r/dating_advice • u/Morales11682 • 1d ago
First shot at dating in a potential “healthy” relationship
Hello. Im a 21yr male and i have previously been in a toxic relationship for about 3 years. Fortunately i have finally left, my ex partner was a narcissist and im pretty sure psychopathic. I fell out of love a long time ago so leaving wasn’t as hard. I have recently met this new guys and i actually like him, hes respects me and isnt rude. We both work all day so we see spend the night with each other but we go to the bar or restaurant as a date when we can. We both share in common being in toxic relationships and we both are working on our mental issues. My toxic relationship was my first and only actual relationship, which brings me into my concern, how do you date? My past relationship had me walking on eggs shells all the time so i just naturally think violence is associated with passionate love (working on it) so how do i know its gonna work out?I find this dude attractive and i like hugging me and going to sleep with him. Im just concerned because I haven’t developed an obsession as strong for him as my last one and i really struggle with communicating my feelings. We only have been dating for a month now and we even said “i love you” when saying goodbye. I dont know what to do? How do be in a relationship? Is love commitment? Or is it based on strong feelings for each others. He is on anti depressants and anti anxiety so thats were im really worried. I feel like the medicine blunt his emotions and im not sure if he feels the same way. He texts me everyday and invites me everywhere. I feel really bad for myself because all i remember from my last relationship was to just always stay home and being told what to do. I feel stuck and i feel like is its gonna ruin this. How do approach this within myself?
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u/LiKwidSwordZA 1d ago
Did you grow up in a household with patents who had a toxic relationship with
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u/Morales11682 1d ago
My whole family was involved with drugs and being violent towards each other was just common in my family
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u/LiKwidSwordZA 1d ago
Go to Al anon or adult children of alcoholics and also therapy if you can afford it or get it free through school
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