r/REDDITORSINRECOVERY • u/judasblue • Nov 10 '19
Community Ground Rules
Folks,
This is a pretty great community, and it's awesome to be able to be a part of helping keep it going.
Unfortunately lately this has involved a lot of actively removing posts and banning folks, which kinda blows.
So just a few points to remind folks what we are about here. This is a sub for folks in recovery to share their experience and strength with each other directly. Recovery isn't a narrow word for us. 12 step, lifering, smart recovery, buddhist practice, medical interventions, whatever is working for you might be something that helps others. We don't care if you have problems with substance addiction, food addiction, whatever. The general principle is inclusivity.
What we aren't about is being here to start arguments. If you think your thing is the only thing and are here to start fights with people who have found another path, then this might not be the best community for you.
We aren't about your youtube channel. That's not sharing directly with our community in our chosen forum. You want to talk with people on youtube, that's totally cool and probably really useful, but not what this particular sub is about. We are going to remove those posts and probably ban you.
We aren't about anything that looks like marketing in any form. Outgoing links almost always look like marketing to us. Your phone number to your 9-5 business looks like marketing to us. Mentions of specific treatment centers, ditto. This stuff is getting more and more subtle over time. Your AMA or constant opinion as an identified professional encouraging people to DM you is more complex, but while you might only have the best possible intentions and be doing everything pro bono, we can't sort it from predatory marketing so we are going to remove your posts and ban you.
Finally solicitations to studies. We were allowing these on a case by case basis, because good research is something that helps the whole community in the long run. But unfortunately we get inundated with these from students every semester and sorting the low quality student projects from high end refereed research from marketing cover takes way too much mod time, so we aren't good with those at this point either.
Sorry to have to write all this out and be so mod bossy about it. As we get larger we are attracting more of this stuff and every couple of days I have to go through and remove posts and/or ban people.
And most of this isn't coming from actual community members (which sadly means the offenders are unlikely to see this post). The vast majority of this stuff is coming from people who this is their first post to our community. Which is actually kind of awesome in some ways. We are still a supportive group for our members and those who wish to join with us.
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u/fightbackcbd Nov 11 '19
I like this forum a lot for conversations. And talking about recovery.
The worst posts to me are when people post their creative writing or story telling about their using etc and usually linking to their blog and spamming the post in other Reddit forums. It’s not special or entertaining just because they took something mundane like using all day and the lifestyle that comes with it and spun a tale for people. I hate that shit, besides that it’s usually more triggering for using than recovery talk. I personally hate those kind of posts.
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u/judasblue Nov 12 '19
Agreed. There were a couple of these that seemed kind of like a form of self expression (not one that I particularly enjoyed, but still) and we didn't do anything about. But then it became evident that these are generally people trying to advance their writing career. I can see cases where we still might not ban all of these outright. Some people's sharing and other people's hopes of commercial essay careers can look a lot the same in a few cases and the last thing we want to do is limit people's self expression where that expression isn't obviously counter to our community goals. But cross posted essays, particularly where there is any outgoing link, seem more about self promotion than honest sharing of experience and strength.
The worst obvious offender, the person I think you are referring to with the links to their other work, was banned a few weeks ago.
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u/fightbackcbd Nov 12 '19
yes, im sure for some people writing about their experiences is therapeutic. im probably just old and jaded lol but i never found anything about drug life in writing or movies etc to be entertaining. i lived it already.
