r/NoExcuses • u/Mrgrandrew • Apr 18 '19

Why does reading old break-up messages make me feel better?

I had a rough day on my day-off (first one since at least 2 months ago). Basically, I haven't felt so miserable for a very long time. I felt anxiety to the point of physical symptoms appearing. I was also quite cynical and moody.

So, I had some junk food and watched funny videos, neither of which helped.

Then I read some old break-up messages of mine on Facebook and now I'm suddenly full of energy, optimistic and in the present. The messages themselves seem to have instantly cut through the bullshit and for some reason they cleared the mental fog I had had.

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Has anyone had anything similar? How does this work? Does this always work? Are there better ways to motivate myself?

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u/hyperhedonie May 25 '19

Because you realized how you've grown as a person, and that the decision you made (to break up) was re-affirmed by you as being the right decision. Basically, - you realized that you could trust yourself. And probably, a small emotional kartharsis. This is why i keep some of my nasty break-up messages, or other messages that are highly emotional to me while i write them. It offers me a perspective into a different mindset that i (thanks to BPD and missing emotional permanence) can't recall, but the next time i am in such a mood, i can identify it better and have a set of tools prepared on how to deal with it. The message you've read must've done something like this for you.

If you wanna investigate this further, i suggest you check out karthartic stories, and how they might impact you in such a situation.