r/breastfeeding • u/MacaronSpiritual5848 • 17h ago
6 weeks and BF is still painful and latch is horridly shallow
/RANT (advice not required as every suggestion on this sub-reddit ive tried already. But solidarity, stories of others who got through it and words of wisdom welcome)
Also posted before.
I've watched all the videos and had BF support/midwife come out to help me with positioning and attachment - she said i am doing all the right things and can see i am knowledgeable, I clearly have a fast let down and an oversupply too. So even with tweeks to positioning and attachment, it is still painful and painful afterwards too. I'm also really tired after a sleepless night so probably feeling much worse just now than it is. Some days I just get through it and it doesn't effect me.
I am making good use of silverettes and ibuprofen to manage the pain after feeds. I can feel the latch isn't good, but no matter what I do and how many times I try, we can never get a good latch. Every feed is at best uncomfortable and at worse painful. He's been checked for tongue ties (doesn't have).
Plan for now is take it week by week (or day by day in this case) and I am aiming for 12 weeks, pumping when need be and supplementing with formula. But mate, why is this so HARD?!
He's gaining weight and absolutely thriving despite shit latch, but on bad days like today, I am feeling raw and tired. Wanna keep going but MAN WHAT THE HELL HOW IS THIS SO HARD š¤£ I thought by 6 weeks we would have improvement and be in the swing of it
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u/Sarmiclah 16h ago
Iām 3 months in and in the exact same situation. Tried everything, had multiple consultations etc. I then went hard core - staying inside for 2 weeks basically in my pajamas (except for dropping my eldest off at school) to perfect the latch and feeding. Got a good point where feeding felt comfortable but latch on still stung - however Christmas family gatherings and not nursing in my own chair at home has proved we are far from perfecting breastfeeding and girly has regressed within a few days to shallow latches and itās painful again. So so disappointed.
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u/emro93 16h ago
We had a very difficult start to nursing, and I truly think itās because my daughter is so little. She had a good latch in the beginning and I had an oversupply so we were lucky there, but I didnāt keep the latch good when sheād nurse to sleep so I ended up with open wounds. I would count to 10 over and over every time sheād nurse - āI can stand anything for 10 seconds!ā - and relied heavily on silverettes and Earth Mama nipple cream.
12 weeks after she was born, I remember being SO excited to have one fully healed and not painful nipple (for my 30th birthday š ). My goal was to make it another week every time, and every time, I did. After the 12 week mark things started continuing to heal and only improved from there. The flipple technique helped a lot, and changing positions frequently. Sheās about to be 20 months now and Iām 30 weeks pregnant and she is still nursing. As soon as she got bigger and I learned more too, deeper latches were more easy and everything improved. You can both do this!
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u/DearPiccolo 15h ago
Solidarity!!! My baby is 8 weeks but Iāve only been primarily BFing for a few weeks because he was born early and we had to fortify breastmilk and bottle feed at first. His latch on the right is fine but the left one is SO PAINFUL and I have to constantly detach and start again. Itās so annoying!!!
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u/Opening-Pass249 16h ago
Just here in solidarityā¦my early breastfeeding journey was rough and I had some damage. Got my period back at 8 weeks and that was justā¦yeah. Coupled with fast letdown, tons of milkā¦and a newborn that projectile vomited my milk right back at me if he drank too fast or gulped air. Weāre at 17 months of nursing and Iām thankful I fought to keep going. My favorite trick was soaking š in warm water + epsom salts in a cheapy plastic cup in the shower. It helped me some.
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u/xtchristina 16h ago
When I felt like this in the beginning weeks I gave myself a break and exclusively pumped and bottle fed for a few days. My LO cracked both my nipples and was spitting up blood and her poop had black specs. It freaked me out! I used my silverettes all day and now my nipples are fine. By 8 weeks my LOās latch got better with time and practice. Hang in there!
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u/Final-Breadfruit5632 15h ago
Ooo I feel this post! It got to a point for me where I would fill with dread when she started crying her hunger cry.