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u/numberdud Jan 03 '23
Two days ago I ran out of weed and decided to quit. Actually, I've been thinking about it for a while. I'm 79, and have been smoking longer than most of you have been alive. When I smoke, it's not just every day, it's every hour from morning until night. I think it's holding me back, but I'm not sure. Most of my friends are dead. I'm retired and don't have to work. Not married, no kids. My health is ok, although I've had serious problems in the past. I look much younger physically and also have a younger "head" than people my age. I don't date or do any social activities, but I know I should. Easier said than done. When I was young, I kept busy socially, sexually, volunteering, workwise, even though I smoked weed. I'm feeling withdrawal symptoms. Anxiety, anger, boredom, trouble getting to sleep. How long will this last? Will it diminish? I used to smoke cigarettes for many years, but I stopped 50 years ago and never went back to it. I think smoking weed is a substitute, so actually I never stopped smoking. I just changed the substance. I'm pretty old, so maybe I shouldn't expect much out of life at this point and maybe I should just keep smoking. I really don't know. Any suggestions are appreciated.
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u/panaceafrog Feb 10 '23
IMHO, at 79, You have earned every right there is to be earned, unless you've desecrated a few along the way. Nonetheless, you're decision should be based on whether your consumption of weed is limiting you from being the best 79-80 year old person you can be. I'm about 50 years old. I understand how things changed in our lifetime. I don't understand what it's like to be pushing 80. God bless you! (Why do people treat me like a sneeze when I tell them my age?!) Just keep on, keeping on, I say. Find a community of people somewhere that you can add to. Maybe that's here, or a couple ladies who need a 4th for euchre or something. Just share and add to the communities you like, and be good. That's all we can do.
My dad is going strong at 87. I wish he'd come live with me, but he enjoys going to the bar every afternoon. He meets his buddies for a couple. Occasionally, he plays cards with the ladies. Who am I to tell him what's best for him? He was only ever a beer drinker and never smoked weed or did shots...his friends did. I should say newer friends. His buddies that he grew up with are all gone.
To end, I suggest you follow your heart and don't worry so much. The Irish have a saying,... There are only two things to worry about.
Either you are well or you are sick.
If you are well, there is nothing to worry about.
If you are sick, there are two things to worry about
Either you will get better or you will die.
If you get better, there is nothing to worry about.
If you die, there are two things to worry about,
Either you will go to heaven or you will go to hell.
If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about.
If you go to hell,You'll be so damn busy shaking the hands with all your friends, You won't have anything to worry about!
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u/panaceafrog Feb 10 '23
I want to say that I realize this is Recovery Reddit. I merely gave my opinion to this gentleman, the OP. I understand that most everyone here has found that alcohol and drugs have interfered and ruined their lives, or brought them close to ruin, or just plain had enough. I'm there. I'm 50 and have had enough. I think my body, at 50 is telling me things that say, "We've had enough!". I can say for certain that its affected my progress, and I am running out of time to be the best I can be. I do't do drugs anymore. I try smoking weed to substitute for drinking but I just don't care to smoke anymore. Its strange. I was the pothead among my group, but now they all do the edibles and crap, and I just laugh because I know they'll never enjoy it the way we did. As a addict, I'm not ashamed to say I enjoyed it. Those days are over. Now I'm looking for the path to quit alcohol. This is worse than the others, ok smoking cigarettes too. These two things are what I am looking for help with.
Sorry i felt the need to explain since I am a first time poster in /RIR. Thanks for understanding.
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u/koooolayde Mar 01 '24
I'm also 50, quit drinking alcohol about 3 years ago, never did a quit date, just sort of stopped after being prescribed pregablin & those don't mix well. That & I just decided I was tired of drinking & feeling like crap the next day. Quit cigs about 9 years ago which for me was actually much harder. Had a couple screw ups along the way.
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u/Mother4Wildlings Jan 10 '23
I saw this, and no, your age does NOT factor into whether or not recovery is an option for you. If you feel that your life is uncontrollable/unmanageable without that substance and you want more out of life, then you absolutely have the right to recovery. You are never too old. My own sponsor was told at the age of 60 that she should just die using and I think that’s one of the worst things I’ve ever heard. She is so full of life, and from what it sounds like, you will be too, if you choose to get better. And it will get better. The farther removed you are from the substance AND the disease of addiction, the better you will feel, sleep, and live. Please, you are worth it. To mod: I did read and I am a new poster. Thank you both. Love and service. ❤️🙏
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u/Remarkable-Guide-318 Nov 09 '23
I think that if quiting is occuring to you... then it might be time to. People may say quit and you feel social pressure from them but if you decide quiting for yourself, that is, your own idea... then do it-! Marijuana isn't a hard drug but a drug none the less. It's not even fun. Probably more of a habit for you out of bordom. We are creatures of a habit and a slave to it sometimes.
