I’ve been addressed as “sir” before as a tall and slightly androgynous woman. Some people really go out of their way to offend people they perceive to be different lmao even though I’m totally cis. Other, slightly less disrespectful people have asked me if I’m trans. My response is, “No, but would it be a problem if I was?” Pic of me here
Thank you very much!!!! I don’t have any issues in the fuckability department so these people can suck a rock then kick it :) It’s terrible that ANY woman can and might get this sort of “criticism” despite being kind, talented (like best of your COUNTRY talented), and beautiful but there’s always someone who wants to tear us down based on their own crappy politics. Like being trans would invalidate our contributions to this world. And falling back on bigotry rather than exploring our own petty misunderstandings seems to be the norm these days, it truly makes no sense!!!
A lot of people who hit the front page on roast me are more attractive than you. I don't mean that as a diss. I mean that as an example that so many people on here are so ready to put someone down for their looks while said person are probably better looking than anyone they have a shot with in real life. If people here crap on you for your looks then they prob are projecting their own ugliness as a person and probably couldn't land someone as good as you.
I think you misunderstand that sub. For a start it's called roast me. People submit themselves to be ridiculed because they're sure they can't be, or can 'take the heat' if they know they can be. Most people on there are especially attractive, at least in their own opinions.
Thank you! And that is ABSOLUTELY a factor, I love makeup very much but at this point when I do full face I get even more comments, like… can I just be a human woman without having to perform in a way that you’re used to? Damned if you do and damned if you don’t, as they say
I'm tall (for a woman), and I have short hair, so I get called "sir" a lot too. It doesn't bother me at all. I figure people are just trying their best, and making their best guess.
People are such morons sometimes. My mom got called sir a lot on the phone and at the drive thru because she was a heavy smoker. I remember once, at Hardee's the lady at the window said thank you sir and my mom said it back. The poor lady was so confused. Lmao.
Some people really go out of their way to offend people they perceive to be different
I've made the mistake before with a short stocky girl I talked to nearly everyday at a food truck. I was not even paying attention, and I felt like an ass. What I'm saying is it's not always malicious
Matthew Lillard is a gem, and the main reason I haven’t posted there is because I know every single comment would be comparing me to a man or calling it an onlyfans promotion 😂
ETA I’ve gotten Mick Jagger before so nothing can hurt me now
I'm not trying to be argumentative, but I think you look very feminine. I'm 6'8", so I'm biased AF, but tall women are awesome.. in fact, being tall myself means I usually get to date way out of my league when it comes to tall women.
I'm just saying, you look like a beautiful cis woman to me. Don't let short assholes fall you otherwise.
Thank you, I think so too!! I’m not hyperfeminine despite being 6’2” and it’s been a lot of short dudes to ask this question/address me this way, but it’s also been a lot of women, interestingly. Culture is a hell of a drug, and I’m very privileged to feel safe and respected in my community where my friends and regulars will tell people like this to pound sand. Very interesting, though, how many people are comfortable speculating on (and attempting to degrade??) something so personal. This woman is also beautiful, all I see is a team full of talent and winners. People will anchor to any small thing that’s currently counter to the zeitgeist at the slightest discomfort, apparently.
Unfortunately, a lot of plyable people have been convinced that trans people are the new threat to Lord knows what. In fact, part of the reason they're being targeted is because there are so few of them. I wish I had the link, but I read an article where a reporter from the Orlando Sentinel who has covered the whole deal Disney has with the state of Florida for decades. He speculates that the initial push against Disney by evangelicals in the 80s (when Disney corporate granted the same benefits to sane sex partners in domestic partnerships that hetero couples received) was more about the fact that Disney had recently appointed a Jewish CEO. He explained that for generations, evangelicals could safely raise their kids on a diet of Disney programming because they always assumed that Disney shared their values (see Walt Disney and antisemitism). Unfortunately for them, by the 80s, being openly antisemitic was slightly more frowned upon than it was in the 60s (and today, apparently) so evangelicals chose to make their outrage about gay people, because it appeared their numbers were far fewer than they actually were, and it's easier to demonize a group of people if the people you're turning against them don't actually have said people in their families and social circles. Most recently, the "demon of choice" has become trans people, mainly because it's become clear that there were always more gay people than speculated, so they had to find an even smaller minority to turn their hatred on. The fact is, most of the people so concerned about trans people will never actually encounter one in the wild. They've been convinced that trans people are going to make their kids trans, that they're sexual predators using whatever gender bathroom as their hunting grounds and a million other gross lies to keep them feeling threatened by trans people. What's the old saying? If you live your life as a hammer, everything is going to look like a nail? The fact is, most of these people don't even know what to look for to determine someone's dead gender. Plus, it's really still all about hating Jewish people, because in every one of these conspiracy theories, it's always a cabal of Jewish men pulling the strings, making people catch gay or paying for pre-teens gender reassignment surgery (even though the youngest person in the USA to surgically transition was a 17 year old emancipated minor.)