At about 16 weeks it got easier for me almost overnight. She had a nursing strike, I was exclusively pumping for 4 weeks (serious respect to the exclusive pumpers - this was my hell) and after a bought of unexplained diarrhea she started feeding like a pro with no pain!
One thing that helped me was a big comfy breastfeeding chair and pillow. But maybe she just got older/ bigger and things got easier.
It sucks so bad to not enjoy BFing. I hope it resolves itself one way or another soon
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u/sleepykitty299 15h ago
its def not easy. it took us until about 3 months for her to get big enough
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u/bllrmbsmnt 15h ago
Nipple guards are the only way I get any milk to my 4w baby without a traumatic latch.
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u/PrncssPunch 15h ago
This sounds like tongue/lip tie. Ask yoir pediatritian. Bf was excruitating for me until we got the tongue tie revision at 5 weeks old. It's great now, and baby can make sounds she couldn't before
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u/guavajelly93 14h ago
I also aimed for 12 weeks. If it was still painful I was for sure stopping. By the time 12 weeks came around one side felt great and the other just uncomfortable. I was able to push through the last discomfort and now at 14 weeks I've just spent my first 24 hours without silverettes. Honestly the first 12 weeks were absolutely brutal for me, so much pain, frustration and tears. I believe it all came down to babys mouth needing to grow.
If you can hang in there it will get better. Just be sure you can mentally handle it as there were times along the way I felt I was going to break. Your baby needs a happy mother more than he needs to be breastfed.
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u/hannahsangel 13h ago
I'm sorry you're having such a hard time. It's the one thing no one ever tells you about.. the nipples!!! We had a bad start to bf too and ended up being mainly bottles for the first 8ish weeks before we were able to come back and ebf. I went through heaps of nipple cream that I didn't think I would need (though happy to say the last one I brought didn't even get used, but man, what a waste, haha.) Turns out my boy did have a bad tongue tie but where I am they wouldn't say since he was gainig weight, (yeah because mum is suffering feeding every hour) and we got ot done privately at 8 months and wow what a difference, I look back now and am so sad for all that wasted time stressing and me being sore and baby being sore and not being able to relax and enjoy it. I make sure now to take in these moments and enjoy him being little while I can. One thing is FED is best, not breastfed but fed, so this is your sign that it is ok to do a formula if it's too stressful pumping and hard to breastfed. Or you can mix to give you a break and see how things come along by 12 or so weeks. ā”ā”
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u/sy65983 9h ago
I feel you OP! I had mastitis, cracked nipples, clogged milk ducts and milk blebs because my LOās latch was too shallow. By 7-8 weeks her latch got better. My left side is still painful but itās much much better now. Have you checked vasospasms? I have seen many lactation consultants but the last one is suspecting I have vasospasms too. This might be the reason of your pain. But I promise it will get better OP!
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u/hummingbird_patronus 9h ago
Been there! And itās BRUTAL. My prenatal chiropractor said her mouth was just not big enough yet. When it was completely unbearable, I used nipple shields. Then I remember the latch on would absolutely kill for about 10 seconds, and I would just breathe through it and try not to die. Eventually (somewhere around 9-12 weeks), it became completely painless, and itās wonderful! The convenience is truly unmatched, and once you get over the hump, youāll be so happy you stuck it out ā¤ļø weāve been breastfeeding for almost 16 months now!
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u/mmneedles33 8h ago
Solidarity! Fucking painful I had to wait till 9 weeks or so when my lo was bigger and grew into my nipples š« I pray it gets easier for you cause it's the absolute worst.
I'd flinch and cry each feed, and my best friend was having an easy journey, so it made me even more low got there eventually, but was the worst.
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u/Professional_Ad_4953 16h ago
Girl saaaaaaame. We are at 12 weeks and some days are greatā¦ the last few have been the painful latch, blanched nipples that sting until the next feed.
I had a doula who helped us with the latch and Iāve had painless feedsā¦ then he gets lazy and goes back to shallow for a few days until I micromanage him again, lol.
Proud of you for pushing through! Hope you both find your grooveā¦ I think deeper latches got easier 8-10 weeks when he was a little bigger. Hereās hoping you experience the same!