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u/No_Raise_7160 May 01 '24
Remarkable is right, I had that time I decided I wanted to quit the hard drugs I had to listen to my mind. It took me one OD to figure out I no longer wanted to live that life.
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u/judasblue Jan 03 '23
Awesome decision. Hey you are putting this in a thread no one is going to see except me. If you want an answer to this from folks I would create a post so the rest of the sub can help you out. Also, I am sure you don't mean anything by it, but I would drop the 'longer than most of you have been alive' it comes across as condescending and probably will get less than friendly responses.
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u/numberdud Jan 03 '23
Thanks. How do I post so everyone will see it?
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u/judasblue Jan 03 '23
There should be a create post button somewhere. If you are on desktop it is to the right of this text, but on mobile there are lots of different clients so not sure. But here is the direct link:
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u/numberdud Jan 03 '23
I see a "post" thingy, and a "create" thingy. So I should use create instead of post? I'm on a mobile. Thanks.
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u/judasblue Jan 03 '23
Unfortunately I can't help a ton since I only use desktop reddit, but create sounds likely. On desktop the button is 'create post'.
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u/No_Raise_7160 May 01 '24
I smoke weed for my recovery from hard drugs but found out a year ago my families addiction are weed and alcohol, so far never had a problem with weed as it keeps me away the problem I think is vaping nicotine. I only do weed a couple of times but I feel I don't need to use it, but sorry if I come off as triggering I hope you have a wonderful day fellow redditor. If you quit the best thing is having a support system that's solid, it's the best thing you'll ever need or want in life in hard times.
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u/KapnSpauldn Mar 01 '22
Hi everyone. I am beginning my road to recovery, glad to have found this and hoping to find other groups as well. I just left a rehab this morning that was not doing anything for me unfortunately. I stayed 10 days and was being patient and trying to stick it out, but after the fourth day in a row of asking when I would see a psychiatrist for my undiagnosed issues and having a few other issues with this specific program I decided it wasn't where I needed to be.
I am fortunate enough to have a good support group and I'm happy to say though it's still early in my sobriety that I'm 22 days sober. Not a huge feat but each and everyday I feel stronger and more confident in myself.
I will say that I was extremely fortunate that I had an amazing group in my unit. Filled with positive, caring, and uplifting people. I was so broken to have to leave them, but as I said this program wasn't what I needed.
I'm still sober today and I will keep pushing on my road, one day at a time. I'm hoping that trying to network through various channels, as well as rejoining an IOP that I have been through a few times before this and utilizing it to get to an actual psychiatrist, I will find the best way to deal with my underlying mental health issues for my alcoholism and addiction problems. I'd like to build a larger support web to continue thriving as I am now.
I wish you all a day filled with positivity and wonders.
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u/beforemyeyesforget Sep 06 '22
The groups are not for everyone…. It never was good for me because they focused too much on faith and religion. Faith and religion is what got me to this situation being brought up in a alcoholic catholic family. For me medication 💊 meditation and real long walks help me. We eventually find out what works for us m. Also I started writing down all my feelings. It truly helps. Appreciate you sharing your story. You’re doing great. Keep going 😊
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u/KapnSpauldn Sep 07 '22
Six months have passed since I made that post. I am still going strong and have not faltered or even stumbled. Thank you for replying and all the kind words. Medication, meditation, keeping busy, and keeping to a routine work for me, well that and Aha seltzer waters haha.
