I low key hate Christmas and everything it stands for

[u/thetreesknees_]

I hate the pressure and obligation of gift giving. This is not just the usual "it's too capitalist". I don't want things, and I don't want to be forced to give things. If I want things I'll get them myself. If someone wants to get me a gift, I want it to be something organic not just that it's that time of year again. Similarly, when I give gifts I want it to be something I made or came across naturally.

I hate that once November rolls around everything becomes about having to buy all this shit for everyone and if you miss someone and they get you something you just feel so guilty.

I hate that it's supposed to be about family and whatever but it just becomes this big thing full of obligations including giant gatherings and appearances and gift exchanges. It certainly doesn't help when you're not in a position to really contribute much other than your time, and you just feel like a giant drain on it all.

If it was just a time of the year to relax and spend time with your family that would be great. But Christmas is in no way relaxing. It sits in the middle of our culturally accepted holiday time off and uses up a big chunk of it with preparation and obligation. My birthday is also 2 days before Christmas and though my family has always been good about keeping them separate, trying to have a party is always an exercise in scheduling hell.

I dread it every year and wish I was part of a family/society that celebrated other holidays at this time of year.

[u/Mission_Grapefruit92]

All obligations are only perceived and “not literal” doesn’t mean “not real” in any context

[u/AttemptImpossible111 → u/Mission_Grapefruit92]

Not true at all. If I don't go to work, I lose my job. I lose my flat. I can't eat.

If I don't meet my girlfriend, we break up.

If this person doesn't participate in Xmas in ways they do not want to, what happens? Will they be kicked out of the family?

[u/Mission_Grapefruit92 → u/AttemptImpossible111]

People will be sad and think he’s weird, especially if they give him gifts and he doesn’t reciprocate

The obligations you listed are only perceived. You want to remain employed, and you want to maintain your relationship, so you meet the obligations that fulfill those desires.

[u/AttemptImpossible111 → u/Mission_Grapefruit92]

There are members of my immediate and extended families who do not participate in gift giving. They made it clear years ago and so for years no one buys them gifts. If I think they're weird for that, they do not know.

Why wouldn't this person's family respond in the same way. And what so what if they think they're weird for not liking Xmas. So what?

They are not perceived as there are actual and serious consequences for failing to meet them.

[u/Mission_Grapefruit92 → u/AttemptImpossible111]

Everybody’s different..

Whether he feels an obligation or not isn’t up to you or your family

[u/AttemptImpossible111 → u/Mission_Grapefruit92]

The word you are looking for is pressure. Not obligation