The point is, these people are always looking for an evil plot because they can't wrap their tiny minds around the idea that not everyone thinks exactly like every single one of them thinks.
Snaps to this! If you are interested in exploring more cultural panics, I cannot recommend the podcast You’re Wrong About enough. We go through this time and time again, but we have been systematically discouraged from critical thinking for decades, thus the adage that history is doomed to repeat itself. Shoutout to Natalie Wynn for Contrapoints as well, but her commentary can be pretty dense/esoteric so You’re Wrong About is a nice balance!
I've had a sex change and at this point basically never get asked the question anymore, but very occasionally (maybe once out of every dozen or so dates) when insecure short men go on dates with me they cautiously ask.
I am pretty sure for every guy who asks me this, there must be about five or ten cis women they ask the same question, just due to statistics and my overall appearance.
So I just gaslight them & it works pretty well. Obviously I am not going to out myself to a guy who has hangups big enough to ask that question.
Never sure how an actual cis woman would respond though. I always want to say "why would it matter to you if I was" because I think deep down that's the best response.
But I have been worried maybe that would out me. I usually reply with something borderline transphobic like "are you saying I look like a man" but then I feel icky about that after.
UGH I am so sorry that this is your experience, you sound like an incredibly thoughtful person and you deserve to receive the same courtesy! I don’t take offense to the question, I know that I’m beautiful regardless of being trans or cis. I’ve blessedly never felt unsafe in these situations and am very confident asking a) why it’s anyone’s business and b) why it matters. It is strange and angering to me that, as a cis woman, there have been people who have defaulted to he/him as an attempt to make me feel bad as a perceived trans woman. Like bitch, you know my pronouns damn well, trans or not, but you’re trying to make some sort of point?? Especially as I’m a bartender and literally serving these dumbasses. Last time it happened my bf was there and called the guy “ma’am” all night 😂 Don’t piss off the people making your food/drinks, and ESPECIALLY don’t piss off their partners and regulars.
You sound super rad & frankly I think those of us who've had sex changes are blessed to have cis women like you in this world who place the blame where it belongs, so thank you for that
It would be so easy for a woman in your shoes to just turn on us for attracting these sorts of bigots to your life tbh. The choice to instead provide us cover by pointing out it shouldn't matter shows a lot of strength in character
I am hoping that all the controversies this Olympics will show average people how stupid this all is, and maybe the bigots will start being put in their place on behalf of both cis and trans women
This whole gender investigation culture has all gotten so out of hand in recent years. I wish we could all get back to some sense of sanity, if we ever had any to begin with
My fingers are all crossed 🤞🏼 Apparently people are trying to claim TERF ideology is “punk” and to those people, I say to VERY disrespectfully fuck off!! Ridiculous that self proclaimed feminists and liberals have the gall to deny the reality of others’ identities while simultaneously fighting for reproductive rights and bodily autonomy. Have you ever watched Contrapoints? She is trans, and one of the most prolific philosophers of our time (in my opinion) as well as being funny, theatrical, and deliciously ironic.
That said, there are so many more wonderful people doing so much difficult and important work to make things right, yourself included. We may be in a shadow universe, but I still believe that we can get back to the light. Hope is not lost!
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u/pleathershorts Aug 12 '24
I’ve been addressed as “sir” before as a tall and slightly androgynous woman. Some people really go out of their way to offend people they perceive to be different lmao even though I’m totally cis. Other, slightly less disrespectful people have asked me if I’m trans. My response is, “No, but would it be a problem if I was?” Pic of me here