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u/Redfoxen72 Sep 23 '22
Good for you 👍 learning and actually doing the day to day of taking care of ourselves is harder than it looks ❤️ I know it’s random but Seeing the days you were able to maintain sobriety helped me in this moment
Ive been ‘quitting’ for years. I’m frustrating myself
Glad you are living
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u/Affectionate_Catch81 Dec 06 '21
Happy to find this. I relapsed last week when my methadone was dropped harder than I expected. I feel horrible but am back on my feet, taking only methadone and focusing on the future I deserve. I just get scared that the next drop will be as bad… and nothing I say to the doc or clinic will help. Needing support from like minded people and want to be a supportive friend as well. Take care!
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u/Tondalaoz Oct 10 '22
If you have proof (documentation) of a previous try at rehab, whether in or outpatient. Bring it in and ask to be put on maintenance. When I started at my clinic, they put me on a 180 day detox. I hadn’t been to rehab before, but I Had quit cold turkey for 9 months. And I went to a private therapist and told her I’d been addicted to opiates and wanted to make sure I stayed clean. Unfortunately, I couldn’t afford to see her often enough. I ended up relapsing. But I had the clinic contact the therapist and she gave them a copy of her session notes. Where she wrote I was an addict and wanted to stay off drugs. The clinic accepted that as my previous try. But they’re just trying to keep ppl alive now. So they shouldn’t be taking u off if you’re not ready. May I ask why they’re detoxing you?
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u/Affectionate_Catch81 Jan 17 '22
It is good to see other people hjave been posting on here. I have been doing pretty good on methadone. Being weaned and used last week one day as I cant stand being sick 40% of the month...but am trying to stay on board with just methadone, thc for pain i have and lots of prayers and swears..lol...hows everyone else doing this new year?
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Apr 29 '23
It's actually pretty good. And i like that you guys have taken such a stance on research.
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u/ButtJaw May 01 '20
I rarely see up/down votes in this sub (along with several others...) Are they discouraged? Are no-vote subs a thing?
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u/judasblue May 01 '20
I have no idea why that is the case. Voting is enabled in the sub and on the posts. This sounds like something weird with your client?
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u/sfbestsuited01 Jan 30 '20
Thank you. This made me emotional, I relapsed last October and I have 4 days coming off a 3 week run. I'm having problems letting my recovery friends know, I can't seem to reach out to them. I dunno I feel so sad. I had 16 year's and I guess I forgot what my life was like in my addiction.
I just now found this group and I hope reading the post's help me just a little bit. I believe in the program and I need to reach out to someone in recovery here in my City but I don't do anything.
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u/huskysizeguy99 Feb 18 '20
I hope you are doing well. I picked up at five years clean, relapsed and went on a ten year runner. Now I've been clean eight years. Shame kept me using for a long time. I couldn't handle admitting I'd used, after being a serious poster boy in the program. All my service work and leadership seemed wasted. But it was just what I had to go through, to get to today. I knew the program worked and how good recovery can be, that finally saved me. Wishing you the joy of recovery brother.
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u/ajna1347 Mar 29 '20
You can stay in recovery. Join the "no matter what" club. Happy to chat if you'd like
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u/MATGuru86 Aug 25 '22
So if we know of a specific type of community outside of here-.like for a very specific area of recovery.. that those who are on it, need specific support and accurate advice, are we allowed to share about that group or forum if we encounter someone who could benefit?
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u/Los1nMysh1t Apr 25 '20
I’m a new member and am new to posting on reddit at all... although long time reader. When I tried posting text only on other communities, it kept renavigating me to paste outside link before I could post text only.. so I came here with question and was all ready with my YouTube link (not MY YouTube link- I don’t have a channel... just a hypnosis addiction video I tried.. but thankfully saw that I only had the option to post text. I’m grateful that was the only option as I posted prior to seeing this and would never want to be banned for something without knowing why.
