated social media ever since Instagram added reels. I canā€™t stand how fake and superficial it all feels sometimes. Itā€™s like a total time-suck that doesnā€™t give you much back. Iā€™d rather spend my time on real things that actually matter to me.

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u/domsativaa 28d ago

I love it when people say "I quit social media, but I still have Facebook, which I rarely use.." it's like saying "oh I quit drugs and alcohol, but I still smoke weed every now and then..." Umm okay.