TLDR- So I just basically wanted to say I’m grateful it’s text only for new members to post and that you all work so hard as MODS bc I really need to be a part of an online community- especially under quarantine. So thanks!
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u/No_Raise_7160 May 01 '24
I actually like hearing experiences of people in recovery, i'm at a point where I do weed( hope not to be judged as weed has helped me out but only for me i believe.) for recovery from hard drugs and i'm worried going to meetings because I'm not clean in the traditional NA Way because I decided to do a different approach. I no longer have a sponsor a year ago due to relapsing and because I went back home with lack of support, I no longer do go to meetings as I found it unfair to go. I have respect not to go I feel for me.
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u/Significant_Low_9869 Aug 31 '24
My experience with recovery has been a long road. When I was 17 my boyfriend gave me a pill and told me to take it. I had no idea drugs could come in the form of pills. I just thought it was something like a suped up Tylenol. That was my first experience with Extasy and the first thing that led me to being an addict. I had no idea I was doing anything wrong. But after that first time, I wanted more. Scary how easy addiction can start.
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u/princess-kelly Jan 23 '20
I agree with this so much but I just tried to point it out on one post and immediately got mobbed with hate.
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u/huskysizeguy99 Feb 26 '20
That is shitty, I'm sorry it happened. Unfortunately, that happens in an online forum, where it wouldn't in a twelve step meeting. The mods here seem very protective and good about banning haters, but they can't stop it all. I understand, I've been flamed before and it can suck. Best wishes!
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u/DawnBastan Apr 25 '20
Hi! I'm Dawn, and I'm excited about this. Do you have Skype meetings, or facetime stuff?
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u/Emhitz22 24d ago edited 24d ago
I have been a solid meth addict for almost 28 years, and nobody knows. I am the worst type of addict. I smoke alone, my family, wifey, and kids never can't see my torture. I work from home, i am high all the time, but nobody can see it. Even if someone has to tell the meth addicts, nobody will believe you, I am a pillar of the community and will be respected. Everybody knows me, but I got not 1 friend. I have told the lie so long that I believe it. My wife and kids are my friends. I hate meth, the inventor, that created it to be cast into the lake of fire. I eat normal, a sleep normal, I show no results of what other meth addicts go through. I have been hiding it so long that it's normal to me. Every day, I smoke 4 grams by myself, I have stolen so much money that I can't count it. Nobody knows, for I work from home and nothing is short or needed in my home. I am the perfect father and husband. Thank you,, for allowing me to be honest. Every day, I talk to GOD, asking for forgiveness and not to blow out my candle. People don't understand that drug addict is a very evil demon that is running you, and the end goal is to end your life. No center can help you, only GOD.
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u/SqnLdrHarvey Oct 04 '22
Can a new person post, or do you have to be here a while first?
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u/judasblue Oct 04 '22
You can post any time.
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u/SqnLdrHarvey Oct 04 '22
I have been unable to originate a new post.
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u/judasblue Oct 04 '22
Then this is something with your client. Folks with literally hours old accounts post here all the time. Note that we have limited our posting to text posts, so if you are trying to post a meme or picture, that doesn't work by design.
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Nov 19 '22
[deleted]
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u/judasblue Nov 19 '22
Complicated question and I don't know your situation. My reflex would be to stay away from your old situation unless it offers some support you don't have in Texas. But the other side is unless you really deeply want to stay quit you can use anywhere finding bad company and ways to score is one of our core skills.
You might want to post this in the main sub instead of in these comments. Here I am the only person likely to see and respond to this, and generally the group is a lot smarter as a whole than any single person.
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u/ShananayRodriguez Nov 11 '19
Thank you for your work and your explanations--I can't imagine how difficult it is to make some of these decisions. I also appreciate your inclusivity and open-mindedness! I've run into so much of that in recovery spaces and it's really refreshing to see a place that honors and respects multiple pathways.